Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..
Replies
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PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
hesitantly curious with the knowledge it's probably gonna be something negative or angry on their part.2 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
Depends on the ex, but honestly? Most of it is trouble and I'd avoid.1 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
1?
Depends I guess. I have two guys from around 8+ years ago who pop up in my inboxes or friend requests every now and then. One was my big time relationship and we usually just have some catch up conversation and that’s that until the next check up. The first few months after the breakup though I had to ignore him because the wound was too fresh.
The other was my rebound that I lost my mind over and we just keep adding and deleting each other.....
I think most of my exs contact me at some point but the first one I mentioned was the only one who wanted to meet up and I did. We were good friends for a few years even.1 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
5. I'm sorry, do I know you?2 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
Oh, how I love, @GymGoddessGoals answer 😭🤣. Yet, in reality, I'm the type of person who can get along eith their ex.
Not sure I can go all out and say we're friends but I'm able to friendly with all of them. We shared time together and I can honour that, cheer on their successes and be of some support during hard times.
At the same time, there's no going back into a emotionally deep or physical relationship so boundaries are made clear from the time of the break up (and reinforced/reiterated, if needed).2 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
Assuming it's not my ex that I have kids with...
#2. Exes are exes for a reason - keep the ex in exit.2 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
5. I'm sorry, do I know you?
I need to learn this method 😂2 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
My reaction is usually “huh, they must have something big going on in their life” and that tends to be accurate. I’ve had exes reach out to tell me they’re getting married or having a baby or something. Other times it’s “I’m away on a business trip and remembered that time we..” 🤦🏼♀️
But in general I’m always happy to hear from them. They’re all humans that I got to know quite well, and the idea of severing all contact feels unnecessarily harsh.
I’ve had people do that to me, though, and I understand the reasoning.2 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
As a man... I just will never be able to find it in me to shut someone out... Regardless why life may have took us down different paths...
Once a friend always a friend, and that's not something I say on the outside and try to cultivate inside, that's something that is deep inside, that comes outside...
But I realize it's different for women in today's society... They generally have to be much more guarded...3 -
hey this is a great segue into:
so guys/girls of MFP, what *would* make you cut someone off entirely?
i'd say let's start with it from the perspective of a lover/former/situationship etc etc, but you can expand it to friends/acquaintances if the first doesn't apply.3 -
hey this is a great segue into:
so guys/girls of MFP, what *would* make you cut someone off entirely?
i'd say let's start with it from the perspective of a lover/former/situationship etc etc, but you can expand it to friends/acquaintances if the first doesn't apply.
If they ask me to 🤷🏼♀️
Also if they murder me5 -
PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Guys/girls:
Whats your reaction to ex reaching out to you months to year or longer after break up?
1. Curious and wanna catch up
2. Don't ever contact me again
3. Curious and may wanna grab drinks or more
4. Restraining order
5. Name your own ...
My reaction is usually “huh, they must have something big going on in their life” and that tends to be accurate. I’ve had exes reach out to tell me they’re getting married or having a baby or something. Other times it’s “I’m away on a business trip and remembered that time we..” 🤦🏼♀️
But in general I’m always happy to hear from them. They’re all humans that I got to know quite well, and the idea of severing all contact feels unnecessarily harsh.
I’ve had people do that to me, though, and I understand the reasoning.
... meanwhile they only show up in my life when they want something or are bored.1 -
hey this is a great segue into:
so guys/girls of MFP, what *would* make you cut someone off entirely?
i'd say let's start with it from the perspective of a lover/former/situationship etc etc, but you can expand it to friends/acquaintances if the first doesn't apply.
Deep seeded narcissism you know won't change. People who have clinical NPD have no capacity for true emotions towards others/that aren't self-serving. You can't change them, they won't work on their issues, seek therapy or do anything that is beneficial to anyone but themselves.3 -
hey this is a great segue into:
so guys/girls of MFP, what *would* make you cut someone off entirely?
i'd say let's start with it from the perspective of a lover/former/situationship etc etc, but you can expand it to friends/acquaintances if the first doesn't apply.
Almost my entire childhood/young adulthood circles are cut off. I don't think it would be permanent if I were to recognize change away from whatever drove the wedge. It isn't always an animus situation either. It could just be decisions and actions of a lifestyle that aren't conducive to whatever it is I'm trying to do with my own.5 -
eatpolerepeat wrote: »Guys, when a girl asks you two or maybe three questions in a message, why do you only answer one of them?
