Immediate Gratification
Diatonic12
Posts: 32,344 Member
That emotional hit of happiness that hits you when eat without delay. What tools have you used to slow things down and keep your head engaged?
4
Replies
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Make really good food, savor every bite.8
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One of the best things was learning that immediate gratification is not so gratifying. It's taken me almost 5 years to tamp down those old urges. I've learned to sit with my portions. They're mine, all mine but I don't need more than my fair share. I'm leaving the rest for someone else.
I enjoy sitting with my portions for at least a minute or two. It's a different kind of muscle memory that grows stronger with use. In the beginning, your teeth may be set on edge but it changes as the months pass by. You no longer feel a sense of unfairness or self-pity because you can't take more helpings than you need.23 -
The best thing for me has been making sure that I eat something sweet every single day. That way, when I am confronted with something, I am reminded that I eat treats every day and so I don’t need to feel deprived. It really works for me.22
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Journaling: I can just have a mind dump on paper to figure out if I really want to have a food dump in my stomach. Instead of stuffing my feelings deep down under a pile of food, I can get them out on paper and find some relief. Because truth be known, too often I have dealt with anxiety, restlessness, or stress by using food when I wasn't even hungry.
Adding...this helps me appreciate my feelings in the moment and food when I'm actually hungry.17 -
All good thoughts above. In addition, over time, the little devil on my left shoulder has learned that eventually the little angel on my right shoulder will count immediate gratification indulgences, and there will be some compensation. The little devil used to convince me that this or that treat wouldn't count, just this time. But the little angel was very consistent, so eventually I learned it all counts (whether I count it or not, and I will). The satisfaction of the indulgence isn't so great that it outweighs the dissatisfaction with the argument I have in myself about whether to indulge. It took a lot of repetition to learn this.
I still indulge in immediate gratification, just less often and on a smaller scale (that's easier to work in the plan).8 -
All good thoughts above. In addition, over time, the little devil on my left shoulder has learned that eventually the little angel on my right shoulder will count immediate gratification indulgences, and there will be some compensation. The little devil used to convince me that this or that treat wouldn't count, just this time. But the little angel was very consistent, so eventually I learned it all counts (whether I count it or not, and I will). The satisfaction of the indulgence isn't so great that it outweighs the dissatisfaction with the argument I have in myself about whether to indulge. It took a lot of repetition to learn this.
I still indulge in immediate gratification, just less often and on a smaller scale (that's easier to work in the plan).
WAIT! You got an angel! WTF.... I was given two devils! AHHHH26 -
When I feel myself leaning towards that gratification, I remind myself how much deeper and lasting the gratification is after eating on plan.11
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No eating in the car! I sometimes cave to something yummy and portable that I feel guilty enough to want to eat it on the way home so no one knows... Keeping my car super clean and not allowing myself or anyone else to eat in there has helped! I have to put any indulgences away. Then I try to go for a snack that is both labour-intensive and healthy. A whole grapefruit, peeled, sectioned. Some dill pickles, sliced and nicely presented - they really kill the cravings for both sweet stuff and crunchy/salty snacks. Sometimes. But that instant gratification thing still happens from time to time - then I spend a few moments a half hour later when I'm not feeling too great thinking about that bad result and all its physical aspects. I want to remember it when I'm tempted, and often that works too.6
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Yesterday I made a sandwich and put the bread and lunch meat away before I ate the sandwich, habit for me and I know when I'm done putting it away I can sit down and eat without knowing I have to put it away afterwards, no nagging thoughts. Anyway, my husband would get everything out, make the sandwich and eat immediately just shove it in his mouth without putting anything away. Then he forgets or takes hours to put everything away. It is so dang annoying, so so annoying. And I could remind him two hundred times and he still makes no effort to do better. Point is put your food away first before you enjoy your meal/snack. One, it delays gratification to let you appreciate it more for a couple more minutes and two, you're done and can relax. Helps me delay instant gratification, common sense for me but husband hasn't figured it out yet. I'm being a little bit mean...10
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Maybe I'm missing something here, but honestly, I think I kind of don't delay gratification, mostly.
If I'm hungry, and it isn't almost time for a meal, I usually eat something small and satiating, quite soon. While losing, I had single-serve shelf-stable protein-y snacks in the car for just this purpose. I've also bought a hard-boiled egg or string cheese or something for the same reason. I'm personally worse off if I let perceived hunger (true hunger or not 😆) keep growing. If I give it a li'l jolt of gratification, it tends to hop back on its shelf and stop bugging me.
