Less Alcohol - APRIL 2020 - One Day at a Time
MissMay
Posts: 3,783 Member
in Challenges
~THIS IS A MONTHLY CONTINUING THREAD THAT HAS BEEN ACTIVE SINCE AS FAR BACK AS 2017. ALL WELCOME 🌍~
Do you want to drink LESS?
Do it because it's a lovely thing to do for yourself!
I bet that thinking a day off is a sort of punishment and hasn't been working.
Be kind to the person you will wake up as.
Join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) one day at a time, as we continue to support and learn from each other.
▪MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST▪
USING OUR THREAD:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Join us at any time - this is a day to day challenge.
•Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
•There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
•AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
•To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
•Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!
TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR MEMBERS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Getting Started or Starting Over - The Early Days
•Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
•If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
•There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
•For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
•You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
•Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
•You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
•If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
•Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
•Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
•It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
•Some days will be easier than others.
•You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
•You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
•Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
•Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
•Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
•Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.
Life with Less Alcohol:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
•There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
•You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
•You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
•Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
•Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
•It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
•Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
•Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
•You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
•It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
•Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
•Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
•If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
•For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.
Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
•Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
•Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
•Increased energy after as few as 2 days
•Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
•Increased productivity
•Reduction of high blood pressure
•Lower resting heart rate
•Less Acid Re-flux
•Significant financial savings
•More creativity
•More productivity
•Better relationships with family
When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance (by @Orphia):
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
•We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
•We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
•The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
•Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
•Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.
How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You" (by @Orphia):
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
•Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
•Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
•Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
•We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
•Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
•Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
•You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".
LINKS:
▪▪▪▪
•Mydrinkaware:
https://www.mydrinkaware.co.uk
•A Sharing Site for Women:
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/
•General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
http://www.hipsobriety.com/
https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/
•Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/
•The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
•Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp
•The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
•Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
•Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink
•To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/
•Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations
ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep
•Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/
APPS:
▪▪▪▪
•Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
•Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
•nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted, and connect with accountability partners.
•Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features
BOOKS:
▪▪▪▪
•The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
•Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
•Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
•The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
•The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
•Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
•Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
•Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
•The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
•Alcohol Explained by William Porter
Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information.
Do you want to drink LESS?
Do it because it's a lovely thing to do for yourself!
I bet that thinking a day off is a sort of punishment and hasn't been working.
Be kind to the person you will wake up as.
Join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) one day at a time, as we continue to support and learn from each other.
▪MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST▪
USING OUR THREAD:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Join us at any time - this is a day to day challenge.
•Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
•There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
•AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
•To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
•Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!
TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR MEMBERS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Getting Started or Starting Over - The Early Days
•Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
•If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
•There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
•For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
•You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
•Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
•You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
•If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
•Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
•Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
•It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
•Some days will be easier than others.
•You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
•You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
•Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
•Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
•Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
•Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.
Life with Less Alcohol:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
•There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
•You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
•You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
•Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
•Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
•It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
•Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
•Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
•You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
•It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
•Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
•Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
•If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
•For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.
Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
•Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
•Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
•Increased energy after as few as 2 days
•Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
•Increased productivity
•Reduction of high blood pressure
•Lower resting heart rate
•Less Acid Re-flux
•Significant financial savings
•More creativity
•More productivity
•Better relationships with family
When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance (by @Orphia):
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
•We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
•We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
•The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
•Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
•Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.
How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You" (by @Orphia):
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
•Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
•Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
•Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
•We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
•Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
•Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
•You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".
LINKS:
▪▪▪▪
•Mydrinkaware:
https://www.mydrinkaware.co.uk
•A Sharing Site for Women:
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/
•General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
http://www.hipsobriety.com/
https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/
•Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/
•The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
•Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp
•The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
•Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
•Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink
•To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/
•Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations
ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep
•Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/
APPS:
▪▪▪▪
•Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
•Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
•nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted, and connect with accountability partners.
•Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features
BOOKS:
▪▪▪▪
•The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
•Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
•Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
•The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
•The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
•Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
•Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
•Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
•The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
•Alcohol Explained by William Porter
Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information.
3
Replies
-
Hello thank you for checking us out. As in the past we will be continuing to support each other on our individual journeys of having LESS ALCOHOL in our lives.6
-
Thanks for keeping us going @MissMay. You are a treasure!6
-
dawnbgethealthy wrote: »Thanks for keeping us going @MissMay. You are a treasure!
You are a gem as well @dawnbgethealthy.
