Less Alcohol - APRIL 2021 - One Day At A Time
Replies
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@Lilylady3k 1st let me congratulate you on your daughter's wedding from last year, and your menu sounds absolutely wonderful....that is one of the moments I could say 'wish I was there' but it is a real downer that they could not get the money back for all the canceled honeymoon.
Speaking of weddings DH and I celebrated our 25th yesterday. The best we could no right now was enjoy one of our favorites 'fresh dungeness crab' all 3.5lbs of it!. We will have another dinner when we fly to visit family at the 1st of May. AND no alcohol toast either. I am amazed at how the time has flown, it really does not seem that long.
@globalhiker I have noticed I am going through periods of 'cranky' behavior lately and had no way to explain it. Your insight helped me put a finger on the problem....TY
April 1-4, 3 AF day 1 A, 3 whiskey and water
April 5-11 AF
April 12-18
April 12 AF
April 13 AF ---whoot whoot 25th wedding anniversary
April 14----
April 19-25
April 26-305 -
@lmlmrn - Congratulations on 25 years together!!! These milestones are to be celebrated and a dungeness crab sounds like a special occasion all in itself!
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I was drinking quite a lot for the past couple of years, nearly daily and that too probably 2-3 drinks if not more. It was affecting my life and my relationship with my wife a lot. Rather than me controlling my drinking (which is how it was), my drinking lately had been controlling me. So this past month I have nearly quit all alcohol and probably had a drink or two since March 15. It has helped my decision making, sleeping a lot better, given me a lot of clarity in my thought process and hopefully it is helping me heal my relationship with my wife (the love of my life) I know I have a long way to go before it gets back to any sort of normal. I have very supportive friends and have joined a workout group that motivates me. I am getting fitter both mentally and physically.
My motivation and tips
- Talk to your friends who you hangout with and they will understand
- Fix a goal (something achievable, but a little bit of stretch) to help you focus. I have a goal to run a 10K in a couple of months.
- Take it one day at a time
- Document your progress (feels better when you write it down)
- My workout group is very motivating when it comes to my running goal
- Do not feel like you are alone in this, you can always find an ally
- Also if you do end up taking a step or two back, dont focus or obsess on that - move forward from there.
I am looking for motivation all the time and would also like to continue to help others through their journey's, so please feel free to reach out.. Good Luck!
UPDATE: My alcohol consumption over the past month - I have had 2 beers and half a glass of wine since March 15. No liquor at all. Honestly have been tempted at times, but have been able to hold off.9 -
Why do I feel like I did good so I can give myself permission to slide?
Went over to my sisters today. She took the day off since my mom is in town, mom's sister and husband came in from Florida this morning and are leaving out tomorrow. One of the reasons I decided to visit in the afternoon instead of accepting the offer for dinner was because my aunt and her husband are heavy drinkers. Well I arrive at 2 and they've (all) already had bloody marys. At 3pm my uncle starts on the bourbon and at 4 the rest of them open the bottles of wine (yep red and white). I leave out without indulging. Then I arrive home to work on dinner. DH pours left over wine from last night into a glass for me and opens a bottle of wine. After he opens a 2nd bottle of wine ... I've now had 3 glasses of wine at home (escaping everything earlier at my sisters).
ARGH in the red tonight but after the 3 glasses of wine made coffee and poured myself a glass of water.
4/14 - 3 wine
Could have been worse but could have been better.5 -
***note to self,
curious observation, after washing my face this evening (have not bothered with makeup in several weeks) I noticed (my skin tone is fair/med with red undertones) that my nose is no longer a permanent shade of purple. It is actually a light/light med red with no purple to be found! wow, just wow. That alone is a great reason for me to stay on this path of less alcohol6 -
chocolate_owl wrote: »Checking in. I'm not in a good place mentally, and posting about how much I've been drinking is going to feel a lot more like kicking myself when I'm down than motivation to do better.
