What’s a red flag for you?

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Replies

  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    isalsayourface123 wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    gets mad when you don't text back
    watches makeup tutorials on youtube a lot
    shirt longer than her shorts
    dyed hair
    owns a big dog
    anti-depressants/bipolar/pain killer prescriptions
    no female friends
    bad relationship with parents
    wanderlust in her bio

    What does wanderlust signify?

    politely said- a disinterest in staying in one place for too long

    What's the impolite way of saying that?
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    When you co-worker says "I haven't showered in 5 days"...note to self, don't get too close, breathe shallowly through your mouth
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    tinak33 wrote: »
    sr2587 wrote: »
    Narcissism!!! You know the kind you can’t get 2 words in because the entire conversation ends up being about them....

    Yeeesssss........ I work with someone like this.

    A guy I dated in the 90's. He was hot.. but I could kick back and not say anything for a couple hours because he could talk about himself that long.
  • rickigageby
    rickigageby Posts: 149 Member
    GymGoddessGoals wrote: »
    mattig89ch wrote: »
    The one red flag I've figured out, is her expecting to be treated like a queen from the go. I'm a believer in equality. So expecting me to hold a door, or pay for the meal, ect. is a giant red flag for me. I'm not saying I wouldn't do these things. just, going into something, expecting the other person to owe you something, is a big no no for me.

    I don't see those things as something expected so much as chivalry. Equality is one thing. However, being a gentleman is another. If you ask me out for dinner, then yes you should pay for dinner. Vice versa; if I asked you out then the expense of the date belongs to me. Chivalry also goes both ways. That is equality.

    If we are walking into a building together then it's chivalrous to hold the door and allow me to walk in first. I don't need to be treated like a queen and I certainly wouldn't think I am owed those things. However, I wouldn't likely continue seeing a person who doesn't do these things. And I certainly would not go on a 2nd date with someone who asked me out but then expected that I paid half of the expenses for the date.

    Agreed!!!!
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    The inability to possess accurate bus fare.

    If she wears the color mauve.

    I look great in Mauve actually.

  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    smantha32 wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    The inability to possess accurate bus fare.

    If she wears the color mauve.

    I look great in Mauve actually.

    is that like a dusty rose?
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    JustReadTheInstructions wrote: »
    Everyone seems so rigid. This is why I don't date.

    Yea...sorry about that. I try not to be, but I am confused about dating, and get annoyed by my confusion. I stopped posting in here, and sent a message to gymgoddess instead. Just to stop derailing. :/
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    when someone wants you to house/pet-sit and keeps telling you over and over about all the cameras in their home and to "not worry, they don't watch them"...hmm...change outside in the yard or in a closet and shower in a bathing suit I'm thinking
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    rickigageby wrote: »
    mattig89ch wrote: »
    The one red flag I've figured out, is her expecting to be treated like a queen from the go. I'm a believer in equality. So expecting me to hold a door, or pay for the meal, ect. is a giant red flag for me. I'm not saying I wouldn't do these things. just, going into something, expecting the other person to owe you something, is a big no no for me.

    See being treated like a queen is more emotional for me. I don’t care for gifts or any of that. I just want him to show me that I’m the only woman he cares about. Tells me how lucky he is, etc. how a man should treat a woman. That’s what I considered being treated like a queen. (I don’t expect him to pay for anything or buy anything). I do the same back. If he treats me like a queen he will get treated like a king.

    Agreed. This is how I feel too.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    George_of_the_Jungle wrote: »
    Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
    George_of_the_Jungle wrote: »
    Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
    It's a red flag when she says that she's jealous of my kids because they get more time with me than she does….
    Yeah, :D Get oughta my house.

    This is totally how it should be (the kids getting more time w/ their dad) - and also one of the reasons I would never date dads! I'd be thinking that and all resentful. So nope.

    You would be resentful of children for time spent with their parent? Am I reading this correctly?

    Believe it or not, this happens. In both directions. At least she's aware of it and that it shouldn't be that way and practices avoidance.
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
    It's a red flag when she says that she's jealous of my kids because they get more time with me than she does….
    Yeah, :D Get oughta my house.

    This is totally how it should be (the kids getting more time w/ their dad) - and also one of the reasons I would never date dads! I'd be thinking that and all resentful. So nope.

    You would be resentful of children for time spent with their parent? Am I reading this correctly?

    I expect to be the main focus in someone's life if they are my romantic partner, yep. And I fully 100% know that when you're a parent, the kids are more important especially up to age 18+ but likely forever. I accept that and decided when I was like 13 years old never to have kids and never to date a dad. I haven't strayed from that. So while you may think my opinion is evil, at least I didn't actively date a guy with kids and resent those kids!

    My questions sounded judgy when it wasn’t intended to be. I apologize. If anything, I’m intrigued by any opposite life path from mine.

    My “red flag” was from a woman much younger than I that I dated. She insisted despite repeated clarification of my priorities that she loved the idea of a man with children. It was evident quite quickly that she did NOT, lol..... also, she couldn’t quite understand my anger when I found her smoking weed in a room next to my sleeping boys. So, she wasn’t going to be a good fit.

    I didn't think it was judgy. I'm not crazy abour her answer, demanding that much attention is red flaggy to me. Doesn't make it wrong, just isn't for me. I just wanted to point out that she was at least aware of it and took measures to make it a non issue.

    I feel what you're sayin on the rest. One of the reasons I don't really date is that there aren't too many women out there willing to be a 5th priority at best.

    It's not easy being a step parent. At one time I had my 4 kids and 4 step kids.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    dodea48 wrote: »
    I thought you and caco_ethes were getting a room :)

    Me?

    Well , she is cute 😁
  • RockWarrior84
    RockWarrior84 Posts: 840 Member
    Red flag, if she doesn’t like tacos



  • Glazed_and_Confused
    Glazed_and_Confused Posts: 1,307 Member
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    If he isn’t in favor of the Oxford comma

    ny6pqm76ou19.gif
  • GymGoddessGoals
    GymGoddessGoals Posts: 2,146 Member
    @mattig89ch sorry, I wont get that message. We aren't friends (as in we arent on each others FL) so the message won't go through.
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    That....might actually explain why alot of the messages I've sent have gone un-answered. @GymGoddessGoals want to be friends and continue this discussion?
  • GymGoddessGoals
    GymGoddessGoals Posts: 2,146 Member
    @mattig89ch I'm always up for a good discussion.

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