Total jerk.
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The question I'd be asking is why my boyfriend wasn't defending me against this guy?0
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You will lose weight and he will still be stupid and that is revenge in itself.
I feel the pain though. I am the youngest of 3 girls my sisters are twins, perfect blonde haired blue eyed twins. I grew up with the nickname chubby and around town I was known as the ugly Malone girl. It stings but you don't have to let it define you. I don't know you but I do know you are more than your weight.
I do question whether your boyfriend has genuine feelings for you if he is still friends with someone who talks to you like that. There are billions of men in this world and if we are ever to improve the species we women have to stop giving the goods away to the ones that aren't worthy of us.0 -
He's probably just jealous of your boyfriend :P
This is what I'm thinking...is the loser single? I bet he's uncomfortably attracted to you, or he has never had "normal" women in his life (tweens or wannabe pop starts love dating football players too you know). I bet your maturity and self confidence makes him uncomfortable and he's projecting. Next time you make direct eye contact with him...give him a nod like "I understand you don't quick fit your big boy panties" and keep walking. Your man obviously has enough confidence to brush it off. Don't let your insecurities escalate the problem. Fake it 'til you make it honey!
ETS: You're f*cking gorgeous my dear...don't let anyone steal your thunder.0 -
I used to wish I had a store of witty putdowns for things like him. But somehow they always manage to ridicule any response - even down to the childish ' woo woo woo woo' noises they tend to make when they have used their whole quota of words.
Now I stare at the person next to them and calmly and quietly ask 'do you know how stupid he makes you look?'
Normally gives them a bit of a pause for thought, during which I walk away.
As long as your bf despises him too you are OK. Ignore and move on.
Good luck with the weight loss.
OMG! I love this one!
I often say, "Jealous?" or "So?" or "Are you still in junior high?", but your comeback ROCKS!0 -
For an allegedly grown man to act that way is ridiculous. If he ever gets a girlfriend, be sure to go up to her and introduce yourself, then say, "It's really so sweet of you to date him, you know, after 'the accident'. Well, nice meeting you! Gotta go!" Make sure you drop your voice to a conspiratorial tone when you say, 'the accident' and refuse to ever discuss it further.
When I was in college, and about 20 pounds thinner then I am now, I was dating this guy and one night his "friend" was telling me all these dumb things about my guy. Nothing serious, just stupid things he had done when they were younger. My guy asked him later why he was doing that and friend said, "I was trying to save you from that fat girl!" Oh hell no. My roommate and I got his phone number and started leaving him messages like, "Kevin.....fat girls looooove you!" "Kevin, I'm slathered in bacon and cheese dreaming about you..." "Kevin, I want to rub my rolls on your balding head!"
Aaaaah...the days before caller ID!0 -
As my mother says, never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it. :laugh:
Shallow people judge their worth and the worth of others based on superficial things-- like appearance, physical fitness, or whether somebody wants to "party." You have no reason to defend yourself against this kind of bully--and make no mistake, that's what this is.
Frankly, there are always going to be jerks out there who say terrible things to denigrate folks.Some people have a special skill in finding what would be most hurtful. I pitty them, but I see no need to engage with them. Their words are nothing more than a fart in public. It stinks, it's rude, but ultimately, just gas. It's not your job to teach him manners or how to behave in polite society. Let him live his miserable life. The less you let this idiot get to you, the less power he has.
I don't give a flying fig what some jerk thinks about me and neither should you, but I do care about the opinion of those I respect and care about. THAT is the important question here. Rather than needing someone to defend your honor, I'd instead ask your boyfriend--nicely--how he thinks associating with someone who makes that kind of that kind of comment to someone he cares about reflects on his (your boyfriend's) character and values. I'd ask if he feels any sort of obligation to speak up and let the bully know that that sort of behavior has no place in civil conversation. Remember though, your boyfriend didn't make the comment, so don't treat him like he's guilty.
Good luck, and I'm sorry that you were hurt.0 -
Maybe the guy is on steroids and can't control himself. What a weirdo.0
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To be honest, if your boyfriend isn't sticking up for you, I'd have a serious problem with that myself. I've left guys over this kind of garbage. I am not shy and I am very confident in myself, but if you are going to disrespect me - women OR men alike- you better be ready to brace for the tsunami that's going to come tearing down your way! I do not take kindly to uncalled for rudeness or cowardly gestures.
