An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
Clarisse_McClellan
Posts: 44 Member
Sometimes, I realize I'm stupider than I've been giving myself credit for. Today was one of those days. I looked at my pace on Map My Fitness and saw I was going at 16.5 minutes per mile. And I thought to myself, "That's too slow. How am I going to walk 3 miles in an hour (my goal for today's walk) if I'm going this slow?" (Please note: At that pace, I'd have logged three miles in about 50 minutes. So, I was actually right on pace.)
I started walking a bit faster, and, to my dismay, the number went down to 16.3 minutes per mile. And I was walking alone, so there was no one to point out to me what an idiot I am. I finally slowed myself way down when I realized I'd already covered 2 miles but still had 25 minutes left to walk, but, yeah. I don't math too well.
I started walking a bit faster, and, to my dismay, the number went down to 16.3 minutes per mile. And I was walking alone, so there was no one to point out to me what an idiot I am. I finally slowed myself way down when I realized I'd already covered 2 miles but still had 25 minutes left to walk, but, yeah. I don't math too well.
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I can't say much. I once sat at a green light furious that it wasn't turning red so I could go.
Laughing at yourself in those situations is a good thing. I definitely do not want to be one of those people that takes themselves too seriously.
ETA: Oh and it was one of those stop lights that has the sensor so while my vehicle was sitting on it, it stayed green. This went on for an embarrassingly long time because it was 2am and there was no one behind me to honk at my lack of movement.29 -
I thought it was just hilarious, wanted to share my stupidity with the world!
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Just a few weeks ago I had a dirty towel in one hand and an eggshell in the other, and in the same motion I dropped the towel into the trash and tossed the eggshell down the hall towards the laundry - it happens to all of us!24
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LOL that was a good one
All of the above have been great
The other day I was trying to call the lift at work with my swipe access card instead of pressing the button. And I was wondering why the panel thingy wasn't lighting up to show the lift was called.
I got quite grumpy at the lift.
Until I realised I was the one who was being an idiot, not the lift... Lucky it was before 9am so there were no people around to see how brilliant I was being.
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Earlier today, I sent someone a gif with Danny DeVito in it. They said, they love DD. I was like, "What's DD?" They were like, "...are you kidding?" before spelling it out to me.6
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I get visual migraines sometimes. As much as I enjoy them, I don't enjoy how stupid I get afterward. Last week I had one, and one symptom I get occasionally is that I feel taller. After the migraine went away and I could see properly again, I hopped on the internet browsing tall pants annoyed that I have to change my whole wardrobe. Mind you I was back to my "normal height" when I did this and I was fully aware that I was having perception distortions when they were happening.12
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FinntheVeggie wrote: »Just a few weeks ago I had a dirty towel in one hand and an eggshell in the other, and in the same motion I dropped the towel into the trash and tossed the eggshell down the hall towards the laundry - it happens to all of us!
I did this exact thing today, tossed a dirty towel into the trash. 2 -
Cardio increased blood flow to the brain and (eventually) led to clarity of thought. That's a good outcome.0
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I've told this one before, but I was watching the summer olympics once (I was up super early in the morning because I was having trouble sleeping, which is perhaps an excuse) and especially interested in the longer running events since I'd been training for my first olympic distance tri and also doing a bunch of running races. I turned on one that seemed interesting, noted that it was 5000 meters, and then started going about my American way of figuring out what that translated to in distances I was used to. I happened to know (not sure why) that there are 5280 feet per mile, and that a meter is close to a yard (from swimming pool distances), and of course that there are three feet in a yard, so I determined that it was roughly 3 miles before it hit me -- 5000 meters is the same as 5 kilometers. It's a 5K! D'oh!15
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Oh, another one I have weird issues with -- I have lots of calls with people in Eastern time, but I'm in Central. For some reason I'll find myself thinking 9 Eastern, so 10 Central, when it's the opposite. For some reason my mind wants to translate "we are an hour behind" to "it will be an hour later here." I usually catch myself, but have gotten confused about the timing of planned things on occasion.2
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At work I got on the elevator on the 6 th floor needing to go down to the 1st floor. I punched #6 and the doors opened again.......after doing this twice I realized what I was doing...duh. I played it off as being a long day to the audience that had gathered.7
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I've told this one before, but I was watching the summer olympics once (I was up super early in the morning because I was having trouble sleeping, which is perhaps an excuse) and especially interested in the longer running events since I'd been training for my first olympic distance tri and also doing a bunch of running races. I turned on one that seemed interesting, noted that it was 5000 meters, and then started going about my American way of figuring out what that translated to in distances I was used to. I happened to know (not sure why) that there are 5280 feet per mile, and that a meter is close to a yard (from swimming pool distances), and of course that there are three feet in a yard, so I determined that it was roughly 3 miles before it hit me -- 5000 meters is the same as 5 kilometers. It's a 5K! D'oh!
I’ve done that. A friend from college is a serious hardcore runner, and she was walking about a meet where she’d done 5000. I was wondering what the distance was, but didn’t want to sound stupid, so was just head tilting. It took me way longer than it should to realize that she’s done a 5K.2 -
I've told this one before, but I was watching the summer olympics once (I was up super early in the morning because I was having trouble sleeping, which is perhaps an excuse) and especially interested in the longer running events since I'd been training for my first olympic distance tri and also doing a bunch of running races. I turned on one that seemed interesting, noted that it was 5000 meters, and then started going about my American way of figuring out what that translated to in distances I was used to. I happened to know (not sure why) that there are 5280 feet per mile, and that a meter is close to a yard (from swimming pool distances), and of course that there are three feet in a yard, so I determined that it was roughly 3 miles before it hit me -- 5000 meters is the same as 5 kilometers. It's a 5K! D'oh!
