For those who have lost and gained and are losing again (what I've learned)

whtmiwtg4

thank you for sharing

RelCanonical

MelissaLu1216 wrote: »

RelCanonical wrote: »

Updated before-and-after, now with face pics:

Girl, you look great already! Good job

Wish I would have seen this thread before posting mine. I originally lost about 60lbs then gained almost half of it back. Having a hard time getting back on track, keep going up and down, back and forth

But yeah, is does help a lot to see others have gone through the same thing. The mind is the hardest thing to break, I think that's the main issue

The start of me getting better was recognizing that I'm often the reason I'm not getting where I want to be in life. I'm holding myself back, but the breakthrough was realizing that I didn't need to punish myself for holding myself back. I just needed to stop doing it and move on with life. Easier said than done, but I'm getting better at putting myself first more and not attacking myself as much when I think I've made a mistake.

Kita328

LAT1963 wrote: »

Digesting your advice & hoping to benefit from it.


PS: I think 138 looks better on you than 130. Your arms look better to me at 138 (but maybe you're lifting weights now to have better muscle tone).

Her post isn't here for you to give your opinion on her body. Keep that to yourself, because her whole point would be lost if you cant.

Kita328

RelCanonical wrote: »

2. Just because I tell myself that weight loss won't solve my problems, doesn't mean I actually believe it. I need to believe it.
2.5. My body image and self-esteem issues will not be solved by weight loss. In fact, weight loss may make them temporarily worse.
2.5.5. It's the good habits that make me feel good, not the actual results (although the results help).

This spoke to my core.

This year I am the fattest I have ever been, but also the first year I wear crop tops outside of my house. I now feel like I have high enough self esteem to try and lose weight, because I realize weight isnt the problem. My mind is.

RelCanonical

Kita328 wrote: »

LAT1963 wrote: »

Digesting your advice & hoping to benefit from it.


PS: I think 138 looks better on you than 130. Your arms look better to me at 138 (but maybe you're lifting weights now to have better muscle tone).

Her post isn't here for you to give your opinion on her body. Keep that to yourself, because her whole point would be lost if you cant.

I don’t think they meant it poorly, but I found it funny because the sleeve on the dress I’m wearing definitely disguises the shape of my arm. I would say my arm shape hasn’t changed much, I just got better at dressing lol. The power of clothing.

chris_in_cal

I'm still loving this thread.

SuziDA

So much good advice here! Thank you for sharing your experience! Enjoy the journey and be healthy. Not making weight loss an obsession.

dramaqueen45

I'm right there with you. Lost 55 pounds from 2014 to 2016, gained back a little when I started maintaining, but then in 2018 my whole life was turned upside down at my job with too many changes to note, then two years of pandemic plus working amidst the pandemic in the schools this past year -- I really need to find another way to deal with stress than eating.

Now I'm only 11 pounds less than my highest weight ever recorded with plans (again) to get back down. I have noticed that I tend to do well for a week, two weeks or even a month and then something derails me and discourages me and then I just quit for a while. I've also noticed that I'm either all in (regarding eating well) or all out (buying a candy bar every time I stop for gas, eating chips with my lunches every day vs. eating well and logging). So it's like if I'm not logging, it's a free for all. I have to find a middle ground or I will never be able to maintain. I'm disappointed in myself because after I thought I had this all figured out and had taken a year and a half (even through two holiday seasons) to lose the 55 pounds (after dieting on and off all my life), I still gained back most of the weight and I still ate to deal with stress. Exercise helps but it does not undo eating too much of the wrong things. Through all of the stress I still exercised 4-5 times a week like always. So again, finding a middle ground, forgiving myself if I slip and just forging again is the key.

And also self care -- in all things so that it's not just all about the weight and the number. It's everything -- reading, doing something creative -- a holistic approach.

phildog50

By looking at your progress photos, with the exception of 2011, I can honestly say I thought you were still college age

IllustriousBee

While I have never been overweight, I have gone from sickly thin, to skinny fat, to fit a few times in my life. If you haven't heard the phrase "skinny fat" before, it means someone who appears to be thin, but they have a high body fat percentage. I had anorexia as a teen, and I was actually emaciated for awhile. I temporarily recovered in order to join the military. I had a kid and got out of the military. Then the post-partum weight caused another bout of anorexia. This time around I got skeletal-thin. My lowest BMI was 14.

