Lose weight = looking older??
Replies
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tirowow12385 wrote: »If you're older then you should look older, that's just how it works.
way to keep it real!
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tirowow12385 wrote: »If you're older then you should look older, that's just how it works.
Precisely. I'm going to be 42 in a few days. I believe I look my age. If I am told I look younger, I simply say, you're likely comparing me to younger people who live fast lives . Loathe age comparisons. Let me be me, thank you!8 -
I keep thinking this over and wondering: Why is it a problem to look older, especially when the concomitant effects are feeling younger, being healthier, creating a higher likelihood of living longer in independence and good health, being a better example of health and agency for those we love, and so many more positive things? (Rhetorical question, BTW, no need to answer.)
I understand that youthful appearance is a goal for many, but for myself I don't really get it. People say older women are more likely to be ignored, get worse service in businesses, etc. I very rarely see this . . . and believe me, when I do, I know how to make myself un-ignored pretty darned quickly.
Yeah, much-younger guys don't hit on me. I think it would be icky if they did, speaking only for myself. Guys my own age don't hit on me much, either, but that's fine: If a few wrinkles put them off, I don't need them in my life, because they're *baby-feline*heads. (IRL, I think my personality puts off more people than my appearance, actually.
).
I'd also add this, to people worrying about loose facial/neck skin at goal weight: Keep in mind that it can keep shrinking for a long time in maintenance, if it's true loose skin (thin wrinkles, not residual squish-y fat areas). Also, glycogen replenishment will create appearance improvements as well. I think my face/neck look better in year 3 of maintenance than they did in the first weeks at goal.
The youth-glorifying and youth-seeking in our culture really annoys me sometimes. Aging is good. Consider the actual alternative.
JMO.
Hear Hear!
Wrinkles and scars are badges of honor, so why would you hide these or attempt to minimize them?
Does society truly want to esteem aesthetics over wisdom? Are we prepared for the consequences of this?
Not everyone feels scars and wrinkles are badges of honor. My wrinkles I'm meh about. My scars are daily, constant reminders of the worst places I've been. I don't want to remember how shizzle my life is/was. I want to forget.
Sorry for being a b*tch about that, but it really irritates me to be told I should be proud of my scars because "you've been through so much" or "look at what you lived through".
I'm with you on this. Equally irritating is when people say, well your husband loves you the way you are, as if that were the only thing that mattered.4 -
I don't think many of those concerned believe there is something wrong with looking old/older so much as having a significant change over a relatively short period of time. I have a coworker that lost a significant amount of weight over a year and a half and her face looks almost 10 years older. She's fit, she's gorgeous, but she's uncomfortable with this "sudden" change and it has taken her time to adjust.13
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tirowow12385 wrote: »If you're older then you should look older, that's just how it works.
I always admire the people that can find peace with aging. For me however.....you will have to take my Botox from my cold dead brows!10 -
I've heard this many times and I just think this is the oddest way of thinking! It's all in your head. Some people associate a thinner face with age. But overall you will look younger when thinner. You will also FEEL younger and ACT younger because you have more energy.8
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I'm 65 and I've lost 34 kg. I look at my pre-loss photos and, yes, I look younger but I certainly looked fat and not healthy. I don't really believe that people constantly assess whether you look your age. For those who are seriously worried, there are options such as face lifts. I still have about 12 kg to lose and I'm so happy to be at this stage of my journey and am able to do things that my younger, obese self couldn't have contemplated.
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I've heard this many times and I just think this is the oddest way of thinking! It's all in your head. Some people associate a thinner face with age. But overall you will look younger when thinner. You will also FEEL younger and ACT younger because you have more energy.
...my new lines and wrinkles are all in my head? No, I assure you they are quite definitely on my face!
I look better, and I feel younger. But losing weight has definitely made me look older close-up. I can live with that.9 -
Yes, I definitely look older, partly because I AM older. It's been a few years and I don't look quite as bad as I did when I first lost the weight, there is some settling and softening that happens over time. I've also let my natural salt and pepper hair color grow out.
