S/O Threatens to Leave if You Lose / Don't Lose Weight...
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I didn't read a single reply, but my answer is:
"Don't let the door hit ya in the *kitten* on the way out...."
And then I'd get in the best shape of my life JUST to spite him.
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I thought this was my life once. He never outright said it, but I knew he wasn't attracted to me. He cheated on me...with a woman bigger than I was. So then I assumed I was just worthless in other ways.
Sometimes I wish I'd have taken the hint and gotten the hell out. But if it weren't for that chain of events, I wouldn't be in the best shape I have been since forever.0 -
I've been in this situation before. My first husband gave me not only a hard time about my weight but threatened to leave me if I did not lose weight. I lost 60 lbs, realized I didnt want to be with him, and filed for divorce. After I filed I found out what he was doing on the side anyways and moved on.
8 years later I'm not only better off but much happier with my new husband. Sometimes a door opens and when you take it a better one comes open...
Do what is best for you...0 -
He's the man and the wife always obeys the husband. I would do what I'm told.
Yes absolutely, the only role as a wife is to make my husband happy and if he order me to lose weight, it is my duty as a submissive wife to do so. It is really not that complicated sheesh
lol0 -
I'd tell him 'don't let the front door hit your *kitten* on the way out' and 'remember it is a one way door, not a revolving door'. Then I would lose/gain the weight and have a lot of fun showing him what he's missing!0
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Do what you have to do for yourself. If he/she wants to leave, let him/her. You should be loved and accepted for who you are, however you are.0
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Say goodbye.0
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He's the man and the wife always obeys the husband. I would do what I'm told.
I hope this is a joke.0 -
Wave.
Perfect!0 -
I don't think I'd date a guy who would reasonably think that it was appropriate. Something like that doesn't usually come out of the blue, there would probably be other indications that he was like that before that point.
Even if I drastically needed to lose weight for my health, I would hope my loved one would stick with me to help me do it.0 -
The opposite side of the coin also comes into play. It's not worth losing weight to please someone else...because he'll never be pleased anyway. As you lose weight, he'll become more jealous, needy and demanding as he perceives he has less control over you. So you'll end up in the same place.
Very insightful. Very true.0 -
B bye!
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I would lol0
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Tell them not to let the door hit them in the *kitten* on their way out.0
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I don't always think someone is trolling, but when I do I refer to this post.
In case your not, your S/O sounds scared your doing this to leave him behind, or maybe just maybe it is not about you losing weight but how your acting in towards it. Radical change can get overwhelming. When it just was me on MFP, my wife and I were butting heads. She was constantly saying RELAX DAMMIT. Maybe your guilty of what I was doing taking it uber serious and not everyone in the house wants to be on a diet. If that is the case and it is not the weight loss and more so the attitude with in the actions. Talk about it. Ask for support. Tell them you'll calm down some but to meet in the middle and start the program too. If you can work together it takes the stress of it away. My wife after starting with me no longer suggests the worst places anymore when we eat out with her parents. So now she atleast helps try dirrect the family to a place where there are several dishes to choose from instead of just a salad. It can be stressful to go at it alone and your other might have had it, and just said something stupid while angry. If it was just words in anger talking about it and listening to him might resolve this issue fast. For me it made my wife join up and now she is kicking my *kitten* in weight loss, she feels healthier and we cuddle on the couch more, when months ago she was annoyed by my diet changes
If that is not the case and he just wants you unhealthy so he doesn't have to fear loosing you than that is sick, and give the man the boot, or atleast tell him where the door is.0 -
Dump him and have sex with his best friend.
This has always worked for me in the past, but I don't think so this time. I really, really hate his friends.0 -
did the weight come on after the relationship started?
if i buy a porsche and 2 years later i open my garage and it turned into an '87 geo, i'd be pissed.
It is not my usual wont to disparage the opinions of others by casting personal aspersions, however this would indicate, sir, that you are a douche. Perhaps you would like to revise your opinion or risk being thought brutish by people of character. ... Just sayin'
lol perhaps it was a poor analogy, and the point brought up of personality, sense of humor, etc. are quite valid.
i guess what i was trying to say, in a not so brutish way, is that physical attraction is still key in a relationship. it's not everything, but it is important. if one person completely lets themself go so far as to become unattractive to the other and the relationship suffers (even to the point of ending), i really dont think this should be a huge surprise.
This is much nicer now :flowerforyou:0 -
Talk to a real barracuda of an attorney and let them do their job.0
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Say "peace out", let the jerk walk then lose the weight and look even hotter just for spite! Karmas a b*tch, ladies and gentlemen!0
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it is my duty as a submissive wife to do so.