That was about 16 years ago. Since then I've gone from skinny fat to fit over and over again. Something always seems to happen to throw me off of my routine. The latest thing was obviously Covid. I gained 10lbs and became flabby. Now I'm super close to my pre-covid fit self, but I hate this going back and forth business. I just really really want to stay at my goal and maintain it. I can't predict the future, but I can use tips and tricks that will help the routine stick. The biggest thing for me is finding a workout routine that I enjoy. I was shocked to find out from my personal trainer that I actually love doing strength training. I'm no longer intimidated by the machines and weights, and seeing the weight that I can lift increase is always good motivation.

1961Fowler

Wow - wise words that still apply. I look forward to reading the threads. Thank you for this info and advice.

teamhugcpt

RelCanonical wrote: »

5. I am not a pusher, an all-or-nothing-er, a 100%-er. I like to do things as lazily as I can while still meeting my goals. I am pro at moderation, and I require it.

THIS. Seriously, find a way to fit that on a (cute fitted) tee shirt and I will buy it!

kyndread71

I really needed to read this. Thank you for taking the time to write it.

I'm right there with you, losing... then gaining.... losing again... then gaining again. The yo-yo isn't good for us, but it happens. I commend you on your strength and resilience, it becomes too easy to say, 'screw the world I'll just live with being fat'... but you end up screwing yourself over.

Congrats on getting back on the program! I'm right there with you!

cstatdixon

I badly needed to hear this! This is the best post I've read here. Thank you.

BexB42

Thank you for this post! It is good to see others lose gain lose... I am at an all time high weight looking at health issues if I do not act on this. I like your lists! I will take from this, and ty again for sharing!

MrsDogLady

I'm about 1/2 way into my journey - again, and hopefully for the last time. I came to terms when I finally realized that this isn't just to lose weight, it's a game of life. It's-for-the-rest-of-my-life, not just until I get to a healthy weight. The journey/way of eating is never over, I can go out with my family for dinner and enjoy myself, I just need to remember that when I wake up the next day it's back to the plan for life. I've become quite a cook too, and I'm enjoying it. Less bread, less salt, less fat, lean protein. I'm also over 50 and am telling myself, keep moving now - and you'll still have balance, and be able to get up off the floor in your senior years.

Beautyofdreams

I weighed my heaviest after gaining 75 pounds over 3 years of dialysis(233). I lost 96 pounds over 2 years and kept it off for 3 before regaining most of it. Reasons not to maintain loss 1) did not cut back eating when was injured for 2 years, 2) focus shifted away from caring for myself to boyfriend and college, 3) used food to punish myself or for emotional regulation.
Since March of 2020, I have lost 80 pounds and have worked on maintenance while healing from injury since May. I no longer use food to punish myself or for emotional regulation. I focus in performing positive actions like logging food, exercising, how good I feel instead of hurts or temporary failures or perceived shortcomings. Made moderate, long term sustainable changes and a major change to my attitude. This feels right and seems to work for me.

arkowalyshyn

Are you still around? I have a very similar story, and wondered where you are at now.
Started at 225, went to 130, maintained,and the creep over the last 2 years has me back at 165.

PennyLorraine

Perhaps the best post I've read. Thank you! Good advice.

I had lost 52 pounds several years ago and have now gained back about half of it. I want to relose it, and your post had some very helpful insights.

Thank you!

Penny

kwest_4_fitness

This was a needed read today. Back in 2011-2012, I lost 85 lbs, but a series of stressful events led me to regain all it and more. I tried a couple of half-hearted attempts since then to lose again, but I've finally gotten to the point where it's all about taking care of the total me and not just the weight. Thanks for your words of inspiration!

363days

Satisfiedwithbetter wrote: »

My character affirmations....
I am the kind of person that:

Never

• Never harms myself with food.
• Never eats heavily processed foods, they prevent my body from absorbing vital nutrients, cause inflammation, and increase my risk for heart disease and diabetes.
• Never eats processed or refined sugars, they are nutrient deficient, cause inflammation, and increase my risk for heart disease and diabetes.
• Never eats “Pig Slop.” “Pig Slop” is defined as heavily processed, highly engineered, extremely addictive, “Franken (pseudo) foods,” full of sugar, unhealthy fat, and or salt.
• Never listens to “The Pig” in my brain. “The Pig” is the primal center of the brain commonly referred to as the amygdala. “The Pig” likes to eat pig slop, and pig slop goes in a pig trough, and I don’t eat “Pig Slop” or eat out of a pig trough or listen to “The Pig” because pigs are farm animals and have no idea what is good for me.
• Never listens to “Pig Squeal!” “Pig Squeal” is the negative counterproductive thoughts in my brain, coming from “The Pig.”
• Never buffers my feelings or emotions. Using alternative coping skills such as taking a walk, listening to a podcast, or creating a checklist are much healthier ways of dealing with feelings and emotions.
• Never needs to recover from eating a meal.
• Never eats more than two servings of fruit or nuts per day.
• Never eats more than one teaspoon of Stevia per day.
• Never eats beef more than 3 times in a week.

