Need help with a PURELY hypothetical situation.
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Use them as jolly alternatives to garden gnomes.
If they are of differing sizes and colours you could also create a back garden chess set.
Invite Grandma round for a game
^ this. You could affix them to a tree like those gnome faces....0 -
That's how I'm going out!It's sad that you're obviously making this post to try to be funny or get attention at your deceased relative's expense, especially w/your family photo right there on your profile. I believe that you actually found these things, and also believe that you know what to do w/them...because it's obvious you should trash them. How would you feel if someone was going through YOUR things after you died & found a questionable item & decided to turn it into a big laugh on a public website. Have a little respect for the dead.
Wouldn't care because.....ummm.....dead.
Besides, when it's a person you loved dearly, sometimes laughter helps heal the pain of a loss. I hope when I die, people find something to laugh about when they clear out my junk. Just don't open the red box marked "Cleveland."
Not only dead, but with that many toys, probably died a happy. :smokin:
Oh shoot. The visual...I can't. even.0 -
I actually just wanted to IBTL but I was curious, so Google.
http://www.sextoyrecycling.com/howitworks.html
Their tagline: "Love Yourself, Love The Planet"
I'm dying reading their "Improvised Pleasure Devices" suggestions.
If you need a ... toy there may be one closer than you think, in your refrigerator or around the house. Fruits and vegetables like bananas and cucumbers make a simple and inexpensive substitute for a d...o. Many common items like electric toothbrushes or hairbrush handles can also be used for pleasure. And with a little imagination and ingenuity, you can create improvised ... toys and give a second life to materials like plastic bags, shampoo bottles, toilet paper tubes, and rubber gloves. :laugh:0 -
It's sad that you're obviously making this post to try to be funny or get attention at your deceased relative's expense, especially w/your family photo right there on your profile. I believe that you actually found these things, and also believe that you know what to do w/them...because it's obvious you should trash them. How would you feel if someone was going through YOUR things after you died & found a questionable item & decided to turn it into a big laugh on a public website. Have a little respect for the dead.
Wouldn't care because.....ummm.....dead.
Besides, when it's a person you loved dearly, sometimes laughter helps heal the pain of a loss. I hope when I die, people find something to laugh about when they clear out my junk. Just don't open the red box marked "Cleveland."
Yeah... and for all you know the dead person might have found this whole thing quite hysterical. I mean you can't be too uptight if you keep a big back of d*cks lying around.
Literally.
Ah... I see you caught my intentional double entendre... wish I had caught the spelling error before it was quoted though.
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ebay.0
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Hypothetically, people keep digging through the dumpster. I don't want them finding THAT! Especially people who, hypothetically knew this person.
Who cares if someone finds them? It's not shameful lol. Also, throwing them away would DEFINITELY keep people from digging through your dumpster if they happened across them.
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Hold on! I will send you my address in a PM!
I *knew* one of my friends would respond!0 -
1. Take the ducks to a stranger's garage sale (preferably a girl scout/boy scout or church mission fundraiser.)
2. Quietly place the ducks on a crowded table when no one is looking.
3. Stand where you can discreetly photograph the faces of the shoppers with your iPhone.
4. Post the pictures here.
Yes. I like this even better than donating to Westboro Baptist. Maybe OP can split up the loot and go halfsies.0 -
Are these...battery-operated ducks?0 -
Throw them away the trash truck drivers are hillarious when they find ducks in their pile! HA HA0
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But for the love of god, toss them. No one wants a used wang.0
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Donate them all to Westboro Baptist Church! They love practical jokes like that.
Oh, and make sure the return address is also someone you don't like.
I second this suggestion!
yes this!!!0 -
1. Get a friend/relative who will appreciate your errand, dress up all in black with ski masks.
2. While playing the Mission Impossible theme song, drive to an apartment complex, restaurant, superstore... somewhere with a large dumpster.
