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30lbs to lose... Started AGAIN yesterday (Darn Lockdown Snacking)

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  • MommaGemzMommaGemz Member Posts: 462 Member Member Posts: 462 Member
    Day 131 (Monday)

    Today is my husband's birthday, so I definitely didn't make my calorie goal. I didn't go crazy, but he requested a specific dinner and my Mom brought him donuts (rather than a birthday cake). So I had a donut and a reasonable portion of my special "Baked Potato Soup" (carby, cheesy goodness!)

    I had a busy day today - Mondays usually are. I had the added complication of a "floater" in my eye for most of the day. That makes it harder to focus on anything visually and tends to give me a headache. I'm getting them more frequently and my eye doctor says that's normal "for my age" :'( The time I would have spent writing I took some Tylenol and laid in a dark room until it passed. I think this will definitely be an early-to-bed day.

    Daily Goals:
    Calories - Nope
    Steps - ✅
    Water - ✅
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 496 Member Member Posts: 496 Member
    @MommaG Happy birthday to your husband! That’s nice your husband wanted donuts rather than a cake! It’s easier to limit yourself to one donut than to cut a narrow slice of cake( and then not go back for more slivers!)
    I’ve never heard it’s normal to get floaters at a certain age. I’m 56 and have never had that. Stay on top of it.
    It sounds like you’re doing a remarkable job of balancing the kids, the schooling, the writing and your regular work stuff ( not to mention household chores) along with exercise and eating right. It seems like you found a good option not putting so much pressure on yourself to complete a higher number of steps when you’ve got so much on your plate right now, esp when you’re able to stay under your calorie goal ( planned indulgence excepted)!! I like how you’re always analyzing how things are working for you and then tweaking them. I’m learning so much from you!
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 496 Member Member Posts: 496 Member
    @GabiV How is the shoulder doing? Feeling any better? How was the weekend visit with your daughter?

    @DarleenTurner Welcome to this group! They are all very encouraging. Just when I feel like “Throwing in the towel”, someone always lifts me back up with just the encouragement I need! The very best part of our group is we are able to be really honest about what are struggles are. No one tries to minimize anything, just offers encouragement and often sorely needed advice! ( at least for ME!)
    If you can’t get out for a walk due to the weather, have you considered doing any virtual workouts you might enjoy or dancing? It doesn’t have to be walking.

    @thelastnightingale I’m so happy to hear about your great feedback at work. Being appreciated at work makes all the difference in the world!!!! That’s awesome! Sounds like you’ve been crazy busy, yet you managed to see a loss on the scale! You are doing so well!

    My day:
    Exercise:✅
    Tracked: ✅
    Under: ✅
    While staying under with calories, I’ve been managing to consume too much sugar which really bloats me. That coupled with not drinking enough water! Not a good combo.
    I need to address that but not in next couple of days as my brother is coming to town for a distanced visit. He’ll be here on business.
    I’ll address it after the visit.
  • MommaGemzMommaGemz Member Posts: 462 Member Member Posts: 462 Member
    @clutterqueen And a great thing about donuts is that I can throw the rest in the freezer and I'm not tempted to finish the whole dozen before they go stale :p The floaters also 'could' be hereditary, because my Mom gets them on occasion, too. But since I wear glasses, I'm at the optometrist every year to get a check 👍 I hope you have a great visit with your brother!
  • MommaGemzMommaGemz Member Posts: 462 Member Member Posts: 462 Member
    Day 132 (Tuesday)

    I've had quite the roller coaster ride with the scale this week. I feel overall I'm trending down, but I've had some days in which water retention caused me to pop back up. Yesterday was the last "celebration day" we'll have until Thanksgiving. I don't count Halloween, because I'm not a candy craving person. Our kids get candy for a few days then we throw away anything that's left over. In fact, we might not even do Thanksgiving this year since we won't have any family over. I can make turkey and mashed potatoes any day of the year. We'll see when it gets closer. Thanks 2020 - taking the fun out of holidays all year long.

    My overall goal for the next month is to log consistently until Thanksgiving. I still want Saturdays off for steps, but I do think that I can give this a focused shot until the next holiday.

    Daily Goals:
    Calories - ✅
    Steps - ✅
    Water - ✅
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 496 Member Member Posts: 496 Member
    @mommaGemz I’m glad you go to the optometrist every year and stay on top of the eye situation!
    Glad the scale is trending down. You are SO LUCKY big to be a candy craving person! Me, I LOVE chocolate!!! Could eat GOBS of it if there were no consequences!
    I agree, Thanksgiving will be very different this year! No need for the traditional meal if the family doesn’t insist on it. Last year, my one daughter only got Christmas Day itself off, so we traveled there. They wanted to get Chinese for Christmas and we did. Very easy! No mess, no stress! We will probably do it again this year. For years I used to just make a lasagna ahead of time to bake on Christmas Day so I wasn’t stressed with all the cooking. Could just make a salad and rolls and get to enjoy the day with everyone else.
    I think it’s very healthy to have one day off for fitness goals. I’ve been struggling with this for a LONG time. Finally, with my last injury, ( short lived thank God!) I had a heart to heart with myself and realized I have to take it easy one day a week if I expect my body to keep performing the other six! I had been jogging 6 1/2 miles a day, 4 times a week and then riding 21 miles or so on
    my spin bike 3 days a week, Plus 2 longer weights/strength session and 1 light session each week. I have to respect my body if I want it to keep going. At 56, I am nowhere near ready to stop jogging, cycling or doing weights! It’s hard though. Sometimes I would start to walk and end up jogging the whole thing. It helps if I don’t wear a sports bra or athletic pants. Then I can’t jog.

    I’ve learned a lot from @MommaGemz, how she’s always analyzing what’s working in her life, making changes for better efficiency and reevaluating and then tweaking things here and there! That’s why she’s so very successful! That and the fact that she posts her reflections of her journey almost daily. Major accountability, all the good, the bad, the ugly! The other thing she does is when she messes up, she brushes herself and MOVES ON! No dwelling on the past. Getting right back on track the next day! IT IS WORKING!!!
    We are watching and we are learning! Thank you for sharing your journey!

    My day:
    Exercise: ✅
    Tracked: ✅
    Under: ✅

    Visit with my brother and sister-in-law is going well. Will see them for a hike in the morning and then lunch, Social distancing outside, of course. 😊
  • GabiV125GabiV125 Member Posts: 617 Member Member Posts: 617 Member
    Hi, last night I wrote a big message and then lost the whole thing.
    I love this thread, I love the group and I love the openness of messages. This is the first time I’ve been able to talk weight loss struggles, current and past, and come back at it, even the very next day.
    I’m not insightful, patient or driven, I don’t know how to read my body (fake) hunger signs and I learned so much here. The application part is still in progress but the learning part is the foundation .
    I’ve been carrying extra weight for 14y and every year I’d lose 10lb before Christmas and then get all of it back within 3 months. Since July, I lost 3lb, which is not much in the bucket, but is against my historical trend, meaning that all this is working for me.

    The visit with my daughter was nice, a little too short, but nice. She’s trying to make some big decisions and I am there for her to talk, but not to make the decision in her place. My parents did that to me and every once in a while I wonder what my life would be if I had chosen my own path.
    Traffic coming back Sunday was horrible, 7h instead of 4.5h . My back and right leg were cramping some even Tuesday. So I’m taking it rather slowly this week and see where I get.
  • MommaGemzMommaGemz Member Posts: 462 Member Member Posts: 462 Member
    @clutterqueen & @GabiV125 I am so glad that you are finding a place of support here in the thread! Honestly, when I first started this thread I thought I'd just be talking to myself day after day and forever, but I am so thankful we now have this space together!

    I feel that there is, in all aspects of life, this pressure to be able to do anything perfectly and effortlessly and that is just not realistic. Having a space where we can all say, "Yup, I just gave up today", and admit setbacks, has been so VITAL in me being able to stay on this path. Having the "permission" and acceptance to just have a bad day, or bad week, and then pick myself up and keep going has been so refreshing.

    Thank you everyone for contributing to this supportive environment! It wouldn't have happened without everyone's honesty and encouragement <3<3<3
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 496 Member Member Posts: 496 Member
    I visited with my brother and sister-in-law again today before they left late afternoon. My sis-in-law and I took her dog and went for about a 90 minute hike this morning and then a little loop later ( I’d already done my regular spin bike routine and strength stuff early this morning). Then we all met for lunch at a beautiful lake spot across from a restaurant that served a yummy curbside grilled chicken sandwich. The side was fries. Luckily, they weren’t the kind I enjoy so I ate very few. It was great just to enjoy the peace of being lakeside and catch up. I love being with them because I can always be transparent and tell everything how it is. It is very freeing to be that way. I’ve been more that way with more people in my life the last several years rather than keeping certain things tucked away. Nothing really to hide. Just not being completely open.

    I realized something tonight- after my Mom called me about 7 times today and my sister called me several times to discuss the drama with Mom. My first instinct wasn’t to reach for chocolate to “eat my feelings” soothe them or whatever like has been my MO for years in dealing with her! Major break through! That’s not to say, it won’t happen tomorrow though.

    My day:
    Exercise: ✅
    Tracked: ✅
    Under: ✅

    I did not drink enough water today. We wore masks hiking and in the car. Really cut into my water intake. Gotta do better tomorrow!
  • MommaGemzMommaGemz Member Posts: 462 Member Member Posts: 462 Member
    Day 133 (Wednesday)

    Yay! The trend is definitely downward. I hit my previous "low" so maybe tomorrow there will be a brand new low?

    I had horrible sleep last night. My daughter was up for so many reasons and kept me awake. The issue is, and why I;m usually tired most of the time, is that I have had insomnia all my life. Even if I'm tired, and have taken melatonin and magnesium, it still takes about 30m to an hour to fall asleep. Evening interruptions and it takes about 30m to fall back asleep. Multiple interruptions and I could be up for hours. It was so bad last night I woke my husband up, told him he was WFH that day, so I could take a "sick day" and recover that sleep. He totally did. When I woke up at 9am he had the kids well into their school time. I did feel more rested even though I did feel "off" for some time just due to such weirdness in my schedule. It was a struggle to get my daughter to sleep tonight and I hope there's not a repeat performance. I just bought both my kids little noise machine/night lamps (because my son has been wanting one) and maybe it will help them both sleep a little easier (and me...)

    Daily Goals:
    Calories - ✅
    Steps - ✅
    Water - ✅
  • thelastnightingalethelastnightingale Member, Premium Posts: 421 Member Member, Premium Posts: 421 Member
    @GabiV125 Damn, I just did the same thing and lost a long post myself! Shall we just agree it was very eloquent and conveyed my point without me having to retype it?

    What I wanted to say is that @MommaGemz posted at the right time for us to spot this thread and form an accidental support group. Many of my friends have always been skinny (despite eating like horses) and even those who have put on a little weight in the past haven't struggled with their weight all their lives. There's a lot I think they can't relate to, and even if I were to explain, I don't think they'd find it very interesting.

    The constant struggle to remind ourselves that overeating food has consequences, that eating our feelings doesn't make our feelings go away... the shared observations that period weight is real, if temporary... the whooosh effect on the scales... It's helpful to know we're not alone. I think being able to talk about all that kind of stuff as well as general chit chat helps with retraining ourselves to be honest. When we're honest to each other, it helps with us being honest to ourselves, and we just need to keep building up those positive habits of acknowledging our own truths so we can keep moving forwards.

    In the past, pretending that bad days haven't happened have not helped with the calories magically going away. And justifying that if I've fallen off already, I may as well keep going for a bit, is not a clever way to think. Telling myself that clothes don't fit because they're stupid and/or the washing machine has damaged them is another ridiculous lie I've told myself. Being honest means if I mess up, I acknowledge it, but that's OK, because I keep going.

    My weight loss graph over the last few years is quite something - once day when I'm on my phone I'll post it. You can see ups and downs and ups and downs. It's only this year you can see a permanent, marked down. Oh, yes, there are some mini ups and downs in that bit of the graph too, but it's still very firmly showing a downward trend. Because I've stopped kidding myself. This is hard, but I know it's hard, and I know it's worthwhile. And I also know I'm not alone in having to work for this - weight loss isn't second nature to me. I have to really try, and it does help knowing that the rest of you are also making that effort each day, and don't have magic superpowers either.

    I really hope this post doesn't vanish this time...

    @clutterqueen Not eating your feelings really is a major deal. I know how guilty you've felt, and even if the feeling isn't justified, that doesn't make it go away. Not reaching for food to try to muffle the negative thoughts is so, so brilliant. Well done. I hope talking to your sister was helpful, as opposed to causing more drama?

    @MommaGemz Sleep deprivation is the worst. You can probably tell from the odd hours that I post that my sleep is always all over the place too - I mean, I'm supposed to be in a whole other time zone. I always find it remarkable that kids need so much sleep to develop, and yet, when they don't get that sleep, they still seem to be full of beans the next day. I swear my niece can tear around the place on only two or three hours... Ah, the magic of being young!

    I had a bad night earlier this week, so had a shower and the slapped on an undereye face mask whilst working from home. It's not an alternative to sleep, but I did feel a bit better for it. It wasn't just the moisturising effect, it was the trying to quickly fit in something nice for myself.

    I also caught up with one of my old friends who is also working non-stop, and it was so refreshing to have an honest conversation with someone else who is so exhausted. A lot of our other friends are facing job losses at the moment, so talking about being stressed at work feels insensitive. We both had a good rant about our respective jobs and felt much better for it. :) It also distracted me from overeating, which was another win...

    We are getting closer and closer to the weekend, and I cannot wait for some downtime. :)
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 496 Member Member Posts: 496 Member
    @MommaGemz I empathize with the not sleeping well! It really can derail our whole day and ATTITUDE ( or maybe that’s just me!). When I was in my 40’s( I’m 56 now) I regularly existed on 5-6 hours a night and was okay. Once I hit menopause, not only do I REQUIRE more sleep, I have the hardest time falling asleep, staying asleep and going back to sleep after getting up to go to the bathroom. I used to fall asleep within 45 seconds of my head hitting the pillow, and the same after getting up to go to the bathroom. No more! Before we moved here, we had a big house, our bedroom was upstairs and a guest bedroom was downstairs. So if my husband’s snoring got to me, I had options. In this one bedroom apt, there ARE NO options! I LOVE my husband but there are times I’ve contemplated smothering him with a pillow because I’ve been awake most of the night listening to him snore. Ive told him this the next morning, each time! I’ve tried every kind of ear plug. If I get them snug enough to block out the noise, I get a terrible ringing in my ears! Awful!
    Sometimes I’m just lying there thinking about my to do list the next day( all already written down) wondering if I’ll get it all done. Which is stupid because with the lack of sleep, it makes it MUCH less likely I’ll get it all done! No logic there! I think I should try a yoga routine before bed when I feel like that.
    Getting the noise machines for your kids was a good idea. Maybe one could help muffle my husband’s snoring a little.

    @thelastnightingale I’m glad you were able to catch up with a friend and vent about your jobs. Gotta release a little of that pressure somehow! I know what you mean about trying not to be insensitive by complaining about your job with friends facing job loss. One of my friends that I’ve known for over 20 years has a husband who’s losing the battle with ALS. It’s tough to know what to discuss with her these days. Certainly won’t complain about my husband’s snoring to her!

