Why didn't you get married?

13

Replies

  • Glazed_and_Confused
    Glazed_and_Confused Posts: 1,307 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    ... he broke into my apartment.
    ... he used me.
    ... he had a mommy fetish.
    ... he never picked up after himself.
    ... he ate my food without asking.
    ... he told me I made him feel so dirty that he would never be clean again after believing rumors instead of you know, the person he was dating.
    ... he didn't like reading.
    ... he liked kettle corn. Yuck.
    ... he hated eggnog.
    ... he refused to acknowledge that cake donuts ARE donuts.


    imho, everything on your list is quite forgivable.... until we get to the donuts.

    Are you a cake donut hater.... or lover?
    lswpyz7gynwa.gif

    Good lawd this is making me feel things 🤤🤤
  • Glazed_and_Confused
    Glazed_and_Confused Posts: 1,307 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    she always got mad when I refused to take her to the lake

    You know it’s serious when you take her to meet Honkers

    close but no cigar

    https://youtu.be/2AXf5vjQV-w

    I made it 40 seconds through. Wtf.

    I somehow sat through the whole thing. That guy has some MF patience. 😳
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    ... because he always wanted to brush my hair.
    ... because he turned into a stalker.
    ... because he was creepy af.
    ... because he couldn't cook.
    ... because he was too nice for me.
    ... because he ended up having a record.

    2 times in the past year I was very interested in guys who turned out to have records. Not minor ones either. Ugh

    i heard 30% of adults have a criminal record in america so

    I know a lot of people have minor things, but 1 guy was kidnapping and battery the other was a whole host of drug and alcohol related things, including meth, and strangulation. Gonna have to pass on those guys. Messed up thing is that they both had good jobs so I was caught off guard. The "chef" at Five Guys had no record at all, go figure.
  • GoJohnGo71
    GoJohnGo71 Posts: 439 Member
    I'm not ready to get married. I'm only 47. >:)
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
    Just have fun with this. It can be real things that happened to you or just reasons you have for not getting married.

    https://youtu.be/VFIw3fyaw-E
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    ... because he always wanted to brush my hair.
    ... because he turned into a stalker.
    ... because he was creepy af.
    ... because he couldn't cook.
    ... because he was too nice for me.
    ... because he ended up having a record.

    2 times in the past year I was very interested in guys who turned out to have records. Not minor ones either. Ugh

    i heard 30% of adults have a criminal record in america so

    I know a lot of people have minor things, but 1 guy was kidnapping and battery the other was a whole host of drug and alcohol related things, including meth, and strangulation. Gonna have to pass on those guys. Messed up thing is that they both had good jobs so I was caught off guard. The "chef" at Five Guys had no record at all, go figure.

    😯
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    she always got mad when I refused to take her to the lake

    You know it’s serious when you take her to meet Honkers

    close but no cigar

    https://youtu.be/2AXf5vjQV-w

    I made it 40 seconds through. Wtf.

    I somehow sat through the whole thing. That guy has some MF patience. 😳

    I was ready to throw her out the damn car myself
  • nighthawk584
    nighthawk584 Posts: 2,023 Member
    GoJohnGo71 wrote: »
    I'm not ready to get married. I'm only 47. >:)

    haha! I'm 54 and definitely too young to do such a foolish thing!
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  • memurph88
    memurph88 Posts: 102 Member
    edited September 2019
    The first time I was proposed to, it was WHILE I was breaking up with him because I found out he had been cheating on me during our entire 2.5 year relationship. Like... No.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    1sphere wrote: »
    Marriage can be a good thing, there are positives, and I'm not dissing it. My last post sounded very negative

    Depends on what you want for your life. You could find someone enjoys the same things you do. And then you can share some amazing adventures and experiences with that person. <3

    I guess it also depends on you and that person you are with. Do you want to get married? Or do you want to just be together with out the official "marriage"? Or would you prefer to just be single?

    There is such a variety these days, for lifestyles and relationships. What works for others may not work for you.
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  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    1sphere wrote: »
    tinak33 wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    Marriage can be a good thing, there are positives, and I'm not dissing it. My last post sounded very negative

    Depends on what you want for your life. You could find someone enjoys the same things you do. And then you can share some amazing adventures and experiences with that person. <3
    That is true. What I want for me is also prone to change, and I guess it's normal that peoples feelings change with time.

    That is very true.
    When I had my daughter, a lot of my dreams changed. I had new dreams and goals that were very different from what I previously had. They weren't better or worse, it's just that I had changed. So the things I wanted out of life, changed as well.

    Some people have this great ability to be open enough to grow and change WITH their partner. But unfortunately not everyone is that lucky....
  • MoxyLeigh
    MoxyLeigh Posts: 433 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    she always got mad when I refused to take her to the lake

    You know it’s serious when you take her to meet Honkers

    close but no cigar

    https://youtu.be/2AXf5vjQV-w

    I made it 40 seconds through. Wtf.

    I somehow sat through the whole thing. That guy has some MF patience. 😳

    I was ready to throw her out the damn car myself

    I just kept thinking what a good place a lake is to drown a person. :D

  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
    edited September 2019
    Bad experiences in college:
    1) wasted two years pursuing a guy who was gay and in denial.
    2) attacked by drunk fraternity thugs bent on rape and had to defend myself with a fencing foil.
    3) took until 25 or 26 years old to start trusting men again and by then decent people were all paired up.

    There were two decent men sandwiched in there who I perhaps unwisely took a pass on because my mother is a *kitten*ing racist and was persecuting a sibling for marrying a Jewish person. They were Jewish and I didn't want to sign up, or sign them up, for the kinds of abuse I was observing.

