What’s a red flag for you?

11415171920186

Replies

  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    gets mad when you don't text back
    watches makeup tutorials on youtube a lot
    shirt longer than her shorts
    dyed hair
    owns a big dog
    anti-depressants/bipolar/pain killer prescriptions
    no female friends
    bad relationship with parents
    wanderlust in her bio

    What does wanderlust signify?

    politely said- a disinterest in staying in one place for too long
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    kam26001 wrote: »
    It's a red flag if the first thing they want to know about me is my horoscope sign.

    Nothing could be more repelling than listening to someone with a coral reef necklace tell me all about myself and who I am going to become when the big asteroid hits my sun dial. It's like, dude, we're two strangers microwaving our corn dogs at a *kitten* gas station. Let's run our government names by each other first, talk about our careers, do you like mustard or ketchup on yours... you know, things our grandparents would have said during the courting process.

    Asking me my horoscope when I'm eating gas station food for the 4th day in a row. LOL. What kind of reality are these people living in.

    Now I really wanna know your zodiac sign. 😋



  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    kam26001 wrote: »
    It's a red flag if the first thing they want to know about me is my horoscope sign.

    Nothing could be more repelling than listening to someone with a coral reef necklace tell me all about myself and who I am going to become when the big asteroid hits my sun dial. It's like, dude, we're two strangers microwaving our corn dogs at a *kitten* gas station. Let's run our government names by each other first, talk about our careers, do you like mustard or ketchup on yours... you know, things our grandparents would have said during the courting process.

    Asking me my horoscope when I'm eating gas station food for the 4th day in a row. LOL. What kind of reality are these people living in.

    It’s not enough that they’re spying on us and lying to us, they’re giving us names now? What’ll they do next, date us?
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    gets mad when you don't text back
    watches makeup tutorials on youtube a lot
    shirt longer than her shorts
    dyed hair
    owns a big dog
    anti-depressants/bipolar/pain killer prescriptions
    no female friends
    bad relationship with parents
    wanderlust in her bio

    What does wanderlust signify?

    politely said- a disinterest in staying in one place for too long

    What's the impolite way of saying that?
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    When you co-worker says "I haven't showered in 5 days"...note to self, don't get too close, breathe shallowly through your mouth
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    tinak33 wrote: »
    sr2587 wrote: »
    Narcissism!!! You know the kind you can’t get 2 words in because the entire conversation ends up being about them....

    Yeeesssss........ I work with someone like this.

    A guy I dated in the 90's. He was hot.. but I could kick back and not say anything for a couple hours because he could talk about himself that long.
  • rickigageby
    rickigageby Posts: 149 Member
    mattig89ch wrote: »
    The one red flag I've figured out, is her expecting to be treated like a queen from the go. I'm a believer in equality. So expecting me to hold a door, or pay for the meal, ect. is a giant red flag for me. I'm not saying I wouldn't do these things. just, going into something, expecting the other person to owe you something, is a big no no for me.

    I don't see those things as something expected so much as chivalry. Equality is one thing. However, being a gentleman is another. If you ask me out for dinner, then yes you should pay for dinner. Vice versa; if I asked you out then the expense of the date belongs to me. Chivalry also goes both ways. That is equality.

    If we are walking into a building together then it's chivalrous to hold the door and allow me to walk in first. I don't need to be treated like a queen and I certainly wouldn't think I am owed those things. However, I wouldn't likely continue seeing a person who doesn't do these things. And I certainly would not go on a 2nd date with someone who asked me out but then expected that I paid half of the expenses for the date.

    Agreed!!!!
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    The inability to possess accurate bus fare.

    If she wears the color mauve.

    I look great in Mauve actually.

  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    smantha32 wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    The inability to possess accurate bus fare.

    If she wears the color mauve.

    I look great in Mauve actually.

    is that like a dusty rose?
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    Everyone seems so rigid. This is why I don't date.

    Yea...sorry about that. I try not to be, but I am confused about dating, and get annoyed by my confusion. I stopped posting in here, and sent a message to gymgoddess instead. Just to stop derailing. :/
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    when someone wants you to house/pet-sit and keeps telling you over and over about all the cameras in their home and to "not worry, they don't watch them"...hmm...change outside in the yard or in a closet and shower in a bathing suit I'm thinking
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    mattig89ch wrote: »
    The one red flag I've figured out, is her expecting to be treated like a queen from the go. I'm a believer in equality. So expecting me to hold a door, or pay for the meal, ect. is a giant red flag for me. I'm not saying I wouldn't do these things. just, going into something, expecting the other person to owe you something, is a big no no for me.

    See being treated like a queen is more emotional for me. I don’t care for gifts or any of that. I just want him to show me that I’m the only woman he cares about. Tells me how lucky he is, etc. how a man should treat a woman. That’s what I considered being treated like a queen. (I don’t expect him to pay for anything or buy anything). I do the same back. If he treats me like a queen he will get treated like a king.

    Agreed. This is how I feel too.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
    It's a red flag when she says that she's jealous of my kids because they get more time with me than she does….
    Yeah, :D Get oughta my house.

    This is totally how it should be (the kids getting more time w/ their dad) - and also one of the reasons I would never date dads! I'd be thinking that and all resentful. So nope.

    You would be resentful of children for time spent with their parent? Am I reading this correctly?

    Believe it or not, this happens. In both directions. At least she's aware of it and that it shouldn't be that way and practices avoidance.
    It's a red flag when she says that she's jealous of my kids because they get more time with me than she does….
    Yeah, :D Get oughta my house.

    This is totally how it should be (the kids getting more time w/ their dad) - and also one of the reasons I would never date dads! I'd be thinking that and all resentful. So nope.

    You would be resentful of children for time spent with their parent? Am I reading this correctly?

    I expect to be the main focus in someone's life if they are my romantic partner, yep. And I fully 100% know that when you're a parent, the kids are more important especially up to age 18+ but likely forever. I accept that and decided when I was like 13 years old never to have kids and never to date a dad. I haven't strayed from that. So while you may think my opinion is evil, at least I didn't actively date a guy with kids and resent those kids!

    My questions sounded judgy when it wasn’t intended to be. I apologize. If anything, I’m intrigued by any opposite life path from mine.

    My “red flag” was from a woman much younger than I that I dated. She insisted despite repeated clarification of my priorities that she loved the idea of a man with children. It was evident quite quickly that she did NOT, lol..... also, she couldn’t quite understand my anger when I found her smoking weed in a room next to my sleeping boys. So, she wasn’t going to be a good fit.

    I didn't think it was judgy. I'm not crazy abour her answer, demanding that much attention is red flaggy to me. Doesn't make it wrong, just isn't for me. I just wanted to point out that she was at least aware of it and took measures to make it a non issue.

    I feel what you're sayin on the rest. One of the reasons I don't really date is that there aren't too many women out there willing to be a 5th priority at best.

    It's not easy being a step parent. At one time I had my 4 kids and 4 step kids.