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  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,283 Member
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    The best time to put up your Christmas tree is the day you have your own place. As a child, I visited the Petrified Forest in Arizona, USA. For those of you who don't know, this is a national park that has a vast amount of petrified wood. Petrified wood is incredibly interesting to look at and feel. So I'm thinking, why buy a new Christmas tree every year? Why not let a tree petrify year by year and end up with a tree that is the envy of your neighborhood?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zTbY4Tl2CQ

    Hmmm, how exactly do I hang these lights and ornaments on a petrified tree?
  • sparrish47
    sparrish47 Posts: 60 Member
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    Can’t you just climbed the tree, Unless it’s a blue spruce. Of course I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole. Oh, maybe you could pe vault to the to the roof of the house!

    Speaking of vaults, anyone know where I can find Bonnie and Clyde? I don’t know how I’m gonna pay for Christmas presents this year! Do you think I should look up Bonnie and Clyde’s phone number in the phonebook or do they have Instagram?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 17,968 Member
    edited November 2022
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    frankwbrown wrote: »
    The best time to put up your Christmas tree is the day you have your own place. As a child, I visited the Petrified Forest in Arizona, USA. For those of you who don't know, this is a national park that has a vast amount of petrified wood. Petrified wood is incredibly interesting to look at and feel. So I'm thinking, why buy a new Christmas tree every year? Why not let a tree petrify year by year and end up with a tree that is the envy of your neighborhood?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zTbY4Tl2CQ

    Hmmm, how exactly do I hang these lights and ornaments on a petrified tree?
    Have you heard of Silly Putty? That ought to do the trick for hanging those ornaments on your petrified tree. I haven't checked on its availability though, so if you're unable to find any (or enough) you can use ABC gum in its place. Start chewing.

    I'll leave this for the next person...
    sparrish47 wrote: »
    Can’t you just climbed the tree, Unless it’s a blue spruce. Of course I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole. Oh, maybe you could pe vault to the to the roof of the house!

    Speaking of vaults, anyone know where I can find Bonnie and Clyde? I don’t know how I’m gonna pay for Christmas presents this year! Do you think I should look up Bonnie and Clyde’s phone number in the phonebook or do they have Instagram?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,273 Member
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    sparrish47 wrote: »
    Speaking of vaults, anyone know where I can find Bonnie and Clyde? I don’t know how I’m gonna pay for Christmas presents this year! Do you think I should look up Bonnie and Clyde’s phone number in the phonebook or do they have Instagram?

    Hate to break it to you, but Bonnie and Clyde have left the life of crime behind and are now trapeze artists in a travelling circus. If you're financially strapped, perhaps you can start a multi-level pyramid scheme where you recruit 5 people to buy one Christmas tree ornament each, then they each sell one ornament to 5 additional people with half the proceeds going to you, then those people...you get the idea. Soon you'll have so much money that instead of buying presents, you'll simply be wrapping 10's and 20's to give away.

    I grew up loving the aroma of cinnamon in the kitchen around the holidays, but my daughters aren't fans and want something different to sniff. Any suggestions on holiday-appropriate scents?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,283 Member
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    Next time you're at the gym, break into all the lockers and find the smelliest gym socks. Take them home, throw 'em in a pot, and simmer for a while. Optionally, add a little stinky cheese to the mix. Your daughters will love it, or just maybe, they'll ask you to simmer some cinnamon sticks with cloves instead.

    What should I do to entertain my older brother who is visiting for a week?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 17,968 Member
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    Hop on a plane with your brother and meet me at the German Christmas Market - more specifically... Römerberg, St Paul's Square, Main Quay, Hauptwache. I won't be able to get there until Thursday, so you have time to pack and buy your airline tickets. Lattes are on me.

    I got bad information from my client about the working conditions here. I was told the convention center was freezing cold and to bring warm sweaters, extra layers, boots, etc. because the heat wouldn't be on until Wednesday. It is, in fact, sweltering in the little office I'm working in and of course, I'm over-dressed. I can't get to a store to buy anything with short sleeves. Does anyone have a creative way I can dress a little cooler for the next couple of days?
  • I_AM_ISRAEL
    I_AM_ISRAEL Posts: 160 Member
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    Eating anchovies out of a can in between meals.

    How does one exercise self discipline?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 17,968 Member
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    I'm exercising self discipline right now by not commenting on your response to my question. How to do that is a closely guarded state secret.

    Does anybody have a better wrong answer to what to wear to stay cool when you've brought the wrong wardrobe?

  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,283 Member
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    Sure. My suggestion is: discard your clothing and instead fashion a suitable covering out of post-it notes. They stick to you but are easily removed, they come in numerous colors, and they would provide plenty of ventilation. Just don't try swimming in them.

    What's the dress code for German Christmas Market?

  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 17,968 Member
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    The dress code for the Christmas Market used to be Lederhosen and your favourite wool sweater. However, coincidentally, that dress code changed at 4:30 this afternoon (7:30 am your time). As luck would have it, the dress code is now any suitable covering fashioned out of red and/or green post-it notes. You're in luck - I've recently stocked up on post-it notes of all colours and am more than willing to share. 😉

    Okay - I've never been to a Christmas Market. What kind of souvenirs can I expect to find there?