    PS: sorry to be brutally honest, hope that doesn't ruin your day.

    PPS: if you are a dude--that fraternity thug incident isn't that uncommon; if you've ever had a really neurotic girlfriend it's probably PTSD from an interaction with guys like those, or fear of them--'shroedinger's rapists'--that is making her neurotic. It's not you, it's her, but it is her because of what women call 'rape culture'. The predators among men are very good at pretending to be normal, sort of like a venus fly trap is good at looking like an ordinary plant. Studies show 5% of men don't recognize date rape when it is presented to them as a scenario and are at risk of being predators that way. So try to imagine if 1 in every 20 dudes you know as buddies might try to rape you at some point and you can understand why women can be neurotic when dating. What is more, each of these guys tends to be a serial offender and even at only 5%, bad dudes can result in tens of %'s of paranoid women. Lastly, a lot of the offenders have ego issues and become violent when rejected, which is why men complain of 'mixed signals'--she may fear that saying 'no' directly will result in being hospitalized or killed, because she can't tell the bad/violently explosive dudes from the good ones who will just walk away in disappointment. (you can't tell them apart either).
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    ... we kissed for the first time and it felt like kissing a brother.
    ... they were too co-dependent.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Well he won’t agree that we should have a black accent wall in our dining room so I’m really not sure he’s the one anymore.

    .... what if he's right ??
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Well he won’t agree that we should have a black accent wall in our dining room so I’m really not sure he’s the one anymore.

    .... what if he's right ??

    :o
  • amorfati601070
    amorfati601070 Posts: 2,890 Member
    edited September 2019
    Possibly because I became a cynical *kitten*. Still don’t wanna get married, I don’t think that formality is necessary. Plus when *kitten* goes south, which if you look at the statistics...it usually does it’s incredibly ugly from legal perspectives. But I must confess an admiration for those that do make it work and have happy families. Maybe one day, someone will change my mind
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    Possibly because I became a cynical *kitten*. Still don’t wanna get married, I don’t think that formality is necessary. Plus when *kitten* goes south, which if you look at the statistics...it usually does it’s incredibly ugly from legal perspectives. But I must confess an admiration for those that do make it work and have happy families. Maybe one day, someone will change my mind

    I agree with all of this except the last sentence
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    edited September 2019
    Possibly because I became a cynical *kitten*. Still don’t wanna get married, I don’t think that formality is necessary. Plus when *kitten* goes south, which if you look at the statistics...it usually does it’s incredibly ugly from legal perspectives. But I must confess an admiration for those that do make it work and have happy families. Maybe one day, someone will change my mind

    It depends on the people. My divorce was easy. We divorced online. $300. Done. Granted, we had a short marriage, and never really combined anything. That was part of the reason for divorce. haha There was zero partnership. But it was amicable, we are still friendly (easy when living 3000 miles away from each other), and there were zero harsh words and/or ugly incidents.
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    Cutemesoon wrote: »
    Because no one has asked me to. 🤷

    What she said
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    edited September 2019
    tinak33 wrote: »
    Possibly because I became a cynical *kitten*. Still don’t wanna get married, I don’t think that formality is necessary. Plus when *kitten* goes south, which if you look at the statistics...it usually does it’s incredibly ugly from legal perspectives. But I must confess an admiration for those that do make it work and have happy families. Maybe one day, someone will change my mind

    It depends on the people. My divorce was easy. We divorced online. $300. Done. Granted, we had a short marriage, and never really combined anything. That was part of the reason for divorce. haha There was zero partnership. But it was amicable, we are still friendly (easy when living 3000 miles away from each other), and there were zero harsh words and/or ugly incidents.

    Yeah, I agree tinak33. My divorce followed a 9.5 year marriage and we had real estate and investments and it was still just $500 (in-person attorney) because everything was agreed upon and fairly simple to divide. I was pretty annoyed with him but we never really "fought" and it was definitely an amicable divorce. After briefly working in a divorce attorney's office, I do think kids usually complicate matters and make any divorce FAR more expensive - but we didn't have kids.

    Earlier in this thread, or maybe another recent marriage-related thread (sorry I'm not sure)...someone mentioned living together (without marriage) being great because you wake up every day knowing that person chooses to stay with you. It basically said that if you're not married, you have the choice every day to just leave with minimal complications. For most cohabiting couples, I don't think that is true at all. I think most (not all) couples who live together are somewhat tied in together whether financially, socially, or even just smaller things like a shared pet and/or lease. I think it's more similar to marriage in all senses, if not legally binding. I think most couples who live together have almost as hard a time splitting as a no kids divorce.
  • tuddy315
    tuddy315 Posts: 11,601 Member
    I agree @seltzermint555. My roommate and I have lived together since 1999. We share no romantic relationship, but everything is jointly owned...vehicles, houses, etc. If we were to split, I'm sure it would be no different than a divorce when it comes down to dividing things up. Who buys whom out? Not to mention the 2 dogs who would freak out if separated because they are brothers. I could not split them up.
  • CoffeeAndContour
    CoffeeAndContour Posts: 1,466 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Well he won’t agree that we should have a black accent wall in our dining room so I’m really not sure he’s the one anymore.

    .... what if he's right ??

    He isn’t.
  • ColdDawning
    ColdDawning Posts: 36 Member
    I really hate sharing bed.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    ro175 wrote: »
    I didn’t get married the second time because of the first time.

    And I'm not getting married the third time, because of the other two times :smiley:

    This.. :laugh: