Help!! Skinny Husband wont change to healthy meals

ernielaurie

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

Totally this!!! You are making two different meals, he's not making you! So stop, if he doesn't eat what's in front of him, he'll have to get his own meal.

mgeralt

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

I agree..

ks4e

My husband is naturally thin because of his super fast metabolism. While I would appreciate his support by having him eat healthier with me, as well as exercising with me, I am not his mother and cannot force him to do anything. Since he works hard, I will cook him the unhealthy foods he loves, as well pick up any fast food he likes on my way home from work. (Hey, dude works hard at nights while watching our children during the day, so he's allowed to eat what he likes!) I make healthy meals for myself, and it doesn't bug me that my husband isn't on board with me.

aliencheesecake

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

Yup yup. I mean, I can understand him not wanting to switch to rice and salad, but I make great meals with perfectly healthy ingredients that my husband (the featherweight junk eater) loves! And if he's not happy with that compromise, he needs to microwave his own heart attacks!

Camera_BagintheUK

I am very upset and I dont know what to do lately.. I am very interested in becoming healthy and losing weight, however my husband does not like "that stuff" (kinds of food)

What stuff? I can see if you're eating grated carrots and steamed chicken breast with no sauce, he'll turn up his nose. On the other hand, if he's eating fried and processed food all the time, I wouldn't want to be a blood cell fighting my way through his arteries!

I agree with the people questioning why you're cooking all his meals - it's the 21st Century, female emancipation is old news now.

But I also understand it's nice to eat together, food is social, sharing a meal is important.

I think this is one of those situations where you need to both sit down (not at a mealtime) and have a full and frank discussion, both listening to each other, and try to negotiate a way of eating that meets both your needs and tastes.

saxmaniac

Some of the "my way of the highway" responses blow my mind. Great way to have an adversarial marriage. Or no marriage.

I'm not saying you have to cook 2 meals everyday. There is room for compromise on both sides. If he is not cooking for himself then he needs to eat what you give him. You could plan some meals that you can easily incorporate both of your needs. Either by making his meals healthier or you just eating smaller portions of "unhealthy" meals.

See, this is what a sane person would say.

I taught my wife to cook and did most of the cooking when we had no kids. When I cook, I would always take into her tastes into account and try to make something we both liked, for most dinners.

It's called being a decent spouse. How hard is this? Shouldn't you be kind to your spouse? I like my wife. That's why I married her. I like to make things she likes.

These days, when she cooks for our family, she likewise avoids things I absolutely hate. Now If it's something I merely don't like (say, pot roast), I have the option to choke it down or make something myself. If she suddenly went vegan started making stuff I hated every day, I'd remind her that as a rather significant contributor to this household, she should take my tastes into account.

We've never once demanded the other person cook them a separate meal.


tl;dr.

1. He doesn't have to eat stuff he doesn't hates, because you are on a diet.
2. You should take into account other people's tastes when preparing a meal for a group. Especially your SPOUSE.
3. He shouldn't and demand an entirely separate meal from you, and you shouldn't make one.

postrockandcats

Do what I do: eat smaller portions of the more caloric foods and add more veggies to your plate. Experiment with other ways of preparing foods, too; thinner crusts on pizza, baked instead of fried, etc.

Eating healthier doesn't always have to mean throwing everything out of the window. That can be overwhelming and feel like you're depriving yourself.

Also: being supportive doesn't have to mean that the person has to change their life to mirror yours. If you went back to school to change careers, would they have to do the same to be supportive? Of course not! The support comes from them being your cheerleader and a shoulder to cry on when it's needed. Same with this.

PS- cook all the meals you want. Your life, your marriage.

CollieFit

I don't think the "tell him to cook his own dinner" thing is much to do with "emancipation"...

If they are both working the same hours or he's unemployed, then fair enough, but if she's largely at home and he works, why should he then come home and cook his own dinner as well?

ninerbuff

A. he can eat what he wants.

B. He can also cook his own damn food.

THIS.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Fullsterkur_woman

But I also understand it's nice to eat together, food is social, sharing a meal is important.

I still struggle with this constantly. However, after 20+ years of marriage, I'm finally getting it through my head that my husband and I are just way too different physically to make that work. When we were first married, I tried making "meals" but I was never taught to cook. I did an alright job, actually, but I got lazy and it gave way to fast food, restaurant food, etc. And we'd do this off and on for many years.

He's almost 40, lifts like a madman three times a week, and yes, has the metabolism of a hummingbird. He needs to drink a half gallon of whole milk on his way to work and has been known to have a protein bar as a snack on the way to a restaurant. He just needs to eat all teh foodz. He's gained amazing muscle and strength the past few months doing that.

