Ideal Number
Options
Replies
-
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
that’s not how i remember it.Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »ArmyVeteran makes a good point: context is everything.
I came of age in the 70s, the time of "if it feels good do it", before AIDS and herpes came along. The worst disease you could catch was curable. Reliable birth control existed. Religious prohibitions were not a factor for me, nor did I live in a particularly religious community.
You can't judge someone's numbers by the standards of a different culture, or era.
Of course, men who are contemporary with me share the same background and lived the same history. Probably why none of us are interested in each other's tallies.
Another good point, some probably don't remember... Even in the 80s and early 90s HIV was pretty unheard of...(and seriously no offense to anyone, but the media at the time sold it as a disease only homosexual men got); straight females (sounds crazy) had very little fear of HIV/AIDS until a lifetime movie based on a true story, starring Jennie Garth, aired I think in the mid 90s.
I was military (USAF)... Like another commenter, that's where most of numbers came from. Over 20 men to every 1 female on base, and nothing to do in down time except drink and party. I used say the military training bases were like one giant non stop orgy!
i remember it in the news a lot during that time. i remember protests for funding.
there are factors that STILL put a person at greater risk such as, multiple partners, no condoms, IV drug use, acts that cause tearing, having a partner who’s on the DL. Yes, we knew this in the early 90s.
my mom is an RN who made home visits during throughout eighties and early nineties. She had AIDS patients when it was still a death sentence.
and we had friends - straight, female friends who died from it.
Maybe I was just more aware of it than average.
I remember this as well....my prior job worked very closely with the Ryan White foundation....it was obviously later....but it was a very terrifying tragic time....I feel there is still so much to be done in especially in areas of great population and poverty ....it is treatable with medication and the ability to acquire or actually the want to recieve it but it's still very much an epidemic ...we had a young mother from Nigeria explain how her husband would not use or allow her to use contraception due to his uneducated beliefs that it was emasculating to him ...he dies at 29 due to AIDS complications...leaving her and 3 of her 6 children infected and alone ...we have come a long way baby but it's still very much and very sadly an issue....heartbreaking 💔
Hug your mom for me!🤗1 -
I think it depends on where you live. I remember first hearing about AIDS cases in New York maybe mid 80s? The first cases didn't appear here in Canada until some time later. And it was still spoken of as confined to gay male and IV drug populations for several years afterwards.
that may be. we were in nyc.0 -
Agree, probably a location thing... Especially if you were in a big city. I remember the news always going into gay-bars and interviewing homosexual males about the AIDS epidemic in their community. The media also started focusing on which Hollywood actors were "coming out" and they would always bring up the fight against AIDS in the gay community.
They also put fear into getting blood transfusions. There was a lot of confusion on how it was spread back then too: people panicked over using public drinking fountains, fear of public toilet seats.
I didn't know anyone (in person) who had HIV/Aids until the mid 90s, and she was a straight female, married, but her husband didn't have it.
That movie was to warn that anyone can get it, despite sexual orientation, social class, or ethnicity.
1 -
i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yeah, having a mother "in the Know" and being in the city... You were definitely more informed than most of the general US population!
The link is interesting and shows the increase year by year. It explains why it wasn't common knowledge through the 80s to even early 90s, and why general population wasn't too scared at that time. 100,000 - 500,000 confirmed cases in those years sounds like a lot, but would have still made it seem rare in a world population of around 6,000,000,000. As shown in the link, in the mid 90s (when confirmed cases hit millions), I believe that is when people everywhere started taking notice and considering it a risk. (Being pulled out of our suburban invincibility bubbles).
The link is very informative, shows the rapid increase and some of what the media focused on...
Thanks for sharing that. Don't apologise!!! It is an important topic! Safe sex can never be stressed enough!
1 -
I was focusing on the fact that transmission pathways were clarified by 1983. If the general population was confused about it, it was for reasons other than science. 🙁Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yeah, having a mother "in the Know" and being in the city... You were definitely more informed than most of the general US population!
