Less Alcohol - APRIL 2021 - One Day At A Time
Replies
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The closer I drink to bed time, the more awful I sleep, tossing and turning and waking my husband up. This has happened as I’ve gotten older.
Yesterday, I wanted a few beers and or a drink. I went outside to work on transplanting my sprouts to think about it and it just got late and I knew I could not drink anything at that point. It felt good to know I was getting another AF night. I’m still with the 2 AF days in a row schedule.
April
5-AF
1-A Which is good for me; I glad I know I can do it.6 -
I love seeing all the newbie's here, your stories are different but still the same. I am always encouraged when so many diverse individuals come together for a common theme. The struggle is real even if the details are different for each of us but the end goal is the same.
AF last night this makes 5 out of 6 days in April AF.
@dawnbgethealthy congrats on that new job! Sounds like it could be a lot of fun, but I would be so tempted with all those spicy foods...especially garlic naan....oh my I could roll around on garlic naan and be happy for a long long time. (did I mention tandoori chicken too yum)
I get my first covid shot today, I have no idea which one it will be. You have to make an appointment and you get whichever brand they have on hand. They finally are allowing those of us 60+ to get the shot then open up everyone else the 15th of this month. So it will be a battle to get shot 2 I am afraid. I take another medication (injection 1x per month) and the vaccine has to be taken two weeks after my injection. So my window of opportunity is really little.
Ah and the anxiety issue and drinking. For me I never identified with this until recently when I could actually step back and look at my history. Since I started the dark side of this journey in an unhappy and abusive relationship I can almost pinpoint when I started to drink. Unfortunately once I was out (after 16 years) I continued to drink. The consumption did not slow down, I really thought I could not function, sleep or get by in the evenings unless I had 3-4 LARGE drinks = 2 bottles of wine, or 3-5, 3 oz pours. This is when I would black out and somehow the next morning wake up tucked in bed like I should and off to work.
I am so glad I found this thread and I have to admit the first week I stopped was the hardest sleep and functioning wise. Then I would drink for a day or two and the first 3 days AF after that were hard. I am not close to the end of my journey but the gaps between A nights and AF nights are getting longer. I am working on changing my mindset about alcohol to a once in a while treat vs taking a once in awhile alcohol break.9 -
@dawnbgethealthy - Indian food! Well I'm hit or miss depending on the dish but definitely would find it challenging as one would acquire a taste for it smelling and seeing it for days in and days out! It is food after all and I love food! Congrats on your new job!5
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@dawnbgethealthy Sounds like we need to come together at your restaurant after everyone's vaccinated and celebrate! Congrats on 2 offers--I'm sure that felt good.
1 out of 5 drinks this week. Wanted one bad tonight after work frustrations, but it helped that I was going to have to post it here and tell my therapist, lol, because I do not want to drink to escape. Ever. So going to indulge in another episode (or however many are left..muhahaha) of Gypsy.5 -
DH joined me in an AF evening ... we took a walk after dinner.
April accountability: 3/30 days AF
Alcohol: 4 days (9 drinks)
Goal: Limit 1-2 glasses per day; 12-16 AF days per month. Aim to drink no more than 2 nights in a row.
4/1 - AF
4/2 - 3 wine
4/3 - 2 wine
4/4 - AF
4/5 - 2 wine
4/6 - 2 wine
4/7 - AF6 -
just a quick fly by,
Had my first covid shot a bit ago. Of course it is all done by appointment and mine was at 4:30 this afternoon plus the time it takes to actually get the shot and wait your required 15 min. They could not schedule me for my 2nd since I will be out of town in 4 weeks. So now I have to wait at least 2 weeks to try and schedule shot 2.
Not getting home until 5:30 in the eve with dinner yet to cook (oh not really I did plan ahead...got to love an instant pot) but still throws my entire night off and really really really really wanted a drink tonight. The only thing that stopped me was I am still on medication for that sinus infection and I am not going to chance backsliding ......
So a forced AF night but had it not been for antibiotics I would have been all over a scotch and water.
I know it takes time for your brain to function without the triggers or I should say I need to learn to function without 'old' triggers sitting on my shoulder7 -
Thanks so much for all the replies! You all are so kind. It makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one, as much as I wouldn’t want to wish this on anyone!
@dawnbgethealthy youve got that right! Some people thrived in 2020 (how???) while most of us didn’t as much.