HOWEVER... my body looks younger. I feel orders of magnitude younger. I obviously don't care how old I look as evidenced by not caring about my hair color any more. My husband tells me that I look older than I used to but that I still look young for my age. I think that's an honest assessment. I'm 56 and look to be in my 40's.8 -
I'm not sure if this has been mentioned, but getting plenty of sleep may help some. Years ago, people used to use the term "beauty-sleep" and "beauty-rest", because it was a known fact that getting one's proper rest/sleep helped people look and feel more youthful and filled with more "vim and vigor". Getting proper amounts of sleep/rest is so good for us and not getting enough sleep/rest causes all kinds of ugh and yuck in our lives and thus the lives of those around us too--makes us all grouchy and invites stress/mess and woe. MAKING yourself get nice sleep and rest helps almost every area of our lives--inside and out. When I don't get my proper rest, my eyes can look "baggy and darker. I'm all discombobulated and just not on top of my game. One HAS TO make getting good sleep a priority in one's life. I believe this will help us not look as "old" too.5
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Wasn't it Coco Chanel who said that at some point every woman will have to choose between her face and her butt?
I'll be 50 in a few months. I'm letting my hair go grey so I can have it colored that trendy ash-grey color, and believe me, I do not always love it. I'm trying to lose the perimenopause wine belly. Not all things are good, to be honest. But I can tell you that when you hit my age, the difference between people who have taken care of themselves - in terms of exercise, nutrition, and generally healthy living - and people who haven't starts becoming really, really visible. I can deadlift over 200 pounds and do a backbend from a standing start, and I'm 15 years younger than my mother was when she died of old age. When I look at old videotapes of her at my age, she moves more painfully and awkwardly than my dad and his wife do at 75+.
If you lose a lot of weight, you will get more wrinkles and it will suck. But (a) you may come through and look better on the other side, and (b) there's always laser treatments or fillers. There are no laser treatments or fillers to treat a lifetime of letting your body go to seed.9 -
I look older when I loose weight. I think it's more pronounced as you age. You loose the volume in your face so you tend to look more haggard/hollow/tired etc. I recently put on a few pounds and had a lot of complements about how good I looked-that my face looked like I had more color.4
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I've been following this thread and have found it interesting how many replies have been railing against someone worrying about how old they look instead of health. OP in no way suggested she was upset about it, in fact she said she chose health over looking younger regardless, and just wanted to see what others thought.
I don't think you can really generalize the answer of whether losing weight makes you look older or younger. I suspect that someone losing weight past 35 or so when your skin starts to lose it's elasticity and your collagen production slows down will possibly look more "drawn" than someone who loses weight at a younger age. There will also be personal differences in how losing weight affects how someone lives their life and approaches their relationships, which will affect how they see themselves.
IMHO there is nothing wrong with a little vanity, as long as it doesn't cause you to make stupid decisions. You can have all your priorities straight and be proud and accepting of your past, and spend some of your mad money on an anti-aging night cream or some Botox. And I don't think there is anything wrong with someone who lost a lot of weight deciding to gain back 5 or 10 lbs because they liked how they looked better at that weight. There is actually some support for the idea that people over a certain age might be healthier at the high end of the healthy weight range, or even a tick or two above.
OP, how long have you been at your lower weight? I wonder if it just takes some time for everything to settle in properly
I do think it's possible that at least for some people, excess fat delays the more obvious outward signs of aging by filling everything out a little! 13 -
@kimny72 thanks for your comments, I've actually been maintenance for over 5 years but in the last 2 years dropped a further 10lbs very slowly to get to my dream goal weight of 124-125lbs (and that's not that light when you're only 5ft 2). That coupled with being older has probably took its toll on my looks a bit but I feel great and I feel I look better than the majority of people my age. I'm the same weight I was when I got married 30 years ago
I'm proud of that. - it looked good on me then and I think I still look good, at least I have the fit and healthy part covered
And as much as I love to dress well and have my hair and makeup sorted, I won't be going down the route of botox or anti aging creams. Each to their own eh 7 -
LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »Hi all,
I have to say I think I look older now than when I was heavier, less fat to puff out the wrinkles I suppose! (I'm 49). I choose being slim and healthy so if a side effect is looking a bit older that's just how it has to be.
I have noticed from the majority of the before/after photos hardly anyone looks younger with weight off (unless they are young of course!).
Anyway, just putting this out there for opinions/thoughts.
Ruth
Doesn't change for me. When I got to goal at age 40 I was constantly told I looked in my early 20s. I still get told I look like I'm in my 20s and right now I'm at 155 lbs and just turned 50 years old. Just started back. I look young because of my genes not how much weight I have on me.2 -
I'll take looking older over dying younger any time.13
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well I can say one plus of getting older Im losing my belly fat so not going to complain there lol4
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Just turned 50...I have lost about 25 lbs since April. I am 5'4" and was 181 at the end of March..now I am 155. I think I will at the most lose another 5 lbs...my initial goal was to get to 145 however I think to be at 5 or 10 lbs overweight is not that big of a deal and you can still have a half decent figure as well as be in shape.