    You are right about needing to be honest with ourselves. And when we mess up, just acknowledge it and keep going. So hard! But it’s interesting how generally we judge ourselves so much more harshly than we judge others! We are quick to give them a break and reluctant to give ourselves the same grace! @MommaGemz You are the psychology major, why is that?? And why do we have the mentality that oh I’ve eaten that and messed up, what the heck, I may as well keep eating!?! I constantly have to fight against that and not consider certain foods “bad” like I’m morally corrupt If I eat them! It helps if I plan ahead when I’m gong to have a “treat” and prelog it. Then I feel in control. Because I’ll be honest since menopause I’ve had a problem with what I call bingeing sweets. Maybe 600 extra calories. So maybe not true bingeing by definition but the out of control aspect Is there. I’ve done much better this past year but it’s still something I have to fight the compulsion to do. That’s why the Just Say No to Late Night Snacking challenge has been so helpful to me. I know I have to post every single day there. So now you all are probably thinking That’s a little too much honesty for us! Tone it down!

    Have a great day!
  • MommaGemzMommaGemz Member Posts: 462 Member Member Posts: 462 Member
    Day 134 (Thursday)

    New Low!! 174.4!

    Lost-to-Date = 21.8 lbs
    Lbs-to-go = 9.4

    Whooo!! I finally feel rested! I took some Benedryl and actually slept through the whole night after I managed to go to sleep. What a difference uninterrupted sleep makes! I don't want to make Benedryl a habit, but when I do resort to it - it is glorious.

    Moving my step goal down to 7500 feels SO much better and less stressful than 10K and it hasn't affected my weight loss. I think I'm getting closer and closer to that sweet balance of calories, water and steps to make the magic happen.

    I am in the very beginning, infant stages of my book writing process and it's so exciting! The book coaching team guided me toward writing a different type of book and I really love where this is going. We're doing a lot of preliminary planning and structuring first and I keep wanting to dive ahead and go, go, go - but this is a very healthy, meditation-based publishing group and they want us to pace ourselves and take our time.

    Daily Goals:
    Calories - ✅
    Steps - ✅
    Water - ✅

    @thelastnightingale "retraining ourselves to be honest." I really love this phrase. It's so hard to acknowledge and talk about the dusty and imperfect aspects of our lives. It's OKAY to be imperfect because... perfection is impossible! And trying for it is stressful and futile. We all struggle, we all have areas of our lives that are hard, and I think we all want to get better at things. If we get in the habit of cheering each other for successes, and picking each other up when we're low, rather than trying to be "better than" or "the best" at something, then we can all have satisfying and authentic lives.

    @clutterqueen One of my meditation teachers has often said that in Western culture, self-hatred is the common cold of the psychology world. We are not our own best friends. We are trained to treat others well, and so many of us suffer from people pleaser syndrome. We have also had the expectation to be "perfect" or "better," built into us by commercials, advertising and social media. So when we aren't that working mom who can flawlessly handle work, kids, cooking, Pinterest parties and also work out and look great - then we feel so inferior. There is such a blessed trend going around to celebrate "real" parenting. To focus on the love rather than the performance of parenting. To show it in all its messy glory - and it is so uplifting and helpful! That can easily be translated to so many other areas in life, and I am trying to achieve that in health and weight loss. It ain't all going to be perfect, but I'm going to keep trying and not punish myself along the way.
  • thelastnightingalethelastnightingale Member, Premium Posts: 421 Member Member, Premium Posts: 421 Member
    @clutterqueen Has he always been a snorer, or has that come in more recent years? Snoring is dreadful, you have my sympathies. My ex always snored horrifically when he had been drinking and/or had put on some weight (it doesn't take much extra neck fat to trigger snoring).

    @MommaGemz Oooh, I've never taken Benadryl before. I do legitimately have to take allergy meds on a semi-regular basis, but it hadn't occurred to me that I could try switching to a drowsy version to kill two birds with one stone. Just one really good night every once in a blue moon would be magical. Next time I need new meds, I'll explore the idea with the doctor.

