Unexpected downsides of losing weight
MrsBradyBunch
Posts: 182 Member
Not that I'm trying to put a negative spin on it or anything, but I'm thinking "forewarned is forearmed." Better to expect these things and be mentally prepared when they happen. I'm seeing a few. Be it known, however, that the benefits are far greater and make it worthwhile.
So, the unexpected downsides:
1.) You may feel cold a lot, even when nobody else is. I never did like wearing heavy fabrics and layers. But I have to. It's late May, I'm in long sleeves and jeans with socks on, and I'm chilly. I feel more like it's late November.
2.) That infamous Shar Pei sag. Your body shrinks, but your skin doesn't. Your stomach hangs down in front of you like an apron, and you develop "bat wings." If I wave hello or goodbye to somebody, my upper arm flaps will keep waving five minutes after I stop. I even have mini bat wings on my *lower* arms.
3.) People will, not may but will, "concern troll" you. Some with good intentions, and some with malice because they're threatened by your success, will try to coax you to "live a little" or "not be such a fanatic." You're not even out of the "obese" category yet, and they warn you not to "get too skinny." They act like they're afraid you're going to develop anorexia if you keep losing weight. You will have people shoving desserts at you, having difficulty taking "no" for an answer. I, for one, find I'm not experiencing nearly as much of this as I used to. I don't know why, for sure, but I'm thinking it's because I finally got mad enough that I made it clear I won't be putting up with that anymore. So, for the most part, it stopped.
And probably the one that bugs me the most:
4.) When you've made a lot of progress, but you've still got a way to go, this will start happening. Someone who didn't know you when you were heavier will see you making healthy choices, eating vegetables, passing up that dessert, and exercising. They don't know about the weight you've lost already. They only see the weight you still need to lose. So they assume you're just beginning, and here comes the unsolicited and completely unnecessary advice. They'll inform you that you need to "start" doing things you've been doing for a good year now. Or they'll tell you you're doing it wrong, and you should be doing something else instead. Try to tell them how long you've been at it, and how many pounds you've lost, and it doesn't register. They don't even care what your doctor or your dietician says. They'll straight up argue with your results.
Does anyone have any others? What should I prepare myself for?
So, the unexpected downsides:
1.) You may feel cold a lot, even when nobody else is. I never did like wearing heavy fabrics and layers. But I have to. It's late May, I'm in long sleeves and jeans with socks on, and I'm chilly. I feel more like it's late November.
2.) That infamous Shar Pei sag. Your body shrinks, but your skin doesn't. Your stomach hangs down in front of you like an apron, and you develop "bat wings." If I wave hello or goodbye to somebody, my upper arm flaps will keep waving five minutes after I stop. I even have mini bat wings on my *lower* arms.
3.) People will, not may but will, "concern troll" you. Some with good intentions, and some with malice because they're threatened by your success, will try to coax you to "live a little" or "not be such a fanatic." You're not even out of the "obese" category yet, and they warn you not to "get too skinny." They act like they're afraid you're going to develop anorexia if you keep losing weight. You will have people shoving desserts at you, having difficulty taking "no" for an answer. I, for one, find I'm not experiencing nearly as much of this as I used to. I don't know why, for sure, but I'm thinking it's because I finally got mad enough that I made it clear I won't be putting up with that anymore. So, for the most part, it stopped.
And probably the one that bugs me the most:
4.) When you've made a lot of progress, but you've still got a way to go, this will start happening. Someone who didn't know you when you were heavier will see you making healthy choices, eating vegetables, passing up that dessert, and exercising. They don't know about the weight you've lost already. They only see the weight you still need to lose. So they assume you're just beginning, and here comes the unsolicited and completely unnecessary advice. They'll inform you that you need to "start" doing things you've been doing for a good year now. Or they'll tell you you're doing it wrong, and you should be doing something else instead. Try to tell them how long you've been at it, and how many pounds you've lost, and it doesn't register. They don't even care what your doctor or your dietician says. They'll straight up argue with your results.
Does anyone have any others? What should I prepare myself for?
84
Replies
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Boy do I feel you on the cold. I'm only halfway to my goal but I've gone from being constantly hot and sweaty to freezing all the time.12
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#4, well said, well said!!!3
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If you use your body weight to torque on the lug nuts of your wheels when you are overweight, then lose substantial weight while driving 5000 miles before rotating your tires again, getting the obesely torqued nuts off with merely overweight mass is quite difficult.74
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New clothing in smaller sizes gets expensive. Especially if you have a few sizes to get through before hitting your goal.