I just snorted water out of my nose. BWAHAHAHAHHAHAH! Submissive. Ha. That's grand. No, really.:laugh: :huh:0 -
I just posted this in another thread, but it definitely applies here as well.
This!
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You are 22 years old and looks like you are trying to become healthier and as part of that lose weight. You are still young and I assume your S/O is about the same age: you have much to learn grasshopper (as do we all).
Have you talked to S/O about this? Is he/she aware of your efforts? Is he/she being supportive? Is this an attempt to help motivate you, albeit a somewhat immature (literally assuming S/O is about your age), misguided one. If it is the last of these, then discuss with S/O how he/she can be more supportive and that the ultimatum is not the way to do it. If you two can't talk then there are other issues in the relationship you need to work on IF you both decide the relationaship is worth it. If not, move on.
It is also possible S/O is a superficial jerk.
We really don't have enough information to respond with any assurance one way or the other.0 -
I don't always think someone is trolling, but when I do I refer to this post.
In case your not, your S/O sounds scared your doing this to leave him behind, or maybe just maybe it is not about you losing weight but how your acting in towards it. Radical change can get overwhelming. When it just was me on MFP, my wife and I were butting heads. She was constantly saying RELAX DAMMIT. Maybe your guilty of what I was doing taking it uber serious and not everyone in the house wants to be on a diet. If that is the case and it is not the weight loss and more so the attitude with in the actions. Talk about it. Ask for support. Tell them you'll calm down some but to meet in the middle and start the program too. If you can work together it takes the stress of it away. My wife after starting with me no longer suggests the worst places anymore when we eat out with her parents. So now she atleast helps try dirrect the family to a place where there are several dishes to choose from instead of just a salad. It can be stressful to go at it alone and your other might have had it, and just said something stupid while angry. If it was just words in anger talking about it and listening to him might resolve this issue fast. For me it made my wife join up and now she is kicking my *kitten* in weight loss, she feels healthier and we cuddle on the couch more, when months ago she was annoyed by my diet changes
If that is not the case and he just wants you unhealthy so he doesn't have to fear loosing you than that is sick, and give the man the boot, or atleast tell him where the door is.
Wise words. Communication and where S/O and you are coming from are the keys.0 -
Meow!!!! I'm married but I have a lot of young male friends I could introduce you to :smokin:I just posted this in another thread, but it definitely applies here as well.
This!0 -
Show him the door and kick him in the *kitten* on the way out!0
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did the weight come on after the relationship started?
if i buy a porsche and 2 years later i open my garage and it turned into an '87 geo, i'd be pissed.
It is not my usual wont to disparage the opinions of others by casting personal aspersions, however this would indicate, sir, that you are a douche. Perhaps you would like to revise your opinion or risk being thought brutish by people of character. ... Just sayin'
I know I'm going to catch hell for this, but the guy's got a good point. It's not realistic to act like marriage is based strictly on love and that love should be enough to make it work. To at least some degree, most marriages involve a level of sexual attraction as well. If the person you marry lets themselves go (I'm talking major changes, not a difference of a pants size or two), is it fair to say that you should still be sexually attracted to that person? It's not just a weight issue. If you married a handsome guy who wears a suit and tie every day, and he decides to dye his hair blue, cut it into a mohoawk, and tattoo and pierce his body, are you a bad person if you're turned off by that?
If you love your S/O, why wouldn't you want to improve yourself and feel sexier for him or her? Not to mention that you'll feel better about yourself because you're healthier.0 -
I must have missed the part where those two things are mutually exclusive. :laugh:a handsome guy who wears a suit and tie every day, and he decides to dye his hair blue, cut it into a mohoawk, and tattoo and pierce his body0 -
I guess it would go something like this.... "Bye! Don't come back".0
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Dump him and have sex with his best friend.
This has always worked for me in the past, but I don't think so this time. I really, really hate his friends.
Looks like there are bigger issues than just weight... Maybe he'll be lucky if you do leave...0 -
Yessum, absoLUTEly, a wife should obey her husband.....he is the man of the house...she's just a housewife! As of tomorrow, August 24, 2013, I have been telling my wife that every DAY --- and I'm getting really TIRED of looking at that "Hawaiian Good Luck Sign" she gives me...along with that ****eating grin of hers!
Fact is, I'm thinkin' 'bout gittin' me one of them deevorces so I can find me a new mama.
Anybody know any 80-year-old broads that are still in heat? :flowerforyou:
Strong first post.:drinker:0
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