Total jerk.

grimendale

Football players tend to be ignorant, viscious neanderthals with a tendency to lash out at others, particularly the weak or insecure, when they have a problem with themselves. I say this as someone who spent 9 years as a starting offensive lineman, so I got a front row seat to a lot of the cruelty. I take it as a badge of pride that most of the team didn't like me (the few exceptions were generally the only people worht getting to know). The only thing brutes like that understand is violence and insults, but it isn't worth it. I let things get to me more than once, and it only resulted in retaliation later with no resolution of the issue. Try to let it go. It might help to realize that most of them are headed nowhere in their lives. I went to my high school reunion recently, and none of the meatheads had amounted to anything or were at all happy with their lives. It seems that being viscious and small-minded is not conducive to career sucess.

retirehappy

A few days ago, I was going to a practice and the guy was there and saif to his friend loud enough for me to hear...."Wow. I cant believe he is still with that fat b*#$h".

BAM. Right in the confidence. I never get this upset about stupid comments and Im really a strong confident person but this guy....totally knocked me down and now i cant forget his comments.

How do you guys deal with jerks like that? I just feel so defeated.

Don't give your personal power way to a bully.

Your boyfriend is still with you because you are a wonderful person who he enjoys being with, which this guy is obviously not.
Who cares what some bully thinks?

MelissaBoydston82

Even if your boyfriend didn't say anything to him right after it happened, or didn't create a scene or whatever.....that's fine. He should have went to him later, alone, and very calmly told him to stfu.

AglaeaC

Everyone is saying where is the boyfirend but I think this woman is strong enough to fight her own battles and win.
Forget your bf and kick this guys *kitten*.

It isn't about whether I'm capable of defending myself or not, because I am; it is about my chosen one and his lack of having my back. This is small stuff compared to what could be happening and if a boyfriend is scared of even this amount of confrontation, then I'd have a serious discusion with him. Obviously switch out "I" for "OP".

ETA
And I would ignore the jerk, not worth anyone's time to react in any way on. He is air.

ETA2
I missed the part where an explanation had been given, so disregard the encouragement to have a talk with your boyfriend. The last thing you want to do though is let the jerk know that he got to you. Air... Not even eye contact. Nothing.

nyrina4life

I think he has a crush on your boyfriend.

Fur. Realz.

:laugh: I was going to say this or maybe he secretly has a thing for you.

I had an experience where a guy in school was a complete CREEP to me, and said some really harsh things. Then, when he saw me outside of school and none of his 'cool' friends were around, he was all nice to me. I just looked at him like he was pulling a Jackal and Hyde (sp):noway:

People are confusing, and if it is pure hate, ask yourself this, "Does his comments really matter?" Does HE really matter? If not, just move on and imagine the punching bag as his face.

zanne54

The question I'd be asking is why my boyfriend wasn't defending me against this guy?

The first time the guy made those comments my boyfriend didnt say anything. He just ignored the comment and said goodnight to everyone else. He was extremely mad and when we left he explained why he didnt say anything. His reasons were all legit and it didnt cause an issue between us. He said if comments like that were ever made again he would do something about it.

The second comment my boyfriend wasnt there to hear it. I didnt tell him it happened.

We both hate this guy for more reasons that just the comments he has made.
I didnt want to add fuel to a fire.

Tell your BF about these latest comments. It's definitely not you who is adding fuel to the fire; it's this doucheb*g. Most bullies are cowards, and turtle when confronted. I bet there are lots of other guys on the team who hate the DB as much as your BF does. Combined, they could make DB's life VERY unpleasant.

As for nasty comments from the DB again: have an arsenal of stock replies at the ready:

"I can lose weight, but you'll always be an assh*le"
"Wow, jealous much, that he picked me over you?
"I'm sorry your mommy didn't love you."
"That sounds like something you'd say."

I've dealt with bullies like this before - they're 99% cowards, and if you have a quicker, and sharper tongue than them, shaming them in front of their peers is a very effective deterrent.

And if all else fails: poo-handle his car. ALL the doors, and trunk handle.

_HeartsOnFire_

I'm from East Texas- and I like using that so-sweet-that- sugar-wouldn't-melt-in-your-mouth approach. Kill 'em with kindness. Call me a B? "why thank you, darling, same to you. have a nice day now, you hear?" Or just say what you want in the nicest way possible followed by "bless your heart" EX: "Why aren't you just a jealous little man with a small penis? Bless your heart."