I guess my strategies are more like:
* having small stuff around as a go to, because it's that first couple of bites that are the most gratifying hedonically anyway (lately I'm liking individually-wrapped good chocolate at about 45 calories, dried fruit in small amounts, string cheese, Kind minis, and crispy broad beans, but the list changes over time),
and
* being a little bit conscious of considering whether I'm really hungry vs. just bored or some other thing that should be addressed more directly.
If I'm hungry and it is almost time for a meal, I'd probably start planning it. If I'm at home, I'd maybe even start cooking it. Sometimes when I get a meal, my first move is to cut up some carrots or wash some cherry tomatoes, or something like that, and start snacking on that while I cook.
Hedonism is one of my bigger personal obstacles, but experience tells me I'm better off - I'm happier and it actually *works* *better* - if I game it, rather than try to fight it.15 -
I could watch those cats for days.
https://positivepsychology.com/instant-gratification/
" A desire to avoid delay: it’s uncomfortable to engage in self-denial, and all of our instincts are to seize any opportunity for pleasure as it comes.
Age: as you have likely already noted, younger people have a tendency to be more impulsive, while older people with more life experience are better able to delay and temper their urges.
Imagination: choosing delayed gratification requires the ability to envision your desired future if you forego your current desire; if you cannot paint a vivid picture of your future, you have little motivation to plan for it.
Cognitive capacity: higher intelligence is linked to a more forward-thinking perspective; those who are born with more innate intelligence have a tendency to see the benefits of delayed gratification and act in accordance.
Impulsiveness: some of us are simply more impulsive or spontaneous than others, which makes delaying gratification that much more difficult; this trait is associated with problems like substance abuse and obesity.
Emotion regulation: individual differences in emotion regulation also impact our tendency towards instant vs. delayed gratification; emotional distress makes us lean towards choices that will immediately improve our mood, and those who have developed emotion regulation problems are especially at risk.
Mood: even those with healthy emotion regulation can be led astray by their current mood; we all experience bad moods, boredom, and impatience—all of which serve to make immediate desires that much more seductive.
Anticipation: finally, the experience of anticipation can influence our decisions to delay gratification or seek it immediately in either direction; humans generally like to anticipate positive things and dislike the anticipation of negative things, which can lead to decisions to put things off or to engage in them as quickly as possible to seek pleasure or avoid discomfort."
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https://www.precisionnutrition.com/instant-gratification
"One strategy was a kind of distraction-avoidance.
Avoid looking at the rewards deliberately, for example, covering their eyes with their hands and resting their heads on their arms. Many children generated their own diversions: they talked quietly to themselves, sang, created games with their hands and feet, and even tried to go to sleep during the waiting time.”
As researchers observed, the children who got through the waiting period used “self-directed efforts to reduce their frustration during the delay period by selectively directing their attention and thoughts away from the rewards.”
In practical terms this might mean getting away from the things that are pushing you towards bad habits.
And come up with alternative activities to distract yourself.
Researchers also noticed that kids who were able to focus on the good qualities of the better rewards were able to wait the longest.
Thus, in an experiment of one marshmallow now versus more pretzels later, the kids who focused on the awesomeness of pretzels (yummy, salty, crunchy) were able to wait the longest.
Kids who focused on abstract ideals of things also had trouble. This would be like focusing on an abstract “I want a better body” versus focusing on the actual physical sensation of slipping into a treasured pair of pants.
Focusing on the concrete, tangible, perceivable qualities of the better reward enabled kids to delay gratification — and ultimately be successful."
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Yesterday I made a sandwich and put the bread and lunch meat away before I ate the sandwich, habit for me and I know when I'm done putting it away I can sit down and eat without knowing I have to put it away afterwards, no nagging thoughts. Anyway, my husband would get everything out, make the sandwich and eat immediately just shove it in his mouth without putting anything away. Then he forgets or takes hours to put everything away. It is so dang annoying, so so annoying. And I could remind him two hundred times and he still makes no effort to do better. Point is put your food away first before you enjoy your meal/snack. One, it delays gratification to let you appreciate it more for a couple more minutes and two, you're done and can relax. Helps me delay instant gratification, common sense for me but husband hasn't figured it out yet. I'm being a little bit mean...
Plus then you dont forget and cause you to throw it all out since its no longer safe or palatable.2 -
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4553655/
Mastering over immediate gratification and controlling your impulses
The preference for immediate gratification leads to self-control problems and motivational forces that can generate self-control failure.
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1. Food
"With 37.7% of Americans suffering from obesity and chronic diseases, delayed gratification, and the implications of fast food culture are of utmost concern (Shuval, 2016). The American Cancer Society has linked time constraints and the lack of forward-thinking to the decrease of healthy, home-prepared food intake.