3. Dump bag 'o dildoes
4. Head IMMEDIATELY to a bar, drink tequila, and toast the deceased. Hypothetically.0 -
But for the love of god, toss them. No one wants a used wang.
he he he you said wang.... he he he0 -
First, you take a picture and send it to all of your family saying, "Look what I found at ____ house! Can you believe it???" Then you throw them away.0
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Give it to the homeless, or leave one in every public restroom you come across from now on.0
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ewww0
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Just watch for those surveillance cam....that stuff comes back...Ok, so then take the trash bag with the ducks somewhere else. There are trash recepticals EVERYWHERE! Gas station, grocery store, library, etc. if the bag's too big then find a construction site with a dumpster and throw it in there when no one's around. Or just take it straight to the local dump.
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There is an appropriate picture for all replies.
Just watch for those surveillance cam....that stuff comes back...Ok, so then take the trash bag with the ducks somewhere else. There are trash recepticals EVERYWHERE! Gas station, grocery store, library, etc. if the bag's too big then find a construction site with a dumpster and throw it in there when no one's around. Or just take it straight to the local dump.0 -
Hypothetical or not.......
This........was.......hysterical......:laugh:
Oh, and by the way....hypothetically just throw the 'ducks' out!!
Agreed!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
This.0 -
1. Take the ducks to a stranger's garage sale (preferably a girl scout/boy scout or church mission fundraiser.)
2. Quietly place the ducks on a crowded table when no one is looking.
3. Stand where you can discreetly photograph the faces of the shoppers with your iPhone.
4. Post the pictures here.
This, best one I"ve read yet, would love to see pictures!0 -
Surprised you'd ask ... hypothetically ...
Not hypothetically: just throw them away.0 -
1. Take the ducks to a stranger's garage sale (preferably a girl scout/boy scout or church mission fundraiser.)
2. Quietly place the ducks on a crowded table when no one is looking.
3. Stand where you can discreetly photograph the faces of the shoppers with your iPhone.
4. Post the pictures here.
This, best one I"ve read yet, would love to see pictures!
I like this one too.
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Would you really want to meet a person face to face to sell them to a buyer from Craigslist? I mean, embarrassment notwithstanding. Do you really want to meet up with a person who would buy such a thing used?0
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An MFP friend suggested that I post this on a message board. So here goes nothing.
Let's say, PURELY hypothetically, you are half a country away from your house, cleaning out a deceased relative's home. And you happen upon a hypothetical bag of used rubber d*cks (and I don't mean ducks). Do you think the Salvation Army or Volunteers of America would take them? If not, any suggestions? And please don't tell me to shove you know what you know where. '
Thank you!
A duck, huh? If it floats on water, it must weigh the same thing as a duck, therefore being a witch.
YOU SHOULD BURN THEM. Immediately, if not sooner!
Oh, they are not REALLY ducks?
BURN THEM ANYWAY!!!!!0 -
I always wanted to start a business just for situations like these.
You pay a small fee as a retainer . If something happens I will open your home, take all the lube, porn, toys, etc... Then I will replace it with lifetime movies, a bible, letters from kids in other countries you've been supporting, etc.
Instant image change: from a kinkster to a do-gooder your family would be proud of!
LMAO... I knew I liked you.0 -
HYPOTHETICALLY, I would leave them on doorsteps of people I don't like. Heck, I'd love to pour them in through the sunroof of my neighbor's car; that would be hysterical. Hypothetically. (Although if I had money to blow - ahem- this might not be hypothetical).
Like everyone else said, nobody in their right mind is going to take them used. Might as well have fun with them. I mean, a different kind of fun.0 -
are you at Louis Ck's house?0
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1. Take the ducks to a stranger's garage sale (preferably a girl scout/boy scout or church mission fundraiser.)
2. Quietly place the ducks on a crowded table when no one is looking.
3. Stand where you can discreetly photograph the faces of the shoppers with your iPhone.
4. Post the pictures here.
This, best one I"ve read yet, would love to see pictures!
Waiting for those pics!!0 -
HYPOTHETICALLY, I would leave them on doorsteps of people I don't like. Heck, I'd love to pour them in through the sunroof of my neighbor's car; that would be hysterical. Hypothetically. (Although if I had money to blow - ahem- this might not be hypothetical).
Like everyone else said, nobody in their right mind is going to take them used. Might as well have fun with them. I mean, a different kind of fun.
People who keep saying nobody wants to buy them used seriously underestimate the level of freakishness that exists in this world. People buy dirty panties that other people crap in on the internet.0
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