He also has this weird idea of what a meal is. Or maybe I'm the one with the weird idea. He's really the one who cooks more, but when he "cooks dinner", it's usually a cut of meat seasoned and done on the Foreman grill or maybe a deliciously marinated pork loin. Hi, thanks for the main course! Where's the rest? (apologies to agdyl; I think she's just the bee's knees, but her beautiful diet just would not work for me!) If I made that meal, there would be the same amount of meat, because we need all teh proteinz, but I'd also have baked sweet potatoes and green beans with mushroom sauce, and a small dessert. He'd take about three bites of each veggie and not touch dessert.

I've also had to get over the idea of just eat the same as him, but a smaller portion. Firstly, that wouldn't work for me, because he's the one who wants smaller portions. Therefore, he needs to eat more calorie-dense foods to maintain weight. That means I'd get *even less* food, and I would be a raging Godzilla monster of hungry and pissed off in about two meals. I also wouldn't be getting adequate nutrition. There's no way I could get enough protein eating tiny portions of steak, sausage, and ground beef. I need to be eating ground elk, chicken breast, and fish, and plenty of it!

So we've come to accept that we're Jack Sprat and his wife. He's extremely supportive of me in everything I do, which is part of why we've been married for 20+ years. He'd never want me to be cooking things for him if they didn't work for me but I found them really tempting. I fix my meals when it's time for me to eat them, and he fixes his when it's time for him to eat them. The sun still comes up every morning.

dazzer1975

Easiest thing in the world to sort out.

You carry on preparing the foods you want to eat, for you.

Leave him to it, he is a grown adult who can source and prepare the foods he wishes to eat.

Job done, no excuses from anyone for anything then, look after your own needs first, otherwise you can't take care of anyone elses even if you wanted to.

francescajeanfox

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

This

francescajeanfox

Easiest thing in the world to sort out.

You carry on preparing the foods you want to eat, for you.

Leave him to it, he is a grown adult who can source and prepare the foods he wishes to eat.

Job done, no excuses from anyone for anything then, look after your own needs first, otherwise you can't take care of anyone elses even if you wanted to.

And this.

rosellasweet

What is this, the 1950's? He's a big boy, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him to make his own damn meals.

^This. This is what I do. But when he cooks you bet your *kitten* I eat it Just smaller portions.

scruffykaz

1. Why should he have to change to healthy meals if he doesn't want to.

2. Tell him what you will be cooking and if he doesn't want that then he can make his own.

3. He loves YOU not your size so he probably does love you as you

4. You tell him you need support, he encourages you by telling you to keep up the good work when you go to the gym

es513

Try www.skinnytaste.com its a good website with really yummy low calorie foods. I make different recipes all the time from there for my hubby and myself, and he never even knows the difference!!!!

DreamingOfRippedAbs

Eating healthy foods goes beyond just weight. Even though he can eat whatever he wants and can stay skinny, doesn't mean he is healthy on the inside. His organs can be covered in fat and his arteries clogging. Have you tried to explain to him why it's important to eat healthy beyond just to lose weight. Show him the advantages of eating healthy for HIS body type.

IMO, it's absurd to create different meals. Financially it doesn't make sense and time-wise it doesn't make sense. You should work together to find a menu that works with you both.

downinaggieland98

I love that my husband is happy with whatever I put in front of him - he's grateful he didn't have to cook himself. Perhaps you need to have a talk with your husband? Whatever you do, don't give up! This is YOUR health, not his.

This. The advice about telling him to fend for himself is kind of sad. You are married... that doesn't mean that you should stress over cooking 2 meals, but it does mean that you are in it together. Talk to him... see what he would be happy with while making it easier on you. He REALLY needs to be more understanding of your needs so if he just completely refuses to compromise, THEN you can let him figure out his own meals.

By the way, I know it's not the 50s and I also love taking care of my family, even though I work full-time. Don't let these comments get you down.

DreamingOfRippedAbs

The advice about telling him to fend for himself is kind of sad. You are married...

Completely agree.

ggsmamma

I met my hubs when he was 38 and while he might be eating a bit less at 53, he eats whatever he damn well pleases & is all thin/muscles. This is a typical day for my 53 year old -- 8 eggs with veggies/cheese, 2-3 heavy buttered toast, lots of bacon, heavy whipping cream in 2-3 coffees; big homemade cinnamon roll more heavy whip coffee, 2-3 big fat venison sammies with thick bread heavy mayo/spinach, more coffee with heavy cream ; 2-3 salmon steaks, 2-3 helpings homemade heavy cream/butter mashed potatoes, asparagus, and 1/2 homemade pie with ice cream & more coffee with heavy cream. He is a carpenter & commercial fisherman but I know a lot of fat carpenters & commercial fishermen so I'm not sure where he puts it?!? We all think he must be packing a tapeworm or have some absorption issues...