If I have to post and then answer my own posts, I would do that to keep this thread alive.
😉 But I KNOW we will not have to do that. 😉6 -
Assuming I do not decide to end the streak for some reason later this month (which I know starts tomorrow) I will have gone a year with no alcohol. Since it was not a goal I am not sure how I feel about it which is why I toy with the notion of ending it. My goal is still to moderate but going a year is not exactly moderating it is abstaining. I am not sure why I am so conflicted about this. I really like the life I am building and alcohol really doesn't have much of a place in it. I have lost all kinds of weight. I am far more active. My health is greatly improved. However, I see no need to give alcohol up completely as long as I can moderate it.
Alcohol was a hindrance initially. I am extremely thankful to these threads for helping me work through my ups and downs 2 years ago as I transitioned into moderation. I can't remember what Julie's new username is but she was running things back then, @Orphia took over from her, and @MissMay is doing a great job now. I am not as active in them as I was but I like to check in from time to time. This is where I have always come to ramble on about whatever alcohol related thing is happening and it helps.
I am not sure if I am redefining what moderation will mean for me (again) or if I am just overthinking it. I trust an answer will come and it will work out one way or another. As long as I do not go backwards I am okay.14 -
@NovusDies, I am in a similar boat to you... I started following these threads in January 2018, with a goal to drink less... I did not plan to abstain completely. I only had 2 alcoholic drinks in 2019 though, the second/last one on June 2. So it will be 10 months for me this week. And the longer I go on, the more I feel that I don’t want to end the streak. There have been many benefits for me, not drinking alcohol. And yet, I like the idea of perhaps having something once in awhile. Even though, I really haven’t had the urge.
I like what you said- “as long as I do not go backwards i am okay”. And I strongly feel that, regardless of whether I end the streak or not, I will not go backwards, which does feel very positive and good.9 -
@NovusDies, I am in a similar boat to you... I started following these threads in January 2018, with a goal to drink less... I did not plan to abstain completely. I only had 2 alcoholic drinks in 2019 though, the second/last one on June 2. So it will be 10 months for me this week. And the longer I go on, the more I feel that I don’t want to end the streak. There have been many benefits for me, not drinking alcohol. And yet, I like the idea of perhaps having something once in awhile. Even though, I really haven’t had the urge.
I like what you said- “as long as I do not go backwards i am okay”. And I strongly feel that, regardless of whether I end the streak or not, I will not go backwards, which does feel very positive and good.
@wigi41
You beat me here by just a little. I started in March of 2018 I think.
I am glad these threads still get enough attention after all this time to bring people in similar places together. You have an idea that this is kind of a confusing experience. When I was at the 10ish month mark I saw this as a potential happening but I was pretty sure the cruise we had planned would end it. The virus postponed that.
When I first started successfully moderating I was still pretty casual with it. Even though I wasn't doing it very often anymore it was not a big deal to decide on Wed to have something on Fri. That is what seems to have changed. Now it feels very formal like if I am going to do it I need to have an event. I didn't intend for that to happen.
I am also a little concerned about when I have some that even much less it will be too much and it will impact how I feel the next day and my exercise routine. I get up at 5am to exercise and for all I know even 2 glasses of wine may be too much now. I have lost well over 200 pounds and not had a sip in a year minus 3 weeks. My tolerance is likely at the lowest it has been since I first started drinking.
It is nice not to feel a compelling urge to drink. I would rather never drink again than go back to that. It was like living under its thumb. It was in my thoughts too often and I found myself living around it instead of drinking when it appropriately fit my life. One of the best things that happened was an (also unintentional) AF streak from May to October of 2018. Shortly after July 4th the urges finally let go. I was a little worried at first. I kept expecting them to return with a vengeance but it never happened.8 -
Assuming I do not decide to end the streak for some reason later this month (which I know starts tomorrow) I will have gone a year with no alcohol. Since it was not a goal I am not sure how I feel about it which is why I toy with the notion of ending it. My goal is still to moderate but going a year is not exactly moderating it is abstaining. I am not sure why I am so conflicted about this. I really like the life I am building and alcohol really doesn't have much of a place in it. I have lost all kinds of weight. I am far more active. My health is greatly improved. However, I see no need to give alcohol up completely as long as I can moderate it.
