WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY 2021

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Replies

  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,708 Member
    B)
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,681 Member
    LisaInArkansas wrote: »
    Last year, the hydrangea never really bloomed - just a couple of pitiful, spindly things. This year, they're beautiful. Must be summer, the hydrangeas are in bloom...
    ba3tt62bznns.jpg

    We have one hydrangea but I'd really like to try to get more going this summer.


    M in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,681 Member
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    Don't know how many of you follow the Tour de France, but we like to spot our favourite bits of France! I also have a soft spot for Mark Cavendish, from the Isle of Man. <3 Today he won his 34th stage, equalling the record. He is 36 and most people thought his career was finished. He only got in the race on a cancellation.
    I cannot watch it live because it would kill me, so I wait for the result, watch the photos and then watch the highlights programme. Even though I knew the result, my heart was nearly jumping out of my chest! WOW! WOW! WOW! My elder son said he was screaming!
    Afterwards Mark said, "Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something!"

    https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/jul/09/mark-cavendish-equals-record-with-34th-stage-win-in-tour-de-france
    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    My husband and I have been watching the Tour this year as we always do. :) And yes, we watched this morning's highlights of the race. :)


    Machka in Oz
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,873 Member
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    Rebecca - Is your son happier in this position or does he want to go further?

    Vicki - does the HR department know how desperate your department is.

    Allie - I know how difficult that is as for you giving your son a deadline. I once had to be tough with our eldest, she was shocked, angry and hurt, but eventually came around and I think it made her grow up a lot.
    My Sis in law has been bailed out her whole life until her mid 40’s and now she doesn’t know how to do anything on her own. It’s terrible, she is 52 and still tries to depend on others but because she has been dependent for so long no one is willing to help her now.
    Does he live with anyone or alone?

    My Grands came today for 3 nights, they will leave Monday afternoon. Tomorrow night we will be going to stay at our other daughter’s and going to the lake in Sunday. It will help me occupy the kids and not have to be the entertainment all day for Michaela. Jonah is self entertaining these days.
    Today she played in the pool we bought for them. Then I took them both to the splash park. Michaela, fully in her own painted her little chair. Tomorrow morning she will do her design on it. I wish I could share a video, she was painting and thanking me for teaching her. She is the sweetest. We mixed paint I had leftover her and her chair only cost 3.00, it’s bringing her a lot of joy.

    tpbfc0058ulm.jpeg
    t41puxsu632w.jpeg

    Well he is happy as a follower, and not a leader. But the Navy likes you to always be moving forward. I don't think they would dismiss him this late in the game, but you never know. There are younger sailors that are 1st classes, so he has to prove to the Navy that he wants to stay in. He's been in for 14, almost 15 years. He needs to always pass his PTs, and not eat so much junk food! Lol! Husband and I are secretly here, making sure he makes his 20 years and retires! So we just keep an eye on him, and I make sure he eats a salad once a week. Husband has knocked on his door every now and then at 6:00Aam when he is late getting into the shower...🙃😋. Also he has the positivity of having a Chief as a father, keeping his eye on the prize. Retirement!
    Rebecca
    💖
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,977 Member
    Rebecca - only 6 to go! I hope he keeps listening to you and your Chief.
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,873 Member
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    Rebecca - only 6 to go! I hope he keeps listening to you and your Chief.

    Well the nice thing is husband was a career counselor, so he got son to stay in when he was going to get out at 10 year mark. Financially, it makes sense to retire and draw that Navy pay, while going to college for small engine repair. Also having a job too. It will be less a financial stress having that money coming in for certain. Retiring at 38 yrs old while still so young is great too!
    Rebecca💖
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,067 Member
    <3
  • auntiebk
    auntiebk Posts: 2,619 Member
    "Get to do"s and "chose well"s
    Chose well: BP, dogs to powerline, T’ai Chi, Post Office, Library, recycling.
    Bonus: typed hymns, chopped another tarpload of salal, 48 mins grooming Tumble.
    Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, dog group, filing, review June council minutes, county ARP project proposals 111.co.curry.or.us/ figure out how to see what’s using all our mobile data, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, fire district: drop off cookies, clarification of chief’s report, finish and email draft minutes/meeting announcement, ongoing: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Nothing but You, Do Your Thing, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Homesick; practice dances: One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat),); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
    Jump back July:
    9- Put a problem in perspective by seeing the bigger picture: much as my neck and knees ache, I’m still able to move and enjoy life.
    10-Reach out to someone you trust and share your feelings with them:

    Heather “if you do what you’ve always done…” well said, and applicable to so many situations. Thank you. :love: the view of your garden.
    Pip 8 mile walk? Sounds more like a hike to me … :laugh:
    Tracey would these do? http://www.childcostumes.com/boys-60s-accessory-kit.html
    Vicki what Debbie said. It’s scary to think how thin-stretched your department is. What will happen if you collapse? Will they close the department down and send patients to a different facility?
    Lisa lovely hydrangea!
    Julie wish I had a graceful exit line to share with you. Listening like that is a gift you gave him but you were too generous ;)
    Annie glad Kylia and the vet suggested warm compresses. Can your Dad hold Teddy for you while you apply? It may sting at first but will bring relief. Until you can get the antibiotic cream a little Vaseline after the compress will help keep the wound from further infection.
    Allie you didn’t put him in a bind, you set a boundary. Time for him to develop options.
    Rebecca glad your chief has the counseling experience your son needs ;)

    Lighter, lovelies!
    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    July: leaner/stronger/kinder than June.
    daily: sit with Joe: 8, weigh/wii: 9/0/0; steps>6701=4725 , vits=6.75, log=9, CI<CO=9, CI<250<CO=9, Tumble=6, Shadow=7, mfp=10, outside=11, up hill=9, clean 10=5.
    wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=. Wed:TC=1 PW=1. Thurs: Fri:TC=2. Sat:PW=1. rX x4=1.
    wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/4: 140.7 7/11:
    mnthly: board mtg=, grant=, 21 plan=, waist=42.0
    bonus: AF=6 play= sew=
    2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    auntiebk wrote: »
    "Get to do"s and "chose well"s
    Chose well: BP, dogs to powerline, T’ai Chi, Post Office, Library, recycling.
    Bonus: typed hymns, chopped another tarpload of salal, 48 mins grooming Tumble.
    Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, dog group, filing, review June council minutes, county ARP project proposals 111.co.curry.or.us/ figure out how to see what’s using all our mobile data, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, fire district: drop off cookies, clarification of chief’s report, finish and email draft minutes/meeting announcement, ongoing: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Nothing but You, Do Your Thing, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Homesick; practice dances: One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat),); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
    Jump back July:
    9- Put a problem in perspective by seeing the bigger picture: much as my neck and knees ache, I’m still able to move and enjoy life.
    10-Reach out to someone you trust and share your feelings with them:

    Heather “if you do what you’ve always done…” well said, and applicable to so many situations. Thank you. :love: the view of your garden.
    Pip 8 mile walk? Sounds more like a hike to me … :laugh:
    Tracey would these do? http://www.childcostumes.com/boys-60s-accessory-kit.html
    Vicki what Debbie said. It’s scary to think how thin-stretched your department is. What will happen if you collapse? Will they close the department down and send patients to a different facility?
    Lisa lovely hydrangea!
    Julie wish I had a graceful exit line to share with you. Listening like that is a gift you gave him but you were too generous ;)
    Annie glad Kylia and the vet suggested warm compresses. Can your Dad hold Teddy for you while you apply? It may sting at first but will bring relief. Until you can get the antibiotic cream a little Vaseline after the compress will help keep the wound from further infection.
    Allie you didn’t put him in a bind, you set a boundary. Time for him to develop options.
    Rebecca glad your chief has the counseling experience your son needs ;)

    Lighter, lovelies!
    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    July: leaner/stronger/kinder than June.
    daily: sit with Joe: 8, weigh/wii: 9/0/0; steps>6701=4725 , vits=6.75, log=9, CI<CO=9, CI<250<CO=9, Tumble=6, Shadow=7, mfp=10, outside=11, up hill=9, clean 10=5.
    wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=. Wed:TC=1 PW=1. Thurs: Fri:TC=2. Sat:PW=1. rX x4=1.
    wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/4: 140.7 7/11:
    mnthly: board mtg=, grant=, 21 plan=, waist=42.0
    bonus: AF=6 play= sew=
    2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW

    Barbara, I don't consider it generous to listen if the other person is droning on and on and on and my heart's not in it. it's not really a gift to "do time" and not really appreciate the other person: If he had had a notion of what I was thinking, feeling he wouldn't have wanted to be talking. I just thought he would eventually wind down. I would not have expected a call of more than an hour. I got the feeling he was bored and, at the moment, lonely. We were nice friends previously, long after going out, always happy to hear from one another, but we haven't spoken for 5 years or so and it really wasn't reciprocal at all.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    Plan Today: >>>

    15-25 min cardio at +115 HR (walk, swim or exercise bike)
    review and take notes on adviser's notes, (audio and written) prep for appointment
    listen to her message
    write to her (?)
    clean 15-60 minutes
    produce good/ok pages of writing to send
    read some key material
    go through at least 1 of late library books, and take notes

    fun: read paper and do sketch and take notes at café ; little moment in tiny public park, maybe lie down in grass: both of these are much nicer in early morning when there are not too many people.

    end of day: walk, meditate ? plan next day's work?

    maybe: get/order new glasses; for reading or progressives

    Have seen and spoken with friends a bit this week, so I feel ok about a more working weekend.