I've been using birth control as an antidepressant since I was 16. Classic anti-depressants weren't great. Went on BC for acne and suddenly felt a million times better, so I stopped the anti-depressants and have just used BC since then. I usually get a little down during the 4 days where I'm taking the non-hormone pills in the pack, but I bounce back when I start the next pack. That didn't happen this month. I want to cry all the time. I'm having a lot of suicidal thoughts that I feel disconnected from but that are very disturbing. I'm supposed to see my ob-gyn later this month so I'm trying to hang in there until that appointment, but I suspect he'll refer me to a psychiatrist, so this could drag on a while.
I'm going to try to count calories, I'm going to try to not drink, I'm going to try to go for walks, but I'm going to accept that there will be more days than usual where I just curl up in a ball on the couch until this is sorted out.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry to hear you are struggling. Depression is a terrible thing to go through- the crying all day, the lethargy, the feeling like you’re in a pit you cannot get out of. But there is help- sounds like your BC was working well until it didn’t. It may just be a simple hormonal Imbalance that can be rectified with another medicine either to replace the BC or be taken in conjunction.
I’d recommend calling the office, telling them what’s going on, and either talking with the doctor or nurse practitioner right away. You don’t want to wait if you’re having suicidal thoughts!4 -
Opening day for golf today, and had one glass at the luncheon. Took a little nap before going to work. Nothing tonight. However, somehow I’m way over my calories- and that’s even before I factored in the cookies I had for dessert. Back at it tomorrow!5
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Hi : - )
I joined this thread November 2018. I was a daily drinker at that point.
I am drinking less chiefly to lose weight.
My goals now are the same as they have been since January 2020, kind of my sweet spot.
16-20 AF days per month
NO drinking 2 days in a row
Keep 2 AF days in between drinks days.
3 is my max or I throw up.
Here goes my diary style:
Friday April 2nd - AF - tomorrow will be too so as to get my 2AF in a row.
Saturday April 3rd - AF - just trying to stay consistent with my goals.
Sunday April 4th - Drinks. April showers bring May flowers and all of that. The trails were just...wet. I worked out indoors, got a bunch of little stuff done around the house, then had a few drinks several hours ago followed by water.
Monday April 5th - AF - easy one to do, busy early workday tomorrow.
Tuesday April 6th - AF - I got hired for 2 jobs today that I had previously interviewed for. I turned down the one, and I start training on the one that I did pick tomorrow, so AF tonight for sure. It will be a fun job at an East Indian restaurant where I will become a server once the lockdown is lifted. I will learn the ropes and take phone calls for take-out and things like that until then. Less than half of the money of the other job prospects that I had a few weeks ago, but I think that it will be great and it will supplement my other jobs well financially. Good thing that it will be an active job because I love Indian food a little too much : - )
Wednesday April 7th - AF - Really really wanted to have a few drinks, but I have a video interview in the morning, a busy day with one of my jobs, and then possibly another training shift at the restaurant in the evening. Planned drinks for tomorrow night.
Thursday April 8th - 2 drinks, didn't even attempt 3. Nice warm feeling, it was a few hours ago. I will be AF for at least 2 now to follow.
Friday April 9th - AF - I find that I always want drinks the day after having drinks. I don't want to do that though.
Saturday April 10 - AF - I have another training shift tomorrow, plus I wanted my 2AF days in a row.
Sunday April 11 - AF -
Monday April 12 - AF - Not sure where my Sunday post went. I was on day 3 of 6 in a row training shifts tonight - I am not having drinks out of my desire to be sharp and absorb what I am learning. Planned drinks for Thursday night or Friday.
Tuesday April 13 - AF - Very long day at a few different jobs. A couple of drinks would have been nice, but I am too busy right now to risk potentially not being at my best.
Wednesday April 14 - AF - Ditto to yesterday, and tomorrow will be the same.
Rolling total: 11 AF days out of 14 days4 -
Hello @dethstar77 and congrats on your solid progress! I like what you wrote about "talk to your friends who you hangout with and they will understand" statement.
So, from my readings I see that progress and success has A TON to do with environment and that totally means the people around us. Some of them habitually have been used to drinking around us or promoting it and us, being humans then tend to follow the crowd. Not only can they enable our drinking, they promote it to unhealthy levels.