@ahoy_m8 ita incredible how in the moment it feels (since it’s a drug) like your anxiety is lowering after the first glass (that sweet spot) and then spikes the very next day. That’s been the case for me at least. I feel it the next day and that’s what would push me to get another glass... to calm the nerves. I have to remind myself of the science about how alcohol works and why it leaves me wanting more 🍷
@lmlmrn so true that we all have different stories but the basics are so similar. I’ve personally learned that anyone can become wrapped in it. I’ve noticed I’m already sleeping better and not wanting to take afternoon naps anymore. Congrats on the vaccine! Hope you have no annoying side effects
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Hi : - )
I am going to sound like a broken record, but my goals are the same as they have been since January 2020:
16-20 AF days per month
NO drinking 2 days in a row
Keep 2 AF days in between drinks days.
3 is my max or I throw up.
Here goes my diary style:
Friday April 2nd - AF - tomorrow will be too so as to get my 2AF in a row.
Saturday April 3rd - AF - just trying to stay consistent with my goals.
Sunday April 4th - Drinks. April showers bring May flowers and all of that. The trails were just...wet. I worked out indoors, got a bunch of little stuff done around the house, then had a few drinks several hours ago followed by water.
Monday April 5th - AF - easy one to do, busy early workday tomorrow.
Tuesday April 6th - AF - I got hired for 2 jobs today that I had previously interviewed for. I turned down the one, and I start training on the one that I did pick tomorrow, so AF tonight for sure. It will be a fun job at an East Indian restaurant where I will become a server once the lockdown is lifted. I will learn the ropes and take phone calls for take-out and things like that until then. Less than half of the money of the other job prospects that I had a few weeks ago, but I think that it will be great and it will supplement my other jobs well financially. Good thing that it will be an active job because I love Indian food a little too much : - )
Wednesday April 7th - AF - Really really wanted to have a few drinks, but I have a video interview in the morning, a busy day with one of my jobs, and then possibly another training shift at the restaurant in the evening. Planned drinks for tomorrow night.
Rolling total: 5 AF days out of 7 days5 -
Thanks to all for the congrats on my newest job. Imagine taking a waitress job at 60? : - )
It is takeout only while we are in lockdown in this province, but it was super busy, and way harder than I thought that it would be. Steeper learning curve than I imagined.
My interview tomorrow morning is for a more grown up job lol, It pays double what the waitress job does (minimum wage here is $15 per hour), but no tips and not active at all. I do like to keep moving, and I just think that waitressing will be fun. I am trying to keep an open mind.5 -
So wonderful to see all of these interactive posts and activity.
Congratulations @dawnbgethealthy on you new job adventure. I have never tried Indian food NOW I have to give it a whirl since your going to be working there. When do you start?
Triggers.......you never can be sure what or why you will experience one that causes you to have unplanned alcoholic drinks. It could be happiness, sadness, boredom, anger, anxiety, peer pressure, etc.
The thing is, for me in advance I take a look at my upcoming monthly schedule and write in special events that I might want to drink at that month. Then I have those already in the back of my head if an occasion arise that I think I want to partake in alcohol. My at least two days AF in between rule has saved me more often than not. Because sometimes if I get on that rolling train it may not stop.
My beverage of choice last night.
A chocolate coconut MOCKTAIL at home
Have a successful day everyone.
8 -
Chocolate coconut mocktail....that looks delicious!
AF yesterday as is the plan for rest of April. I ran into some stress yesterday (have to make some job related important life decisions and my options are not what I want) and got a headache from it so I just declared I didn't feel well and put myself to bed early, reading a book to fall asleep. My body was communicating with me again, it just needed downtime and I listened.
About the anxiety discussion, I had used alcohol to melt it away and un-depress me. It energized me and I got very creative under the influence. But that effect as you know, only lasts a few hours and then the price has to be paid - that night, the next morning, the next day.....and the anxiety and depression return, intensified. So yeah, when you want a drink, it's good to stop and think of that "whole cycle" and talk back to yourself and give yourself some better alternatives.4 -
@lmlmrn it seems my cravings went away after I did my "time"....60+ days AF. I had been going AF for 20-30 days AF to see if that would "reset" me but it wasn't enough AF time to fix my brain, make it stronger and more capable of keeping me in a state of self-control.
I wanted my 5pm cravings to go away for good. That happened at the 2 week AF mark.
I wanted to not have cravings in response to an unexpected stressor, that did not happen until 60 days AF
And I wanted to be able to enjoy drinking on a rare social occasion and not experience cravings the following days after, this happened also after 60 days AF.
