Ladies, I'm sorry
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irishiwasfitter wrote: »I haven’t used any dating sites in almost two years because the guys I met off them were either bat crazy or creepy. I remember one guy constantly messaging me after I had told him I wasn’t interested in him and so I ended up blocking him but he made a new profile and starting being verbally abusive calling me stupid, ugly, wishing I was dead etc. I had literally sent maybe 5 messages to him and I’d never met up with him or anything. Dodged a bullet if ya ask me!!
I met my husband on one of those sites but I know the feeling of dealing with crazies, too. Guys would message me asking why it said in my profile that I wouldn't date anyone with kids. I told them it was because I didn't want to have kids and would take it very seriously to be in a stepmom role down the road, so I just didn't want to take that chance. Several of them became really fixated on that and would send me horrible mean messages & just not let it go. One created a fake account to do this and later even confronted me in person when I was out with friends.
As for Meetup, I'm more freaked out by that than dating sites because my ex and I used it to try and meet childfree by choice friends. We were around 28-30 and came to a Meetup group which was ALL married couples in their mid 50s who were very into a swinging lifestyle. Also most of them were empty nest parents, not childfree by choice.4 -
Indeed, this is the kind of garbage we get, except often it is worse. People sending pictures of their twig and berries, describing sexual activities that they assume we would participate in with a total stranger, etc. This is why I don't have accounts on Meetup or anything like that anymore. I'm married and I'm old! Bugger off, dongle-flashers!2
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theresa120 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »Why do you think I hide behind cat avatars all the time? Much easier. Doesn't deter it 100% though.
I’ll bet it doesn’t. I can’t even mention that I own a cat without a sexual innuendo being thrown my way 🙄
Oh, this is my "tame" cat avatar. Someone complained that my other one freaked them out. Apparently, "spider cat" isn't as loved or appreciated here as I would like. :P1 -
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JustReadTheInstructions wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »theresa120 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »Why do you think I hide behind cat avatars all the time? Much easier. Doesn't deter it 100% though.
I’ll bet it doesn’t. I can’t even mention that I own a cat without a sexual innuendo being thrown my way 🙄
Oh, this is my "tame" cat avatar. Someone complained that my other one freaked them out. Apparently, "spider cat" isn't as loved or appreciated here as I would like. :P
🤣 I loved spider cat
THANK YOU. Spider cat is awesome.2 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »but yeah, alot of guy spam to wade through when your a female who ventures onto the WWW - hence why alot of females don't put their face as their avatar
Exactly. I've been on various message boards for almost 20 years and learned that lesson early.
There's just something about the anonymity of a computer screen that gives some guys permission to let their most obnoxious sexual aggression out.0 -
NorthCascades wrote: »I broke a rib and hurt my feet too. All of my friends are "hardcore" hikers, the best scenery is hard to get to, and that's where the solitude is. I don't want to hold them back, but rivers and trees are the best medicine.
I joined Meetup for hiking, not having luck there. In a moment of desperation, I put an ad on Craigslist to find people who do short and easy hikes. Here's the response I got:
Let’s just get naked together at your place tomorrow I’m 39 guy
Is this what women deal with every day? I feel like I need to apologize on behalf of my gender.
Instead of “apologizing” to random women online and trying to get brownie points, I think your energy would be better spent challenging this kind of behavior when you see male friends or acquaintances engaging in it. When men make jokes about women’s appearances, generalize about women, talk about harassing women online, or use b*tch, p*ssy, c*nt, etc, you should make it known that that behavior harms women. If men don’t challenge each other, nothing will be fixed.
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JustReadTheInstructions wrote: »The real fun starts when you decline and they start threatening to murder youpizzamyheart wrote: »I haven’t had to deal with any creepy messages since they changed the pm rules here. So sadly, my days are now less amusing. Being a short, fat, tired old lady I don’t get creeped at irl. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.
Is that why my messages aren't going through? Ugh...
For reals though - they changed the rules?1 -
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bennettinfinity wrote: »NorthCascades wrote: »I broke a rib and hurt my feet too. All of my friends are "hardcore" hikers, the best scenery is hard to get to, and that's where the solitude is. I don't want to hold them back, but rivers and trees are the best medicine.
I joined Meetup for hiking, not having luck there. In a moment of desperation, I put an ad on Craigslist to find people who do short and easy hikes. Here's the response I got:
Let’s just get naked together at your place tomorrow I’m 39 guy
Is this what women deal with every day? I feel like I need to apologize on behalf of my gender.
Yes, because when exposed to one person's bad behavior, it's perfectly reasonable to impugn that person's race, gender, religion, political party, culture, and/or bowling team.
But if it helps you score some points with the 'ladies' (are we still allowed to use that word?), then by all means, carry on.
You know he's just joking right?
Behind every joke is a hint of seriousness.4 -
JustReadTheInstructions wrote: »HappilyDistracted wrote: »JustReadTheInstructions wrote: »The real fun starts when you decline and they start threatening to murder youpizzamyheart wrote: »I haven’t had to deal with any creepy messages since they changed the pm rules here. So sadly, my days are now less amusing. Being a short, fat, tired old lady I don’t get creeped at irl. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.
Is that why my messages aren't going through? Ugh...
For reals though - they changed the rules?
Yeah, if you message someone you aren't friends with it never goes through.
Also, if you curse in your first message it won't go through. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Wow, good to know- it should tell you that when you message somebody you're not friends with. I think I've only done it once, and I was a lil surprised to get no reply at all, but just shrugged it off.
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gallicinvasion wrote: »NorthCascades wrote: »I broke a rib and hurt my feet too. All of my friends are "hardcore" hikers, the best scenery is hard to get to, and that's where the solitude is. I don't want to hold them back, but rivers and trees are the best medicine.
I joined Meetup for hiking, not having luck there. In a moment of desperation, I put an ad on Craigslist to find people who do short and easy hikes. Here's the response I got:
Let’s just get naked together at your place tomorrow I’m 39 guy
Is this what women deal with every day? I feel like I need to apologize on behalf of my gender.
Instead of “apologizing” to random women online and trying to get brownie points, I think your energy would be better spent challenging this kind of behavior when you see male friends or acquaintances engaging in it. When men make jokes about women’s appearances, generalize about women, talk about harassing women online, or use b*tch, p*ssy, c*nt, etc, you should make it known that that behavior harms women. If men don’t challenge each other, nothing will be fixed.
Please don't think I'm friends with people who think it's ok to make people feel uncomfortable for the fun of it.2 -
HappilyDistracted wrote: »JustReadTheInstructions wrote: »The real fun starts when you decline and they start threatening to murder youpizzamyheart wrote: »I haven’t had to deal with any creepy messages since they changed the pm rules here. So sadly, my days are now less amusing. Being a short, fat, tired old lady I don’t get creeped at irl. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.
Is that why my messages aren't going through? Ugh...
For reals though - they changed the rules?
@HappilyDistracted
don't worry, I've received your messages.
.......and you should be ashamed of yourself.
.4 -
Unfortunately par for the course1
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RunHardBeStrong wrote: »JustReadTheInstructions wrote: »The real fun starts when you decline and they start threatening to murder you
Or when they kidnap you.
Oh wait that wasn't real... nvmd.
😂😂😂😂 That one wasn't, but it is a possibility0
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