Getting others around us onboard with helping us realize our goals and helping to create a healthier environment around us is super helpful.
We can help guide others towards how they behave around us (I flat out got my husband to agree to not bring wine in the house or store liquors in the house). I asked him not to tempt me.He knows if he sees me put a large bottle of wine into the shopping cart to firmly ask me if that is a good idea...and remind me of how bad I felt the last hangover event. I asked him to help me be successful, look out for me please. He's become my supporter, my encourager....and stopped being the enabler he used to be.
Teaching others around us about how we want them to behave towards us and respect and encourage our goals is possible.
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Happy 25th anniversary @lmlmrn!!! That is outstanding....and fresh crab is super delicious....it's so good it's better than wine!
@Lilylady3k it's great to finally be able to have a large celebration, especially after such a long wait too....!
@dawnbgethealthy you are going to be rich with all those jobs, at least you'll have plenty to spend in Italy after Europe catches up with their vaccinations. And I see you have a nice AF streak going
@chocolate_owl I prayed for you last night, hope you are feeling better
AF yesterday and that's the game plan for today.....
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globalhiker wrote: »Hello @dethstar77 and congrats on your solid progress! I like what you wrote about "talk to your friends who you hangout with and they will understand" statement.
So, from my readings I see that progress and success has A TON to do with environment and that totally means the people around us. Some of them habitually have been used to drinking around us or promoting it and us, being humans then tend to follow the crowd. Not only can they enable our drinking, they promote it to unhealthy levels.
Getting others around us onboard with helping us realize our goals and helping to create a healthier environment around us is super helpful.
We can help guide others towards how they behave around us (I flat out got my husband to agree to not bring wine in the house or store liquors in the house). I asked him not to tempt me.He knows if he sees me put a large bottle of wine into the shopping cart to firmly ask me if that is a good idea...and remind me of how bad I felt the last hangover event. I asked him to help me be successful, look out for me please. He's become my supporter, my encourager....and stopped being the enabler he used to be.
Teaching others around us about how we want them to behave towards us and respect and encourage our goals is possible.
@globalhiker You are absolutely correct. If your friendship is strong, then they will truly support you. But in some cases you will have to cut out some people or cut back on the interactions. I still hangout a lot with my best friend and I usually still have a glass with me but its either water or diet coke. He and his wife understand and support my decision and no longer ask if I want a drink. He has a few michelob ultras in his fridge if I feel like having one, but wont ask if I want one. I have got back to the mentality that I know I can have fun even without drinking...6 -
@chocolate_owl hoping all is well for you today, I look forward to you checking in. Prayers sent, you are on my mind
April 1-4, 3 AF day 1 A, 3 whiskey and water
April 5-11 AF, 7 days out of 7 AF
April 12-18
April 12 AF
April 13 AF ---whoot whoot 25th wedding anniversary
April 14 AF
April 15----
April 16---
April 17--
April 18--
April 19-25
April 26-30
rolling 14 out of 15 days AF for April
This weekend we are planing an out of town trip. This is going to be a challenge since when we do this our 'treat' has always been when we stay at the hotel we enjoy a few drinks that evening in our room. I am not sure where my head is at with this for this weekend. Do I break my AF streak ....I just don't know....
The funny part is I made the reservations at the hotel. They have an indoor pool that I asked if we were able to use. She told us we had to reserve a time???? Well the front desk girl reserved us a time and we will have the pool and hot tub to ourselves for an HOUR! I so cant wait.
back later
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@lmlmrn
Happy Anniversary!!3 -
@chocolate_owl
Hoping to see you check in with us soon.4 -
Hi : - )
I joined this thread November 2018. I was a daily drinker at that point.
I am drinking less chiefly to lose weight.
My goals now are the same as they have been since January 2020, kind of my sweet spot.
16-20 AF days per month
NO drinking 2 days in a row
Keep 2 AF days in between drinks days.
3 is my max or I throw up.
Here goes my diary style:
Friday April 2nd - AF - tomorrow will be too so as to get my 2AF in a row.