It requires considerable effort to override the instant gratification and satiating food that is readily available.
Peak performance takes an extreme delay of gratification. Someone who wants to get healthy has to view themselves in a personal peak state instead of seeing themselves as someone who might be featured on the cover of a magazine.
Healthy food intake requires eating a smaller slice of cake, once in a while, instead of ingesting the whole cake. Food habits add up quickly, and a healthy lifestyle will always serve someone better than a quick fix or fad diet."
https://positivepsychology.com/delayed-gratification/0 -
There's only choices and consequences.
"Knowing that priming aids in developing a delay choice preference.
Successful people aren’t born with the tendency to delay gratification; they develop the tools used to focus on salient long term goals. Applying priming and growth mindset with adults who are pursuing success can be life-changing.
Each time a human practices delay choice, the ability to repeat that behavior improves. Mindful awareness of choice is critical in creating an opportunity for this growth in choosing a distant goal over reward in the present. Considering environmental and motivational factors carefully, this awareness can be rewarded in successful futures.
Choosing a distant goal is hard work. Successful people are so deeply rooted in attaining that distant goal that immediate reward, not attached to that goal, becomes irrelevant. Consistent daily habitual choice builds up to long term success."
https://positivepsychology.com/delayed-gratification/1 -
Start thinking waaaay down the road in giant month hunks of time or years instead of days or weeks.
"We are not guaranteed a tomorrow. A balance between our cravings for instantaneous rewards and our desire to create longevity in career, relationships, and health is difficult to achieve. Our entire lives require that we weigh the choices of “okay right now” vs. “bigger better later.” As adults, it takes a concerted effort to override the environment to create our thriving personal worlds.
The underlying question in reaching success has been and will continue to be, “How bad do you want it?”
https://positivepsychology.com/delayed-gratification/0 -
Start seeing yourself doing the things you want to do and do all of them on your own terms. See yourself actually putting on those new clothes. That's not a bunch of hippy dippy happy horsesheet. Without a vision you may edge up against your dream weight and fitness goals but bounce right off of them with just a glancing blow. It's the vision that will keep you there for the rest of your life.
Dig down to the roots and find the deeper reasons for doing all of this or none of it will stick.
2 -
Maybe I'm missing something here, but honestly, I think I kind of don't delay gratification, mostly.
If I'm hungry, and it isn't almost time for a meal, I usually eat something small and satiating, quite soon. While losing, I had single-serve shelf-stable protein-y snacks in the car for just this purpose. I've also bought a hard-boiled egg or string cheese or something for the same reason. I'm personally worse off if I let perceived hunger (true hunger or not 😆) keep growing. If I give it a li'l jolt of gratification, it tends to hop back on its shelf and stop bugging me.
I guess my strategies are more like:
* having small stuff around as a go to, because it's that first couple of bites that are the most gratifying hedonically anyway (lately I'm liking individually-wrapped good chocolate at about 45 calories, dried fruit in small amounts, string cheese, Kind minis, and crispy broad beans, but the list changes over time),
and
* being a little bit conscious of considering whether I'm really hungry vs. just bored or some other thing that should be addressed more directly.
If I'm hungry and it is almost time for a meal, I'd probably start planning it. If I'm at home, I'd maybe even start cooking it. Sometimes when I get a meal, my first move is to cut up some carrots or wash some cherry tomatoes, or something like that, and start snacking on that while I cook.
Hedonism is one of my bigger personal obstacles, but experience tells me I'm better off - I'm happier and it actually *works* *better* - if I game it, rather than try to fight it.
@AnnPT77 I am also in the camp of gratifying my hunger with a "li'l jolt" of something satiating to keep it in its rightful place. 🤗3 -
0
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Diatonic12 wrote: »1. Food
"With 37.7% of Americans suffering from obesity and chronic diseases, delayed gratification, and the implications of fast food culture are of utmost concern (Shuval, 2016). The American Cancer Society has linked time constraints and the lack of forward-thinking to the decrease of healthy, home-prepared food intake.
It requires considerable effort to override the instant gratification and satiating food that is readily available.
Peak performance takes an extreme delay of gratification. Someone who wants to get healthy has to view themselves in a personal peak state instead of seeing themselves as someone who might be featured on the cover of a magazine.
Healthy food intake requires eating a smaller slice of cake, once in a while, instead of ingesting the whole cake. Food habits add up quickly, and a healthy lifestyle will always serve someone better than a quick fix or fad diet."
https://positivepsychology.com/delayed-gratification/
I feel like this mythologizes the difficulty somewhat, puts it on a pedestal, implies an unnecessary level of drama.
