Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..

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  • stljam
    stljam Posts: 512 Member
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    Guys/girls:

    Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t

    For me, I had to learn that self care, making my health and wellness a priority, isn't being selfish. A healthier (physically and mentally) version of me makes a much better partner for my wife in so many respects.

    Of course, sometimes that self care means working out instead of spending time with her. Sometimes it means forgoing my workout to spend more time with her because it's what I need that day or what she needs that day.

    For me the key was understanding that this was a choice and that I needed to make the best choice for me/us rather than feeling like I couldn't work out because I needed to spend time with her. It's also important to me that we can communicate what we need even if it means the other person may not get to do what they want and that this ask isn't made without consideration of what the other person may be sacrificing. Being there for my wife is an aspect of my self care as well.
  • GymGoddessGoals
    GymGoddessGoals Posts: 2,146 Member
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    Guys/girls:

    Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t

    Pre-Covid we had completely different schedules because he had a gym at work. He prefers afternoons, I prefer mornings. However, now that he works from home, we workout together in the mornings during the week and afternoons on the weekends.

    Some times schedules don't match, stuff comes up, things happen. Compromise is key.

  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    edited March 2021
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    Guys/girls:

    Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t

    In and of itself, it's fine. I want her to do things she enjoys and/or needs for her own sanity... However, if that's just another thing that takes priority regularly/consistently over the relationship, then at some point there could be issues. I don't need to be #1 all the time, but if you put me at the bottom of the totem pole for long enough, the relationship will suffer.
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
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    Guys/girls:

    Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t

    Pre-Covid we had completely different schedules because he had a gym at work. He prefers afternoons, I prefer mornings. However, now that he works from home, we workout together in the mornings during the week and afternoons on the weekends.

    Some times schedules don't match, stuff comes up, things happen. Compromise is key.

    This so romantic, I can't even deal 😭
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
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    Relationships are always about compromise. 50/50 is perfect but hardly happens all the time; some days you get the 90%, some days you get the 10%.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
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    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Relationships are always about compromise. 50/50 is perfect but hardly happens all the time; some days you get the 90%, some days you get the 10%.

    Agreed. IMO, the goal is 50/50 over longer periods of time, not hours or days. If you gave as much as you got over the course of a year, that's pretty good.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,369 Member
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    Guys/girls:

    Whats your opinion on your SO setting time aside for workouts...even if that means they can't hang out with you. Missed dinners, things like t

    Not an issue for us as I am the only one who works out and I get up earlier to fit it in before work.

    I guess it would depend on how temporary the time constraints were, or if they're working toward a particular end goal like a competition or training for a marathon and it wasn't going to last forever. Health IS a priority.

    If we're not spending much time together I'd eventually wonder why we were in a relationship though.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,668 Member
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    Thanks for all the responses...I manage to juggle both for now...but going into a new ish relationship where this isn't a priority for him it makes it difficult to have him understand this is for my mental health not just how I physically look. Communication and some shifting of schedules has helped. In the long run I wonder if this will be something thats a deal breaker on either side....if that makes sense
  • GymGoddessGoals
    GymGoddessGoals Posts: 2,146 Member
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    Thanks for all the responses...I manage to juggle both for now...but going into a new ish relationship where this isn't a priority for him it makes it difficult to have him understand this is for my mental health not just how I physically look. Communication and some shifting of schedules has helped. In the long run I wonder if this will be something thats a deal breaker on either side....if that makes sense

    You do what you need to do for you. He will compromise, adjust or jump ship. It's kind of hard to think of that as his problem; but it is his problem. This shouldn't be a disagreement, argument, or even a fight. You workout at such and such time, and that is part of what you are about. Is he really accepting you completely if he can't work around some gym time for you? I mean of all the things that could be a problem in a relationship... is this the one thing that could really ruin it all for you both?
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    edited March 2021
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    Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?
  • stljam
    stljam Posts: 512 Member
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    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?

    For me, definitely chemistry/spark at first sight but not love. Sure I love the way she looks but there are so many things that I love about her. At first sight, I don't know any of those other things. If the personality/person doesn't match, the looks don't matter when it comes to love for me.

    Of course, I'm likely biased as my wife and I were friends for a year before we started dating. Oh the awkwardness for that year at certain times, lol.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,668 Member
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    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?

    Definitely a spark or chemistry.. but not love.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,668 Member
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    Guys how do you feel about side ponytails...yeah, they are hot ...nay, save it for 80s night at the local bar
  • twitchandshout
    twitchandshout Posts: 1,591 Member
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    Guys how do you feel about side ponytails...yeah, they are hot ...nay, save it for 80s night at the local bar

    I like a low side chignon, pronounced with an exaggerated French accent
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,668 Member
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    Guys how do you feel about side ponytails...yeah, they are hot ...nay, save it for 80s night at the local bar

    I like a low side chignon, pronounced with an exaggerated French accent

    Please model this look...need reference point
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,739 Member
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    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?