Saturday April 3rd - AF - just trying to stay consistent with my goals.
Sunday April 4th - Drinks. April showers bring May flowers and all of that. The trails were just...wet. I worked out indoors, got a bunch of little stuff done around the house, then had a few drinks several hours ago followed by water.
Monday April 5th - AF - easy one to do, busy early workday tomorrow.
Tuesday April 6th - AF - I got hired for 2 jobs today that I had previously interviewed for. I turned down the one, and I start training on the one that I did pick tomorrow, so AF tonight for sure. It will be a fun job at an East Indian restaurant where I will become a server once the lockdown is lifted. I will learn the ropes and take phone calls for take-out and things like that until then. Less than half of the money of the other job prospects that I had a few weeks ago, but I think that it will be great and it will supplement my other jobs well financially. Good thing that it will be an active job because I love Indian food a little too much : - )
Wednesday April 7th - AF - Really really wanted to have a few drinks, but I have a video interview in the morning, a busy day with one of my jobs, and then possibly another training shift at the restaurant in the evening. Planned drinks for tomorrow night.
Thursday April 8th - 2 drinks, didn't even attempt 3. Nice warm feeling, it was a few hours ago. I will be AF for at least 2 now to follow.
Friday April 9th - AF - I find that I always want drinks the day after having drinks. I don't want to do that though.
Saturday April 10 - AF - I have another training shift tomorrow, plus I wanted my 2AF days in a row.
Sunday April 11 - AF -
Monday April 12 - AF - Not sure where my Sunday post went. I was on day 3 of 6 in a row training shifts tonight - I am not having drinks out of my desire to be sharp and absorb what I am learning. Planned drinks for Thursday night or Friday.
Tuesday April 13 - AF - Very long day at a few different jobs. A couple of drinks would have been nice, but I am too busy right now to risk potentially not being at my best.
Wednesday April 14 - AF - Ditto to yesterday, and tomorrow will be the same work schedule.
Thursday April 15th - 2 drinks, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Another very long day working for several different companies plus the restaurant. I only have one 4-5 hour job booked for tomorrow (Foster Grant) and then...a pedicure : - ) Saturday off, where I hope to get started on my potato garden which usually takes me about 3 full 8 hour days to get turned over shovel by shovel and then planted. I think that I might break my own rule for myself and have a couple of drinks tomorrow after my pedicure. I start working alone at the restaurant starting day shift Sunday - Thursday (I will have to do my other jobs before and after), so no drinks Saturday night until Thursday of next week. Wow, 6 AF days in a row, a new record for me.
Rolling total: 11 AF days out of 15 days7 -
Happy Friday Gang-
Belated anniversary wishes @lmlmrn. Yes, we also enjoy having the reserved pool and hot tub at the hotels with the new rules enforced. Have fun. I always have the that thought in my head to when I go stay somewhere away from my house for an evening or more. The thought I can let my hair down and kick back. I know I have to keep it in check, because if I am not driving I tend to want to have a few more than planned. The problem was trying to drive home the following day with a hangover. NOT FUN.
So far doing so much better than last April which went off the rails early the first day of the month.
Thankful for the chance to be accountable to myself and with others.
😊
5 -
Happy Friday! Yesterday I booked an extended weekend getaway in the White Mountains a few hours north from us, for month end. We wanted to get a trip in before the summer masses flock there and before fire season kicks into high gear. Funny thing is, we ALWAYS drank up in the mountains. Maybe something with the higher altitude plus being in "vacation" mode and just being in state of happiness.
Yikes I am going to a DRINKING ENVIRONMENT
We will hike in 8000-11000 altitude if the snow is not too bad so I know I will feel like hell and really struggle if I drink anything. I dehydrate fast especially with our zero humidity weather also so I have to really intentionally prep for this, eating frequent carbs and keeping electrolytes up. I want to feel good and strong.
We agreed to bring up AF beer, fizzy water and juice and snacks to the rental, but no alcohol.
I will not bring wine or any other alcohol into the cabin. There, I declared the plan to the world. This will be our first time doing this EVER as a couple.
