Total jerk.

horrorstory

So my boyfriend plays on a football team, and last year there was an awards ceremony that was held a 9 hour drive away from the city we live in. My boyfriend decided that he didnt want to go out and party with the guys after because we had a long ride home and he was tired. This one guy on his team started saying that he wasnt going out because of me. (not true at all, im not that kind of person) The guy then went on to say that my boyfriend should come out and he will find him a "new one"and "a waaaay better one" (in reference to me) and tons of other rude comments. After a long night of being upset, having a total breakdown and arguing with my boyfriend - even though it wasnt his fault - girl logic..... I forgot about the comment and moved on.

A few days ago, I was going to a practice and the guy was there and saif to his friend loud enough for me to hear...."Wow. I cant believe he is still with that fat b*#$h".

BAM. Right in the confidence. I never get this upset about stupid comments and Im really a strong confident person but this guy....totally knocked me down and now i cant forget his comments.

How do you guys deal with jerks like that? I just feel so defeated.

hyenagirl

People used to say things along those lines to me- in high school I was dubbed the ugly weird girl. I had a "high school BF" once and many people asked him the same question and remarks. Even though he was the least bit athletic. He listened to them and dumped me for this girl down he street. I use it as personal motivation. I think, one day, "I'll show them" and pretend that I'm shaking my fist in my mind.

I work hard because I like seeing the look of surprise on people's faces. Reactions are a huge motivation for me. Probably more so than any material-based reward.

Now that I'm 30, everyone is boggled down with children and post-pregnancy binging weight that they find difficult to lose. I'm like a fine wine, I just get better with age. I'm the same weight now as when I was 15 (I stopped growing at age 12). Not only that, I'm in the best shape of my life, so far, night now.

Now people are always asking me how I lost weight, what I eat, what I do to stay in shape. Hang in there. You're time to shine will come.

In all fairness, children are indeed a full time job. I think many mothers just aren't paying attention to what they are eating, since they are busy trying to get a picky toddler to eat.

lauren3101

Just punch him in the face. It helps.

And then carry on losing weight.

phrendlynut

First off, what's wrong with this guy that's he's gotta bring someone else down? That's pretty trashy. He doesn't know you. He doesn't know that you quote Wayne's World. (I kinda stalked your profile. Hope you don't mind. Feel free to do the same.)

I understand feeling defeated at comments like that. You've worked so hard and one little comment knocks the wind out of your sails. It can be hard to move past but you just have to remember to do you. What get's me back to me is listening to Eye of the Tiger. I know that seems cliche but it works for me. It helps me kill my workouts too.

It sounds like this guy is just going to hate no matter what. Feel sorry for him because he's missing out a lot of beautiful things in life. (I'm also gonna go out on a limb and say that someone calls him a douchbag daily.)

FakingFitness

Sounds like this guy has a personal problem with you.
Why not just confront him?
If he's just being a bullyish @ss, he'll most likely stop (or everyone will see him for an @ss and he'll lose clout.
If he has a legit issue, you could clear it up.

horrorstory

Oh man. Thank you so much guys. Next time he makes a comment, Im going to punch him in the face, quote waynes world and walk away looking fabulous. Haha.

stefjc

I used to wish I had a store of witty putdowns for things like him. But somehow they always manage to ridicule any response - even down to the childish ' woo woo woo woo' noises they tend to make when they have used their whole quota of words.

Now I stare at the person next to them and calmly and quietly ask 'do you know how stupid he makes you look?'

Normally gives them a bit of a pause for thought, during which I walk away.

As long as your bf despises him too you are OK. Ignore and move on.

Good luck with the weight loss.

Mama530

Not everyone is always going to like you. It's pointless trying to figure out their reasons or motives, as long as you're happy with who you are and your choices, don't pay him no mind.

jlnmonkey

His comments say more about him than about you. He's the one with the problem. Feel sorry for him. Pity him. Hope he finds a way to be a better human being. Hope he finds a way to deal with whatever effed-up childhood he had that would make his self-esteem so low that he has to pick on other people.

Know, in your heart, that he's not attacking you; he's just really sad and angry.

You get to leave. He has to live with himself.

Rebekah718

That is awful unfortunately haters are going to hate.

keenho

I think you are being easy on him calling him a total jerk. The loser isn't worthy of your worry or concern. If I were your BF, I'd set this guy straight and ask him to keep his friendship and comments to himself. Keep up the great work and remember that this deuche bag isn't the person you see in the mirror or wake up next to everyday.

Stump_Likker

Just punch him in the face. It helps.

And then carry on losing weight.

Gets my vote!