Alcohol was a hindrance initially. I am extremely thankful to these threads for helping me work through my ups and downs 2 years ago as I transitioned into moderation. I can't remember what Julie's new username is but she was running things back then, @Orphia took over from her, and @MissMay is doing a great job now. I am not as active in them as I was but I like to check in from time to time. This is where I have always come to ramble on about whatever alcohol related thing is happening and it helps.
I am not sure if I am redefining what moderation will mean for me (again) or if I am just overthinking it. I trust an answer will come and it will work out one way or another. As long as I do not go backwards I am okay.
It is always inspiring to have you post in here @NovusDies. Congratulations on your year AF.
Julie from 2018 ( @RubyRed427 ) visits us now and againl. Which is always a high light for me. Thanks for the recognition!4 -
@wigi41 nice to have you joining in on the April thread. I to never thought I would cut back as much as I did. I thought I might only drink 3 or 4 times a week once I learned how to control my binge drinking. But then....adding on AF days consecutively and seeing if I could out do the previous tally got to be an addictive goal. Going an entire month 31 days without a drink would have never crossed my mind as a do-able event. It was nice to think about, and I often wished I could, but never really thought I could or that I actually needed to, but I did. Better health, better thought process is all good reason to take a break, cut back and be accountable.
6 -
Assuming I do not decide to end the streak for some reason later this month (which I know starts tomorrow) I will have gone a year with no alcohol. Since it was not a goal I am not sure how I feel about it which is why I toy with the notion of ending it. My goal is still to moderate but going a year is not exactly moderating it is abstaining. I am not sure why I am so conflicted about this. I really like the life I am building and alcohol really doesn't have much of a place in it. I have lost all kinds of weight. I am far more active. My health is greatly improved. However, I see no need to give alcohol up completely as long as I can moderate it.
Alcohol was a hindrance initially. I am extremely thankful to these threads for helping me work through my ups and downs 2 years ago as I transitioned into moderation. I can't remember what Julie's new username is but she was running things back then, @Orphia took over from her, and @MissMay is doing a great job now. I am not as active in them as I was but I like to check in from time to time. This is where I have always come to ramble on about whatever alcohol related thing is happening and it helps.
I am not sure if I am redefining what moderation will mean for me (again) or if I am just overthinking it. I trust an answer will come and it will work out one way or another. As long as I do not go backwards I am okay.
It is always inspiring to have you post in here @NovusDies. Congratulations on your year AF.
Julie from 2018 ( @RubyRed427 ) visits us now and againl. Which is always a high light for me. Thanks for the recognition!
I knew it was Ruby something but I could not remember all of it. She changed it without my permission!5 -
Hi Guys.... New here, kind of.
I frequented this thread back in 2018/2019 - who knows. I was still drinking a lot then and the days run together.
I am AF 30 days today. In the past I have tried to stop, but I have been unsuccessful to go more than a day or 2. In January, I decided to have a dry February bc my daughter was pregnant and due the end of the month. She lives 6 hours away and I wanted to be able to leave at a moments notice. I def drank less - but was far from dry. When 8 pm would tick around I would be like 'well, probably wont happen today... and if I just have a couple I can drive by midnight." How is that for an alcoholic mindset. She called me on the 18th saying that she would be induced at midnight. I started my drive towards her at about 2 pm, arriving in time to have a large drink and leave for the hospital at 11:40 PM. I was the designated dog sitter while she was in the hospital - so night 1, Diesel the English bull dog sat beside me while I enjoyed an entire bottle of cheap champagne. I stayed with her for 2 weeks and consumed alcohol daily. At one point I thought "if I was forced to drive, I could not." This struck a nerve with me. The morning I left to come home, I had one mimosa at brunch then one white Russian when I got home. That was Feb 29th.
Sunday, March 1 - I just didn't feel like drinking. I thought to myself "I think I need a break." It was not as difficult as I had remembered and before you know it a week had passed. 3/10 my elderly father was admitted to ICU with flu/pneumonia - mere days before COVID hit Georgia. I was his primary caregiver as my mom could not drive to visit him. TBH - my mom was a bigger stressor these days than dad was. I remember saying "what a month to stop drinking" But I knew I had to stay sober JIC... Dad's issues lead directly up to quarantine time. I said again "what a month to quit drinking."
