Less Alcohol - August 2018 - One Day at a Time

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  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Happy weekend, all! I'm really enjoying the clarity and energy of not drinking. Still feeling like I've been liberated. I don't think my brain will ever respond with a "meh" to alcohol. I guess that's what tells me moderation won't work for me.

    @lorrainequiche59, I understand what you're saying. I've thought about that, too. Alcohol is clearly a toxic substance, and saying that shouldn't be interpreted that you (or I) are "demonizing" it. It's just a fact. However, I think another fact is that despite all the "alcohol doesn't taste good" stuff from the writers I admire . . . there is no question in my mind that alcohol as a component of a really good wine or beer can contribute to a truly delightful drink. I'm watching a series of Culinary Institute of America videos, and I do not think the chef instructor is fooling himself when he discusses wine pairings with particular foods.

    The thing is, some people can enjoy in moderation those beverages that contain a certain percentage of this toxic substance, understanding that overdoing it is a really bad idea. Unfortunately, that toxic substance affects me in such a way that I know I can't ingest it at all without going down a very destructive road. At least, that's how I've come to think of it over these last months. I'm wasting my energy envying those who can moderate when I can't. Knowing that, I choose to feel free from, rather than wistful about, alcohol. It's the wistfulness that has led me to fail at being AF in the past and to feel like I "have" to drink because it's . . . Italy, my anniversary, vacation, or whatever.
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    With all due respect-and I am not going to argue-we all have our beliefs. Time magazine is not always objective, therefore factual, and also the Mayo Clinic uses the words "possible" and "may have" in their pairing with "health benefits". When those words are repeatedly used, it can be looked at as not necessarily factual.

  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    salleewins wrote: »
    With all due respect-and I am not going to argue-we all have our beliefs. Time magazine is not always objective, therefore factual, and also the Mayo Clinic uses the words "possible" and "may have" in their pairing with "health benefits". When those words are repeatedly used, it can be looked at as not necessarily factual.

    You are absolutely right and I am a strong proponent of peer reviewed, well vetted scientific sources. As this is a small group that isn’t really geared toward debate I just grabbed a couple of mainstream articles for a quick reference, the Time one came up in my Facebook feed the other day as I follow a number of Alzheimer’s association groups. There are journal documented benefits of light to moderate alcohol consumption but as I really am not trying to convince anyone to alter their strategy that is working for them I will refrain from spending the time in digging them up.
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    NormInv wrote: »
    This is what I was afraid of....what happened to me after Dry January happened again after Dry July...I went out and had multiple beer....I feel so disgusted....I must come up with a better plan than dry 'month'....i am not touching alcohol so help me God

    What if you try dry day? No disgust needed, just a better plan. :)
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,577 Member
    @AndyWR72 Isn't it amazing?! I would easily consume an extra 1000 calories in wine and snacks when I was drinking. Along with intermittent fasting, the weight is coming off, fairly easily.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    snoo61 wrote: »
    NormInv wrote: »
    This is what I was afraid of....what happened to me after Dry January happened again after Dry July...I went out and had multiple beer....I feel so disgusted....I must come up with a better plan than dry 'month'....i am not touching alcohol so help me God

    What if you try dry day? No disgust needed, just a better plan. :)
    JenT304 wrote: »
    @Norminv you are doing great!! You did 31 days (at least) AF!!! Be proud of yourself. You can get back in the saddle.

    Thank you. I think I should be ok now....I just need to have some goal in my mind and I think I am past the stage of 'one-day' goals. I just need to have a dry 'quarter of a year' or something....or say dry until Sep 15...however i do have a vacation coming up
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    AndyWR72 wrote: »
    Currently 24 days alcohol free, it really helps me to lose weight without it. Previously I would easily have 2000+ calories in just one evening of beer and snacks.

    me, too
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    edited August 2018
    NormInv wrote: »
    This is what I was afraid of....what happened to me after Dry January happened again after Dry July...I went out and had multiple beer....I feel so disgusted....I must come up with a better plan than dry 'month'....i am not touching alcohol so help me God

    Maybe there is just the need to celebrate after a victory. I have that with me, too. That is not uncommon. You have accomplished a lot!!!! You will pick it back up. It gets somewhat easier, especially without a goal date in mind for some reason, for some of us.
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    edited August 2018
    @WinoGelato, it would be interesting to hear about these: "There are journal documented benefits of light to moderate alcohol consumption but as I really am not trying to convince anyone to alter their strategy that is working for them I will refrain from spending the time in digging them up." You could just present them without much comments, perhaps? See what you think? I am pretty sure we are all open to factual information.