On the one hand it’s fun to realize those pants are too big, and then get to go out and get a smaller pair. On the other hand the expense can be a burden.26 -
The cold thing has gone away for me, probably just because the weather is warmer. The sagging thing is real! I forever look like I'm frowning and my arms flap. Thankfully I live 900 miles from my family and friends so I haven't had any "Concern" yet or had any efforts to sabotage my weight loss etc.
I took to shopping at thrift/consignment stores, replacing clothing is REALLY expensive! I'll buy the good stuff (new) when I hit my goal weight. I've replaced everything, including all my coats. I also recently have found many of my shoes are too big and I am dreading replacing those. I had to replace all my bras too, I got those new so they were $35 each.
I hate sitting on the floor, park benches, or hard chairs because I just don't have the same butt padding anymore.
I keep an e-mail draft that's a simple list of changes i notice from my weight loss, I add to it when I notice something new has changed in my body or in sizes etc:
- Soon I'll have to get a new drivers license because it says I am 200 pounds ( I was 220 when I put that on there), I am now very clearly NOT that weight and my face has changed.
- When I lay on my side my knees hurt if they touch....no more fat padding!
- My necklaces are longer! Now that my neck is thinner my necklace chains hang much longer.
- As of Nov 2018 I can now shop in regular stores
I have about 20 more on the list
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A minor thing, but "small" tops I always find the sleeves are too short. Like I'm smaller in the body but I'm still the same basic proportions. My wrists poke out of a lot of long sleeves.6
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Oh, yes, the shoes getting loose. Even our feet lose weight. I'm fine with the kind of shoes that need to be tied or velcroed, but slip-ons give me a problem.5
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I am very happy to have lost 75# and wouldn’t ever change that. My only thing to add to be prepared is that this isn’t a temporary project. You aren’t “fixed” and you can’t go back to what you were doing. I learned that the hard way.60
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All of the above! (Except for the lug nut issue
) 3 -
My only real issue so far is that my fabulously fat butt is diminishing.11
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MelanieCN77 wrote: »A minor thing, but "small" tops I always find the sleeves are too short. Like I'm smaller in the body but I'm still the same basic proportions. My wrists poke out of a lot of long sleeves.
I order tall t-shirts even though I am 5'2 just so they will be longer and have longer sleeves3 -
jaymijones wrote: »New clothing in smaller sizes gets expensive. Especially if you have a few sizes to get through before hitting your goal.
On the one hand it’s fun to realize those pants are too big, and then get to go out and get a smaller pair. On the other hand the expense can be a burden.
This is why elastic waists and drawstrings or belt loops are great. I can wear my jeans through 3 sizes because I wear a belt. Buy a couple of basic pieces (jeans, black pants, layering tunics, T shirts) that can be worn through a couple of sizes or look good oversized. Saves a LOT on the wardrobe budget. When I lost over 100 lb., my biggest expense was swimming suits since they are good for only 1-2 sizes and I swam laps and took aquasize classes.8 -
1) Finding clothes that fit as you decline without spending too much
2) Skin irritations
3) You are suddenly the diet expert and everyone asks you for weight loss advice even at funerals
4) You may have "fat brain" and continue to think you are heavier than you are or make decisions based on the heavier version of yourself.
5) Food repetition - I can't be the only one that gets into easy to fix and easy to log routines.
6) Grieving for the the loss of carefree eating - this one I am mostly over but it took a long time
7) Low energy days
35 -
Uncushioned chairs and benches are legitimately uncomfortable now that I don't have as much built-in padding
12 -
NOTHING FITS, AND I CAN'T BUY CLOTHES UNTIL I REACH GOAL WEIGHT.
I have lost 50 pounds, and i have 20ish to go. None of my clothes fit anymore. It sounds like a humble brag, but it's legitimately an issue. I wear suits to work, and the pant's all look like tents so I have to wear more casual pants along with the rest of the get up.