We will allow ourselves 1-2 drinks during the day at a restaurant where we know we have no issue with that limit, especially when consumed with a meal.
AF yesterday and game plan is AF today......:)6 -
Happy Anniversary @lmlmrn. Sounds like a fun getaway @globalhiker. I had 2 AF days, Wednesday and Thursday. These are the first AF days I have had since the pandemic began. Reading this thread inspired me to give it a try. I slept fine the first night but poorly last night. I think that was more because my dog's tummy was rumbling and I was on guard in case I had to jump out of bed to take him for an emergency potty. It was good knowing that I was totally sober in case though.6
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Thank you all for the happy anniversary wishes. We had been planning a trip to France and Spain for the milestone and ...well...you know, life.
April 1-4, 3 AF day 1 A, 3 whiskey and water
April 5-11 AF, 7 days out of 7 AF
April 12-18
April 12 AF
April 13 AF - 25th wedding anniversary
April 14 AF
April 15 AF
April 16---
April 17--Weekend get away
April 18--
April 19-25
April 26-30
rolling 14 out of 15 days AF for April
I had to double check the pass to make sure there were no restrictions so we can travel tomorrow....so glad it is open. So many of the passes are still closed and will remain that way until about mid May, 1st of June sometime.
@globalhiker We plan to do some hiking too this weekend. I think you idea of no alcohol carried in is a good one. I talked to DH about what I needed to do this weekend but did not want to infringe on his time too. We have agreed to take some alcohol with us. He will have a drink or two and I may or may not but it will be there if I decide I want it, if not I am bringing my diet tonic water and bitters.6 -
Hi : - )
I joined this thread November 2018. I was a daily drinker at that point.
I am drinking less chiefly to lose weight.
My goals now are the same as they have been since January 2020, kind of my sweet spot.
16-20 AF days per month
NO drinking 2 days in a row
Keep 2 AF days in between drinks days.
3 is my max or I throw up.
Here goes my diary style:
Friday April 2nd - AF - tomorrow will be too so as to get my 2AF in a row.
Saturday April 3rd - AF - just trying to stay consistent with my goals.
Sunday April 4th - Drinks. April showers bring May flowers and all of that. The trails were just...wet. I worked out indoors, got a bunch of little stuff done around the house, then had a few drinks several hours ago followed by water.
Monday April 5th - AF - easy one to do, busy early workday tomorrow.
Tuesday April 6th - AF - I got hired for 2 jobs today that I had previously interviewed for. I turned down the one, and I start training on the one that I did pick tomorrow, so AF tonight for sure. It will be a fun job at an East Indian restaurant where I will become a server once the lockdown is lifted. I will learn the ropes and take phone calls for take-out and things like that until then. Less than half of the money of the other job prospects that I had a few weeks ago, but I think that it will be great and it will supplement my other jobs well financially. Good thing that it will be an active job because I love Indian food a little too much : - )
Wednesday April 7th - AF - Really really wanted to have a few drinks, but I have a video interview in the morning, a busy day with one of my jobs, and then possibly another training shift at the restaurant in the evening. Planned drinks for tomorrow night.
Thursday April 8th - 2 drinks, didn't even attempt 3. Nice warm feeling, it was a few hours ago. I will be AF for at least 2 now to follow.
Friday April 9th - AF - I find that I always want drinks the day after having drinks. I don't want to do that though.
Saturday April 10 - AF - I have another training shift tomorrow, plus I wanted my 2AF days in a row.
Sunday April 11 - AF -
Monday April 12 - AF - Not sure where my Sunday post went. I was on day 3 of 6 in a row training shifts tonight - I am not having drinks out of my desire to be sharp and absorb what I am learning. Planned drinks for Thursday night or Friday.
Tuesday April 13 - AF - Very long day at a few different jobs. A couple of drinks would have been nice, but I am too busy right now to risk potentially not being at my best.
Wednesday April 14 - AF - Ditto to yesterday, and tomorrow will be the same work schedule.