I want the answers to the others too damnit 😂
jeez stop asking so many questions its like you trying to put together an FBI profile on someone smh4 -
hey this is a great segue into:
so guys/girls of MFP, what *would* make you cut someone off entirely?
i'd say let's start with it from the perspective of a lover/former/situationship etc etc, but you can expand it to friends/acquaintances if the first doesn't apply.
I may walk away from time to time, but I never turn away...3 -
hey this is a great segue into:
so guys/girls of MFP, what *would* make you cut someone off entirely?
i'd say let's start with it from the perspective of a lover/former/situationship etc etc, but you can expand it to friends/acquaintances if the first doesn't apply.
Anyone who has sexually assaulted myself or that I know (100% verified) has sexually assaulted others. If they engage in stalking behaviors, narcissistic behaviors (not just traits, but full blown behavior like gaslighting, manipulation, withholding emotion or sex, etc.). Given that I have been in situations with individuals who have engaged in or are guilty of these things, I think that cutting them off was the only sane solution.
These people are "toxic" in the truest sense of the word. They will do nothing but take until you are a shell of your former self. Not worth any vested interest on my part.2 -
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hey this is a great segue into:
so guys/girls of MFP, what *would* make you cut someone off entirely?
i'd say let's start with it from the perspective of a lover/former/situationship etc etc, but you can expand it to friends/acquaintances if the first doesn't apply.
It's not really 1 single thing, it's the sum product of all the things.
Relationships are ultimately transactional. You get something from the other person, the other person gets something from you. Relationships don't work when those transactions get too far out of balance, too lopsided. If a relationship is unbalanced to the point it becomes problematic (rather than typical ebbs and flows), then I have no use for the person and dealing with them becomes taxing, at best. Why would I want that?
For context, I have very little interest in casual relationships/interactions. Either I'm all in or I'm all out. Small talking social butterfly I am not.3 -
hey this is a great segue into:
so guys/girls of MFP, what *would* make you cut someone off entirely?
i'd say let's start with it from the perspective of a lover/former/situationship etc etc, but you can expand it to friends/acquaintances if the first doesn't apply.
Gaslighting, manipulation and/or constant deceitfulness (to me or if I know they do it to others). That kind of energy is to be avoided, imho
For the sake of clarity, I'll tell them about themselves (from my pov) before the cut off though.1 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Guys/Ladies: When you respond with an LOL, are you really lol'ing? Do you just not have a response and use it just because?
3 -
eatpolerepeat wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Guys/Ladies: When you respond with an LOL, are you really lol'ing? Do you just not have a response and use it just because?
Lol is usually my response when a guy, or @PaperDoll_ asks for a nude
My response when someone asks for one of your nudes is “cash or credit”? 😏😂2 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Guys/Ladies: When you respond with an LOL, are you really lol'ing? Do you just not have a response and use it just because?
I'll do a thumbs up emoticon if I need to acknowledge a message without actually saying anything. lol can be for anything from a quiet internal chuckle to a literal laugh out loud.0 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Guys/Ladies: When you respond with an LOL, are you really lol'ing? Do you just not have a response and use it just because?
I "
because I'm amused. ... is for when I have nothing to say or am speechless.
2 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Guys/Ladies: When you respond with an LOL, are you really lol'ing? Do you just not have a response and use it just because?
lol3 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Guys/Ladies: When you respond with an LOL, are you really lol'ing? Do you just not have a response and use it just because?
I never
ever
ever
say ‘LOL’
It’s lol
Which means nothing and may as well be a period.4 -
PaperDoll_ wrote: »eatpolerepeat wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Guys/Ladies: When you respond with an LOL, are you really lol'ing? Do you just not have a response and use it just because?
Lol is usually my response when a guy, or @PaperDoll_ asks for a nude
My response when someone asks for one of your nudes is “cash or credit”? 😏😂
that'll be my store credit, please4 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Guys/Ladies: When you respond with an LOL, are you really lol'ing? Do you just not have a response and use it just because?
I never reply with an lol... 😂 Is my lol...
It usually means I didn't literally laugh at loud... But I'm kinda laughing inside 🤷🏽♂️1 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Guys/Ladies: When you respond with an LOL, are you really lol'ing? Do you just not have a response and use it just because?
I never
ever
ever
say ‘LOL’
It’s lol
Which means nothing and may as well be a period.
2 -
eatpolerepeat wrote: »Guys, when a girl asks you two or maybe three questions in a message, why do you only answer one of them?
I want the answers to the others too damnit 😂
I dk, usually I'm the one with all the questions 🤷🏽♂️😂1
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