Frienemies

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  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
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    She offered you cheese fries and you didn't take them. I would have eaten them all and left her sobbing over her loss of yum yums.

    She's probably jealous but the kidding is more than likely her personality. I'm sure she's just trying to cope with you being successful and possibly she isn't so joking is her facade to hide her pain. Maybe you should reach out to her.
  • sherrin567
    sherrin567 Posts: 13
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    OMG! This is the best!!! :laugh:
  • StarChanger
    StarChanger Posts: 605 Member
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    she sounds hideous.

    I see what you did there...... #State Farm :bigsmile: :drinker:
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    I have a frienemie who I have known since 4th grade. She started to lose weight last summer, I started in January. I was dropping weight fast at the beginning, since she had been at it awhile she was dropping more slowly. I was very supportive of her, telling her she looked good, I could really see where it was coming off, etc. For me, she told me I needed to color my hair, that I was losing my boobs, that I was losing too fast and would never keep it off, that I would hit my plateau too and so on. I finally decided she wouldn't say a kind word to me even if I was about to jump off of a bridge! So I changed my Zumba instructors and only say Hi to her in passing.

    That's really obnoxious. Good for you for dropping her.
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
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    :noway:
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    Have you previously discussed with her that her behavior hurts your feelings?

    If no: Do the grown up thing and talk to her about it.

    If yes: Just break up.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I don't waste my time with frienemies. If I have to question someone's friendship, then I just don't spend time with them.
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Then I realized that some people just aren't happy when you mess up what they perceive to be the social order.

    This this THIS^^^ I love this. You are so right.
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
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    I have a frienemy from high school. She's loud, outspoken and a complete idiot half the time. I can only stand her for an hour, tops. After that, we just start snapping back and forth. I am sure she thinks the same about me, whatever annoys her about me. But, for some reason, we just can't stop being friends. I think we're more friends because we both moved, and don't really talk to the people we were friends with, so we're the only ones left from the group. Plus, we're at different places in our lives. She's still trying to party and get drunk, no intentions of having kids/family. I just want to lose weight, work and start making babies. IDK.... I guess, we keep these frienemies because we just don't want to give them up?
  • Siegel15
    Siegel15 Posts: 100 Member
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    Sounds to me like its time to move on.

    But, if you still like her, and she is a true friend,
    Tell her to cut it out, or you're done.

    Been there.
  • kewpiecyster
    kewpiecyster Posts: 154 Member
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    Grab the fork, eat the fries, then grab her plate and finish the rest. Tell her thank you, and that she was right...They ARE SO GOOD!!!

    Get back on track the next day.

    Oh - if only I had thought of this...LOL. No - that would have just made me look bad...but sounds like fun!!!
  • DashDeV
    DashDeV Posts: 545 Member
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    That's what friends are for. My best friends favorite story to tell people about me is too embarrassing for me to even say, but she does it because she is a b!tch. I love that b!tch.
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
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    I just came across this on the web and I instantly thought of you and your frenemy: Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud.
  • kewpiecyster
    kewpiecyster Posts: 154 Member
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    I just came across this on the web and I instantly thought of you and your frenemy: Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud.

    Love this!
  • Siegel15
    Siegel15 Posts: 100 Member
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    I just came across this on the web and I instantly thought of you and your frenemy: Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud.
    That is a keeper!
  • 40mpw
    40mpw Posts: 75 Member
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    Cut off her source of information, since she is just using it as ammo. Instead of saying, "I'm ordering this at dinner so I can have popcorn later," just say, "This is what I want to order." Don't comment on what she orders in relation to nutrition and if she tries to bait you, don't take it. Like, if she says, "ooh don't you want these cheese fries but I bet they are SO FATTENING," then you keep your face completely neutral and say, "those look good, but I'm in the mood for flatbread." No diet talk. If she brings it up, be dismissive. She says, "How is your diet going?" You say, "Oh, you know, it's not really a diet I'm just trying to eat a little better," then change the subject! Same with your exercise routine. Don't bring it up, but if she does, don't let her linger on the subject. She obviously can't handle this information without using it against you, so control what you can, which is what and how much you tell her.
  • nfpswife
    nfpswife Posts: 63 Member
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    I can think of a quick way for you to drop a 100 plus pounds :wink: :laugh:

    Seriously life is too short to hang out with asshats!

    Starting to feel that way. The only complication is that my hubby and her hubby have been best friends since high school. That is how I came to meet her in the first place. Ugh!

    I'm not friends with my hubbies best friend's wife. They hang out, I have my own friends.

    You don't need that type of criticism or negativity. It's toxic.
  • RealMattHopkins
    RealMattHopkins Posts: 75 Member
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    Cut off her source of information, since she is just using it as ammo. Instead of saying, "I'm ordering this at dinner so I can have popcorn later," just say, "This is what I want to order." Don't comment on what she orders in relation to nutrition and if she tries to bait you, don't take it. Like, if she says, "ooh don't you want these cheese fries but I bet they are SO FATTENING," then you keep your face completely neutral and say, "those look good, but I'm in the mood for flatbread." No diet talk. If she brings it up, be dismissive. She says, "How is your diet going?" You say, "Oh, you know, it's not really a diet I'm just trying to eat a little better," then change the subject! Same with your exercise routine. Don't bring it up, but if she does, don't let her linger on the subject. She obviously can't handle this information without using it against you, so control what you can, which is what and how much you tell her.

    Had a friend like that. If you feel the need to control the flow of information in order to avoid them hurting you with it... why even bother? You should be able to let your hair down among friends. If you can't... can you REALLY call them friends?
  • NarneyK
    NarneyK Posts: 264 Member
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    I would definitely drop her. The guys can hang out on their own. Some suggested having a discussion with her but I wouldn't bother. She is well aware of what she is doing and if she wanted to stop it, she would have by now (since you said she's been doing this for a while). And I'm going to guess that if her husband asked her to stop being mean instead of just asking her to stop in general, he is well aware of her feelings about you and they've probably discussed her negative feelings towards you. He knows she is being mean on purpose instead of just annoying. She isn't worth your time or effort.

    Personally if someone shoved their fork in my face, I would have knocked it out of her hand and told her a few choice words before asking for my portion of the check. You deserve to be treated better than that.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    I would definitely drop her. The guys can hang out on their own. Some suggested having a discussion with her but I wouldn't bother. She is well aware of what she is doing and if she wanted to stop it, she would have by now (since you said she's been doing this for a while). And I'm going to guess that if her husband asked her to stop being mean instead of just asking her to stop in general, he is well aware of her feelings about you and they've probably discussed her negative feelings towards you. He knows she is being mean on purpose instead of just annoying. She isn't worth your time or effort.

    Personally if someone shoved their fork in my face, I would have knocked it out of her hand and told her a few choice words before asking for my portion of the check. You deserve to be treated better than that.

    You sound like great fun at a party.

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