Thursday April 15th - 2 drinks, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Another very long day working for several different companies plus the restaurant. I only have one 4-5 hour job booked for tomorrow (Foster Grant) and then...a pedicure : - ) Saturday off, where I hope to get started on my potato garden which usually takes me about 3 full 8 hour days to get turned over shovel by shovel and then planted. I think that I might break my own rule for myself and have a couple of drinks tomorrow after my pedicure. I start working alone at the restaurant starting day shift Sunday - Thursday (I will have to do my other jobs before and after), so no drinks Saturday night until Thursday of next week. Wow, 6 AF days in a row, a new record for me.
Friday April 16th - Drinks. I finished work at 12:30 today and have tomorrow off. Beautiful weather here, 21C (googling) 70F. I played in my yard for 3 1/2 hours then went for my wonderful pedicure. I had the bottom of a bottle of Strawberry Margarita in the fridge for about 4 years, I put a fancy glass in the freezer and when I came back from my pedicure poured it and went into the sun. About 1/2 of a drink, delicious. Scheduled cheat day, Ribs, which I only have once per month now, and a couple of more drinks in the offing. It has been a hectic week, and I felt so wonderful today going into my first full day off in 2 weeks tomorrow. I work Sunday morning at the restaurant. Good night to have drinks for me. No regrets. Feeling relaxed and happy.
Rolling total: 11 AF days out of 16 days4 -
@dawnbgethealthy You enjoy tonight!! what a wonderful afternoon and evening you are having
Still considering a drink or two tomorrow evening at the hotel.4 -
Oh man, I am way off my drinking plan this week. I’ve had a drink every day since Tuesday, and yesterday had two at lunch! Between the carb cravings (gnocchi Bolognase yesterday) and alcohol cravings, being completely bloated.... I’m PMSing so badly. However, this is the first month where my period is starting to skip around- menopause is starting to kick in! Last time I was this late with my period, I was pregnant with my children! So it feels like it’s finally on its way.... and then nothing. This change of life is difficult to navigate after all this time being completely regular. I don’t like the uncertainty of being caught off guard if my period decides to make an appearance. Meanwhile my discipline is out the window.
Sorry for the TMI!!!! Especially to the gentleman on this thread!8 -
Mother nature has given us a late April's fools yesterday and today. After setting up the yard last weekend for nice weather, screens back on windows, deck furniture out, Summer jeep out of storage.......it is cold and snow flurries outside.
It could have turned into a disaster, I was just plain bummed looking at my daffodils getting covered in snow( plus I had just returned from having my snow tires taken off and all season tires back on the car). Had to redirect my feelings.
Took myself out of my house environment where there was potential to create mimosas and sink into a bit of a depression. Instead I went to my paint room in my garage and created funky art instead. Several hours passed and so did the bad attitude about the weather. Even went out to a pizza/pub later last night and remained AF.
APRIL 16TH-
3 - A
13 - AF
8 -
@Lilylady3k and @lmlmrn enjoy your special events this weekend. Will want to hear all about it when it is over.
5 -
@Womona I feel for you with dealing with the change of life. It can be rocky and the unpredictable as to: am I finished, how long does this last? Because everyone is different. No rules, as my gyno told me. I even had my blood tested to see how far along I was in getting through the menopause stage. I am a need to know person. And no solid answered drove me nuts.
Lots of hugs your way today.4 -
WAY TO GO @dawnbgethealthy on tomorrow being your first day at your new job. Gotta tell you I was wicked jealous to hear you in Canada had 70° yesterday and were playing in your gardens. I can't even edge mine yet because the ground is still too soggy.
Enjoy!5 -
Dinner with our two immediate families parents & siblings ... total 14... at Brennan’s in Houston. Lovey dinner and the wine was flowing. Calling it 3 glasses. Server was pouring but stopped him continuing to fill my glass. Water at my side also got refilled.
My crab cakes were delicious. Never had them cooked this way. No coating or frying. Basically served hot lump crabmeat with wonderful seasonings in cylinder stacks with a lemon sauce.
6 -
@dethstar77 great motivational list/tips. Glad to have you joining in, we need more males to add to our group.👍5
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