Best Marriage Advice

Options
12357…15

Replies

  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Options
    "LIKING" each other is WAY more important than LOVING each other. PERIOD

    'Love' is more than how you feel at any moment. It's a verb, and it's what you do.
  • christinarayburn3
    christinarayburn3 Posts: 22 Member
    Options
    If it was a problem before the marriage, it will be a problem after the marriage.
  • trishgrace
    trishgrace Posts: 285
    Options
    Tell them you love them. Daily. Multiple times a day even. Never let doubt creep into their mind. Always kiss them goodbye before you leave.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
    Options
    Man, some good stuff in here!
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    Options
    Oh...and the other important one:

    Marry your best friend...You know, because sometimes the passion fizzles out, or God forbid something physically happens that prevents you from being able to be intimate...you want to live out the remainder of your (hopefully not sexless) days with someone you truly enjoy being with.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Options
    Understand that when you get married, you have to work to make that marriage successful. It's easy to fall back and slack off, but you can't do that if you want to stay happily married.

    Two of the most important parts of marriage are trust and intimacy.

    I read somewhere that the happiest long time married couples (over 20 years) had sex 3-5 times a week. Aim for that and you have a very good chance to be successful.

    Remember that there will be bumps in the road. How you deal with those bumps is the key to whether your marriage will make it through.

    I've been with my husband for 23 years and we've had our ups and downs, but I can honestly say that we are more in love today than when we got married. We are each other's best friend and we say "I love you" several times a day and every time we end a phone call with each other. We make each other our priority. Every morning when I am making my breakfast to take to work, I fix his breakfast and set up the coffee pot so all he has to do is turn it on when he gets up. He makes me dinner every single night. Even if he doesn't happen to be hungry.
  • littlelaura
    littlelaura Posts: 1,028 Member
    Options
    Have an open marriage or hmm well no wait ...maybe that was have an open mind, never go to bed angry even if you have to stay up till 3 in the morning, hashing it out. Always say your sorry it isn't admitting your wrong, just that you are sorry for anything hurtful said, and always say I love you, you never know when it will be your last chance to say it to them, so if you really do, make sure they know.
  • nhouse3417
    nhouse3417 Posts: 105
    Options
    Bump.

    Most everything has been said. Great post!
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    Options
    Treat your spouse like you don't deserve them so you're doing everything you can to keep them.

    ^^^My husband and I both treat each other this way.



    Apparently, as near as I can tell from talking to my parents (who have been married 41 years) the key to a long marriage is to never talk to each other. I usually have to have the same conversation with each of them separately to get a whole story because they never seem to tell each other what is really going on. They are still very happily married after 41 years, and still hold hands in public.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    Options
    Understand that when you get married, you have to work to make that marriage successful. It's easy to fall back and slack off, but you can't do that if you want to stay happily married.

    Two of the most important parts of marriage are trust and intimacy.

    I read somewhere that the happiest long time married couples (over 20 years) had sex 3-5 times a week. Aim for that and you have a very good chance to be successful.

    Remember that there will be bumps in the road. How you deal with those bumps is the key to whether your marriage will make it through.

    I've been with my husband for 23 years and we've had our ups and downs, but I can honestly say that we are more in love today than when we got married. We are each other's best friend and we say "I love you" several times a day and every time we end a phone call with each other. We make each other our priority. Every morning when I am making my breakfast to take to work, I fix his breakfast and set up the coffee pot so all he has to do is turn it on when he gets up. He makes me dinner every single night. Even if he doesn't happen to be hungry.


    :flowerforyou: :love:

    This is awesome!
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Options

    Also, snuggling is just as important as sex.

    This, and always make sure you're both going to bed and waking smiling.

    Everything else has been pretty much covered in other posts.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Options
    Understand that when you get married, you have to work to make that marriage successful. It's easy to fall back and slack off, but you can't do that if you want to stay happily married.

    Two of the most important parts of marriage are trust and intimacy.

    I read somewhere that the happiest long time married couples (over 20 years) had sex 3-5 times a week. Aim for that and you have a very good chance to be successful.

    Remember that there will be bumps in the road. How you deal with those bumps is the key to whether your marriage will make it through.

    I've been with my husband for 23 years and we've had our ups and downs, but I can honestly say that we are more in love today than when we got married. We are each other's best friend and we say "I love you" several times a day and every time we end a phone call with each other. We make each other our priority. Every morning when I am making my breakfast to take to work, I fix his breakfast and set up the coffee pot so all he has to do is turn it on when he gets up. He makes me dinner every single night. Even if he doesn't happen to be hungry.


