What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
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Replies
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Wife found out.6
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TheRoadDog wrote: »Wife found out.
Winner winner chicken dinner!0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one.
You don't wait until you are so deep with someone that you are planning marriage before you determine what kind of life you might envision with someone.
And here's a heads up. In sickness and in health means that your woman might be "fully functioning," and then get pregnant. Or sick. And you might have to take care of her. So keep that in mind when you think you only have to take care of yourself in this world.
Rare is the person who is coupled with someone that feels responsible for only themselves. Often they aren't taking care of just themself or the other person, but often kids and parents AND others.
You know, like people who care about things like making a difference in this world and leaving a legacy.
Are you also the kind of guy who splits the check?
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PangPangPrincess109 wrote: »Our first dinner together. Everything is going fine. Then out of the blue he states, "We will have five children". I nearly spit out my drink.
Funnily enough, five is the perfect number of kids I'd like to have someday, but I never told this guy that before our meeting, and this came out of nowhere!
Yeah, you definitely had to get out of there. He wanted exactly the same things you wanted in life.0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
Grow up.7 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one.
You don't wait until you are so deep with someone that you are planning marriage before you determine what kind of life you might envision with someone.
And here's a heads up. In sickness and in health means that your woman might be "fully functioning," and then get pregnant. Or sick. And you might have to take care of her. So keep that in mind when you think you only have to take care of yourself in this world.
Rare is the person who is coupled with someone that feels responsible for only themselves. Often they aren't taking care of just themself or the other person, but often kids and parents AND others.
You know, like people who care about things like making a difference in this world and leaving a legacy.
Are you also the kind of guy who splits the check?
I agree...
I take care of myself and my daughter. But I don't want to get involved with someone who doesn't know how to pay bills on time, or has bad credit, or has a mountain of loans/debt that he isn't sure how he will pay off. I am not going to be his mama and remind him. I want a partner. Shared responsibilities, shared accounts. And yes, we would most likely be taking care of each other and possibly other family members. That happens when a relationship progresses into a marriage.
I don't want to wait till I am emotionally involved with someone, before finding this stuff out. Especially now that I have a child. If it was just me, it might be a different story. But all my decisions will affect her. And I want to make sure that I can offer her as much stability as possible. That includes finances.
This doesn't mean that I will start asking about credit scores and finances upon meeting someone..... But it will come up within the first 5 dates, to be sure.4 -
Pour_Decisions wrote: »Well actually it was a guy pursuing me and I was totally into him until he started speaking like a hood rat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3BfJwuZ2zE 0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
You're offended by a woman talking about matters affecting women?. . Well, thank goodness you're here to take care of all these misguided women. . (ironic). .In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
So. . you're saying that their personal finances matter b/c you don't want someone sponging off of you . .(ironic).When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
You quote the traditional wedding vows to make your simplistic point. . . even though you clearly think wedding vows and religion in general are stupid.I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
You take ownership of what is and is not "proper" . . as if your worldview is correct and everyone else is wrong. .
This whole thing is high-handed, condescending, and naive.
You're still in college aren't you?
10 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »PangPangPrincess109 wrote: »Our first dinner together. Everything is going fine. Then out of the blue he states, "We will have five children". I nearly spit out my drink.
Funnily enough, five is the perfect number of kids I'd like to have someday, but I never told this guy that before our meeting, and this came out of nowhere!
Yeah, you definitely had to get out of there. He wanted exactly the same things you wanted in life.
First dinner. I don't know this guy whatsoever. Gee, who ever heard of timing though? What's THAT?0 -
Cameron_1969 wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
You're offended by a woman talking about matters affecting women?. . Well, thank goodness you're here to take care of all these misguided women. . (ironic). .In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
So. . you're saying that their personal finances matter b/c you don't want someone sponging off of you . .(ironic).When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
You quote the traditional wedding vows to make your simplistic point. . . even though you clearly think wedding vows and religion in general are stupid.I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
You take ownership of what is and is not "proper" . . as if your worldview is correct and everyone else is wrong. .
This whole thing is high-handed, condescending, and naive.
You're still in college aren't you?
Maybe professional student. With a LOT of student loans....
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They consistently posted comments that ran to more than five paragraphs. Say it in two or begone!8
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"hey wut u doin"
/Over.2 -
Cameron_1969 wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
You're offended by a woman talking about matters affecting women?. . Well, thank goodness you're here to take care of all these misguided women. . (ironic). .In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
So. . you're saying that their personal finances matter b/c you don't want someone sponging off of you . .(ironic).When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
You quote the traditional wedding vows to make your simplistic point. . . even though you clearly think wedding vows and religion in general are stupid.I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
You take ownership of what is and is not "proper" . . as if your worldview is correct and everyone else is wrong. .
This whole thing is high-handed, condescending, and naive.
You're still in your mother's basement aren't you?
Fixed it for you.
7 -
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well the restraining order made me believe that we may not have been on the same page ...3
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