I JUST had a stupid moment reading this post. I was distracted, reading and opening a food package at the same time, and thought, hmm, a 50k. No excuse because I think in meters so I'm supposed to get it.4 -
At work I got on the elevator on the 6 th floor needing to go down to the 1st floor. I punched #6 and the doors opened again.......after doing this twice I realized what I was doing...duh. I played it off as being a long day to the audience that had gathered.
During my first trip to France, I wandered around the wrong floor for several minutes thinking I was lost before I realized "1" isn't the ground floor as those of us in the US are used to, but rather the 1st floor.. above Ground Floor, Level Zero. I blame it on an overnight flight and zero sleep.3 -
I have totally done the thing where you think a garlic "clove" is the whole garlic in a pasta recipe and all you can taste is garlic for a few days. It was still good, though.12
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RelCanonical wrote: »I have totally done the thing where you think a garlic "clove" is the whole garlic in a pasta recipe and all you can taste is garlic for a few days. It was still good, though.
The first recipe I ever made in my parents new bread machine about 25 years ago was a jalapeno cheddar bread with two cloves of garlic. Imagine how bad, bad, horrible this bread turned out when I used two whole bulbs!8 -
RelCanonical wrote: »I have totally done the thing where you think a garlic "clove" is the whole garlic in a pasta recipe and all you can taste is garlic for a few days. It was still good, though.
The first recipe I ever made in my parents new bread machine about 25 years ago was a jalapeno cheddar bread with two cloves of garlic. Imagine how bad, bad, horrible this bread turned out when I used two whole bulbs!
A new meaning to garlic bread.4 -
So that's why a clove of garlic is like 1000 calories on MFP.22
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These threads are fun - we all do these things. It's good to remind ourselves not to take it all so seriously.1
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amusedmonkey wrote: »I get visual migraines sometimes. As much as I enjoy them, I don't enjoy how stupid I get afterward. Last week I had one, and one symptom I get occasionally is that I feel taller. After the migraine went away and I could see properly again, I hopped on the internet browsing tall pants annoyed that I have to change my whole wardrobe. Mind you I was back to my "normal height" when I did this and I was fully aware that I was having perception distortions when they were happening.
Gotta love the Alice in wonderland side effect...0 -
suzannesimmons1 wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »I get visual migraines sometimes. As much as I enjoy them, I don't enjoy how stupid I get afterward. Last week I had one, and one symptom I get occasionally is that I feel taller. After the migraine went away and I could see properly again, I hopped on the internet browsing tall pants annoyed that I have to change my whole wardrobe. Mind you I was back to my "normal height" when I did this and I was fully aware that I was having perception distortions when they were happening.
Gotta love the Alice in wonderland side effect...
Mine is not as pronounced as how typically people describe it, I just feel a little bit taller, like an average tall woman. Nothing spectacular. It's the light show that I really enjoy.3 -
I usually watch TV in the evening with the landline phone next to me so I can block robocalls when they ring through (losing battle). No matter where I put it I end up trying to control the TV with it at some point.7
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I've tried to use my car's push-button unlocking thingie to open my back door, and my rural-style post-mounted mailbox. FTR, it doesn't work.
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I usually watch TV in the evening with the landline phone next to me so I can block robocalls when they ring through (losing battle). No matter where I put it I end up trying to control the TV with it at some point.
Oh yes I once tried to turn TV on, didn't work, put new batteries in remote control, still didn't work, went to ask my husband to see if he could fix it - der, he said, that's the air con control
Not to mention the numerous times I have complained something isn't working or my phone isn't charging or some such - and der, it isn't plugged in
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I've tried to use my car's push-button unlocking thingie to open my back door, and my rural-style post-mounted mailbox. FTR, it doesn't work.
This reminds me, I've tried to swipe my finger against paper books to turn the page. I've also tried to poke the screen of my laptop to click on something. Obviously, I'm a little too used to my phone screen! 9 -
I've tried to swipe to turn the page on a book, then realize it's a real book not my kindle. Also, last week I took the last fabric softener sheet out of the box, then threw the box in the dryer, started it up...and then noticed I still had the sheet in my hand lol13
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I went hiking in high winds last month, and spent ten minutes being painfully whipped around the face by my own rucksack chest strap before it occurred to me to... tuck it into something...6
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It doesn't look like you're stupid at all, just that you forgot to do the math until, well later on. You just assumed 16.5 minutes per mile was too slow to cover three miles. Keyword there, assumption. Once you proactively try to assume less and less of anything in life, you will find that you're thoughtful and intelligent. Go ahead.11
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tirowow12385 wrote: »It doesn't look like you're stupid at all, just that you forgot to do the math until, well later on. You just assumed 16.5 minutes per mile was too slow to cover three miles. Keyword there, assumption. Once you proactively try to assume less and less of anything in life, you will find that you're thoughtful and intelligent. Go ahead.
Or the lesson here is that no matter how smart you are you will do and think stupid things from time to time. It is not a bad thing to be humbled as long as you can laugh it off. We should probably all assume less but I doubt that will fix those moments when we inexplicably become the mental equivalent of a garden tool.
Also, sometimes people say things to be heard not to be fixed.
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