So I’m a Jerk
Replies
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callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
In all honesty if something some random internet person said about you on MFP is bothering you this much, maybe it is time to reasses things? It’s just a Internet forum....🤦🏼♀️ MFP told me so, those exact words. It was regarding a comment that I genuinely meant no harm or disrespect, like a scenario where you mispronounce something wrong your whole life and someone finally tells you the correct way. I wouldn’t consider that person a jerk for informing me. I even stated that I hope it helped. I felt pretty bad that MFP would make issue of it (no one else did) and then I felt, unsettled, like wow, I have contributed for 6 years, and in 400ish posts I have received roughly 2000 positive responses. I don’t really think I’m a jerk, do you? Makes you not want to contribute anymore, ya know? I love this community. I think the dialogue is fun, fascinating, and it’s even cool to debate from time to time. I hope I haven’t hurt any of you on a personal level, and if so I want to sincerely apologize. I’m gonna crawl in a hole now 😐.
Just my .002
No way dude! Random internet people I’m cool with. A forum I’ve supported for 6 years calling me a jerk, that was uncalled for. That being said, I agree one shouldn’t dwell.
Meh, MFP has been worse to me. Remember jail???
Wait what?! Did you correct grammar and spelling? What is this jail you speak of?
If you got too many warnings they would put bars on your profile and restrict posting...
Do they still do that? Or are the forums more tame now?
i haven't seen or heard of anyone going to jail on here in awhile. But I also don't always pay THAT close of attention. I was tossed in there once or twice.
Not for grammar though LOL
usually for ... well, my name is my name LMAO
Good to know the prison population has been thinned...3 -
It’s... IT’S... IT’S A PIÑATA!!!
3 -
You'll get your share of it. I've had several members email me directly because they felt my truth was too harsh on some responses I made back in the day. I think the one that really got the most was one I made on pregnant women using the excuse "eating for 2" and allowing themselves to gain 80+lbs. The responses I got from that were pretty crazy.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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You'll get your share of it. I've had several members email me directly because they felt my truth was too harsh on some responses I made back in the day. I think the one that really got the most was one I made on pregnant women using the excuse "eating for 2" and allowing themselves to gain 80+lbs. The responses I got from that were pretty crazy.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
but but but you were.... right? (runs and hides)
i was obese with both my pregnancies (the first one not as much) and only gained 20 with my first and 16 with my second.3 -
It's similar to 'Wheaton's Law', which I have always been okay with.2
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It’s... IT’S... IT’S A PIÑATA!!!
Hahahaha! Clever lady 😏2 -
I generally like to be corrected, but feel like it's mostly graceless or snarky to correct others, unless I know them well enough to know that they'd appreciate it rather than feeling belittled. Private, rather than public, correction is a nicety, in any case.
IMO, being openly punctilious about details of others' language usage tends to be a class marker: Not upper class, but aspirational, basically lace-curtain class.
OMG, I will have to let my mother or sister know this next time they correct me, hopefully in front of my cousin, from whom I learned the term "lace-curtain Irish." (We're Irish.)
On another message board I privately messaged someone to let her know she was (frequently) writing "peaked my interest" when the correct word is "piqued" and she thanked me.
Last I knew here you had to be friends with someone before you can message them, and I find the idea of sending a friend request in order to correct someone to be odious, so I don't do it.8 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »🤦🏼♀️ MFP told me so, those exact words. It was regarding a comment that I genuinely meant no harm or disrespect, like a scenario where you mispronounce something wrong your whole life and someone finally tells you the correct way. I wouldn’t consider that person a jerk for informing me. I even stated that I hope it helped. I felt pretty bad that MFP would make issue of it (no one else did) and then I felt, unsettled, like wow, I have contributed for 6 years, and in 400ish posts I have received roughly 2000 positive responses. I don’t really think I’m a jerk, do you? Makes you not want to contribute anymore, ya know? I love this community. I think the dialogue is fun, fascinating, and it’s even cool to debate from time to time. I hope I haven’t hurt any of you on a personal level, and if so I want to sincerely apologize. I’m gonna crawl in a hole now 😐.
I'm sure the mod who spanked you was quoting from the Community Guidelines and didn't have any choice in their language. But I get your point.
Also, the guidelines say "attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English" and I do believe you were coming from a place of CARING, not belittling.