    "The common cold of the psychology world"... I definitely see the analogy. If my sister wants something, I buy it for her. If I want something, I spend weeks if not months deliberately over whether I can justify having it. Our mother is always saying how mean to myself I am.

    When I was little, I used to always keep cute stationery in its packaging "for best" rather than rip it open and enjoy it. If I travelled and there were two nice tea bags in the room, I'd only use one, maximum. I'm trying to unlearn this behaviour and just take more joy out of things - spending money and time on "frivolous" things like eye masks fits well into that strategy. I don't "need" to do it, but I enjoy it, I can afford it, and I should be nicer to myself.

    I'm not enjoying my extra TOM water weight right now, but I did muster up enough energy to make some carrot soup, which I hadn't done for a while. When you feel like eating and eating, being able to switch one heavy thing for something so tasty and low in calories is brilliant. I need to remember to make soup more often, especially as we're now heading into winter. Comfort food doesn't have to be fattening - sometimes it's just something warming on a rainy day.
  • clutterqueenclutterqueen Member Posts: 496 Member Member Posts: 496 Member
    @MommaGemz You are so right about how we are trained to treat others better. We have beautiful luxurious bath towels for guests, I and then my husband and I used the worn out ones. For years! Not any more. Now I have nice bath towels for us to use too! I’ve always had nice sheets for the guest room( in storage now) while my sheets get worn out. Nice expensive bath soaps for guests. Now I use nice soap for me...sometimes as a treat! I could go on and on about the gift buying for others what we deny ourselves. Where does it end?

    @thelastnightingale Glad you took the time to make some nourishing soup! I love to make homemade soups. I have to have individual rolls with it because I can’t bake a loaf of French bread and only eat a small piece! But I can eat one French roll.

    Yes, my husband has always snored, even when we were first married ( 30 years in Dec) and he was so incredibly lean. He does have a gut now and fat in his face and neck that don’t help. But I’m the one who’s developed sleeping issues even though I’d like to lay it all at his feet!

    My day:
    Exercise: ✅
    Tracked: ✅
    Under:✅

    The debate made me want to eat but I resisted.
  • GabiV125GabiV125 Member Posts: 617 Member Member Posts: 617 Member
    Happy Friday everyone!
    @clutterqueen - you are so incredibly organized and driven, I’m reading your posts hoping that some of that will rub off on me too. I need to push myself to start a physical activity and you have solutions on how to stop yourself from running (no athletic pants- genius!) . I do have a park on the other side of my street and the trail continues through another 2 parks, but it’s still suburbia, no way to think I’m in the mountains somewhere. Your hiking sounds spectacular and that restaurant on the lake , absolutely dreamy.
    I’ve been married to a professional snorer for 24y, I know what you mean. Maybe because I was younger, or my little kids got the best of me then, or I simply don’t remember it well, but I much rarely used to be bothered by it. In the past 5y or so, my sleep intensity and length changed for the worst and I wake up multiple times a night.
    In 25y I tried : talking, waking him up, gentle turning, whistling, singing, elbowing , but some nights I just get my pillow and move in the other room. If changing rooms is not an option, than I make him change his position and it helps for noise levels, at least until I fall back asleep. The best technique to make him turn over ( has about 80lb on me) is to lift his elbow (while on his back) an inch or less- it has to be a brain thing where the body feels unbalanced and turns to get comfortable, but it worked every time.
    Sorry ladies if I got into snoring talk so bad, but this subject has been greatly analyzed many nights over years 😁
  • GabiV125GabiV125 Member Posts: 617 Member Member Posts: 617 Member
    @MommaGemz - I like your common cold of the modern world expression . It’s a brilliant description and is so true for so many of us. How we got there is different, but by middle age all these inadequacy feelings are more at home than they should be.
    I only came here for weight loss, but these eye opening discussions will help with the other part of well-being that gets most ignored- the mental aspect.
    @thelastnightingale - did not look at it as being untruthful to myself, but I found so many excuses to not put an effort for me, that it compounded into a lie. Didn’t have time to exercise, or read a book, or to keep up with the weight loss plan, but I could have carved some. The cooking, cleaning, dishes, dr appointments, extra time at work etc could be partially delegated or cut, but I was conditioned to think it’s my duty and any less will be failing to show them that I love them. I don’t think I do a lot less now then 10y ago, I just dropped (most of) the guilt associated with it.