Always

1. Always uses the present moment to be healthy.
2. Always treats myself with patience and love.
3. Always fails forward by learning and growing from my experiences.
4. Always loves my friends and family unconditionally.
5. Always treats others as I would like them to treat me.
6. Always allows people to judge me, have an opinion about me, and not like me.
7. Always gives myself permission to be vulnerable and trust others.
8. Always allows myself to experience my feelings and emotions without buffering. Buffering is the act of suppressing your feelings by eating or using some other activity to avoid the feelings or emotions.v
9. Always gives myself permission to be hungry and use my excess fat as energy.
10. Always gives myself permission to stop eating and listen for my fullness signal.
11. Always gives myself permission to fast for at least 12 hours daily
12. Always eats as many servings of raw Non-Starchy Vegetables as I desire.
13. Always commits 100% to myself, to my goals, & to my dreams!
14. Always drinks 16 ounces of water and waits 5 minutes before eating snacks or second helpings of food.

Thank you for providing this list. I found that while I was reading through it, I started feeling more comfortable and relaxed. It is helpful to me to have something long like this, rather than just a couple of affirmations, because it mentally pulls me away from my wrong thinking where as a couple will not do that. I am listening to the interview now and learning a lot. Great stuff.

dblirondog

Wow how amazing, just what I needed to read this fine morning! Thank you!

mirianyusm

363days wrote: »

Satisfiedwithbetter wrote: »

My character affirmations....
I am the kind of person that:

Never

• Never harms myself with food.
• Never eats heavily processed foods, they prevent my body from absorbing vital nutrients, cause inflammation, and increase my risk for heart disease and diabetes.
• Never eats processed or refined sugars, they are nutrient deficient, cause inflammation, and increase my risk for heart disease and diabetes.
• Never eats “Pig Slop.” “Pig Slop” is defined as heavily processed, highly engineered, extremely addictive, “Franken (pseudo) foods,” full of sugar, unhealthy fat, and or salt.
• Never listens to “The Pig” in my brain. “The Pig” is the primal center of the brain commonly referred to as the amygdala. “The Pig” likes to eat pig slop, and pig slop goes in a pig trough, and I don’t eat “Pig Slop” or eat out of a pig trough or listen to “The Pig” because pigs are farm animals and have no idea what is good for me.
• Never listens to “Pig Squeal!” “Pig Squeal” is the negative counterproductive thoughts in my brain, coming from “The Pig.”
• Never buffers my feelings or emotions. Using alternative coping skills such as taking a walk, listening to a podcast, or creating a checklist are much healthier ways of dealing with feelings and emotions.
• Never needs to recover from eating a meal.
• Never eats more than two servings of fruit or nuts per day.
• Never eats more than one teaspoon of Stevia per day.
• Never eats beef more than 3 times in a week.

Always

1. Always uses the present moment to be healthy.
2. Always treats myself with patience and love.
3. Always fails forward by learning and growing from my experiences.
4. Always loves my friends and family unconditionally.
5. Always treats others as I would like them to treat me.
6. Always allows people to judge me, have an opinion about me, and not like me.
7. Always gives myself permission to be vulnerable and trust others.
8. Always allows myself to experience my feelings and emotions without buffering. Buffering is the act of suppressing your feelings by eating or using some other activity to avoid the feelings or emotions.v
9. Always gives myself permission to be hungry and use my excess fat as energy.
10. Always gives myself permission to stop eating and listen for my fullness signal.
11. Always gives myself permission to fast for at least 12 hours daily
12. Always eats as many servings of raw Non-Starchy Vegetables as I desire.
13. Always commits 100% to myself, to my goals, & to my dreams!
14. Always drinks 16 ounces of water and waits 5 minutes before eating snacks or second helpings of food.

Thank you for providing this list. I found that while I was reading through it, I started feeling more comfortable and relaxed. It is helpful to me to have something long like this, rather than just a couple of affirmations, because it mentally pulls me away from my wrong thinking where as a couple will not do that. I am listening to the interview now and learning a lot. Great stuff.