I felt like last weekend I took a breather and said "ok, you have done a good job and I'm proud of you -- you've got this." Then yesterday - crap happened at work. (working from home) I was so angry. I usually don't get angry... but I was. My hands were shaking to the point I could not hold a pen or glass of water. I did not repeat what I had said earlier - even when my husband offered to pour a glass of wine for me. I pushed thru. At about 8 pm last night - my youngest daughter came up to me and said she was proud of me. She said "I know you had a really crappy day at work today and you are sober. I really cannot believe you are sober. I have watched you go off the deep end over much smaller things." At the end of the day, I was again proud of myself!
Sorry for the book.... but with all this being said, If I can remain sober March 2020, I'm pretty sure I can stay sober any time!!!!
I am far from saying that I will never drink again, but I will be the occasional, social drinker - not the daily drinker I have been for many years.
I look forward to being part of this group
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I'm in for April!
Jan- 1 AF day
Feb- 22 AF days
Mar- 29 AF days
April- goal 27 AF days or more, not exceeding 2.5 drinks in total for that designated non-AF day
While March numbers look good, in reality I had not set a daily drinking limit those days. For the sake of avoiding a hangover and minimizing damage, April goal will be to limit max drinks for non-AF days to 2.5 drinks, really spaced far between. This would allow me to buy a special wine bottle, enjoy 1 glass with lunch and 1.5 glass with dinner, then discard the rest before any temptation hits.7 -
In, as long as I am on social media/forums. I had to limit some of the noise last month and decided to take a break from forums. I’m not sure what April will hold and I’m not setting specific goals - the days blur together so much, and moods change hourly.
March ended with 13/31 days AF and that includes a few in the last two stressful weeks of the month so I know I can still abstain even during this insanity!6 -
@NovusDies congratulations on almost a year, even if you didn’t start with that as a goal! I imagine it’s going to be very satisfying to say “I haven’t had a drink in a full year!” But if you can truly moderate, no shame in having one. You will find that your tolerance is really low. The cost/benefit analysis of having a drink may not be worth breaking an awesome streak!
@MissMay thanks for setting up the April thread and being our fearless leader!
March I was off the rails - Only 6 AF days. Back to being a daily drinker! Ugh! Trying to pull myself back to weekends only. So far ended March with 2AF days in a row. I’ll take my victories where I can get them.9 -
WinoGelato wrote: »In, as long as I am on social media/forums. I had to limit some of the noise last month and decided to take a break from forums. I’m not sure what April will hold and I’m not setting specific goals - the days blur together so much, and moods change hourly.
March ended with 13/31 days AF and that includes a few in the last two stressful weeks of the month so I know I can still abstain even during this insanity!
I hear ya! I can’t look at social media anymore. It’s too much. Also, I have no idea what day it is half the time. Oh, to have my routine back!5 -
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APRIL first. So many reasons to stay healthy and focused.
A big hello again to @Beka3695. I certainly do remember your user name from the past. We have plenty of room in here for you and your posts are NEVER to long.
@WinoGelato as always wonderful to have you in April. I unplugged from my social media and have been on this thread aonly since mid March. 13AF is darn close to half the month of March, great accountability.
@globalhiker and @womona awesome to have you both on a fresh new page with us. ROUTINE yes, need my routine back also.
I am going to be outside for most of today, fresh air to clear my head. I would welcome a mosquito bite at this point.
March was a drinks tally of 2 for me.
Good thoughts to all.
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Ready to go back to limiting alcohol and getting rid of the extra weight that has been gained over this past year. Don't need the extra calories or the glass of wine.7
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I'm in
January=0 drinkin days
February=0 drinkin days
March=4 drinkin days! In a row! Tolerance did NOT go down for me after 8 months sober, I drank fast and hard and ALOT damn coronaviris stressing me out😒 7:05 am in Vegas another 24, wishing everyone a great day! Congratulations @NovusDies on your year absolutely wonderful 💗10 -
As usual, I am going to try for 16-20 AF days for the month.
I had 18 AF days for January
I had a surprising (and record setting for me) 21AF days for the short month of February!
18AF days for March
Onward to April : - )
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I'm in as always!
It was a bad March, hoping April is better as I adjust to our new reality. Working from home hasn't been easy.
Aiming for more AF days than not.5 -
Hey everyone, I'm in for April. It's inspiring reading the stories of those who have been here and at this a while.
My goal is to drink less in 2020. I haven't really determined what that means. Before this year began I was a daily drinker. I'm glad I made this commitment to myself because with everything else going on in the world right now, it is tempting to drink to numb everything.