    need discipline!
    and energy!
    and inner motivation, to activate action for outer motivation.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    edited July 2021
    grateful: nice weather, cafés, friends : L, B, Y, O and others. park, home feels more cozy

    good things done yesterday: talk with old friend P yesterday, after so long not talking ; catching up with Y1 (though way too long!) ; wrote to advisor ; planned meet up for next week ; nice talk with B ; sent an app for something (unfortunately too late) ; able to get some info from Mac Time Machine ; tried to update it ; a little bit of walking ; a little bit of tidying ; good talk with O, kept succinct with L ; did best to be firm but friendly with Y2 when there was a collaborative working issue/confusion ; got old phone screen fixed so I can get some needed material recorded from it ; called about administrative help

    leisure yesterday: spoke (too long) with Y. it wasn't really leisure for me, but leisure time ; café ; watched an episode or 2 of transparent ; spoke a bit with B, more fun and 2-way (while waiting for phone to get fixed and just after!)

    when stressed: played online spades - not useful but mindless and less bad than overeating, taking hard drugs, etc.
    maybe I can find a more interestin/useful way to deal with when drawn to online spades; making little changes.

    to improve: some of the following: produce pages, more cardio, track, more home made veggies?

    <3<3<3
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,681 Member
    bananasandoranges wrote: »
    auntiebk wrote: »
    "Get to do"s and "chose well"s
    Chose well: BP, dogs to powerline, T’ai Chi, Post Office, Library, recycling.
    Bonus: typed hymns, chopped another tarpload of salal, 48 mins grooming Tumble.
    Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, dog group, filing, review June council minutes, county ARP project proposals 111.co.curry.or.us/ figure out how to see what’s using all our mobile data, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, fire district: drop off cookies, clarification of chief’s report, finish and email draft minutes/meeting announcement, ongoing: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Nothing but You, Do Your Thing, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Homesick; practice dances: One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat),); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
    Jump back July:
    9- Put a problem in perspective by seeing the bigger picture: much as my neck and knees ache, I’m still able to move and enjoy life.
    10-Reach out to someone you trust and share your feelings with them:

    Heather “if you do what you’ve always done…” well said, and applicable to so many situations. Thank you. :love: the view of your garden.
    Pip 8 mile walk? Sounds more like a hike to me … :laugh:
    Tracey would these do? http://www.childcostumes.com/boys-60s-accessory-kit.html
    Vicki what Debbie said. It’s scary to think how thin-stretched your department is. What will happen if you collapse? Will they close the department down and send patients to a different facility?
    Lisa lovely hydrangea!
    Julie wish I had a graceful exit line to share with you. Listening like that is a gift you gave him but you were too generous ;)
    Annie glad Kylia and the vet suggested warm compresses. Can your Dad hold Teddy for you while you apply? It may sting at first but will bring relief. Until you can get the antibiotic cream a little Vaseline after the compress will help keep the wound from further infection.
    Allie you didn’t put him in a bind, you set a boundary. Time for him to develop options.
    Rebecca glad your chief has the counseling experience your son needs ;)

    Lighter, lovelies!
    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    July: leaner/stronger/kinder than June.
    daily: sit with Joe: 8, weigh/wii: 9/0/0; steps>6701=4725 , vits=6.75, log=9, CI<CO=9, CI<250<CO=9, Tumble=6, Shadow=7, mfp=10, outside=11, up hill=9, clean 10=5.
    wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=. Wed:TC=1 PW=1. Thurs: Fri:TC=2. Sat:PW=1. rX x4=1.
    wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/4: 140.7 7/11:
    mnthly: board mtg=, grant=, 21 plan=, waist=42.0
    bonus: AF=6 play= sew=
    2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW

    Barbara, I don't consider it generous to listen if the other person is droning on and on and on and my heart's not in it. it's not really a gift to "do time" and not really appreciate the other person: If he had had a notion of what I was thinking, feeling he wouldn't have wanted to be talking. I just thought he would eventually wind down. I would not have expected a call of more than an hour. I got the feeling he was bored and, at the moment, lonely. We were nice friends previously, long after going out, always happy to hear from one another, but we haven't spoken for 5 years or so and it really wasn't reciprocal at all.

    Whether you got anything out of it or not, it might have been a "gift" for the other person ... just what that person needed.

    There's a woman at work who gets into long conversations with people ... sometimes too long. But I remember that she lives alone so much of the time, her encounters with people are at work and she might need that bit of social contact.

    Similar with my husband. A feature of his brain injury is to talk much more than he used to and often more than necessary. Sometimes I just want to get on with something but he's often alone and seems to need to talk.