    I had an easier week and I eased up on my walking- I still had some intense days, but did not force myself to go another loop just to reach my self assigned step count. The eating was so much easier because I officially switched to soups and stews ( my favorite, so and so for my husband). I throw in lots of vegetables along with whatever meat is available, so they are never heavy in calories and very filling. Anyway, my scale dropped half a pound! That’s my reward for 2 good weeks. Yay!
  • thelastnightingalethelastnightingale Member, Premium Posts: 421 Member Member, Premium Posts: 421 Member
    @GabiV125 Congratulations on the half-pound! :)

    @clutterqueen Oh, gosh, 30 years of snoring? It really must be love!

    Today, I point blank refused to work on my day off - I might have taken someone's head off for interrupting me for something that wasn't time-critical and didn't need my specific expertise. I stuck to my plans of getting a massage done and goodness, the change in me beforehand and afterwards was very marked.

    I left with my shoulders back down to where they should be, the stress had left my body and I no longer wanted to scream at people. I know not everyone can safely see a massage therapist right now, but the general principle of self-care being important remains. I am not going to touch a single work email until Monday either.

    I used to really underestimate how key it was to take care of myself. I know better now!
  • MommaGemzMommaGemz Member Posts: 462 Member Member Posts: 462 Member
    Day 135 (Friday)

    New Low!! 173.9!

    Lost-to-Date = 22.3 lbs
    Lbs-to-go = 8.9

    I slept pretty well again last night so I made it through Friday without (too many) thoughts of throwing out my diet. I am so glad for it to be done though, because that means all the errands and chores are done for the day and tomorrow I can sleep in and relax.

    I did have a minor panic attack that was book related. I imagine every budding author has moments when they wonder if they have anything real to say, or if it will stand out from the millions of other books out there. I hit that point. Thank goodness I'm working with people who can coax me down off the wall and get me back to writing. And I ate pizza for lunch as a result - however.... I measured it and squeezed it into my calories, so WIN.

    Daily Goals:

    Calories - ✅
    Steps - ✅
    Water - ✅

    @thelastnightingale Hurray for a day off and a massage! Well done enforcing your boundaries and self-care!

    @GabiV125 I love, love, love soups and stews in the Winter. I made some beef stew last weekend and it was soooo yummy!

    @clutterqueen The debate nights also stress me out, but at least that was the last one! My husband doesn't snore, but he CAN fall asleep in about 30 seconds (no exaggeration) and it makes me so jealous.
  • kcd394kcd394 Member Posts: 82 Member Member Posts: 82 Member
    Sorry for the hiatus. I've been busy still, some nights getting home at 830. Still haven't made the time to exercise cause mentally I'm just done by the time I get home and eat and try to get the kitchen clean. It all caught up with me yesterday and it took me longer than usual to do work tasks because of a migraine. Came home and cried. First time I've had a full on breakdown in front of Mat and he supported me well. I think the endless days of 8 am to 8 pm are wearing on me. Haven't had a vacation this year and it may be time to ask for a few days off. Gonna start tracking how often migraines are occuring before the vacation and after to see if the vacation helps reduce them. Plus I'll be trying some other tricks at work to help me keep up so I can get out of there by 530 or 6 instead of 8. I do need to get a cliff bar stash or something I can eat quick so that when I'm in surgery all day or don't have time to sit for lunch I can at least get that down. Used to keep that handy but I've been good about sneaking in lunch between things so I quit keeping that stash when it ran out.

    Despite the great breakdown last night i have finally gotten the scale to go the right way. Tried hard to keep up on cooking at least so i hit a new low of 182. Still hanging in there and will post more later.

    Great job all of you sticking with things. I love this group.
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