But everyone's different depending on their genes and how long they've been drinking during their lifetime, for example. My husband had no cravings after about 30 days AF. He also had a very easy time. Then there's people that have an easier time drinking little every other day. I could do it but did not like the daily effort of having to manage the craving. I just really wanted that craving gone.5 -
DH uncorked a new bottle of wine for dinner this evening. But I decided that I want wine Friday night at my son's home and Saturday night when my daughter comes to dinner ... so I'm sticking to an AF evening tonight.6
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Hello everyone
@globalhiker I can't thank you enough for your experience going long stretches AF. This really does help me, and help to try to explain to my DH, he wants and is 110% supportive and will do what I need to help me. I am so lucky IMHO
had my 1st covid shot yesterday and today I started out real well, his this afternoon, my arm started to ache and all I wanted to do was sleep. I do pray this is gone tomorrow lol
AF tonight (yeah to antibiotics and the fear of a setback) this makes 7 out of 8 AF days this month.
I am struggling trying to change the way I am thinking about a planned A day, the next window would be Tuesday the 13 which is also our 25th wedding anniversary. I can see myself not having a drink that night since DH has work in the am. He wants to do something special that following weekend but I really don't think I want to have a drink just because...One part of me does not want the drink and the other part says go ahead it is a milestone, relax and enjoy. Is this the wine devil telling me I have a FOMO (fear of missing out?) and give it a whirl?
The brain is a complicated creature and I want to heal that grey matter....that sounds gross even as I type it out....bye6 -
Hi : - )
I am going to sound like a broken record, but my goals are the same as they have been since January 2020:
16-20 AF days per month
NO drinking 2 days in a row
Keep 2 AF days in between drinks days.
3 is my max or I throw up.
Here goes my diary style:
Friday April 2nd - AF - tomorrow will be too so as to get my 2AF in a row.
Saturday April 3rd - AF - just trying to stay consistent with my goals.
Sunday April 4th - Drinks. April showers bring May flowers and all of that. The trails were just...wet. I worked out indoors, got a bunch of little stuff done around the house, then had a few drinks several hours ago followed by water.
Monday April 5th - AF - easy one to do, busy early workday tomorrow.
Tuesday April 6th - AF - I got hired for 2 jobs today that I had previously interviewed for. I turned down the one, and I start training on the one that I did pick tomorrow, so AF tonight for sure. It will be a fun job at an East Indian restaurant where I will become a server once the lockdown is lifted. I will learn the ropes and take phone calls for take-out and things like that until then. Less than half of the money of the other job prospects that I had a few weeks ago, but I think that it will be great and it will supplement my other jobs well financially. Good thing that it will be an active job because I love Indian food a little too much : - )
Wednesday April 7th - AF - Really really wanted to have a few drinks, but I have a video interview in the morning, a busy day with one of my jobs, and then possibly another training shift at the restaurant in the evening. Planned drinks for tomorrow night.
Thursday April 8th - 2 drinks, didn't even attempt 3. Nice warm feeling, it was a few hours ago. I will be AF for at least 2 now to follow.
Rolling total: 5 AF days out of 8 days5 -
@MissMay
You know how I love photos : - ) Fabulous! You know that I also love such a pretty glass.
Please share the recipe to those that are looking for good mocktails.5 -
@dawnbgethealthy YOUR NEW PROFILE PICTURE IS DROP DEAD BEAUTIFUL.
The mocktail recipe is really simple
Rim the top of glass with carob powder and coconut flakes
In a shaker add 1/3 ice, BOOST rich chocolate nutritional drink, coconut extract flavoring , rum extract flavoring, 1 large tablespoon cool whip topping.
SHAKY SHAKY then pour into stemmed glass and enjoy.(no one would guess it is a mocktail 😉)
Accountability last evening 2 drinks at home.
@lmlmrn yippee on your 25th anniversary next week. My wedding anniversary is the following week (only the 8th one for us). Hope you sail through the covid shot process. I had a reaction of swelling that started exactly one week after my injection. Giant oval, red, hot spot at the needle site. Lasted a week. Was very odd
Happy Friday gang!
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Yes I love wine and especially the really nice bottles that we buy. But I don't always feel that I need it and it definitely fights my battles with the scale. I found myself since 2018 drinking wine to keep DH from drinking the whole bottle. Thinking okay I'll have a glass or 2 and we'll open just one bottle and enjoy it with dinner. But then I found DH opening a second bottle or pouring a bourbon & coke. When he opened a second bottle I too would continue drinking. On my part it had to stop. It is not good for my health and I recognized that. DH recognizes it too but he is battling his own issues in his mind. He also recognizes that he is possibly an alcoholic like his father and mother.