The link is interesting and shows the increase year by year. It explains why it wasn't common knowledge through the 80s to even early 90s, and why general population wasn't too scared at that time. 100,000 - 500,000 confirmed cases in those years sounds like a lot, but would have still made it seem rare in a world population of around 6,000,000,000. As shown in the link, in the mid 90s (when confirmed cases hit millions), I believe that is when people everywhere started taking notice and considering it a risk.
The link is very informative, shows the rapid increase and some of what the media focused on...
Thanks for sharing that, and It is an important topic! Safe sex can never be stressed enough!
I’m thinking now too that my friends and I must have been especially frank in our discussions as teenagers. I remember clearly having the talk about how lamb skin condoms don’t prevent transmission and how people sensitive to latex are SOL. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I only found out years later that other people weren’t having these conversations.
3 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I was focusing on the fact that transmission pathways were clarified by 1983. If the general population was confused about it, it was for reasons other than science. 🙁Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yeah, having a mother "in the Know" and being in the city... You were definitely more informed than most of the general US population!
The link is interesting and shows the increase year by year. It explains why it wasn't common knowledge through the 80s to even early 90s, and why general population wasn't too scared at that time. 100,000 - 500,000 confirmed cases in those years sounds like a lot, but would have still made it seem rare in a world population of around 6,000,000,000. As shown in the link, in the mid 90s (when confirmed cases hit millions), I believe that is when people everywhere started taking notice and considering it a risk.
The link is very informative, shows the rapid increase and some of what the media focused on...
Thanks for sharing that, and It is an important topic! Safe sex can never be stressed enough!
I’m thinking now too that my friends and I must have been especially frank in our discussions as teenagers. I remember clearly having the talk about how lamb skin condoms don’t prevent transmission and how people sensitive to latex are SOL. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I only found out years later that other people weren’t having these conversations.
LOL... You're right!!
And correct... Ignorance of the science was the issue. Sorry, making same point, different perspective. Because the knowledge source for me (and most people I knew) at that time was media (mainstream news) not based off science and facts!
LOL... Society in general wasn't as informed as today. The internet might have been invented, but it was a black DOS type of screen for chat rooms. Most didn't even have home computers, unless for playing Oregon Trail. 1995 was the first time I saw anything user friendly with Windows 1995. So, when the tv news on all "5" of our channels said beware of water fountains...we believed it!?!? lol
1 -
Ah windows 95. Nostalgia hit.
Tbh, I didn't hear about Aids till 2003. I was 16 at the time, and they taught it in health class. I didn't realize it was that big a problem till them. And didn't fully understand it till a few years later.1 -
Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I was focusing on the fact that transmission pathways were clarified by 1983. If the general population was confused about it, it was for reasons other than science. 🙁Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yeah, having a mother "in the Know" and being in the city... You were definitely more informed than most of the general US population!
The link is interesting and shows the increase year by year. It explains why it wasn't common knowledge through the 80s to even early 90s, and why general population wasn't too scared at that time. 100,000 - 500,000 confirmed cases in those years sounds like a lot, but would have still made it seem rare in a world population of around 6,000,000,000. As shown in the link, in the mid 90s (when confirmed cases hit millions), I believe that is when people everywhere started taking notice and considering it a risk.
The link is very informative, shows the rapid increase and some of what the media focused on...
Thanks for sharing that, and It is an important topic! Safe sex can never be stressed enough!
I’m thinking now too that my friends and I must have been especially frank in our discussions as teenagers. I remember clearly having the talk about how lamb skin condoms don’t prevent transmission and how people sensitive to latex are SOL. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I only found out years later that other people weren’t having these conversations.
LOL... You're right!!
And correct... Ignorance of the science was the issue. Sorry, making same point, different perspective. Because the knowledge source for me (and most people I knew) at that time was media (mainstream news) not based off science and facts!