  • Kenn1414
    Kenn1414 Posts: 389 Member
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    You can find lots of Taco Bell themed Christian memorabilia. They say these are a great way to encourage people to live mas Christ.

    What's the best way to cook a steak?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 17,968 Member
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    Take it to Taco Bell and ask them to cook it for you. The more expensive the cut, the better they'll treat it.

    What is @nossmf up to these days? He hasn't posted here since last month.
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,283 Member
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    @nossmf is busy writing an instruction manual on how to use a steak knife to cut meat. His hope is that his wife and daughters will read it and embrace it's methodology, thus allowing him to eat his meals while they're still hot.

    When's the right time to take a nap?
  • Kenn1414
    Kenn1414 Posts: 389 Member
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    Just after waking up from deep sleep. Going to sleep is like the perfect practice run before a nap, as it gets your body used to it.

    What's the best time to go to the dentist?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,273 Member
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    I booked you an appointment which starts...five minutes from now. Stop reading this thread, get in your car, and get moving!

    ***Editor's note: I checked this thread daily for 4 days after making my last response, no activity. I unplug for one day, and suddenly there's TEN responses! I wonder if that's the secret to getting people to post in this thread... ***

    As of lunch today, at T-Day plus 12 days, I finally finished off the last of our Thanksgiving dinner leftovers. I'm a little tired of turkey and want to serve something different at Christmas dinner. Any suggestions?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,456 Member
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    I’m sorry but it’s Turkey at Christmas, no ifs ands or buts. I’ll send you 12 more recipes so you don’t get too tired of it from Dec 25th to Jan 5th.

    I’ll be honest, I’m not in the Christmas spirit yet though I’ve tried some of my favourite non-food related traditions to get myself there. Can you suggest a holiday movie or other non-food related activity to get me feeling ready for the season?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,273 Member
    edited December 2022
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    Christmas is a season of giving and caring for your neighbors. Look around your neighborhood to see which neighbor may also be needing a spirit boost, as evidenced by a lack of lights or other decorations. You can help to raise BOTH your spirits by decorating for them! Use your imagination or pick a theme from your favorite Christmas movie (Krampus or Die Hard are rarely employed...won't they be impressed by the depth of your Christmas lore!). But in a pinch, you can always just purchase several rolls of toilet paper filled with Christmas images (yes, such exists, google it) and toss all over their yard in joyous celebration of the spirit moving you.

    My son just received medical clearance to enlist in the Army, and he reports for basic training in January. Since this will be his last Christmas with the family, we want to make it extra special. Any suggestions for how to make this holiday memorable for him as he moves on to the next chapter in his life?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 17,968 Member
    edited December 2022
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    I think you may have answered your own question above. Why not ... look around your neighborhood to see which neighbor may be needing a spirit boost, as evidenced by a lack of lights or other decorations. You can help make this a Christmas to remember by letting him decorate for them! Perhaps you should encourage him to decorate the neighborhood grumpy man's house ("You kids get off my lawn!") in the middle of the night.

    That was my lame and lazy response so I could get to my RIGHT answer. Hug your son and thank him for the service he's preparing to give. Send him lots of letters while he's in bootcamp in plain, 'not decorated in any way' white envelopes. (I have experience here.) Colored envelopes (especially yellow) will incur the ire of his drill sergeant and will likely result in extra push-ups. (Although this did foster some friendships with the recruit I wrote to in that those young men were allowed to share these extra push-ups among themselves to help out the yellow envelop receiver.) I also ended up writing several "to any soldier" letters after I was told there were several young recruits who never got mail and some of them were quite melancholy about that. One of those young men sought out my young man to tell him to please thank me - it had lifted his day in what had been a tough week.

    How do you handle it when a political topic arises in a group discussion (particularly at work) in which it's clear you have different views than most everyone speaking? My serious response is to either leave the conversation or find a way to change the subject. With the thread title in mind, I'm wondering how others handle these situations.


  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,273 Member
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    Calvin of the comic "Calvin and Hobbes" has always provided invaluable inspiration for how to handle most any situation in life. In the event of being trapped listening to somebody saying something which he finds boring, his body remains smiling while he mentally escapes into his alternate persona, Spaceman Spiff, an amazing hero who travels the cosmos. I suggest finding your own escape identity, perhaps "Cavern Cmsienk" who roams through mysterious tunnels deep beneath the surface, finding valuable gems and negotiating peace treaties with never-before-seen races. Your real-life smiles while gazing on your mental-diamonds will convince the other parties you agree with whatever they just said. When perfected, you can expand the situations of escape to include not just political discussions, but also vendor contract renegotiations and while waiting in line for a latte behind a customer who cannot make up their mind.

    My company just distributed end-of-year gifts to its employees...bags, shirts, BBQ sets, etc. I would have preferred receiving a bump in my paycheck instead. How should I go about making this suggestion to my boss for next year?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,456 Member
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    I think as technology increases, the art of the ransom note is under appreciated. I suggest a craft project while in those endless Teams meetings that could have been an email…

    0jgnygcb668m.jpeg

    What’s your favourite festive childhood memory?

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