a mood ring. He enjoys letting people try it and then saying they owe him money. When they laugh because they don’t believe him he uses it as brass knuckles.
A piece of peanut butter toast. No, not for a snack, tha'td be weird to keep in her pocket. This is a key keeper, sticks her keys in the peanut butter and closes the toast. As a side benefit, it makes getting back in the car just that much more fun.
An orange Dots candy. He likes to stick his hand in his pocket and squeeze it a little while he’s bored at work. So if you see him with his hand in his pocket, his eyes closed and a weird smile
On his face he is probably imagining it’s a nipple.
A miniature Ronald Reagan doll he made from granola bars and cat hair. He pulls it out and says "Well Ronnie, what would you do" before he makes his decisions.
a folded up copy of the bill of rights that he wrote for his secret club in seventh grade. The first two are smudged but you can just make out "the right to see boobies" as number three.
An odd looking duck. When she sees weirdos she likes to pull it out and say, my your an odd looking duck. That way nobody but her duck gets their feelings hurt.
A barbie doll head with the hair on one side missing and only one eye. A few times a day, she pulls it out and says "Oh, look at pretty Ms. Barbie now. not so hot are ya" and rips out another chunk of hair.
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On his face he is probably imagining it’s a nipple.