WHY do people CHEAT?
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This might be the first time I disagree with you. Because NO ONE can define real love. They may have their ideas of what it may be, but again that's subjective. Honor in many societies plays a part of culture. And in many, certain actions will demand hard consequences including death regardless of how much one loves that person. And people would ask, how could you do that to someone you're supposed to love?
But couldn't love be subjective? One could be in love with more than one person at a time. With 7 billion people in the world, unless you've met everyone who was a potential spouse, how could one be 100% sure they chose the "forever" one?Many reasons but one thing is for sure and no one can convince me otherwise, is that if one cheats, then they don’t love their partner. Period.
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Nope. You can’t be in love with more than in at a time. Those people don’t know what real love is.
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2 -
So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?MeatVehicle wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first
maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
"not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.
I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
4 -
So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?MeatVehicle wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first
maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
"not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.
I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?1 -
Agree. Even back in Biblical times, polygamy was practiced and even mentioned in the Bible.SERobinsonJr wrote: »Soooooo not to come off like an a-hole, but....
Monogamy is a recent invention. The majority of all human cultures have actually practice polygamy and many still do. Men and women have evolved for millions of years to seek lots of sex with many partners to ensure the survival of the species. The modern monogamous culture has only been around for just 1,000 years. 1000 years is nothing compared to how long evolution programmed us to hump everyone. This modern cultural and social norm has placed heavy objections on sex and sex practices and tires to make people suppress the need to have it.
But I digress. Just be honest with your partner.
PS: It's Hump Day. Stop asking for *kitten* pics you Neanderthals.
And it's usually religion that has the impact on monogamy with many people in the world being religious.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
3 -
I don't think you got what I said. If you had a spouse that continually berated you (even after discussing it bothers you) and doesn't believe you're the best person and say continually talks about others that you should be like, you're gonna take that for decades and be happy about it? Sorry man, but working in my business, I get an earful of very unhappy people in relationships all the time. And IMO, if they feel crapped upon by their spouse continually with no resolve, there's no reason to stay committed to that relationship. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. You CANNOT GET BACK TIME LOST. There are better ways to spend your life than to just put up with someone who doesn't appreciate nor really cares for you. There's a difference in just irritating behavior that's occasional and total disconcern.MeatVehicle wrote: »
So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?MeatVehicle wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first
maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
"not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.
I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
10 -
Maybe this should move over to debate? 🤷🏼♂️
That would be fun to see.2 -
This might be the first time I disagree with you. Because NO ONE can define real love. They may have their ideas of what it may be, but again that's subjective. Honor in many societies plays a part of culture. And in many, certain actions will demand hard consequences including death regardless of how much one loves that person. And people would ask, how could you do that to someone you're supposed to love?
But couldn't love be subjective? One could be in love with more than one person at a time. With 7 billion people in the world, unless you've met everyone who was a potential spouse, how could one be 100% sure they chose the "forever" one?Many reasons but one thing is for sure and no one can convince me otherwise, is that if one cheats, then they don’t love their partner. Period.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Nope. You can’t be in love with more than in at a time. Those people don’t know what real love is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Well obviously this is my opinion. If I’m in love with someone or even just love them, there is no way I can cheat on them. No way. It doesn’t matter if we are long distance, haven’t had sex in a year, I feel unappreciated, or anything else. When you love someone you don’t cheat. But, I’m loyal like that.5 -
I don't think you got what I said. If you had a spouse that continually berated you (even after discussing it bothers you) and doesn't believe you're the best person and say continually talks about others that you should be like, you're gonna take that for decades and be happy about it? Sorry man, but working in my business, I get an earful of very unhappy people in relationships all the time. And IMO, if they feel crapped upon by their spouse continually with no resolve, there's no reason to stay committed to that relationship. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. You CANNOT GET BACK TIME LOST. There are better ways to spend your life than to just put up with someone who doesn't appreciate nor really cares for you. There's a difference in just irritating behavior that's occasional and total disconcern.MeatVehicle wrote: »
So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?MeatVehicle wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first
maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
"not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.
I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
That's some heavy stuff you got into. I thought we were just talking about the minor irritants.1 -
I was refuting your statement of "making a commitment when you marry someone and taking the good with the bad". If the bad is really bad, how long do you stay in that commitment?MeatVehicle wrote: »
I don't think you got what I said. If you had a spouse that continually berated you (even after discussing it bothers you) and doesn't believe you're the best person and say continually talks about others that you should be like, you're gonna take that for decades and be happy about it? Sorry man, but working in my business, I get an earful of very unhappy people in relationships all the time. And IMO, if they feel crapped upon by their spouse continually with no resolve, there's no reason to stay committed to that relationship. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. You CANNOT GET BACK TIME LOST. There are better ways to spend your life than to just put up with someone who doesn't appreciate nor really cares for you. There's a difference in just irritating behavior that's occasional and total disconcern.MeatVehicle wrote: »
So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?MeatVehicle wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first
maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
"not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.
I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
That's some heavy stuff you got into. I thought we were just talking about the minor irritants.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
1 -
I agree. While we are the superior species in terms of intelligence (hopefully) on this planet, there are still instinctual things we retain and no man made laws usually will discourage it.Maybe this should move over to debate? 🤷🏼♂️
That would be fun to see.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
2 -
I don't think you got what I said. If you had a spouse that continually berated you (even after discussing it bothers you) and doesn't believe you're the best person and say continually talks about others that you should be like, you're gonna take that for decades and be happy about it? Sorry man, but working in my business, I get an earful of very unhappy people in relationships all the time. And IMO, if they feel crapped upon by their spouse continually with no resolve, there's no reason to stay committed to that relationship. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. You CANNOT GET BACK TIME LOST. There are better ways to spend your life than to just put up with someone who doesn't appreciate nor really cares for you. There's a difference in just irritating behavior that's occasional and total disconcern.MeatVehicle wrote: »
So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?MeatVehicle wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first
maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
"not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.
I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yes, this is one of those 'life is too short' events.
Everyone deserves the chance to be happy; life is too short not to be. And if you're truly not happy, physically/emotionally abused, have grown too far apart to ever find your way back, etc., etc., then find a way to be happy.
Let's face it, dating is like being sold a car. It's all bright and shiny, everything's brand new, the salesman does a great job of selling. Then 2, 3, 8, whatever years down the road, you realize it was a huge mistake because you discover that car is drinking excessively or cracking jokes at your expense or never listening to a thing you say, beats the children or you, or you find you've lost yourself completely and no longer feel you matter to anyone......ok try to use my analogy the way it's intended cause I'm no good at those things. But really, people do change and sometimes in a dramatically worse way.
I'm not saying that makes cheating the right thing to do and I'm not saying people should give up after a couple 'minor hiccups' but if love loss is evident, changes need to happen.6 -
Yep. And bad or non existant relationships don't only affect the 2 involved, but may affect children and their view of how a marriage is construed. I'm not a person who'll just settle. If I'm not getting something out of time and effort I put into something, then I'll move on. And that goes with anything I do in life.
I don't think you got what I said. If you had a spouse that continually berated you (even after discussing it bothers you) and doesn't believe you're the best person and say continually talks about others that you should be like, you're gonna take that for decades and be happy about it? Sorry man, but working in my business, I get an earful of very unhappy people in relationships all the time. And IMO, if they feel crapped upon by their spouse continually with no resolve, there's no reason to stay committed to that relationship. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. You CANNOT GET BACK TIME LOST. There are better ways to spend your life than to just put up with someone who doesn't appreciate nor really cares for you. There's a difference in just irritating behavior that's occasional and total disconcern.MeatVehicle wrote: »
So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?MeatVehicle wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first
maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
"not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.
I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yes, this is one of those 'life is too short' events. Everyone deserves the chance to be happy; life is too short not to be. And if you're truly not happy, physically/emotionally abused, have grown too far apart to ever find your way back, etc., etc., then find a way to be happy.
Let's face it, dating is like being sold a car. It's all bright and shiny, everything's brand new, the salesman does a great job of selling. Then 2, 3, 8, whatever years down the road, you realize it was a huge mistake because you discover that car is drinking excessively or cracking jokes at your expense or never listening to a thing you say, beats the children or you, or you find you've lost yourself completely and no longer feel you matter to anyone......ok try to use my analogy the way it's intended cause I'm no good at those things. But really, people do change and sometimes in a dramatically worse way.
I'm not saying that makes cheating the right thing to do and I'm not saying people should give up after a couple 'minor hiccups' but if love loss is evident, changes need to happen.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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4
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MeatVehicle wrote: »
That is pretty funny, and will probably get you a warning. It is a divisive topic.
That being said, it made me laugh out loud at work. Luckily, I am W@H right now.3 -
Always because of fear.. fear of hurting the other person or fear that they'll regret their decision if they leave, maybe fear of being alone.... I think working in a nursing home when I was young helped me a lot in that I realize life is too short to be with someone that you're not completely enamored with. I'd rather be straight with someone if I even start thinking about being with someone else, and give us both the freedom to guiltlessly pursue happiness elsewhere.5
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I agree. But there are people out there that won't let people go because they just........won't.Always because of fear.. fear of hurting the other person or fear that they'll regret their decision if they leave, maybe fear of being alone.... I think working in a nursing home when I was young helped me a lot in that I realize life is too short to be with someone that you're not completely enamored with. I'd rather be straight with someone if I even start thinking about being with someone else, and give us both the freedom to guiltlessly pursue happiness elsewhere.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
1 -
Yep. And bad or non existant relationships don't only affect the 2 involved, but may affect children and their view of how a marriage is construed. I'm not a person who'll just settle. If I'm not getting something out of time and effort I put into something, then I'll move on. And that goes with anything I do in life.
I don't think you got what I said. If you had a spouse that continually berated you (even after discussing it bothers you) and doesn't believe you're the best person and say continually talks about others that you should be like, you're gonna take that for decades and be happy about it? Sorry man, but working in my business, I get an earful of very unhappy people in relationships all the time. And IMO, if they feel crapped upon by their spouse continually with no resolve, there's no reason to stay committed to that relationship. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. You CANNOT GET BACK TIME LOST. There are better ways to spend your life than to just put up with someone who doesn't appreciate nor really cares for you. There's a difference in just irritating behavior that's occasional and total disconcern.MeatVehicle wrote: »
So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?MeatVehicle wrote: »PAWGliacci wrote: »spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first
maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
"not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.
I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yes, this is one of those 'life is too short' events. Everyone deserves the chance to be happy; life is too short not to be. And if you're truly not happy, physically/emotionally abused, have grown too far apart to ever find your way back, etc., etc., then find a way to be happy.
Let's face it, dating is like being sold a car. It's all bright and shiny, everything's brand new, the salesman does a great job of selling. Then 2, 3, 8, whatever years down the road, you realize it was a huge mistake because you discover that car is drinking excessively or cracking jokes at your expense or never listening to a thing you say, beats the children or you, or you find you've lost yourself completely and no longer feel you matter to anyone......ok try to use my analogy the way it's intended cause I'm no good at those things. But really, people do change and sometimes in a dramatically worse way.
I'm not saying that makes cheating the right thing to do and I'm not saying people should give up after a couple 'minor hiccups' but if love loss is evident, changes need to happen.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yessss..0 -
Looking for greener grass is pointless. Grass only gets greener with maintenance and care. If you find green grass you maintain it to keep it that way. If you can't do that then no matter the grass it will brown dry up.7
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Again, unless you've met the 7 billion people on Earth face to face, how can you say that?Be_theBest_Me wrote: »Looking for greener grass is pointless. Grass only gets greener with maintenance and care. If you find green grass you maintain it to keep it that way. If you can't do that then no matter the grass it will brown dry up.
If the "grass" you have at home, and it starts going bad and no amount of watering, fertilizing, care, etc. improves it, then either "resodding" or "renewing your lawn" is likely. It's NOT always about the caretaker though. There is such a thing as "bad grass".
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
5
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