And there's no point in buying anything yet, as the way the weight loss has gone has left a great deal of it on my belly and chest. Everything I lose moving forward is making a pretty dramatic difference to my size, so I feel like I'll be like 4-5 inches smaller at the chest and tummy by goal. Sigh.10 -
Oh, on the clothes thing again, discovering that none of the styles that flattered at one weight mean anything at another.18
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I developed Raynaud's so my fingers look scary when they get cold and have poor circulation. Mine's not too bad, but when the weather's cold it is inconvenient and makes me very self-conscious when other people notice. Two different doctors have told me this is extremely common in patients who have lost large amounts of weight (especially over 100 lb). I feel lucky that it's not super bad and am relieved that it doesn't seem to be in conjunction with a more serious condition (as it sometimes is) but it's still a bummer.
I have never really had the cold issue or low energy.
Most of the other stuff in this thread, though, I can relate to for sure!
One thing I hate is thin/average men and women making disparaging comments to me about heavier folks. This happens so much more than I ever would have expected it to, and I find it so hurtful and disappointing. I didn't realize just how hateful and judgmental people were. You would think I would realize it after 20 years of being a very plus-sized woman, but I really didn't. I find that sometimes I prefer being around those who knew me as a larger person because they don't say these things to me.
As for clothes that flatter at one weight not working on your "new" body that is definitely true for me. I used to swear by cardigans to hide my excess weight and now there's nothing that adds weight faster than a cardigan on my smaller body. Cannot wear tunics. Have to find pretty much cropped/waist length tops to flatter my figure which is a good problem to have and 6 years in, I'm getting used to my new figure finally...but sometimes I still reach for my old standbys and they do not work.19 -
It is harder for me to find clothes that fit well now. I am under 5 feet tall and maintain at 110-115. I wear XS tops and 0 pants, and the petite sizes aren’t short enough. When I wore 16/XL, I never had quite this much trouble with clothes. (Fun fact: “petite” is sized for people who are 5’2”.)
Also, yes to ALWAYS being cold. I also developed Reynaud’s. I wear gloves indoors if the air conditioning is too high.6 -
1) Finding clothes that fit as you decline without spending too much
2) Skin irritations
3) You are suddenly the diet expert and everyone asks you for weight loss advice even at funerals
4) You may have "fat brain" and continue to think you are heavier than you are or make decisions based on the heavier version of yourself.
5) Food repetition - I can't be the only one that gets into easy to fix and easy to log routines.
6) Grieving for the the loss of carefree eating - this one I am mostly over but it took a long time
7) Low energy days
Number 6) really speaks to me. I can appreciate that knowledge is power when it comes to calories, but also sometimes feel that ignorance was bliss!17 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »...but sometimes I still reach for my old standbys and they do not work.
When I was bustier, I loved the look of empire line or the high waist Edwardian sort of silhouette, now it looks ridiculous on me. Same to short drop waist dresses, used to be an good option, and now I look like a 9 year old in them. I'm skinny jeans and t-shirts all the time now. Been two years and I haven't really tried to find new things, because instinctually I look past a lot of stuff still.6 -
lalalacroix wrote: »My only real issue so far is that my fabulously fat butt is diminishing.
Squats! Keep that poppin' bootie without the fat.
5 -
MelanieCN77 wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »...but sometimes I still reach for my old standbys and they do not work.
When I was bustier, I loved the look of empire line or the high waist Edwardian sort of silhouette, now it looks ridiculous on me. Same to short drop waist dresses, used to be an good option, and now I look like a 9 year old in them. I'm skinny jeans and t-shirts all the time now. Been two years and I haven't really tried to find new things, because instinctually I look past a lot of stuff still.
I understand. I am still figuring out what works for me, too. I used to really love wearing scoop neck tops and they were very flattering when I was plus-sized, but now I cannot wear them because they almost always show my bra or cleavage and make my neck & collarbone look bony in a bad way. I also feel like I was the exact person that plus size stores were making their clothing for. I am 5'8" and fairly hourglass and when I wore sizes 20-22 in particular, it seemed like every single thing I tried on fit well on me. While I'm much happier now, I have to try a lot of different brands, cuts, etc, to find the right size 10-12 items that fit my body, especially because I still have wide hips but am honestly a bit small-boned elsewhere (to my surprise). Lots of trial and error.6 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »I developed Raynaud's so my fingers look scary when they get cold and have poor circulation. Mine's not too bad, but when the weather's cold it is inconvenient and makes me very self-conscious when other people notice. Two different doctors have told me this is extremely common in patients who have lost large amounts of weight (especially over 100 lb). I feel lucky that it's not super bad and am relieved that it doesn't seem to be in conjunction with a more serious condition (as it sometimes is) but it's still a bummer.