LOL... Society in general wasn't as informed as today. The internet might have been invented, but it was a black DOS type of screen for chat rooms. Most didn't even have home computers, unless for playing Oregon Trail. 1995 was the first time I saw anything user friendly with Windows 1995. So, when the tv news on all "5" of our channels said beware of water fountains...we believed it!?!? lol
We’ve had really different experiences all around. 😂 Totally not contradicting you. It’s just really interesting to me. amazing really. I was on an Apple at work by around 1989 or 90. The screen was white and black but very visual and easy to use. It used icons that weren’t dissimilar to what we see today.2 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I was focusing on the fact that transmission pathways were clarified by 1983. If the general population was confused about it, it was for reasons other than science. 🙁Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yeah, having a mother "in the Know" and being in the city... You were definitely more informed than most of the general US population!
The link is interesting and shows the increase year by year. It explains why it wasn't common knowledge through the 80s to even early 90s, and why general population wasn't too scared at that time. 100,000 - 500,000 confirmed cases in those years sounds like a lot, but would have still made it seem rare in a world population of around 6,000,000,000. As shown in the link, in the mid 90s (when confirmed cases hit millions), I believe that is when people everywhere started taking notice and considering it a risk.
The link is very informative, shows the rapid increase and some of what the media focused on...
Thanks for sharing that, and It is an important topic! Safe sex can never be stressed enough!
I’m thinking now too that my friends and I must have been especially frank in our discussions as teenagers. I remember clearly having the talk about how lamb skin condoms don’t prevent transmission and how people sensitive to latex are SOL. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I only found out years later that other people weren’t having these conversations.
LOL... You're right!!
And correct... Ignorance of the science was the issue. Sorry, making same point, different perspective. Because the knowledge source for me (and most people I knew) at that time was media (mainstream news) not based off science and facts!
LOL... Society in general wasn't as informed as today. The internet might have been invented, but it was a black DOS type of screen for chat rooms. Most didn't even have home computers, unless for playing Oregon Trail. 1995 was the first time I saw anything user friendly with Windows 1995. So, when the tv news on all "5" of our channels said beware of water fountains...we believed it!?!? lol
We’ve had really different experiences all around. 😂 Totally not contradicting you. It’s just really interesting to me. amazing really. I was on an Apple at work by around 1989 or 90. The screen was white and black but very visual and easy to use. It used icons that weren’t dissimilar to what we see today.
LMAO... You spoiled City people!!
Nah, seriously, those Apples back then, in my neck of the woods, were only in the "rich" families' homes and in a few schools. I remember them, but never used one. My high school still offered typing class on typewriters, no personal computing classes until after I was out.
When I typed that last cynical bit on previous comment, I was just thinking how ironic it is to be able to pull up more information now from an internet link on topics from 80s and early 90s than any information I would've ever been exposed to at that time.
My first home computer that had Windows 98 and AOL dial up was 1999. Didn't grow up with cable. 5 channels wasn't an exaggeration... It was 3 that actually played news (ABC, NBC, and CBS).
But, this was all fairly common where I grew up, so I didn't feel deprived... Until just now, 😂.
1 -
I don’t care about previous people before me and I wouldn’t date someone, who asks all about my past partner(s). I’d be willing to take a STD test to show I’m clean and want to see their results. How about that 🤷🏻♀️4
-
But I bet you had athletic fields and homecoming and things like that. 😊Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I was focusing on the fact that transmission pathways were clarified by 1983. If the general population was confused about it, it was for reasons other than science. 🙁Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yeah, having a mother "in the Know" and being in the city... You were definitely more informed than most of the general US population!
The link is interesting and shows the increase year by year. It explains why it wasn't common knowledge through the 80s to even early 90s, and why general population wasn't too scared at that time. 100,000 - 500,000 confirmed cases in those years sounds like a lot, but would have still made it seem rare in a world population of around 6,000,000,000. As shown in the link, in the mid 90s (when confirmed cases hit millions), I believe that is when people everywhere started taking notice and considering it a risk.