    Presently I am also interested in seeing if wine is made differently than the way it used to be many years ago. I have starting looking around to see if there is any info on this. Maybe there is a possibilty to get addicted quicker nowadays? I will see.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,577 Member
    Julie, you won't be the one with the headache tomorrow or does something else mortifying and cringe worthy at the reception. This is probably my favorite you tube wedding disaster:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBCH_vswYKk
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,415 Member
    @JenT304 OH my! That bride was disgusted and then disaster struck. OMG
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    salleewins wrote: »
    With all due respect-and I am not going to argue-we all have our beliefs. Time magazine is not always objective, therefore factual, and also the Mayo Clinic uses the words "possible" and "may have" in their pairing with "health benefits". When those words are repeatedly used, it can be looked at as not necessarily factual.

    You are absolutely right and I am a strong proponent of peer reviewed, well vetted scientific sources.

    @RubyRed427 You hit the nail on the head. It depends on which organization is financing the study. Craig Beck, as you know, actually deals with the claim of "health benefits" of red wine for eg. and refers to a study financed by the alcohol industry in which they claim benefits which are just a big fat lie in order to convince us to continue to drink their product.

    I too LOVE the taste of wine. I also KNEW while I was still drinking that alcohol is a toxin, BUT rationalized & justified & minimized so I could continue to drink anyway. It's called DENIAL!! Done with that.

    @salleewins I wondered the same thing about wine being different in our modern age. At least the commercially made product which does contain added chemicals.
  • WhineThyme
    WhineThyme Posts: 959 Member
    salleewins wrote: »
    ...
    Presently I am also interested in seeing if wine is made differently than the way it used to be many years ago. I have starting looking around to see if there is any info on this. Maybe there is a possibilty to get addicted quicker nowadays? I will see.

    Interesting. I was just contemplating the same thing last night. I'm thinking it's most likely very different. But looking forward to something new to research.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    LC0924 wrote: »
    Hello, all! It’s random and I definitely don’t want to interrupt the conversation, but I did want to share - I was sitting in the chair of my super awesome stylist today and she was talking to me about her 10+ years of sobriety. I mentioned that I had quit drinking (because, I mean, I technically have) and she was SO EXCITED for me. It was the first time I’ve said it out loud to anyone other than my husband and it was weirdly scary but also very rewarding :)

    I hope Saturday has been treating you all well! Whether your goal is no alcohol or mindful drinking, you’ve got this <3

    Very nice victory!
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    LC0924 wrote: »
    Hello, all! It’s random and I definitely don’t want to interrupt the conversation, but I did want to share - I was sitting in the chair of my super awesome stylist today and she was talking to me about her 10+ years of sobriety. I mentioned that I had quit drinking (because, I mean, I technically have) and she was SO EXCITED for me. It was the first time I’ve said it out loud to anyone other than my husband and it was weirdly scary but also very rewarding :)

    I hope Saturday has been treating you all well! Whether your goal is no alcohol or mindful drinking, you’ve got this <3

    You are never interrupting! I'm happy for you, its wonderful to be celebrated for what you're doing!
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    salleewins wrote: »
    With all due respect-and I am not going to argue-we all have our beliefs. Time magazine is not always objective, therefore factual, and also the Mayo Clinic uses the words "possible" and "may have" in their pairing with "health benefits". When those words are repeatedly used, it can be looked at as not necessarily factual.

    Those are the same words used with just about every medication I have ever seen advertised. You can't say X will definitely produce results in every person because it won't and if it doesn't and you claim it will you open yourself up for a lawsuit.