People like this guy you are talking about are WEAK. You don't need WEAK people trying to bring you down. I wouldn't recommend it and you don't need to physically get in his face, but you can verbally squelch him until he's crying, literally.0 -
I had a tenant once who was mad at me that I kicked him out. While he was moving out and talking to his mother on the phone, I heard him say "Yeah, she's just sitting on the couch like Jabba The Hut". It hurts me to this day, but I realize that people like that are not worth the powder to blow them to hell. He was fat too, he had bad B.O. and was a complete slob. I think people that have no life get off on putting others down. It reflects how they feel about themselves, and probably mirrors how they were raised. Just like abuse, it's learned. Like someone else said, just use it as fuel. You know who you are and so does your boyfriend. That is all that matters.
At least Jabba the Hutt paid his rent on time.0 -
The question I'd be asking is why my boyfriend wasn't defending me against this guy?
I was asking myself this question. While I think its important that you be able to say something to the guy yourself, this is your boyfriend's teammate. Your man should have already stepped up and told the dude to shut the large toxic hole in his mouth. I'm sure if one of your friends had loudly and clearly asked why you're still with your boyfriend (in front of your boyfriend), you would have said something to her, right? Right.
Also, I'm not one for passive aggressiveness. It's not a good look. I vote to go up to the guy and ask him what his problem with you is. If you want to be seen as strong and confident, act it.
Good luck. This guy sounds insecure and childish. 0 -
I'm agreeing with the rest of the posters that are saying "where the hell is your boyfriend?" If anyone, even family, talk to me like that in front of my big strong man, *kitten* would fly. Same goes for me, I get up in people's faces (INCLUDING OUR KID'S FACE) when they're disrespecting my man. Nobody talks to the man I love like a piece of *kitten*. You need to set the record straight and stick up for yourself with your boyfriend.0
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Your hair's really pretty like that.I had a tenant once who was mad at me that I kicked him out. While he was moving out and talking to his mother on the phone, I heard him say "Yeah, she's just sitting on the couch like Jabba The Hut". It hurts me to this day, but I realize that people like that are not worth the powder to blow them to hell. He was fat too, he had bad B.O. and was a complete slob. I think people that have no life get off on putting others down. It reflects how they feel about themselves, and probably mirrors how they were raised. Just like abuse, it's learned. Like someone else said, just use it as fuel. You know who you are and so does your boyfriend. That is all that matters.
^ this illustrates what I want to say. Usually when someone makes a "fat insult" they are mad at you about something else. It's just the easy insult to make because it's readily visible, everyone can see it, and requires no explanation. Plus it hurts. If you were a racial minority it might have been a racial slur. I see you do your hair creative way's next time it might be that. If I told you to change your hair over this guy, would you? You'd be outraged and like THAT's how I like my hair and yada yada. Same goes for your weight. I'm not saying don't address it. I'm just saying don't do it for ppl like that or situations like that. One day he won't be there and then what will motivate you. Do it for all the other positive reasons that never go away and we don't want them too. Like your boyfriends smile when he sees u in that dress and etc.
Is it possible when the guy wanted to show your BF someone better he was planning to show him what's in his pants, because his behavior is weird? It seems from this limited myopic perspective that he may be after your boyfriend or you and in either case the best course of action is to ignore it and just keep your boyfriend informed of what he says so he's in the know and never made a chump by not knowing what goes on between you and the jerk, but also not demanding he do anything. It's his team, his teammmate, he has the coach in common and is aware all the dynamics and options, not you.
Finally look at it from the perspective of an onlooker, when the guy insulted you and you said nothing back, do you think any of his friends were like all hi fiving him to death or do you think they were like "oh damn, what a prick" or "he didn't have to go that far" or "what's his problem". If you come up with stellar replies you might end up giving him credibility.0 -
oh,,,,, I think I would find out where that guy lived,,,, and it would not go over well.0
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I had a tenant once who was mad at me that I kicked him out. While he was moving out and talking to his mother on the phone, I heard him say "Yeah, she's just sitting on the couch like Jabba The Hut". It hurts me to this day, but I realize that people like that are not worth the powder to blow them to hell. He was fat too, he had bad B.O. and was a complete slob. I think people that have no life get off on putting others down. It reflects how they feel about themselves, and probably mirrors how they were raised. Just like abuse, it's learned. Like someone else said, just use it as fuel. You know who you are and so does your boyfriend. That is all that matters.
