What’s a red flag for you?

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Replies

  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    keeps a pleasure journal 😐
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    keeps a pleasure journal 😐

    The New Year Resolution I didn't know I needed.
  • Miss_Nobody
    Miss_Nobody Posts: 37 Member
    When you borrow his phone to make a call and his password looks like this.

    fpax4culwt5a.jpg
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,071 Member
    If she has ever taught a teenage abstinence workshop
  • annrellis1339
    annrellis1339 Posts: 3 Member
    If they smell bad bad hygiene in general
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,739 Member
    Constant impulse purchases. Double the red flag when he impulse buys everything that pops up as an ad on IG and admits it with no shame later.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    skctilidie wrote: »
    Inability to listen. For example, if you specifically ask me "do you like this particular food item?" and I respond that I very much dislike it and do not eat it, do not then cook it for me 2 days later and be upset that I do not want it.

    Looks for validation and praise every time he does basic tasks like washing dishes, laundry, or grocery shopping - because he so rarely does any of the above or any other housekeeping task.

    Related: hoards anything, but especially not being able to bother to throw away food that's long past the stage of disgusting and is bordering on unrecognizable. (Most recent specific example - why is there, among other gross things, half a pie with a best by date of months ago that's now mostly covered with mold sitting in a half-open box on your counter? How long has it been there? Are you aware there's a trash can 3 steps away? I might have an answer to the question of why you're having such a hard time with ants and mice...)

    Daily selfies, especially if they're always posted to multiple social media platforms.

    Constantly commenting gushing praise on half-naked/fully-naked women's photos on social media while claiming "oh, I'm totally serious about us and our relationship and I'll get jealous and anxious if you even talk to another guy, but these are my friends and I *have to* support my friends, so you just have to accept that it's not something I'm ever going to stop doing"...even better when done while apparently not noticing that these oh so important friends never respond to any of his own photos or posts.

    Updates their relationship status on facebook to say you're in a relationship with each other when you've been out exactly 1 time, then calls in a panic because they're afraid you're going to break up with them when you hide that status. Didn't think an official breakup was necessary after 1 afternoon, but yes, now I most certainly am.

    Gets irritated at me for going to the gym - followed by ranting at me about how he refuses to exercise in any way because his dad liked to work out and they didn't have a great relationship. Uh, ok? Afraid we're not very compatible then.

    (Sheesh, apparently I needed to vent a bit about the fun that is attempting to date at 40. :D )

    Wow. Um. Just. Wow. I think I'd be happier without all the dating hoopla of life if this was my experience. Eek. Tell me this wasn't all rolled into one guy? Even so. :/
  • Frodobaggins29
    Frodobaggins29 Posts: 70 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    skctilidie wrote: »
    Inability to listen. For example, if you specifically ask me "do you like this particular food item?" and I respond that I very much dislike it and do not eat it, do not then cook it for me 2 days later and be upset that I do not want it.

    Looks for validation and praise every time he does basic tasks like washing dishes, laundry, or grocery shopping - because he so rarely does any of the above or any other housekeeping task.

    Related: hoards anything, but especially not being able to bother to throw away food that's long past the stage of disgusting and is bordering on unrecognizable. (Most recent specific example - why is there, among other gross things, half a pie with a best by date of months ago that's now mostly covered with mold sitting in a half-open box on your counter? How long has it been there? Are you aware there's a trash can 3 steps away? I might have an answer to the question of why you're having such a hard time with ants and mice...)

    Daily selfies, especially if they're always posted to multiple social media platforms.

    Constantly commenting gushing praise on half-naked/fully-naked women's photos on social media while claiming "oh, I'm totally serious about us and our relationship and I'll get jealous and anxious if you even talk to another guy, but these are my friends and I *have to* support my friends, so you just have to accept that it's not something I'm ever going to stop doing"...even better when done while apparently not noticing that these oh so important friends never respond to any of his own photos or posts.

    Updates their relationship status on facebook to say you're in a relationship with each other when you've been out exactly 1 time, then calls in a panic because they're afraid you're going to break up with them when you hide that status. Didn't think an official breakup was necessary after 1 afternoon, but yes, now I most certainly am.

    Gets irritated at me for going to the gym - followed by ranting at me about how he refuses to exercise in any way because his dad liked to work out and they didn't have a great relationship. Uh, ok? Afraid we're not very compatible then.

    (Sheesh, apparently I needed to vent a bit about the fun that is attempting to date at 40. :D )

    Wow. Um. Just. Wow. I think I'd be happier without all the dating hoopla of life if this was my experience. Eek. Tell me this wasn't all rolled into one guy? Even so. :/

    I second that I’d rather stay single if I were you lol
  • twitchandshout
    twitchandshout Posts: 1,591 Member
    If he has the crazy eyes
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    If they smell bad bad hygiene in general

    Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).
    Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.

    👉👈

    I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.

    🤔

    Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.
  • twitchandshout
    twitchandshout Posts: 1,591 Member
    If he smacks someone upside the head with a twisted tea it might be a sign.
  • twitchandshout
    twitchandshout Posts: 1,591 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    If they smell bad bad hygiene in general

    Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).
    Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.

    👉👈

    I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.

    🤔

    Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.

    I’ve been feeling incredibly hedonistic lately - doing all the things that feel good to me. Should I be writing these down or is my vlog sufficient?
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,623 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    If they smell bad bad hygiene in general

    Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).
    Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.

    👉👈

    I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.

    🤔

    Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.

    I’ve been feeling incredibly hedonistic lately - doing all the things that feel good to me. Should I be writing these down or is my vlog sufficient?

    Are there visuals with this vlog? Send link for reference point
  • twitchandshout
    twitchandshout Posts: 1,591 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    If they smell bad bad hygiene in general

    Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).
    Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.

    👉👈

    I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.

    🤔

    Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.

    I’ve been feeling incredibly hedonistic lately - doing all the things that feel good to me. Should I be writing these down or is my vlog sufficient?

    Are there visuals with this vlog? Send link for reference point

    It’s generally my cat while she licks her butt as I voiceover a description of my breakfast.
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    If they smell bad bad hygiene in general

    Mmmk...but like their natural "musky" smell is fine right? Like when you nestle up into the crook of their shoulder and you can tell they didn't have deodorant on that day but you don't mind and kinda like it (assuming this is not post-workout).
    Tragically hip. Always up on the latest trends.

    👉👈

    I don't like The Hip per se but they are Canadian, therefore it's a patriotic duty to rep. Also the juxtaposition of being into that band yet still being up on trends is deliciously intriguing.

    🤔

    Lemme jot this all down in my new Pleasure Journal.

    I’ve been feeling incredibly hedonistic lately - doing all the things that feel good to me. Should I be writing these down or is my vlog sufficient?

    A vlog, you say? You've leveled up! 🙌🏿 And, like @PlentyofProtein00, I'd want the link...even if it requires a substantial Patreon committment.
  • SunnyBunBun79
    SunnyBunBun79 Posts: 2,228 Member
    Getting into a relationship based on just the first honeymoon phase of dating. If you havent seen them angry or upset or failed at something, you havent seen their true behavior.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
    edited January 2021
    .
  • jruch23
    jruch23 Posts: 1,069 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    jruch23 wrote: »
    Thanks for all your input guys. So far I haven't heard from her. Last time we texted was just told each other Happy New Year. We also go to the same church so tomorrow will be interesting....

    Dress nice. Smile a lot, not necessarily at her. Leave before she does and don’t approach her, but if you do make eye contact, give a polite head nod and that’s it.

    She got into her car and left after the first service. I know she saw me pull up with my truck and parked. I don't know....feels like it's already over.