Here's my yearly tally so far:
Jan: 23 days AF
Feb: 16 days AF
Mar: 22 days AF
Total for 2020: 61/91 days AF
Looking at my totals, I'm realizing 2/3 of the time I am AF. That is pretty amazing for me, but somehow it still seems like too much to drink 1/3 of the time. I didn't come into this with any hard and fast goals, so I am not sure what to do about numbers. I'm just going to keep on doing what I'm doing for now, although I am a little concerned about my habits because during the last half of March, while I only had a handful of drinking days, a couple of them were days where I had a lot of drinks. So it seems I'm using my drinking day to overindulge- like once I have a drink I might as well have 6. I've got to work on this, and focus on moderation. I would like to keep alcohol in my life and just be moderate about it.
My April goal is at least 20 days AF.10 -
Happy April, y'all! Fresh, new, start...!!!11
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My goal this month is to expect more of myself. Raise the bar. Because I've proven to little me that it is possible...and because it feels damn good to not drink most days of the month and look better in the mirror
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I'm in! Great to see familiar and new faces.
I'm taking a break. 31 days now. Done this a few times (many times actually), but I feel like each time, I gain a little wisdom and I'm a feeling a little more fed up with feeling sick.
I've been grumpy as Hell this week--a feeling I used to rarely feel because as soon as I slightly felt it (I'm a NICE girl--I don't get grumpy), I'd drink it away (and then sometimes let it out when ripped and not remember). This is how I used to handle any uncomfortable feeling, including anxiety, sadness/depression, and anger.
It helps a little to yell out I WANT WIIIIIIINE! And then I just unapologetically let my grump be. You can make dinner. I'm going to watch my show in the bedroom. I've gone 30 #$%^$%^ days without wine and I've lost only ONE pound and gained a pound of zits on my face!!!
I know everyone's feeling at minimum anxiety right now, but probably lots of other uncomfortable feelings. I just encourage you to challenge yourself at least one time this week to, when you reach for a drink, ask yourself if you're trying to avoid feeling a feeling, and if so, put the drink back and let yourself feel it. The following is a bad analogy to convey how I compare feeling a feeling vs. drinking a feeling away:
Feeling a feeling is like waxing--it hurts like Hell, can be messy and take a little time, but then feels really smooth for a long time.
Drowning a feeling with alcohol is like shaving--no pain at all,super easy, fast, and it feels somewhat smooth, but doesn't last long.8 -
@mainelylisa ...virtual, long distance, heart felt hug. Current times suck. We need to get thru them, alone, but together.
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Eldest daughter's MIL is at the end time of her decade long terminal illness. Daughter & DH left to spend her last days with her. 12 hours into their journey they got word that they would be stopped at the Maine state line and required to quarantine for 14 days. This meant that they would miss her last days, and probably her funeral, if those are still allowed. A relative offered to drive several hours down to the state line to walk across Maine tags for their truck so they could go be with her. MIL's husband got wind of this plan and announced that even if her son managed to get onto the Island, he would not be allowed in the house.
Back to Louisiana, to set up some Skypes , even though she is not really aware of what is happening around her.
Dear SIL is handling this by reaching out to friends who are not in the best of health, and Daughter is planning a months-long visit to Louisiana for me [and Catpuccino] for as soon as this craziness is over.
I'll probably be missing my Grandson's 16th birthday celebration in mid May because my state will be in a stay-home order still, and I don't trust ex-SIL's judgement in inviting guests.
Sigh...life sucks right now, but my mantra has always been..."If life hands you lemons, make lemonade". Please pass the sugar...
Sheet is still on antique wine rack...Geeze, I SO want to pull a cork and insert a straw....Not happening, I'm stronger than that.
For now.
Thank you @MissMay for keeping this thread going and being so encouraging !!11 -
@forestdweller1 That is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. Hang in there..we will get through this together. And yes, @MissMay thank you for continuously bringing us together and your unwavering support--esp as I know you're struggling as well. 7
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April 1st was a planned drinking day. I regret it. Sitting here with my alka-seltzer nursing a bad headache. Not worth it. I decided I am changing my goal for this month- won't drink the rest of the month, period. I was feeling so good and so happy before I polished off a bottle of Kim Crawford and a bag of chips - mindlessly - while watching back to back news on TV. Not a repeat......9
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