    :flowerforyou: :love:

    This is awesome!

    I agree! :)
  • rsalty
    rsalty Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    1. If you ever fear your spouse might cheat/leave you, treat them in a way that makes them want to stay (because chances are the fear is in your head and not reality anyway).
    2. Don't have constant "headaches". Would it really kill ya to "take one for the team" now and again?
    3. Be cautious about opposite sex friendships. I'm not saying they can't be safe, but be cautious.
    4. Don't tell all your friends about your issues with your spouse. Tell your spouse.
    5. Always kiss goodnight. Even when you're mad. Kiss goodnight.
    6. Never intentionally make your spouse feel jealous.
    7. Avoid passive-agressive behavior. If you've got an issue with them, tell them.
    8. If you can't live with any part of the person you're about to marry (bad habits, etc.), don't marry them thinking it will get better, change, etc.
    9. Be careful what you say and how you say it. Words can be a weapon, and once released, cannot be retrieved. Be cautious about using words like "divorce", "hate", etc.
    10. Use the words "always" and "never" sparingly, as in "you always forget to take the trash out", "you never want to do what I want to do".
    11. When conflict arises, start your sentences with the word "I", and not the word "You". "I feel like you don't care about me when you don't make time for me" comes off a lot better than "YOU never make time for me." Same information, but the first is generally better received.

    I could go on for days, but I'll leave it at that.

    4,9,7,10 should be 1 through 4. Those are spot on.

    I would add
    "listen to what they want 'in bed' (or out) so that you can work with them on it".
    "Realize they might change from year to year"
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
    Options
    Best marriage advice? DON'T DO IT!
  • sstan03
    sstan03 Posts: 102
    Options
    Continue to treat your partner as if you're still "dating".

    Every once in a while my man brings me flowers, or chocolates. Every time I go shopping anywhere with cards, I look to see if there are any that remind me of him. I hide them in his car randomly. Sometimes we ditch the kids and go out to a movie. We hold hands.

    I'll wear something sexy and seduce him---do something a little more exotic than the standard blow jobs and steak dinners he gets regularly for having the good sense to be with me.

    These are the things that were lacking in my failed marriage. (besides that he doesn't beat me. That's advice too. Don't beat your spouse.)
    .
    .
    .
    The other day I woke up in the morning, long after my partner had gone to work in the dark hours of the day. I put on a cup of coffee and went to weigh myself (as is my routine) and my scale wouldn't work. The digital display was glowing a bit, but it couldn't read it, so I flipped on the bathroom light to see what was going on

    the display had been covered up by a piece of paper that read "PERFECT" (my profile picture now).

    Those little things keep "the spark" alive.

    Don't take your person for granted,

    neither allow yourself to be taken for granted.

    well said. I have been married for 21 years now and find that i have been put on the back burner. I guess i did not try hard enough to have that alone time couples need and now I feel as though i am just a room mate that pays the bills. Make sure you make your spouse feel loved and respected but do not let yourself be taken for granted. lack of intimacy will kill a marriage real fast.
  • Oliviamarie05
    Oliviamarie05 Posts: 528 Member
    Options
    Some advice I received and really enjoyed was: I don't always wake up feeling like I love my husband, those are the days I choose to love him.

    They have been happily married for 25 years with 5 children. It stuck with me. You may not always like each other but you can always choose to love your partner until you fall in love all over again.
  • dkgoetz
    dkgoetz Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    The other day I woke up in the morning, long after my partner had gone to work in the dark hours of the day. I put on a cup of coffee and went to weigh myself (as is my routine) and my scale wouldn't work. The digital display was glowing a bit, but it couldn't read it, so I flipped on the bathroom light to see what was going on

    the display had been covered up by a piece of paper that read "PERFECT" (my profile picture now).

    Those little things keep "the spark" alive.

    AWWWWW! Your scale story is very sweet!

    I'm not married yet (currently planning my wedding for 2014!), but the one thing I've learned from my parents, who have been married for 31 years and had their fair share of ups and downs, is to remember the vows you took in the first place. My mom stuck with my dad while he was dealing with an addiction, and he was her rock while she was battling breast cancer. Now that I'm looking ahead to my own marriage, they are my inspiration :]

    Another thing (for both husbands and wives), don't be afraid to be cheesy and romantic!! Every anniversary, my dad buys roses for my mom - one for every year they were married - but he always inserts a fake rose somewhere in the vase. Then he tells her, "I will love you until every last one of these roses wilts." :} Totally cheesy, but so sweet!

Categories