    I believe it's possible, but odds are far worse than the likelihood of winning the lottery.

    Friends are friends, there's no crossing streams for me. I am not a fan of the idea of growing into love. I don't want someone to grow on me, because that feels like there was a negative view of the person. I would rather there be a connection and recognition of desirable traits (physical and/or personality), at some level, initially.

    Also, now I have an Urkel earworm "I'm wearing you dooown!"
  • 5ofseven
    5ofseven Posts: 791 Member
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    slessofme wrote: »
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?

    I believe it's possible, but odds are far worse than the likelihood of winning the lottery.

    Friends are friends, there's no crossing streams for me. I am not a fan of the idea of growing into love. I don't want someone to grow on me, because that feels like there was a negative view of the person. I would rather there be a connection and recognition of desirable traits (physical and/or personality), at some level, initially.

    Also, now I have an Urkel earworm "I'm wearing you dooown!"

    For my wife and I, it was pretty close to it. She saw me in the rest view mirror of her car, headed to the same destination - and she liked what she saw enough to comment to her roommate.

    Once we were introduced there, I can remember everything about her that day - what she wore (yes, 26 years later I can tell you), how she sat, things we talked about. I didn't ask her out until about 3 months later (and saw another woman first, which she has never let me forget), but the early on was very positive, and we visited nearly daily for an hour or more. We'd only been dating each other for about a week when I knew I wanted to marry her - which isn't truly love at first sight, but it's at least in the realm. There was definitely attraction and deep conversation sand interest at first sight.
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,739 Member
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    5ofseven wrote: »
    slessofme wrote: »
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?

    I believe it's possible, but odds are far worse than the likelihood of winning the lottery.

    Friends are friends, there's no crossing streams for me. I am not a fan of the idea of growing into love. I don't want someone to grow on me, because that feels like there was a negative view of the person. I would rather there be a connection and recognition of desirable traits (physical and/or personality), at some level, initially.

    Also, now I have an Urkel earworm "I'm wearing you dooown!"

    For my wife and I, it was pretty close to it. She saw me in the rest view mirror of her car, headed to the same destination - and she liked what she saw enough to comment to her roommate.

    Once we were introduced there, I can remember everything about her that day - what she wore (yes, 26 years later I can tell you), how she sat, things we talked about. I didn't ask her out until about 3 months later (and saw another woman first, which she has never let me forget), but the early on was very positive, and we visited nearly daily for an hour or more. We'd only been dating each other for about a week when I knew I wanted to marry her - which isn't truly love at first sight, but it's at least in the realm. There was definitely attraction and deep conversation sand interest at first sight.

    I can appreciate this. I have had a similar experience and would also say that it wasn't love at first sight. I don't know that my logical side would have ever allowed, much less admitted, that. It was definitely
    an overwhelming desire to be in his sphere.
  • stljam
    stljam Posts: 512 Member
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    5ofseven wrote: »
    Once we were introduced there, I can remember everything about her that day - what she wore (yes, 26 years later I can tell you), how she sat, things we talked about. I didn't ask her out until about 3 months later (and saw another woman first, which she has never let me forget), but the early on was very positive, and we visited nearly daily for an hour or more. We'd only been dating each other for about a week when I knew I wanted to marry her - which isn't truly love at first sight, but it's at least in the realm. There was definitely attraction and deep conversation sand interest at first sight.

    I get this. I met my wife at a party through a friend who already had informed me she had a bf. At first, I spent most of my time trying to get to know her single friend but my wife and I just were drawn to each other in conversation and spent the rest of the party with each other. Her bf was in another city, so we did things together all the time. I'm sure to others it looked like dating and it likely was in many ways. We didn't "officially" start dating until after she broke up with her bf and I now get to be reminded how I was hitting on her friend, not her, the night we met (more by mutual friends now than by her).

    An aside, the first time we did something after that party it was with a group but I would swear it was just her and me. My brain doesn't remember the other people being there at all. It must have been solely focused on her, innately knowing that we would spend 25+ years together.
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,185 Member
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    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Don't know if this has been asked here but do you believe in love at first sight? Or more the idea of being friends first and growing the love?

    I hope it’s true but I’ve never been on either side of that. And friends first? Idk...if I should ever be in the area again I kinda hope we’re always more than friends and that it doesn’t have to develop into anything.