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/community-guidelines
1. Play Nice
I WILL:
I will be respectful and understand that everyone is different. Some members are new to this, so be kind to the newbies.
I will remember the human on the other side of the screen.
I will share my opinions while respecting others' thoughts and feelings as well.
I will be ready to hear and accept other opinions that I might not always agree with.
I will ignore users.
I WON'T:
I won’t be a jerk.
I won't attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. I can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but I cannot attack the messenger. This includes attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English, belittling a member for posting a duplicate discussion, or attacking a member for posting in an older discussion. (ie. It’s lose not loose, strong first post, didn’t you already post this today, etc.) Not every member has the same level of education, so I’ll refrain from criticizing a member for not framing their content in a manner befitting a university-level science paper.
I won’t pick apart how something is said; I will focus on the meaning/message.
Terms of use that call users jerks don't really help create a respectful community. "Do as I say, not as I do" is generally not a good policy.
Well said.9 -
You'll get your share of it. I've had several members email me directly because they felt my truth was too harsh on some responses I made back in the day. I think the one that really got the most was one I made on pregnant women using the excuse "eating for 2" and allowing themselves to gain 80+lbs. The responses I got from that were pretty crazy.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Oh man, I can only imagine! But did you get an email 😈
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You'll get your share of it. I've had several members email me directly because they felt my truth was too harsh on some responses I made back in the day. I think the one that really got the most was one I made on pregnant women using the excuse "eating for 2" and allowing themselves to gain 80+lbs. The responses I got from that were pretty crazy.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Oh man, I can only imagine! But did you get an email 😈
The Community Guidelines were just reworded with the "I won't be a jerk" language within the last few years.2 -
You might want to take a look at the Guidelines #15 too....discussing moderation publicly...
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/community-guidelines5 -
kshama2001 wrote: »You'll get your share of it. I've had several members email me directly because they felt my truth was too harsh on some responses I made back in the day. I think the one that really got the most was one I made on pregnant women using the excuse "eating for 2" and allowing themselves to gain 80+lbs. The responses I got from that were pretty crazy.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Oh man, I can only imagine! But did you get an email 😈
The Community Guidelines were just reworded with the "I won't be a jerk" language within the last few years.
Speaking of, you had this in bold when you posted the rules: attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English
Attacks! This didn’t happen. At all. So I guess they need to change it to, whether polite or not, don’t correct grammar. And they can probably take out the jerk part when someone isn’t trying to be a jerk. I respond really well to gifs, maybe replace it with something like that 🤓5 -
This horse is so beaten and dead it's impossible to tell if it's even a horse at this point, and yet I can't stop watching.
I can't decide if this thread is amusing or horrifying, but I'm leaning toward amusing.[/quote
Definitely amusing...0 -
Let me correct myself...
It's definitely amusing! I say my piece and bail, let everyone else throw out whatever it is that they need to and have a giggle over it!4 -
cmriverside wrote: »You might want to take a look at the Guidelines #15 too....discussing moderation publicly...
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/community-guidelines
This is just a discussion at this point I think 😊 It was resolved in the first couple posts. Many of us have tried to make it at least somewhat humorous as it organically carries on. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if they removed it though.4 -
No. But later I got banned for awhile for arguing on line with a guy who set up a fantasy football league on here, mostly with all new beginners, and when some trades were made I called collusion and he dismantled my team. From there it was a war of words.You'll get your share of it. I've had several members email me directly because they felt my truth was too harsh on some responses I made back in the day. I think the one that really got the most was one I made on pregnant women using the excuse "eating for 2" and allowing themselves to gain 80+lbs. The responses I got from that were pretty crazy.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Oh man, I can only imagine! But did you get an email 😈
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
3 -
paperpudding wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »The only time to correct a persons grammar is when you are their teacher, parenting a young child.. or there is an agreement to do so between friends. Otherwise.. it makes the person feel stupid and small.
To correct a person's grammar, if I'm the person and you're correcting me because I said or wrote something incorrectly, I'm grateful!!! Sincerely, honestly, truly appreciative...I would rather have someone tell me so I can correct it, if possible.