At least Jabba the Hutt paid his rent on time.
:laugh: wha?:huh:0 -
The question I'd be asking is why my boyfriend wasn't defending me against this guy?
I was asking myself this question. While I think its important that you be able to say something to the guy yourself, this is your boyfriend's teammate. Your man should have already stepped up and told the dude to shut the large toxic hole in his mouth. I'm sure if one of your friends had loudly and clearly asked why you're still with your boyfriend (in front of your boyfriend), you would have said something to her, right? Right.
Also, I'm not one for passive aggressiveness. It's not a good look. I vote to go up to the guy and ask him what his problem with you is. If you want to be seen as strong and confident, act it.
Good luck. This guy sounds insecure and childish.
Maybe insulting the OP is this guy's way of bullying her boyfriend. Men do social bullying too, and if the BF is an easygoing guy who likes to avoid conflict, well those guys won't always speak up. However, that doesn't make them bad boyfriends. Actions, like leaving with your girlfriend, not changing your mind and going out with the guys, still speak louder than words.0 -
"I may be fat today (no clue if you are) ... but you'll always be ugly for forever."
punch him and walk away.
Or let your boyfriend do it- he seriously needs to step up. I"m quiet capable of handling this myself- my BF stepped up one time- and I was MORTIFIED- because he embarrassed me in front of the entire table of people/friends- but I got over it quiet quickly and was soon grateful knowing he wouldn't let anyone talk **** to me.0 -
Everyone is saying where is the boyfirend but I think this woman is strong enough to fight her own battles and win.
Forget your bf and kick this guys *kitten*.0 -
My dad used to scream at me about how fat I was. Apparently this makes someone of no value in his life. It doesn't matter that I'm successful, have a great family, and live a moral life. Nope, being fat isn't where it's at. It used to really crush me.
One day, he and I got into it and he started in on it again and I finally replied, calmly, "Really??! Calling me fat is all you've got? You can't find any other character flaws or defects to point out? Wow. I must be doing something right."
Then I shut up and he never tried it again.0 -
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poop on the hood of his car.0
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His comments say more about him than about you. He's the one with the problem. Feel sorry for him. Pity him. Hope he finds a way to be a better human being. Hope he finds a way to deal with whatever effed-up childhood he had that would make his self-esteem so low that he has to pick on other people.
Know, in your heart, that he's not attacking you; he's just really sad and angry.
You get to leave. He has to live with himself.
So THIS!! ^^^
People that feel bad about themselves usually say things about or to others to make themselves feel better. Don't even bother with him.......or waste your time "punching" him in the face. Violence doesn't solve anything.0 -
Just punch him in the face. It helps.
And then carry on losing weight.
This would be an effective method.0 -
Not everyone is always going to like you. It's pointless trying to figure out their reasons or motives, as long as you're happy with who you are and your choices, don't pay him no mind.
This....
No one's opinion of you matters about you, except YOU!!!!0 -
I think you are being easy on him calling him a total jerk. The loser isn't worthy of your worry or concern. If I were your BF, I'd set this guy straight and ask him to keep his friendship and comments to himself. Keep up the great work and remember that this deuche bag isn't the person you see in the mirror or wake up next to everyday.
Perfectly said0 -
My husband would not keep quiet if any man called me a b!tch0
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The comment "but I can loose weight there's no hope for your ignorant stupidity" comes to mind0
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Walk up to him kinda shy like you are not sure you really want to talk to him. Ask him if you can talk. Then when he agrees, kick him in the ding-ding and say, "Yup your still have a pair. Next time use them if you got something to say about me and say it to my face". Then turn around and walk away like nothing happened...
Note: The above suggestion may, or may not, be based on real life experiences.0 -
maybe he has a crush on you and is jealous your boyfriend has a hot girlfriend. that or he wants your boyfriend for himself.
either way he seems to be a child, so treat him as such, talk to him (if you have to) the same way you would talk to a toddler.0 -
A-holes abound. You get better at ignoring them with age, trust me. Just try not to let it turn you into the same. Ugly behavior sometimes has a way of breeding more ugliness despite our best intentions.0
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Maybe he's gay and wants you BF for himself...0
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