I guess being rigid can work for some people. Not for me. I can't count the times I lost weight doing the never part of this post. It wasn't hard for up to 6 months. Then one day, I wanted to eat a piece of cake or a piece of chocolate and Boom! lost control totally.
I am in a new journey this time. I lost 50 pounds in 7 months and my state of mind is different this time. I didn't forbid myself for enjoying the food I like. I just find out how many calories that food has, I log it and I eat it. I don't need cheat meals because I eat everything I like. If my food budget doesn't allow it today, I plan it for tomorrow (sometimes I even eat it that very same day and go over a few hundred of calories). Tomorrow is close enough that I can wait. I ate everything I cooked this last Thanksgiving in reasonable portions and I am down one pound this week, so it is feasible. At least it is feasible for me. I know myself too well to say I will never do this or that. Never is an overwhelming word and an overwhelming period of time to think of. I know I am not where I would like to be yet. I am 175 ish and I would like to get to 140 but I can tell the difference of my mindset this time and the times before. I'll get there when I get there. I already lost a big chunk of my weight and I can be gentle to myself. I know why a put on weight but now I know how to eat healthy. We all should be gentle to ourselves without losing sight of the cause/s that made us gain weight.

justanotherloser007

Just out of curiosity, what is wrong with stevia? I grow it and eat it as a sugar alternative, and the hubby has diabetes so sugar is out of the question.

sgs2021

I too have lost-gained-lost-gained, pretty much all of my adult life ... when younger, my weight loss was due to drug use, to be honest, and then the minute I got clean, I would gain again.

I have been clean for good since 1997, and following the pattern, I gained a lot of weight.

2007 was the first time I lost weight without the use of chemicals. I lost 90 pounds through calorie tracking and excessive working out. I kept it off for a couple of years. Over the next 10 years, I gained it all back plus another 7 pounds!

What did I do wrong?

In a nutshell ... I thought, "I got this." and stopped being diligent with tracking what I ate, started putting off the workouts, or just completely blowing them off. A handful of chips here and there became a bag every day. A salad at Jack in the Box became a bacon cheeseburger meal, large-sized. One candy as a treat became a handful every time I passed the candy dish. As I noticed the weight piling back on slowly but surely, I went through phases. IDGAF alternated with "tomorrow I will get back on track..."

Last June, when I went in for a minor medical procedure that I had to be put under for, I had a wake-up call when the anesthesiologist told me I was "moderate risk" for complications. I had always been "low risk." The factors he noted were my age, which I can't do anything about, and my weight ... which I can.

What is Different now?

This time around, I have figured out for once and for all, that I don't "got this." I need to track my calories, my carbs, and my fat intake. I need to make myself get on the treadmill or the exercise bike, no skipping "just for today" allowed. And I have learned that intermittent fasting helps when I use it.

Here's to a lifetime of maintenance! I think the most important thing I have learned is to use what I have learned.

chris_in_cal

RelCanonical wrote: »

That's a big part of life, just learning how to cope healthily.

Still love this post.

allieberri

Hi all, new to this post but I like it.
Honesty is helpful.
I don't got this either. My eating issues started as a child - didn't know it until I was an adult working on other things. As a teen - was bulimic; as a adult - binge eater.
I still am not able to understand when I am tired and need sleep; when I am stressed and need comfort (not a 'treat'). Trying to learn what comfort is and give myself permission to stop working and sleep when I need it.
Anyone - ideas for comfort????

rageving

I have been on a roller coaster for 20 years! I have always struggled with my weight from childhood on. I guess I never really learned to eat "right" and I REALLY like all of the "bad" things and REALLY dislike most of the "good" things. My lowest weight after dieting was 174lbs back in the early 2000's. I gained back 50lbs and lost it again around 2014. I then gained it back plus more and ended up at 263 lbs. At that point I knew I needed to do something but just wasn't in the right mental space to do it so I continued to gain topping out at 290 lbs this year. After our family vacation in June I had the motivation I needed to start down the healthier me path again. I have been at it for about 3 weeks and am down 5lbs. It is a continious struggle with ups and downs on the scale which is discouraging, however, I do feel much, much, much better so I use that as my motivator. Thanks for posting, I needed to boost!

allieberri

Woo hoo! So glad to hear that you are making progress, and hang in there. I am eating radishes as a snack as I write. The radishes slow me down magnificently. They are hot but I like them. They are neither sweet or salty so they don't tweak my brain.
I am done with the yo-yo. I am going to think about this differently. I am going to take care of me and not feel guilty. I am taking it one day at a time - today - it feels like one moment at a time, but, I am going to keep marching ahead.

chris_in_cal

allieberri wrote: »

I am taking it one day at a time - today - it feels like one moment at a time, but, I am going to keep marching ahead.

Powerful post. I hope today is a good one.