I remember seeing a girl I used to work with a few years back after not seeing her for about a year and she is about 1 year older than me and she lost a lot of weight and onething that stands out in my mind was how her face aged...I remember thinking wow she looks like she is 10 years older.
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I knew a woman in her 70s who dropped about 50 pounds in late middle age. She then kept herself intentionally underweight in a super model sort of way so she looked chic in her herringbone ensembles. Her facial bone structure was severe and her hair was pure white and gathered in an elegant chignon. She was ruthless and androgenous looking and it was exciting to be around her. Her neck was stringy but not turkeyesque. I think that fact lent to her commanding presence.
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I've heard this many times and I just think this is the oddest way of thinking! It's all in your head. Some people associate a thinner face with age. But overall you will look younger when thinner. You will also FEEL younger and ACT younger because you have more energy.
...my new lines and wrinkles are all in my head? No, I assure you they are quite definitely on my face!
I look better, and I feel younger. But losing weight has definitely made me look older close-up. I can live with that.
Your post didn’t mention lines or wrinkles or anything specific that you felt makes you look older. You might just be noticing those features more since you’re probably scrutinizing your looks more closely, looking for evidence of weight loss.
Many people have complimented me on my looks after losing weight (150) beginning st 59. I’ve gotten many comments on my progress pics that I look so much younger now. Not a single person has remotely suggested I look older. I’m no beauty queen and have my share of wrinkles too.6 -
I've heard this many times and I just think this is the oddest way of thinking! It's all in your head. Some people associate a thinner face with age. But overall you will look younger when thinner. You will also FEEL younger and ACT younger because you have more energy.
...my new lines and wrinkles are all in my head? No, I assure you they are quite definitely on my face!
I look better, and I feel younger. But losing weight has definitely made me look older close-up. I can live with that.
Your post didn’t mention lines or wrinkles or anything specific that you felt makes you look older. You might just be noticing those features more since you’re probably scrutinizing your looks more closely, looking for evidence of weight loss.
Many people have complimented me on my looks after losing weight (150) beginning st 59. I’ve gotten many comments on my progress pics that I look so much younger now. Not a single person has remotely suggested I look older. I’m no beauty queen and have my share of wrinkles too.
It's true we tend to focus only on the things we dislike about our appearance, whereas others see the whole person. But, I also think it's unlikely anyone who would say, my god you look so much older. Unless they're incredibly rude!3 -
I think I looked more “mature” when I was obese/overweight. Added some pix for comparison (no filters) and here’s my weight in each pic:
Upper left 209 lbs
Lower left 189 lbs
Upper right 164 lbs
Lower right 167 lbs
I’ve been maintaining around 167 lbs for 5 years (height 5’11”) and I just turned 44 last week. Health is my number one priority and feeling like my body is strong and capable is the goal I strive for. I’ll gladly accept the wrinkles that occur as the result of a life well lived
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monkeefan1974 wrote: »I think I looked more “mature” when I was obese/overweight. Added some pix for comparison (no filters) and here’s my weight in each pic:
Upper left 209 lbs
Lower left 189 lbs
Upper right 164 lbs
Lower right 167 lbs
I’ve been maintaining around 167 lbs for 5 years (height 5’11”) and I just turned 44 last week. Health is my number one priority and feeling like my body is strong and capable is the goal I strive for. I’ll gladly accept the wrinkles that occur as the result of a life well lived
Mmm... no, you look older on the right side - top especially.14 -
comptonelizabeth wrote: »I've heard this many times and I just think this is the oddest way of thinking! It's all in your head. Some people associate a thinner face with age. But overall you will look younger when thinner. You will also FEEL younger and ACT younger because you have more energy.
...my new lines and wrinkles are all in my head? No, I assure you they are quite definitely on my face!
I look better, and I feel younger. But losing weight has definitely made me look older close-up. I can live with that.
Your post didn’t mention lines or wrinkles or anything specific that you felt makes you look older. You might just be noticing those features more since you’re probably scrutinizing your looks more closely, looking for evidence of weight loss.
