Frienemies

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Replies

  • babyluthi
    babyluthi Posts: 285 Member
    Do any of you have "frienemies"? I have one. She can be fun to hang out with - but she is often snarky and makes hurtful comments. The first week of logging my food - we had a birthday celebration for her husband at Chili's. I was determined to eat better, while still enjoying myself, so I researched before I went to know exactly what I would order.

    While at the restaurant, I ordered with my hubby the 2 for 20. I chose the flatbread pizza for the appetizer for hubby and I to split (a yummy splurge) and then chose the low cal sirloin with broccoli. She kept making comments on how I was on a "diet". This bothered me, but I shrugged it off stating I was being careful because I knew I would get popcorn at the theater.

    They ordered cheese fries for their appetizer. While I was enjoying my pizza (literally savoring each bite...it was sooo good) - she actually put a huge forkful of cheese fries in MY FACE!!! She kept waving it in front of me and was like "you sure you don't want any...they are sooo good". It took her husband to tell her to stop being mean for her to quit.

    This has made me seriously question the state of our "friendship". I use to be able to discount her behavior and excuse it - but this was really over-the-top. Your thoughts?

    She is not your friend. If she has always been like this... she has never actually been your friend.
    Go out and find some nice genuine real friends. Don't settle for less, you are worth much more than that.
  • ShadeyC
    ShadeyC Posts: 315 Member
    Then I realized that some people just aren't happy when you mess up what they perceive to be the social order.

    This this THIS^^^ I love this. You are so right.

    Truth
  • babyluthi
    babyluthi Posts: 285 Member
    I can think of a quick way for you to drop a 100 plus pounds :wink: :laugh:

    Seriously life is too short to hang out with asshats!

    Starting to feel that way. The only complication is that my hubby and her hubby have been best friends since high school. That is how I came to meet her in the first place. Ugh!

    That is okaky, they can go and do stuff together like fishing, hunting, doing whatever. It really doesn't HAVE to include the girls.
  • ShadeyC
    ShadeyC Posts: 315 Member
    Buy a bottle of ...

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  • babyluthi
    babyluthi Posts: 285 Member
    Alright, alright. Before you "just break up" with your friend, take a step back and look at the big picture. You just started your diet a week ago, which is awesome, but it hasn't been that long. Since it's so new, maybe your friend just doesn't quite understand the commitment level and the reasons behind your choice.

    I would give this a pass, but sit down with her one and one and talk it out. Let her know you are really trying to get healthy and that, if she's a good friend, she will encourage you on your journey.

    It's always better to have a real, honest conversation then to just assume she's derailing you on purpose.

    Of course, if it continues after that, kindly let her know that you won't be joining her for meals anymore until she can respect your boundaries.

    This is really great advice except the op said:

    "This has made me seriously question the state of our "friendship". I use to be able to discount her behavior and excuse it -"

    Sounds like her behaviour is ongoing already.
  • ShadeyC
    ShadeyC Posts: 315 Member
    Personally I'm uncomfortable with friends that aren't abusive. The 'nice' ones are so fake. The really hurtful ones remind me of home. If anyone is horribly cruel please send me an FR.

    You'd fit right in with my chosen family. And then leave as fast as you came ;)
    We call it, The Might of Repelling :P

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