    I also believe that alcohol can have benefits and I don't think it is a stretch in the least considering the number of truly lethal substances out there that are regularly used in medicine.

    I think the problem with saying alcohol is a toxin or poison is that there is no context. Without context it makes moderate drinkers sound kind of dumb for drinking it at all. Without context you could say that over the counter pain medications are toxins/poisons because if you use them for an extended period of time daily they can cause serious health problems like liver disease. However, it is unlikely (not impossible) for you to experience problems under normal circumstances. This is one example but I can think of many more including sun exposure, pollution, stress, over-eating, etc., that can all be problems in excess.

    Thank you for your well thought out post. I'm over the debate, we are all here because we are trying to do better.
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Question: Have any of you guys dealt with the issue of what to do as a host if you are now either AF or moderating in a way that was formerly not typical of you? I ask because I got a text from a friend who is part of a couple who comes over every year for dinner, drinks, and the season-opening episode of NCIS. We all know we are complete DORKS for doing this, so that is not the issue. The issue is that I always cook, we have dinner with wine, and then drinks while watching Gibbs, Ducky, Abby (RIP), etc. This made me realize there are other events we host throughout the year, like an Oscars Night party, where alcohol has traditionally been a major feature.

    It's one thing to go out to a bar or party and not drink. I can do that. But I feel weird about suddenly hosting people who are quite understandably expecting alcohol and not providing it. On the other hand, I feel weird about hosting an event with abundant alcohol when my own intention is to be alcohol free.

    Any thoughts? I mean, really, etiquette-wise. I'm not afraid of being around the alcohol. I just don't know what the right thing to do in the future is, as far as my "duty" as a host to offer alcohol. I received an invitation from a couple I don't know very well for a 30th Anniversary party they were hosting (their own anniversary). The invitation said, "No alcohol, please." I took that to mean, "Please don't bring us bottles of wine." But for friends that will expect to be served alcohol when they come to my house, I don't know what to do. I think etiquette is about making everyone feel comfortable and respected. I'm happy to offer wine with dinner, but I don't want guests to feel uncomfortable if I'm drinking Perrier and they are drinking wine. And I have to say that in the past, some of our gatherings have become a bit over the top alcohol-wise, and I don't want that to happen, but I don't want things to be super awkward, either, if we suddenly offer a choice of soft drinks with no explanation of where the wine, beer, vodka, etc., went. Any suggestions/advice welcome.
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @donimfp I Agree with @NovusDies. You need to be true to you & determine what that means personally. I would say listen to your gut instead of doing what you "should" do, do what you need to do for you. Is this selfish?? I'd say it depends on the context LOL <3 ...I prefer to think of self-care as self-FULL. (Easy for me to say though because I'm not emotionally attached to your situation.) Your true friends will want to support you even if that means sacrifice on their part. If nothing else, it will determine the quality of your friendships. That can be the uncomfortable part for you though.

    I have hosted a couple of AF events, BUT I invited those friends that I knew would be ok & actually offer me support around my sobriety. I have yet to host those who I'm not sure of or that I suspect may be disappointed in the whole AF lifestyle, but I am past the point of people pleasing!! At the same time I don't want to be overconfident & set myself up. I need more time to get my new habits firmly entrenched before I take on any more challenges.

    I've had my own dilemma with a very nice bottle of champagne that's been sitting in my fridge from a couple of moves ago. It was a gift from a client. The plan before I became AF was to have a champagne brunch including my client. The other option was to give it back to her. I vacillated between hosting the brunch which I already had passed by a couple of friends very willing to attend & giving it back to my client. Can I host the brunch & be ok with not drinking. Yes, I feel confident I could. BUT would I be ok with serving my friends something I wouldn't drink because I am promoting an AF lifestyle. I personally feel I wouldn't be true to myself...BUT that is MY thing, I'm not saying anyone else should agree...This is ME!! So, my decision is made after writing this little spiel out, the champagne is being returned. She can do with it what she wants.

    You have to decide what is YOU & feel good about it!!
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