Maliberri

He's probably just jealous of your boyfriend :P

Nicolette04

Oh man. Thank you so much guys. Next time he makes a comment, Im going to punch him in the face, quote waynes world and walk away looking fabulous. Haha.

Ha!

EricJonrosh

Just use it as fuel.

danarandallreed

It sucks when someone says something like that and we freeze like a deer in headlights. I know your pain and have had a similar experience last year with strangers. In the moment, words fail me.

I like what one post said about saying to the person next to him how stupid he makes them look. Then, if the "jerk" tries to say something, you can say, "I am sorry, were you talking? I didn't hear you."

Wish I could of thought of that last year.

It makes me wonder if the "jerk" really likes you and that is his childish way of acting it out.

strongmindstrongbody

With a jerk like this, I'd confront him then-and-there. If you don't, you're the one still feeling emotional after the fact and he's going about with his life, not a care in the world. You owe it to yourself to stand up for yourself.

simsburyjet

Go up to him and say hey ugly look at her point in the other direction and kick him where it hurts the most.

lizsmith1976

I just checked your pictures. You are beautiful, and he's an idiot.

LOVE your hair.

Event_Horizon975

I used to wish I had a store of witty putdowns for things like him. But somehow they always manage to ridicule any response - even down to the childish ' woo woo woo woo' noises they tend to make when they have used their whole quota of words.

Now I stare at the person next to them and calmly and quietly ask 'do you know how stupid he makes you look?'

Normally gives them a bit of a pause for thought, during which I walk away.

As long as your bf despises him too you are OK. Ignore and move on.

Good luck with the weight loss.

^^ Yep!! I've been there honey - been called things like this by people I've crushed on. It truly says so much more about HIM than you! His confidence is low. His morals are low. His class is low. He's BELOW you. Don't think on it too much and if you do now and again think about it & feel hurt - use it to motivate you & push you forward! xoxo

kellesee

Oh man. Thank you so much guys. Next time he makes a comment, Im going to punch him in the face, quote waynes world and walk away looking fabulous. Haha.

Bless your heart! What a great response. Hey, listen here...you're a beautiful girl, not only on the outside but on the inside as well. OBVIOUSLY your boyfriend appreciates you for who you really are! Right? Okay then. This other douche - everyone's right, it's HIS problem! Perhaps he's got a hard on because you "took" his friend away, perhaps he has trouble at home, perhaps he can't get a girl as pretty as you are....the list goes on and on, babe.

Like the others said, Keep doing YOU. God made you special just the way you are. You have gifts and talents that are unique to you and you alone. You are already perfect. It's okay that we want to trim up our outsides, that's what brought us together on this site, but what's MOST important is how we treat others. Ya dig? You be a good girl, make good decisions, stay in school , and build your life the best way you know how.

All will be well.

Oh, yeah - and look good doin' it.

Have a nice day.

PlanetVelma

Just punch him in the face. It helps.

And then carry on losing weight.

Punch him in the face gets my vote!

grentea

He sounds gross! I wouldn't respond because he is not worth it. Just take the high road and continue doing you. Haters gonna hate! Lol

ThinLizzie0802

I think he has a crush on your boyfriend.

Fur. Realz.

LowcarbNY

You walk up to your boyfriend and say, loud enough for the jerk to be heard. " Wow, I can't believe that dumb moron is still on your team! What do you guys do with him? Do you use him as a tackling dummy? How does he even remember the snap count?

whitlisd

I had a tenant once who was mad at me that I kicked him out. While he was moving out and talking to his mother on the phone, I heard him say "Yeah, she's just sitting on the couch like Jabba The Hut". It hurts me to this day, but I realize that people like that are not worth the powder to blow them to hell. He was fat too, he had bad B.O. and was a complete slob. I think people that have no life get off on putting others down. It reflects how they feel about themselves, and probably mirrors how they were raised. Just like abuse, it's learned. Like someone else said, just use it as fuel. You know who you are and so does your boyfriend. That is all that matters.

MelStren

I think I'd say something along the lines of "at least I'm trying to improve my self, you appear to be afraid of mirrors"...

TyTy76

Just walk away..

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Tell your boyfriend that one of two things is going to happen:

1) Your boyfriend needs to set the guy straight, and not in the way that it sounds like you asked him to, but in the way that it's apparent it is not acceptible to him that the guy is disrespecting his girl. I'm all for sticking up for yourself, but our significant other's friends and faimily are their responsibility to keep straight.

2) if #1 doesn't happen, you're going to kick the guy in the taint.

junejadesky

He is jealous..... what a ****

_the_feniks_

Is your boyfriend the kicker? Because any real man would have told that guy off the last time. I'd be pissed at your boyfriend for not defending you.