I've been reporting in to "Less Alcohol" my battle of keeping a few nights AF and not going beyond 2 glasses for at least 2.5 years now as well as encouraging DH to join me for AF evenings, less alcohol, or lets just not go to the liquor store this week or month. I seem to have gotten under control my urge to drink 6-8 glasses alcohol this year. Habit prior to 2019 and slips in 2020 where my sister really helps me spin out of control starting with cosmos then moving to wine ... I avoid that situation now.
Fast forward ... January and August 2020 DH broke the habit and went AF with me both months. We made it the whole month with just a couple of bottles of wine for that entire month.
But ... back to old habits. I can't get DH to join me. So now I'm back to strive for my personal targets. Last night I decided to be AF. DH never offered me a glass of wine ... he knows better and is supportive of my goal. But through dinner and two movies I watched him drink 2 bottles of wine.
I went to bed at 11pm / he at 2:30am. I don't know if he continued to drink or not.
Thanks for listening to my story. I'm really glad I have ya'll to talk to.9 -
@Lilylady3k you have been so hugely inspirational to me all this time and I've admired your progress. I also feel what you are saying, I feel it in my gut and probably because I've experienced this with 2 husbands. It felt like the wine devil had moved in and was sitting on my living room couch, between us both.
It is very good you both were able to do a couple of AF stretches before so it's clear it's totally possible again. And the fact that you decided to focus on continuing to improve yourself is indeed very good, because you have total and direct control over you. And it seems you've started to walk away from enablement, also good.
The tricky part for me was knowing when to not say anything and when to raise a discussion, when the timing was right, and how to deliver the message and have that dialogue. Not saying anything is enablement, I learned. I had many failed attempts, likely because those discussions I initiated when he'd already been drinking and I seemed to be in an angry state and I delivered the message the wrong way, or it was perceived that way. There's lots of people way smarter than me who have guidance on what to do and how to have those key conversations. Steps towards the solution exist....7 -
AF yesterday and plan is AF today. Is it Friday already? Happy Friday! ....time to plan a hike for tomorrow....
About celebrations and how to handle those, I myself am working on that. I suppose the right plan is the plan one designs and what's most in line with one's health goals. I know myself and understand if I celebrate at home, I will almost certainly over-drink.
BUT, if I celebrate by going to a restaurant or place outside the home, I tend to have 1-2 and stop. That's just how I've operated. Maybe it's because it's pricey and I am concerned the waiter will think I am an alcoholic if I ask for #3, or just that I am with my husband and we need to drive home, so I don't want to tempt him into staying for one more drink and risk him getting a DUI. In any case, I think, for me, that my next celebration plan would involve max of 2 drinks (1 would make me happy)....someplace not in my house. Definitely not in my house. Wish I could, but I've proven to myself repeatedly, that I cannot and this I just have to plain accept.5 -
@globalhiker - Yes raising the discussion is always best before a drink is in hand. Never when there is a drink in my hand. I usually tackle it in the morning ... and he has started the conversation during the first drink. But once he picks up the second bottle of wine I limit my comments to something like "I really think it might be time to switch to water can I get you some while I'm up or coffee would you like me to make some?"... sometimes it works.
I state in the morning or around 5pm
"I'm going to be AF today"
and try to stick to it.
6 -
Today is a new day and I ventured to the gym after being gone for a month. Sheesh I thought I would collapse after 30 min on the elliptical. Realistically that was all I could do today, but I feel good about it. It is going to be a slow recovery and I hope to be back up to at least 50 min on the elliptical and 30 mi9n of strength training over the couse of the next few weeks. In doing so I am also going to try and be alcohol free and see if that helps with my endurance.
So here it is mid afternoon and my brain is screaming its Friday lets have a drink!, grr this devil is going to make me nuts somedays. I will be so glad when the devil drops off my shoulder to around my toe so I can kick it ....back later8 -
@lily.ady3k this sentence in your post is so bittersweet, " I found myself since 2018 drinking wine to keep DH from drinking the whole bottle." How extremely noble and loving of you to take up the slack in the bottle to keep him from drinking the entire thing. Unfortunately he may have interpreted it as, I have a drinking companion, YAY.
Either way your heart was in the right place. First we have to beat the devil ourselves. Then maybe we can start picking the layers away and help those we love and care about.
You have made huge strides since 2018 ❤
6 -
@globalhiker a hike sounds like a perfect way to start the weekend. How far will you hike, do you go alone or with your husband?