LOVE IT!

sharonfoustmills

Oh man. Thank you so much guys. Next time he makes a comment, Im going to punch him in the face, quote waynes world and walk away looking fabulous. Haha.

ok, ha ha, you have a fabulous sense of humor! ignore him, like you said, he's just a jerk

Doodlewhopper

Your boyfriend needs a good ole fashion B-slap for allowing another comment to be made. I just cant believe he didnt support you.

ftballmom9296

I would say well sorry you feel that way it takes a real man to put down someone else's girlfriend or wife when you do not have either one yourself. And if you do I hope she dumps your arrogant *kitten* because she deserves someone much better than a man who would belittle a woman that his so called friend is in love with. Jealousy shows its evil face once again.

Doodlewhopper

I'm from East Texas- and I like using that so-sweet-that- sugar-wouldn't-melt-in-your-mouth approach. Kill 'em with kindness. Call me a B? "why thank you, darling, same to you. have a nice day now, you hear?" Or just say what you want in the nicest way possible followed by "bless your heart" EX: "Why aren't you just a jealous little man with a small penis? Bless your heart."

Respectfully maam; no offense meant, but the only thing that scares me worse than an angry Texas gal, is an angry East Texas gal! :flowerforyou: Hope I didnt ruffle your feathers or anything like that.....

lithezebra

The question I'd be asking is why my boyfriend wasn't defending me against this guy?

The first time the guy made those comments my boyfriend didnt say anything. He just ignored the comment and said goodnight to everyone else. He was extremely mad and when we left he explained why he didnt say anything. His reasons were all legit and it didnt cause an issue between us. He said if comments like that were ever made again he would do something about it.

The second comment my boyfriend wasnt there to hear it. I didnt tell him it happened.

We both hate this guy for more reasons that just the comments he has made.
I didnt want to add fuel to a fire.

I think you're wise not to make an issue of it, and not to lower yourself to the guy's level with snappy comebacks. It sounds like he has mental problems or cognitive deficits - concussions maybe? If you want to be proactive, say hello to him when you see him and use his name.

jeffd247

There's a lot of great replies on how you should ignore this comment, and how this dude is just a d-bag. They are all true.


However let me offer you another way to take this. Use it as fuel. Think about it when you work out or before you stray from your goals. Don't forget it, own it baby. Own it like he is your leetle beeotch.

Use your anger... let it flow through you. Channel your anger and together we can rule the GALAXY!!! MUAHHAHAHAHHA.

Or I mean.. stick to our MFP goals that is what I meant. Galaxy just slipped out.

EatClean_WashUrNuts

He's not a jerk for stating what he see. He knows little of who you are.

Your emotional interpretation and track record for seeking the negative within comments is allowing your perception to be heavily weighed as thus...

I see MANY positives from his comment that can be utilized to not only motivate, but bash him right back...You the mind for greater

jeffd247

He's not a jerk for stating what he see.

I don't think someone needs a "track record" to take being called a "fat **tch* as an insult, She should ignore you and listen to me. I need the attention anyways.

horrorstory

He's not a jerk for stating what he see.

I don't think someone needs a "track record" to take being called a "fat **tch* as an insult, She should ignore you and listen to me. I need the attention anyways.

edit because I read the original post wrong.
I dont have a track record with taking the negative out of situations. Im very positive, and always use bad situations to better myself. this is the first instance that has knock me off my feet so to speak.

nyboer

Walk up to him kinda shy like you are not sure you really want to talk to him. Ask him if you can talk. Then when he agrees, kick him in the ding-ding and say, "Yup your still have a pair. Next time use them if you got something to say about me and say it to my face". Then turn around and walk away like nothing happened...

Note: The above suggestion may, or may not, be based on real life experiences.

Oh. My. Gosh. Thank you for posting this!

krouse83

Just punch him in the face. It helps.

And then carry on losing weight.

^^^Best advice I've seen on the forums today.

cparter

First, if you were my woman and I was your man - me and that guy would have a serious heart to heart. Second, if I were you, I would let the guy know that what he is doing is a form of harrassment/bullying and you have not problem suing his silly but.

amandzor

Just punch him in the face. It helps.

And then carry on losing weight.

^^ Works every time.

Just to help the sting, I like to add that I'm fantastic in bed.