The link is very informative, shows the rapid increase and some of what the media focused on...
Thanks for sharing that, and It is an important topic! Safe sex can never be stressed enough!
I’m thinking now too that my friends and I must have been especially frank in our discussions as teenagers. I remember clearly having the talk about how lamb skin condoms don’t prevent transmission and how people sensitive to latex are SOL. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I only found out years later that other people weren’t having these conversations.
LOL... You're right!!
And correct... Ignorance of the science was the issue. Sorry, making same point, different perspective. Because the knowledge source for me (and most people I knew) at that time was media (mainstream news) not based off science and facts!
LOL... Society in general wasn't as informed as today. The internet might have been invented, but it was a black DOS type of screen for chat rooms. Most didn't even have home computers, unless for playing Oregon Trail. 1995 was the first time I saw anything user friendly with Windows 1995. So, when the tv news on all "5" of our channels said beware of water fountains...we believed it!?!? lol
We’ve had really different experiences all around. 😂 Totally not contradicting you. It’s just really interesting to me. amazing really. I was on an Apple at work by around 1989 or 90. The screen was white and black but very visual and easy to use. It used icons that weren’t dissimilar to what we see today.
LMAO... You spoiled City people!!
Nah, seriously, those Apples back then, in my neck of the woods, were only in the "rich" families' homes and in a few schools. I remember them, but never used one. My high school still offered typing class on typewriters, no personal computing classes until after I was out.
When I typed that last cynical bit on previous comment, I was just thinking how ironic it is to be able to pull up more information now from an internet link on topics from 80s and early 90s than any information I would've ever been exposed to at that time.
My first home computer that had Windows 98 and AOL dial up was 1999. Didn't grow up with cable. 5 channels wasn't an exaggeration... It was 3 that actually played news (ABC, NBC, and CBS).
But, this was all fairly common where I grew up, so I didn't feel deprived... Until just now, 😂.
To keep to the thread. I don’t know my number. I had a list once but I threw it out when I married in 1997. I blocked most of that out because promiscuity didn’t satisfy me. It wasn’t quality sex. I didn’t know what I was looking for and didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted even when I did.
I am much better at asking for what I want now, mostly because I own my sexuality and don’t engage with people who make me feel judged.
I had a very LONG stretch of monogamy. And then a bit of a stretch of celibacy.
The confident grown men I talk to seem to know better than to ask the question. In fact, I’d venture to say it’s not even something they care much about. I will talk about it in the right context but asking is often a red flag.
4 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yes, and remember there was no internet then, so what we heard was limited to what mainstream media covered. And a health issue in NY would maybe get a paragraph on the international page of my local paper once in a while, depending on what other news in the world overshadowed it at the time. We didn't normally get coverage of alarmist stuff, it would usually wait for some official news from somewhere like CDC before it got picked up.2 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yes, and remember there was no internet then, so what we heard was limited to what mainstream media covered. And a health issue in NY would maybe get a paragraph on the international page of my local paper once in a while, depending on what other news in the world overshadowed it at the time. We didn't normally get coverage of alarmist stuff, it would usually wait for some official news from somewhere like CDC before it got picked up.
Yes, and I really do need to thank her because she educated not only me, but apparently all my friends through me as well. It’s giving me the warm fuzzies to think she may have saved more than just patients.2 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yes, and remember there was no internet then, so what we heard was limited to what mainstream media covered. And a health issue in NY would maybe get a paragraph on the international page of my local paper once in a while, depending on what other news in the world overshadowed it at the time. We didn't normally get coverage of alarmist stuff, it would usually wait for some official news from somewhere like CDC before it got picked up.