4 -
Friday night, husband wanted to go out after I got out of work. Things are reopening here properly and he wants to mingle. But I just started back full force working in gardens and put in 3 days of grueling hard core work.
My relax, unwind choice for tonight is hot mint tea in a mug with my feet up, scratching the dogs belly.
8 -
@MissMay - Yes of course it can be interpreted he has a drinking partner ... you are totally correct!
Tonight 1 bottle of wine for 4 of us with a steak dinner. I had 1 small glass of wine and 3 glasses of water.7 -
Hi : - )
My goals are the same as they have been since January 2020:
16-20 AF days per month
NO drinking 2 days in a row
Keep 2 AF days in between drinks days.
3 is my max or I throw up.
Here goes my diary style:
Friday April 2nd - AF - tomorrow will be too so as to get my 2AF in a row.
Saturday April 3rd - AF - just trying to stay consistent with my goals.
Sunday April 4th - Drinks. April showers bring May flowers and all of that. The trails were just...wet. I worked out indoors, got a bunch of little stuff done around the house, then had a few drinks several hours ago followed by water.
Monday April 5th - AF - easy one to do, busy early workday tomorrow.
Tuesday April 6th - AF - I got hired for 2 jobs today that I had previously interviewed for. I turned down the one, and I start training on the one that I did pick tomorrow, so AF tonight for sure. It will be a fun job at an East Indian restaurant where I will become a server once the lockdown is lifted. I will learn the ropes and take phone calls for take-out and things like that until then. Less than half of the money of the other job prospects that I had a few weeks ago, but I think that it will be great and it will supplement my other jobs well financially. Good thing that it will be an active job because I love Indian food a little too much : - )
Wednesday April 7th - AF - Really really wanted to have a few drinks, but I have a video interview in the morning, a busy day with one of my jobs, and then possibly another training shift at the restaurant in the evening. Planned drinks for tomorrow night.
Thursday April 8th - 2 drinks, didn't even attempt 3. Nice warm feeling, it was a few hours ago. I will be AF for at least 2 now to follow.
Friday April 9th - AF - I find that I always want drinks the day after having drinks. I don't want to do that though.
Rolling total: 6 AF days out of 9 days5 -
@MissMay
wow, that Mocktail is not only beautiful, but also healthy!!!
So if you are going to try some Indian food start with the easiest, Butter Chicken.
Thanks for the props on the photo, skating season is over, I had to change it up. This was when I was getting ready for a video interview, had to grab the crazy mop of hair and tuck it back : - ) I painted all of my visible silver with a little hair chalk. Lots of makeup for the video camera.
I never get them quite right for the MFP profile pics, they cut off the bottom and you can't see that until after. It does seem to be a good angle though, I don't think that I really look like that in the day to day life.
It was nice to be able to talk to someone without wearing a mask even though it was on video.
Glad to hear about y'all getting your vaccines. I really hope that we get some shipments of them here soon.
5 -
@dawnbgethealthy YOUR NEW PROFILE PICTURE IS DROP DEAD BEAUTIFUL.
The mocktail recipe is really simple
Rim the top of glass with carob powder and coconut flakes
In a shaker add 1/3 ice, BOOST rich chocolate nutritional drink, coconut extract flavoring , rum extract flavoring, 1 large tablespoon cool whip topping.
SHAKY SHAKY then pour into stemmed glass and enjoy.(no one would guess it is a mocktail 😉)
Accountability last evening 2 drinks at home.
@lmlmrn yippee on your 25th anniversary next week. My wedding anniversary is the following week (only the 8th one for us). Hope you sail through the covid shot process. I had a reaction of swelling that started exactly one week after my injection. Giant oval, red, hot spot at the needle site. Lasted a week. Was very odd
Happy Friday gang!
Thank you on the congrats and congrats to your upcoming celebration!.....
I so want to make that mocktail. I am missing most of the ingredients but you can bet they are coming my way this weekend.....now if I can just find my shaker and martini glasses5 -
@Lilylady3k
I really like your post.
So instead of having some so that your hubby wouldn't drink the whole bottle...he now has to open a second bottle because you have had some of his share, so he drinks 1 1/2 bottles instead of 1 bottle. Conundrum.
It is really difficult not to drink when you are around people who drink, or around delicious drinks.
@globalhiker was fortunate to have her hubby join her on a long leg of AF
Others have not had that chance, I really don't know how you do it...being around it and not drinking yourself. Steady resolve I guess.
@Lilylady3k
You and I have been on threads together for quite some time. When we drink less we really do lose weight.5
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