Well thats great - but lots of people feel as post above you mentioned - small and belittled and discouraged from posting
I dont think it is ever a good idea on forums to correct the spelling, punctuation, grammar of others
If you really dont understand what was said (as oppossed to jerk-y mock not understanding to look superior about correcting - lose clothing? have you found it yet? )
just ask person to clarify without making it about their incorrect spelling or grammar. There are surely ways to do that without being correct-y.
* all of above are general comments, I did not see specific post OP was upset about.
I saw *a* post, may have been *the* post - there were no relevant comments or requests for clarification. The "jerk" only supplied grammar corrections, including a tip about spacing after a comma, which I couldn't find an instance of in the post that was being "corrected." The post has been removed, so none of the useful advice in that thread will be accessible. Oh, and the grammar correction is deleted, too.5 -
kshama2001 wrote: »You'll get your share of it. I've had several members email me directly because they felt my truth was too harsh on some responses I made back in the day. I think the one that really got the most was one I made on pregnant women using the excuse "eating for 2" and allowing themselves to gain 80+lbs. The responses I got from that were pretty crazy.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Oh man, I can only imagine! But did you get an email 😈
The Community Guidelines were just reworded with the "I won't be a jerk" language within the last few years.
Speaking of, you had this in bold when you posted the rules: attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English
Attacks! This didn’t happen. At all. So I guess they need to change it to, whether polite or not, don’t correct grammar. And they can probably take out the jerk part when someone isn’t trying to be a jerk. I respond really well to gifs, maybe replace it with something like that 🤓
Yes, also in that post I said:
"Also, the guidelines say "attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English" and I do believe you were coming from a place of CARING, not belittling."2 -
No. But later I got banned for awhile for arguing on line with a guy who set up a fantasy football league on here, mostly with all new beginners, and when some trades were made I called collusion and he dismantled my team. From there it was a war of words.You'll get your share of it. I've had several members email me directly because they felt my truth was too harsh on some responses I made back in the day. I think the one that really got the most was one I made on pregnant women using the excuse "eating for 2" and allowing themselves to gain 80+lbs. The responses I got from that were pretty crazy.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Oh man, I can only imagine! But did you get an email 😈
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Get. Him. Back. Here.1 -
kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »You'll get your share of it. I've had several members email me directly because they felt my truth was too harsh on some responses I made back in the day. I think the one that really got the most was one I made on pregnant women using the excuse "eating for 2" and allowing themselves to gain 80+lbs. The responses I got from that were pretty crazy.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Oh man, I can only imagine! But did you get an email 😈
The Community Guidelines were just reworded with the "I won't be a jerk" language within the last few years.
Speaking of, you had this in bold when you posted the rules: attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English
Attacks! This didn’t happen. At all. So I guess they need to change it to, whether polite or not, don’t correct grammar. And they can probably take out the jerk part when someone isn’t trying to be a jerk. I respond really well to gifs, maybe replace it with something like that 🤓
Yes, also in that post I said:
"Also, the guidelines say "attacks against the member’s spelling or command of written English" and I do believe you were coming from a place of CARING, not belittling."
No, I appreciate you posting it cause it hit me the next day that it said attack. I was like, wait I didn’t though. Don’t know why I didn’t notice that word earlier, you even bolded it for me 😊1 -
elisa123gal wrote: »The only time to correct a persons grammar is when you are their teacher, parenting a young child.. or there is an agreement to do so between friends. Otherwise.. it makes the person feel stupid and small.
Hey didn’t mean to skim over your response. I always thought if you meant well and you were helping than people can take it the way they want. I can’t live my life trying to do what I assume everyone else wants me to do. I’ve always lived my life doing what seemed pure in my heart, or at least I try to. But I appreciate your POV and certainly take it to heart.3 -
Dear posters,
Per guideline 15, moderation is not a topic for public discussion. If you ever have a question about a warning please feel free to PM the volunteer moderator or staff member that issued the warning.
Correcting grammar is included in guideline 1 for multiple reasons. We have members from all over the world who deserve the same level of respect regardless of if English is their primary or strongest language, their education level, or if they just happened to typo or had an autorcorrect mishap. Rarely does correcting their spelling or grammar actually help them find answers, and typically it serves to derail topics instead. If you need clarification to answer a question please ask respectfully, otherwise ignore it.
If anyone needs to review the guidelines they can be found here:
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/community-guidelines
Sincerely,
4legs
MFP volunteer moderator15
This discussion has been closed.
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