I have never really had the cold issue or low energy.
Most of the other stuff in this thread, though, I can relate to for sure!
One thing I hate is thin/average men and women making disparaging comments to me about heavier folks. This happens so much more than I ever would have expected it to, and I find it so hurtful and disappointing. I didn't realize just how hateful and judgmental people were. You would think I would realize it after 20 years of being a very plus-sized woman, but I really didn't. I find that sometimes I prefer being around those who knew me as a larger person because they don't say these things to me.
As for clothes that flatter at one weight not working on your "new" body that is definitely true for me. I used to swear by cardigans to hide my excess weight and now there's nothing that adds weight faster than a cardigan on my smaller body. Cannot wear tunics. Have to find pretty much cropped/waist length tops to flatter my figure which is a good problem to have and 6 years in, I'm getting used to my new figure finally...but sometimes I still reach for my old standbys and they do not work.
Oh this is completely true. I was at a funeral on Thursday and people kept expressing that I had lost weight, while simultaneously chastising a couple of my cousins that had put on some. Granted the weight gain was somewhat jarring, but poor life circumstances caused it and we really shouldn't be crapping on people, less so at a funeral. It was in such poor taste and I said so.23 -
Spadesheart, I was absolutely sickened at my grandfather's funeral a few years ago when people commented on my weight loss right and left. So I definitely get it. So rude and bizarre.6
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I'd say this one is probably true for everyone. Don't expect the weight loss to fix all your other problems too. People who were jerks to you before will probably still be a jerk to you once you hit goal. TBH if someone who was mean to you when you were overweight starts being nice just because you are thinner, they are probably very shallow and not worth your time anyway.
Also, I thinks lots of people picture themselves walking around on the beach in a swimsuit and no longer feeling insecure about their bodies, but for most people those insecurities aren't going to just magically go away. The "fat mentality" probably takes longer to work through than the weight loss for most of us.23 -
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They refuse to give me a new ID until my old one runs out, But im 110 pounds lighter and look nothing like my ID. Luckily due for a new one in july but been really annoying getting ID'd for the past year5
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I'd been rowing (on water) regularly for over a decade, while still obese. I routinely help out with our Rowing Club's learn-to-row classes. Students range from teenagers to retirees, but the majority are 30s/40s-ish.
The activity works for anyone with normal mobility, no major fitness needed, but quite a few new people struggle with getting into single shells when they reach that point. The college rowers (who are among the usual coaches/helpers) put one foot on the deck of the shell, then use basically a one-legged squat to get into the seat (at dock level, around 4" off the water). A lot of older people can't do it that way (less balance, flexibility).
So, one thing I've done is demonstrate alternate ways to get in (there are a few; simplest to explain is sitting on the dock, hoisting one's butt into the shell's seat, then swinging the legs into the shell).
When I was fat, and demo-ed this, I would see the relief on people's faces, and usually confidence that if I could do it (obese woman in her 50s), they could do it, too. So they'd go cheerfully make a good effort.
The first year I helped after losing weight (to low-normal BMI 20), the difference was significant. When I demo-ed the easier ways to get in a boat, I mostly saw the same "that's all very well for you" looks that the collegiate folks got when they demo-ed the one-legged squat, and much more tentativeness when most people would try it themselves.
This was a huge, unexpected, negative surprise to me.
Also, I had to replace pretty much all my clothes. I hate to clothes shop: It was really annoying. (I dress about the same, but for some reason I wear more lace tops over tanks in the summer, something I never wore before.) No idea why the lace.)15 -
@seltzermint555 I developed Reynauds too. They say it’s rare, but I know several others that have it. It even happens when I eat something really cold. Last winter I found some gloves on amazon that are heated with little rechargeable batteries. The brand is Savior. It’s was a big help.8
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1) Finding clothes that fit as you decline without spending too much
2) Skin irritations
3) You are suddenly the diet expert and everyone asks you for weight loss advice even at funerals
4) You may have "fat brain" and continue to think you are heavier than you are or make decisions based on the heavier version of yourself.
5) Food repetition - I can't be the only one that gets into easy to fix and easy to log routines.
6) Grieving for the the loss of carefree eating - this one I am mostly over but it took a long time
7) Low energy days
A version of #6 hits home for me, I miss the convenience of drive thrus, I don't like to cook and I loved being able to just get instant dinner, but once you start looking at what those meals contain it's a whole new ball game, lol.3
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