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Have you been both overweight and underweight?

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  • beckyrplbeckyrpl Posts: 67Member Member Posts: 67Member Member
    I've been both overweight and underweight. Growing up I was underweight - I was active, I ate healthy. After college I taught in a bad part of NYC - hated my job, hated my commute - ate my emotions. Several people commented on how great it was that I was pregnant - I wasn't pregnant - I was chubby...it was devastatingly embarrassing. My Mother-In-Law asked me to join Jenny Craig with her - I lost all of the weight plus some - and for about 15+ years suffered from anorexia. I got many comments about how great I looked - you could see my ribs. I did get many comments out of concern - I disregarded those comments - at that time, I really felt all-powerful over my eating (or lack-there-of). I'd have to say the pregnant comments when I was overweight were more hurtful to me - but you have to understand, when I was anorexic, I didn't have a logical way of processing people's comments who were concerned over how thin I was (if this makes sense).
  • MotorsheenMotorsheen Posts: 15,366Member Member Posts: 15,366Member Member
    steveko89 wrote: »
    @jellyybeanz, you can never know what sort of history, insecurity, or personal baggage someone is carrying to broad-brush state that fat-shaming is "worse" than skinny shaming. Being insecure about one's body and having others comment negatively isn't fun, regardless of the circumstance. You're gatekeeping being body shamed as something only a problem for fat people and that's simply not the case.

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  • mavivaldimavivaldi Posts: 2Member Member Posts: 2Member Member
    Skinny shaming can be just as hurtful as fat shaming (I speak from experience). Often-times, skinny or underweight people are told that they are “sick” or “unhealthy”, when in reality they may have a perfectly good relationship with food and be in perfect health, but their metabolism and genetics make them thin. In any case, it’s wrong to fat or skinny shame unless the person is clearly unhealthy (ie. a morbidly underweight or obese person).
  • glovepuppetglovepuppet Posts: 1,743Member Member Posts: 1,743Member Member
    Skinny shaming also comes with a "she thinks she's all that!". You're assumed to be vain, and you're assumed to feel superior to fat people.

    Nobody ever assumed I was looking down on them when I was chubby.
  • FibroHikerFibroHiker Posts: 268Member Member Posts: 268Member Member
    I was both overweight and very skinny as a teenager (probably not underweight). Entering into puberty I was 5' 3" and weighed 145 pounds. Overtime, through participating in PE and dancing I lost quite a bit of weight. Plus I grew in inches. At the end of puberty when I reached my full adult height of 5' 7" I weighed 120 lbs. That's pretty skinny.

    No one remarked when I was overweight. I did get lots of people who remarked when I was thin. It only bothered me because at the time, I'd hear all these people telling me I was so skinny, but I had the typical teenage girl thoughts that I wasn't skinny enough.

    Later in life it's been pretty much the same. There have been times in my life when I have weighed as much as 185 lbs. and times when I have weighed 128 pounds. No one says anything when I have been overweight but they sure comment when they have noticed I have lost weight.
  • Spite70Spite70 Posts: 15Member Member Posts: 15Member Member
    I had been overweight throughout my whole childhood and I must say that the comments I received when I was overweight shaped the entire way I viewed my body.

    Now, people tell me to stop losing weight or to eat some food because I'm "too skinny" or they ask my friends if I'm anorexic, even though I'm at a normal bmi (20.7) and don't have much muscle mass, so I look kinda pudgy too. I look heavier than many of my peers but since I used to be a lot bigger, I get to be called names like "walking board" and "beanpole".

    I don't mind the comments now because I have worked to lose weight so that I can be proud of the body I am in now. I would have to say that it affected me worse when the comments were about me being overweight. This may be down to the fact that I was younger and more impressionable when I received these comments though.
  • k8eekinsk8eekins Posts: 2,183Member Member Posts: 2,183Member Member
    What do you think is more offensive, people commenting about you being too big or people commenting about you being too skinny? I’m neither overweight or underweight but I don’t think “skinny shaming” could ever compare to the abuse that fat kids and adults receive. Being skinny is still praised worldwide and even if you wanted to change that, gaining weight is much easier than losing it. What are your thoughts?

    Having been both underweight and mega-obese, I discovered that when skinny many idealised everything about it, never once considering what it reflected and the sacrifices (training, dietary restrictions, always having to travel, expectations), always in a solid autumn or winter lengthy cardigan or a walking cloak-like shawl. At my heaviest (859 lbs), I was referred to as "the billboard" because I'd gotten to a point where I was simply that much more largesse than anyone expected to see in real life. My experience during some ladies get-together lunches and teas with my Mum's friends weighing < 400 lbs, would develop where they would each direct every conversation to inject any diet fad they each felt was something I should consider. Even placing my order at the Clubhouse apparently was an open invitation, where they would each suggest what I should or should not have at each course. As I reflect on it, I was already very restrictive with my intake, where many here on this very Board alerted to my activity of choice (its duration) as excessive.

    Skinny, few gossiped. Mega-obese ---> Healthy weight ---> Fit weight, my sister's and I's commitment to dropping excess weight, influenced our city to install comfortable benches throughout, in support of outdoor activity and fitness. Thinking on it, as a freight-weight heavy person, I was walking ambitious distances, not once concerned that our city didn't have spots available for anyone to take a pause.
    edited July 19
  • Lynzdee18Lynzdee18 Posts: 501Member Member Posts: 501Member Member
    In 2017 I lost just over 60 pounds, getting to a BMI of 20-21. I’m 5’10, now 63 years old. I’d struggled for years and folks were used to me on the fluffy side. When I saw acquaintances after returning to our winter home, sizes smaller, some asked if I was ill. Others, mostly the guys, told me to eat a sandwich. Needless to say, my thoughts were MYOB. Because I am a nice person I didn’t say the things I wanted to say..... but I was boiling inside. Thankfully my husband was quick to the draw, saying I think she looks pretty fine!

    I’m not sure why some people think they have the right to talk about issues like a person’s weight.... to me it’s sort of like talking religion and politics....
  • psychod787psychod787 Posts: 2,770Member, Premium Member Posts: 2,770Member, Premium Member
    Yes I have.....
  • rheddmobilerheddmobile Posts: 4,712Member Member Posts: 4,712Member Member
    When I was underweight as a teenager (BMI about 17, naturally thin due to being very active) I was regularly praised for my appearance and was a catalog model and local trunk show model. The only negative comments about my body I received when underweight was from one guy telling me I needed to lose more weight if I wanted to wear a bikini and that my stomach was too flabby. In fact all my normal weight friends felt they were fat and that the one girl in our group of friends who actually was anorexic looked the way they wanted to look.

    When I was morbidly obese I never received any negative comments, although in my opinion they would have been warranted as I feel that I looked pretty bad. Obesity doesn’t look good on me as my facial features lose any structure. My mother sometimes expressed a desire for me to lose weight, but that was based on her concern for my health, not my appearance. Despite being very heavy with a giant belly I had guys hold doors for me and otherwise act approving of my appearance.

    I don’t think I’m unusually attractive, but I am fairly tall and I’ve been told other people find me intimidating. Maybe that’s why people don’t usually make rude remarks about my appearance to me.
  • rednote49rednote49 Posts: 124Member Member Posts: 124Member Member
    I've been on both ends of the scale. I remember getting comments from family members that I couldn't wear certain clothes because I was too skinny. But the level of criticism I get for being overweight is worse. Because random people and family members think it's ok to discuss my weight. like fatness gives people freedom to comment about another person's body.
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