For me, low drama is essential. (For others, high drama (the epic battle) may be motivating: Have at, and welcome - do what *you* need.)
l know we all differ, and I respect that others vary from me, have had bigger challenges, psychologically or logistically. But a thing that surprised me, was that weight loss was much easier (once that switch flipped to "committed" in my brain) than I had built it up to be, in my mind. Small steps. manageable changes that add up to results, with patience, over time. (Yup, the reward is deferred, in a meta sense - short term, the goal is the process. (Love Kimny's post at https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/disattle)cussion/10662287/the-goal-is-the-process/p1).
At goal, I felt kind of stupid for not doing it sooner, especially given the big payoff.
Reading that I have to be "in a peak state of performance" and have "an extreme delay of gratification" and that it will "require considerable effort" . . . that would make me feel tired before I even start. Stack that on top of all the blog-fog about how 80% of people regain (or whatever that big percent is), how calorie counting can't work, the importance of superfoods, the need for HIIT or other arcane intense exercise, the carb restrictions and fasting that are necessary, the hormones that will make my body try to defeat me, . . . and on and on and on?
Sounds impossible. Why try? It can be easier than that: Maybe that's a "lucky few" thing, I have no subjective way of knowing.
Personalization: Vital, IMO.9 -
lately when I felt Mr. Hunger coming on I would write down the time and say ok let's see how long you last Mister, well I never would write down when it went away cause I would just get distracted and just doing that instead of reaching for food did it for me
this is mostly the case on the few days I have fasted the entire day, the other thing is I always have a glass of water around and sip, chug, drink it all the time in between meals
also if I really want something like Pistachios I just go ahead and get some but only as much as will fit in the palm of my hand, and yes I go for it and grab as many as I can, ha ha, but that's it, never eat out of the bag - and that's it that's my snack, if I want apple pie, that's tomorrow, kapish
at 48 I am done with Work Hard Play Hard, now I don't shove that food in my mouth in the first place cause I know I can't run it off, I have bad knees
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https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26563536/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31276712/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12095190/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17056407/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25999872/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24281612/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30216595/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24597441/
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The short-run self strives for immediate gratification. The long-run self reflects the long-term consequences of unhealthy behavior on health outcomes and longevity.
There's only choices and consequences. Immediate gratification doesn't work for me and it never did.
Our mileage will always vary. I'm going to keep looking way on down the road.2 -
But a thing that surprised me, was that weight loss was much easier (once that switch flipped to "committed" in my brain) than I had built it up to be, in my mind. Small steps. manageable changes that add up to results, with patience, over time. (Yup, the reward is deferred, in a meta sense - short term, the goal is the process. (Love Kimny's post at https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/disattle)cussion/10662287/the-goal-is-the-process/p1).
At goal, I felt kind of stupid for not doing it sooner, especially given the big payoff.
This! And then working out a strategy for continuing a lifestyle that keeps you (=me) there. I've been thinking as I read the amazing range of posts here at mfp that for me this journey is increasingly about finding an approach that befriends both my body and my appetites, rather than trying to control them strictly or punish them. That for me is also about practising restraint, so perhaps the befriending metaphor doesn't quite work, but I hope you can see what I am getting at. If I love my (non-existent) child I need to restrain that child from doing certain things sometimes without being over-controlling. It's the same with my appetites.2 -
Immediate Gratification doesn't apply only to food. It affects every area of your life.
It's the bait. There are decisions made on impulse with a strong desire for immediate gratification that will cost you for the rest of your life. Instant gratification can be the loss of something greater in the future. It's the rush of the hit. It's convenient but it can hold you back from reaching your goals.
How much of your weekly progress are you willing to give up. You choose. You decide.
Watch the urges and you'll know where your treasure lies. It feels good in the moment but short-term fixes don't fix long-term problems.
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I pre-log for the day. I decide what treats I really want today that I'd like to fit in - Enlightened ice cream? An avocado/cacao brownie? More nuts? Grilled cheese? - and then I put those in along with everything else that will give me a well-balanced day. Then I start removing items that put me over the limit - aiming at keeping the healthier items there rather than ALL the treats I'm in the mood for. Having this structure - I'm going to have ice cream this afternoon, something to look forward to! - has worked really well for me to avoid cravings because there's always something to look forward to. And I do try to save an evening snack unless the calories for the day just don't permit it so that I can end with something and thus still have something to look forward to even after dinner. So logging and the app have really made a difference for me in sticking to my daily limit, knowing that I have scheduled treats for each day.7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrOsu9gpvGE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RpA2f1GRZs
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