Yes, and I really do need to thank her because she educated not only me, but apparently all my friends through me as well. It’s giving me the warm fuzzies to think she may have saved more than just patients.
Definitely! You were lucky to get accurate information, probably well ahead of the general population, at a time when you all would have been making choices about sexual behaviour.
My generation, and preceding ones, had to pick up that knowledge on our own (if we did). Our sex ed consisted of syphilis, gonorrhea, and pregnancy prevention, not *kitten* that could kill you, or that you could carry around with you for life. Those of us who experienced relationship breakdown and ending up dating later in life were sometimes clueless.2 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yes, and remember there was no internet then, so what we heard was limited to what mainstream media covered. And a health issue in NY would maybe get a paragraph on the international page of my local paper once in a while, depending on what other news in the world overshadowed it at the time. We didn't normally get coverage of alarmist stuff, it would usually wait for some official news from somewhere like CDC before it got picked up.
Yes, and I really do need to thank her because she educated not only me, but apparently all my friends through me as well. It’s giving me the warm fuzzies to think she may have saved more than just patients.
Definitely! You were lucky to get accurate information, probably well ahead of the general population, at a time when you all would have been making choices about sexual behaviour.
My generation, and preceding ones, had to pick up that knowledge on our own (if we did). Our sex ed consisted of syphilis, gonorrhea, and pregnancy prevention, not *kitten* that could kill you, or that you could carry around with you for life. Those of us who experienced relationship breakdown and ending up dating later in life were sometimes clueless.
We didn't even get that...Our sex ed was going over the reproductive organs. The first sexually transmitted anything I'd heard of was crabs... Only because of the movie "The Last American Virgin."
On topic: The numbers question doesn't come up too often in real life... I've only had one guy ask since my husband had asked (years into our marriage). Although might not get asked numbers, because I like to play sweet and innocent sometimes. Just for fun!
2 -
Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »i’m sorry to continue to derail this thread but i think it’s an interesting and important digression.
here’s an AIDS timeline
https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/overview
ETA: i think my awareness of it was heightened by my mother beating the drum. “You can’t get it from casual contact.” over and over to ignorant people
Yes, and remember there was no internet then, so what we heard was limited to what mainstream media covered. And a health issue in NY would maybe get a paragraph on the international page of my local paper once in a while, depending on what other news in the world overshadowed it at the time. We didn't normally get coverage of alarmist stuff, it would usually wait for some official news from somewhere like CDC before it got picked up.
Yes, and I really do need to thank her because she educated not only me, but apparently all my friends through me as well. It’s giving me the warm fuzzies to think she may have saved more than just patients.
Definitely! You were lucky to get accurate information, probably well ahead of the general population, at a time when you all would have been making choices about sexual behaviour.
My generation, and preceding ones, had to pick up that knowledge on our own (if we did). Our sex ed consisted of syphilis, gonorrhea, and pregnancy prevention, not *kitten* that could kill you, or that you could carry around with you for life. Those of us who experienced relationship breakdown and ending up dating later in life were sometimes clueless.
We didn't even get that...Our sex ed was going over the reproductive organs. The first sexually transmitted anything I'd heard of was crabs... Only because of the movie "The Last American Virgin."
On topic: The numbers question doesn't come up too often in real life... I've only had one guy ask since my husband had asked (years into our marriage). Although might not get asked numbers, because I like to play sweet and innocent sometimes. Just for fun!
Thanks to this side trail, I inflicted more sex talk on my kids. I even showed them a condom.
Their questions were precious (ages, 10-14).
“So, how do you get babies without sex?” asked one.
“You don’t,” I answered. (Please, I can’t go into every exception in one conversation.)
“But, that means... You had sex?”
“Of course.”
“But why do people have sex?” he wanted to know.
“Because it feels good. And sometimes to make babies.”
4 -
when's the last time y'all got tested though4
-
-
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
back in February i think. usually go at least once a year.5
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 401 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 995 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions