WHY do people CHEAT?

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  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,679 Member
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    nooshi713 wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    Many reasons but one thing is for sure and no one can convince me otherwise, is that if one cheats, then they don’t love their partner. Period.
    But couldn't love be subjective? One could be in love with more than one person at a time. With 7 billion people in the world, unless you've met everyone who was a potential spouse, how could one be 100% sure they chose the "forever" one?


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    Nope. You can’t be in love with more than in at a time. Those people don’t know what real love is.
    This might be the first time I disagree with you. Because NO ONE can define real love. They may have their ideas of what it may be, but again that's subjective. Honor in many societies plays a part of culture. And in many, certain actions will demand hard consequences including death regardless of how much one loves that person. And people would ask, how could you do that to someone you're supposed to love?

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  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,679 Member
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    PAWGliacci wrote: »
    spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first

    maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
    maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
    "not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
    etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.

    I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
    So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?


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  • MeatVehicle
    MeatVehicle Posts: 31 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    PAWGliacci wrote: »
    spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first

    maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
    maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
    "not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
    etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.

    I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
    So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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    Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,679 Member
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    Soooooo not to come off like an a-hole, but....

    Monogamy is a recent invention. The majority of all human cultures have actually practice polygamy and many still do. Men and women have evolved for millions of years to seek lots of sex with many partners to ensure the survival of the species. The modern monogamous culture has only been around for just 1,000 years. 1000 years is nothing compared to how long evolution programmed us to hump everyone. This modern cultural and social norm has placed heavy objections on sex and sex practices and tires to make people suppress the need to have it.

    But I digress. Just be honest with your partner.

    PS: It's Hump Day. Stop asking for *kitten* pics you Neanderthals.
    Agree. Even back in Biblical times, polygamy was practiced and even mentioned in the Bible.
    And it's usually religion that has the impact on monogamy with many people in the world being religious.


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  • tmanfive
    tmanfive Posts: 1,365 Member
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    Maybe this should move over to debate? 🤷🏼‍♂️

    That would be fun to see.
  • MeatVehicle
    MeatVehicle Posts: 31 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    PAWGliacci wrote: »
    spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first

    maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
    maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
    "not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
    etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.

    I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
    So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
    I don't think you got what I said. If you had a spouse that continually berated you (even after discussing it bothers you) and doesn't believe you're the best person and say continually talks about others that you should be like, you're gonna take that for decades and be happy about it? Sorry man, but working in my business, I get an earful of very unhappy people in relationships all the time. And IMO, if they feel crapped upon by their spouse continually with no resolve, there's no reason to stay committed to that relationship. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. You CANNOT GET BACK TIME LOST. There are better ways to spend your life than to just put up with someone who doesn't appreciate nor really cares for you. There's a difference in just irritating behavior that's occasional and total disconcern.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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    That's some heavy stuff you got into. I thought we were just talking about the minor irritants.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,679 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    PAWGliacci wrote: »
    spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first

    maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
    maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
    "not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
    etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.

    I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
    So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
    I don't think you got what I said. If you had a spouse that continually berated you (even after discussing it bothers you) and doesn't believe you're the best person and say continually talks about others that you should be like, you're gonna take that for decades and be happy about it? Sorry man, but working in my business, I get an earful of very unhappy people in relationships all the time. And IMO, if they feel crapped upon by their spouse continually with no resolve, there's no reason to stay committed to that relationship. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. You CANNOT GET BACK TIME LOST. There are better ways to spend your life than to just put up with someone who doesn't appreciate nor really cares for you. There's a difference in just irritating behavior that's occasional and total disconcern.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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    That's some heavy stuff you got into. I thought we were just talking about the minor irritants.
    I was refuting your statement of "making a commitment when you marry someone and taking the good with the bad". If the bad is really bad, how long do you stay in that commitment?


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,679 Member
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    tmanfive wrote: »
    Maybe this should move over to debate? 🤷🏼‍♂️

    That would be fun to see.
    I agree. While we are the superior species in terms of intelligence (hopefully) on this planet, there are still instinctual things we retain and no man made laws usually will discourage it.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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  • amorfati601070
    amorfati601070 Posts: 2,884 Member
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    🚲❤️ 🚲❤️ 🚲❤️

    https://youtu.be/fYGPcfUqzL0

    Theme song
  • MeatVehicle
    MeatVehicle Posts: 31 Member
    edited July 2021
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    🚲❤️ 🚲❤️ 🚲❤️

    https://youtu.be/fYGPcfUqzL0

    Theme song


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  • JessD9031
    JessD9031 Posts: 581 Member
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    qx2s9doj3u4g.jpg

    That is pretty funny, and will probably get you a warning. It is a divisive topic.

    That being said, it made me laugh out loud at work. Luckily, I am W@H right now.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,679 Member
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    NVintage wrote: »
    Always because of fear.. fear of hurting the other person or fear that they'll regret their decision if they leave, maybe fear of being alone.... I think working in a nursing home when I was young helped me a lot in that I realize life is too short to be with someone that you're not completely enamored with. I'd rather be straight with someone if I even start thinking about being with someone else, and give us both the freedom to guiltlessly pursue happiness elsewhere.
    I agree. But there are people out there that won't let people go because they just........won't.

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  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    PAWGliacci wrote: »
    spend enough time with someone you love and eventually you're going to see the little things that you didn't notice at first

    maybe they drag the fork across their teeth while they're eating
    maybe they regularly forget to flush the toilet
    "not a morning person" and they take it out on you every morning
    etc etc. doesn't matter what these little things are, eventually you'll notice. now add years to the equation.

    I would argue that none of this is an excuse to leave the other person, especially if you've been together for many years. You make a commitment when you marry somebody. You take the good with the bad, and nobody is perfect.
    So even if you're UNHAPPY with this person the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you should stay committed?


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    Everyone, and I mean everyone will 1000% eventually find some little things they dislike about the other person. Are you gonna scrap the entire relationship over the minor hiccups?
    I don't think you got what I said. If you had a spouse that continually berated you (even after discussing it bothers you) and doesn't believe you're the best person and say continually talks about others that you should be like, you're gonna take that for decades and be happy about it? Sorry man, but working in my business, I get an earful of very unhappy people in relationships all the time. And IMO, if they feel crapped upon by their spouse continually with no resolve, there's no reason to stay committed to that relationship. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. You CANNOT GET BACK TIME LOST. There are better ways to spend your life than to just put up with someone who doesn't appreciate nor really cares for you. There's a difference in just irritating behavior that's occasional and total disconcern.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png




    Yes, this is one of those 'life is too short' events. :) Everyone deserves the chance to be happy; life is too short not to be. And if you're truly not happy, physically/emotionally abused, have grown too far apart to ever find your way back, etc., etc., then find a way to be happy.
    Let's face it, dating is like being sold a car. It's all bright and shiny, everything's brand new, the salesman does a great job of selling. Then 2, 3, 8, whatever years down the road, you realize it was a huge mistake because you discover that car is drinking excessively or cracking jokes at your expense or never listening to a thing you say, beats the children or you, or you find you've lost yourself completely and no longer feel you matter to anyone......ok try to use my analogy the way it's intended cause I'm no good at those things. :) But really, people do change and sometimes in a dramatically worse way.
    I'm not saying that makes cheating the right thing to do and I'm not saying people should give up after a couple 'minor hiccups' but if love loss is evident, changes need to happen.
    Yep. And bad or non existant relationships don't only affect the 2 involved, but may affect children and their view of how a marriage is construed. I'm not a person who'll just settle. If I'm not getting something out of time and effort I put into something, then I'll move on. And that goes with anything I do in life.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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    Yessss..