Office Gossip

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  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    LMNOP55 wrote: »
    Janet has a lumpy butt

    I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!

    Ima come at you like a spider monkey

    Have you ever traveled to St. Barths to drop acid and sunbathe with spider monkeys?

    It will change your whole perspective on chit.
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  • Ninkasi
    Ninkasi Posts: 173 Member
    OMG, how many DUIs are you going to get before they fire your useless *kitten*?

    Trick question, they won't. You'll just get shuffled off to another department. I just hope it isn't mine, I had enough of you four years ago.
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  • Versicolour
    Versicolour Posts: 7,164 Member
    Speaker phone conference call in a cubicle, really? Do you think you're the only one who works here?

    That is the perfect time to shout random things like "Who took my green paperclip with the ladybug on top?" or "Does anyone have a letter opener? I can't get into my email!"
  • SabAteNine
    SabAteNine Posts: 1,867 Member
    SabAteNine wrote: »
    You just came back from a 2-week vacay, and before that you worked a week „from home”. Stop complaining. Stop it.

    Also someone drank all my coconut milk and didn't replace it. I'm going to have someone's head today.

    ...and then there's you. You left in vacation for like ever, set your autoresponder to contact me for everything, and now I'm getting asked by hotels in Austria if you'd like a baby bed for your stay. Well, have fun. But don't push it, I can forge your signature with my eyes closed.

    Spunky af

    Dude you never sleep, do you? :smiley:
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    I'm confused how you're on the payroll when you don't actually do anything .... 😶
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    edited August 2018
    81Katz wrote: »
    I'm confused how you're on the payroll when you don't actually do anything .... 😶

    Is it bad that I think this about myself some days?
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  • qandv9
    qandv9 Posts: 22 Member
    No, IVF is not un-holy. Coworker. My twin 7 year olds aren't unholy either. I might be unholy but because of IVF.
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  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Its 9:51 and you are already saying you're hungry for lunch and is it 5pm yet. I will stab you in the classical with my chewed up pen

    :)

    I love autocorrect sometimes. Actually, I don't, I hate it but it can be funny.

    22rcl76f2a7w.png
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  • Misty_1375
    Misty_1375 Posts: 759 Member
    Seriously, how loud can you snore IN THE OFFICE? People know you are sleeping and not just "zoning out".
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  • Misty_1375
    Misty_1375 Posts: 759 Member
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Seriously, how loud can you snore IN THE OFFICE? People know you are sleeping and not just "zoning out".

    Let the pranks begin

    It's SO LOUD!!! Like something you see out of a movie! I went to his cube one day and asked him a question and he nodded out right when I was talking to him. Ok dude. Carry on :|
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  • Misty_1375
    Misty_1375 Posts: 759 Member
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Seriously, how loud can you snore IN THE OFFICE? People know you are sleeping and not just "zoning out".

    Let the pranks begin

    It's SO LOUD!!! Like something you see out of a movie! I went to his cube one day and asked him a question and he nodded out right when I was talking to him. Ok dude. Carry on :|

    Dip his hand in warm water :D:D

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! I like the way you think!
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  • Misty_1375
    Misty_1375 Posts: 759 Member
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Seriously, how loud can you snore IN THE OFFICE? People know you are sleeping and not just "zoning out".

    Let the pranks begin

    It's SO LOUD!!! Like something you see out of a movie! I went to his cube one day and asked him a question and he nodded out right when I was talking to him. Ok dude. Carry on :|

    Dip his hand in warm water :D:D

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! I like the way you think!

    Safety pin his shirt to his chair

    Tape on the bottom of his mouse so it doesn't work or take a screenshot of his desktop and then just enlarge it so when he tries to click on the icons nothing happens...lol. He will think he's crazy OR still dreaming!
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  • Misty_1375
    Misty_1375 Posts: 759 Member
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Misty_1375 wrote: »
    Seriously, how loud can you snore IN THE OFFICE? People know you are sleeping and not just "zoning out".

    Let the pranks begin

    It's SO LOUD!!! Like something you see out of a movie! I went to his cube one day and asked him a question and he nodded out right when I was talking to him. Ok dude. Carry on :|

    Dip his hand in warm water :D:D

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! I like the way you think!

    Safety pin his shirt to his chair

    Tape on the bottom of his mouse so it doesn't work or take a screenshot of his desktop and then just enlarge it so when he tries to click on the icons nothing happens...lol. He will think he's crazy OR still dreaming!

    Ctl + down arrow

    That's a good one too!
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