Many people have complimented me on my looks after losing weight (150) beginning st 59. I’ve gotten many comments on my progress pics that I look so much younger now. Not a single person has remotely suggested I look older. I’m no beauty queen and have my share of wrinkles too.
It's true we tend to focus only on the things we dislike about our appearance, whereas others see the whole person. But, I also think it's unlikely anyone who would say, my god you look so much older. Unless they're incredibly rude!
I agree with that, but people will certainly say it to each other when you're gone!
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vvyldvvitch wrote: »monkeefan1974 wrote: »I think I looked more “mature” when I was obese/overweight. Added some pix for comparison (no filters) and here’s my weight in each pic:
Upper left 209 lbs
Lower left 189 lbs
Upper right 164 lbs
Lower right 167 lbs
I’ve been maintaining around 167 lbs for 5 years (height 5’11”) and I just turned 44 last week. Health is my number one priority and feeling like my body is strong and capable is the goal I strive for. I’ll gladly accept the wrinkles that occur as the result of a life well lived
Mmm... no, you look older on the right side - top especially.
I’m wearing the least amount of makeup in that pic, I wonder if that makes a difference!
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vvyldvvitch wrote: »comptonelizabeth wrote: »I've heard this many times and I just think this is the oddest way of thinking! It's all in your head. Some people associate a thinner face with age. But overall you will look younger when thinner. You will also FEEL younger and ACT younger because you have more energy.
...my new lines and wrinkles are all in my head? No, I assure you they are quite definitely on my face!
I look better, and I feel younger. But losing weight has definitely made me look older close-up. I can live with that.
Your post didn’t mention lines or wrinkles or anything specific that you felt makes you look older. You might just be noticing those features more since you’re probably scrutinizing your looks more closely, looking for evidence of weight loss.
Many people have complimented me on my looks after losing weight (150) beginning st 59. I’ve gotten many comments on my progress pics that I look so much younger now. Not a single person has remotely suggested I look older. I’m no beauty queen and have my share of wrinkles too.
It's true we tend to focus only on the things we dislike about our appearance, whereas others see the whole person. But, I also think it's unlikely anyone who would say, my god you look so much older. Unless they're incredibly rude!
I agree with that, but people will certainly say it to each other when you're gone!
Sure.
Here's the thing, though: There are a couple of giant threads over in the "Success Stories" part of the forums. Can't link them from this device, but they're called something like "Photo Only Success Stories" and "Before and After Face Edition".
In those threads, over and over and over, total strangers comment things like "you look so much younger" and "you could be your own son/daughter". So many! They wouldn't have to say anything. But they say that. Why? Because it's so obviously, literally true.
Do a few people look older? Sure. (I think I do. Don't care.) But most people, IMO, look the same age or younger - at varied chronological ages.10 -
vvyldvvitch wrote: »comptonelizabeth wrote: »I've heard this many times and I just think this is the oddest way of thinking! It's all in your head. Some people associate a thinner face with age. But overall you will look younger when thinner. You will also FEEL younger and ACT younger because you have more energy.
...my new lines and wrinkles are all in my head? No, I assure you they are quite definitely on my face!
I look better, and I feel younger. But losing weight has definitely made me look older close-up. I can live with that.
Your post didn’t mention lines or wrinkles or anything specific that you felt makes you look older. You might just be noticing those features more since you’re probably scrutinizing your looks more closely, looking for evidence of weight loss.
Many people have complimented me on my looks after losing weight (150) beginning st 59. I’ve gotten many comments on my progress pics that I look so much younger now. Not a single person has remotely suggested I look older. I’m no beauty queen and have my share of wrinkles too.
It's true we tend to focus only on the things we dislike about our appearance, whereas others see the whole person. But, I also think it's unlikely anyone who would say, my god you look so much older. Unless they're incredibly rude!
I agree with that, but people will certainly say it to each other when you're gone!
Probably 0 -
Not always.. There are many factors involved.. In my family (mother’s side) for example all the females look younger when thin and older when weight has been gained whether they are young or old. So far this has held true for me as well.0
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I honestly think this is one of those mileage varying things and whether any given individual ends up looking younger or older after losing weight depends on a host of different factors. So, some look younger, some look older, and some just look different.7
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I think the chubby cheeks can make some look cute ,while the thin face can look fierce. Not on everyone , but I’ve seen some thin women that scare me because they look so boney..... we are are own worst critics and whoever created the mirror should be shot 🤔4
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