    M in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,681 Member
    itg7mm284c54.png
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,681 Member
    edited July 2021
    Jump Back Up July
    This month's theme is all about resilience and understanding how we can build skills that will help us to bounce back. We can't always predict or control what life throws at us, but we can build a range of skills and nurture our resources to help us respond flexibly, effectively deal with challenges, recover more quickly and even learn and grow as a result.
    https://www.actionforhappiness.org/jump-back-up-july

    Calendar:
    vcb24bd4r1ec.png


    Saturday 10 July:
    6j5hs5vna1w3.png



    M in Oz
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,135 Member
    Morning all. Still on page 10 😂 I have been doing an oneline course on tinyhabits.com this week, which took up quite a lot of time for research, so I'm so far behind this week that I will just have to start where I am, and over the next day or week I will endeavour to get caught up with everyone, and skim over what I've missed, and hope I haven't missed anything earth-shattering.

    DGD is is home from Oxford for a week so it's been quite busy. My grandson had his 18th birthday on Wednesday and the family are celebrating this Sunday (that's tomorrow) so we have been deep in preparations.

    DH and I have also enjoyed several outings. One of them was a family visit to Glenarm Castle on the north coast of Antrim, which has a stunning walled garden. We all took lateral flow tests before hand which were negative 😊 The other was with our gardening group to Mount Stewart, a stately home in Strangford Peninsula, which has formal gardens, a lake and extensive parkland.

    The weather was perfect for both of these outing and looks set to be very nice today as well, which is good, as we off shortly to support our DYD in her second Parkrun, then going down to our we boat for a couple of hours.

    Our garden is taking a lot of work as the ground is unusually dry and we have been trying to make sure everything survives by frequent watering.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,681 Member
    "Everyone should aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity on most, preferably all, days of the week. Moderate-intensity physical activity is an activity that is energetic and raises your heart rate, but doesn't make you too breathless, such as fast walking.

    Some physical activity is better than none, and more is better than a little. But you don’t have to exercise to the point of being in pain to get a health benefit.

    If you don’t do any physical activity at all, start by just doing some. You can build up gradually."

    How to start exercising
    https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/tips-for-getting-active


    M in Oz
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    bananasandoranges wrote: »
    auntiebk wrote: »
    "Get to do"s and "chose well"s
    Chose well: BP, dogs to powerline, T’ai Chi, Post Office, Library, recycling.
    Bonus: typed hymns, chopped another tarpload of salal, 48 mins grooming Tumble.
    Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, dog group, filing, review June council minutes, county ARP project proposals 111.co.curry.or.us/ figure out how to see what’s using all our mobile data, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, fire district: drop off cookies, clarification of chief’s report, finish and email draft minutes/meeting announcement, ongoing: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Nothing but You, Do Your Thing, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Homesick; practice dances: One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat),); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
    Jump back July:
    9- Put a problem in perspective by seeing the bigger picture: much as my neck and knees ache, I’m still able to move and enjoy life.
    10-Reach out to someone you trust and share your feelings with them:

    Heather “if you do what you’ve always done…” well said, and applicable to so many situations. Thank you. :love: the view of your garden.
    Pip 8 mile walk? Sounds more like a hike to me … :laugh:
    Tracey would these do? http://www.childcostumes.com/boys-60s-accessory-kit.html
    Vicki what Debbie said. It’s scary to think how thin-stretched your department is. What will happen if you collapse? Will they close the department down and send patients to a different facility?
    Lisa lovely hydrangea!
    Julie wish I had a graceful exit line to share with you. Listening like that is a gift you gave him but you were too generous ;)
    Annie glad Kylia and the vet suggested warm compresses. Can your Dad hold Teddy for you while you apply? It may sting at first but will bring relief. Until you can get the antibiotic cream a little Vaseline after the compress will help keep the wound from further infection.
    Allie you didn’t put him in a bind, you set a boundary. Time for him to develop options.
    Rebecca glad your chief has the counseling experience your son needs ;)

    Lighter, lovelies!
    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    July: leaner/stronger/kinder than June.
    daily: sit with Joe: 8, weigh/wii: 9/0/0; steps>6701=4725 , vits=6.75, log=9, CI<CO=9, CI<250<CO=9, Tumble=6, Shadow=7, mfp=10, outside=11, up hill=9, clean 10=5.
    wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=. Wed:TC=1 PW=1. Thurs: Fri:TC=2. Sat:PW=1. rX x4=1.
    wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/4: 140.7 7/11:
    mnthly: board mtg=, grant=, 21 plan=, waist=42.0
    bonus: AF=6 play= sew=
    2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW

    Barbara, I don't consider it generous to listen if the other person is droning on and on and on and my heart's not in it. it's not really a gift to "do time" and not really appreciate the other person: If he had had a notion of what I was thinking, feeling he wouldn't have wanted to be talking. I just thought he would eventually wind down. I would not have expected a call of more than an hour. I got the feeling he was bored and, at the moment, lonely. We were nice friends previously, long after going out, always happy to hear from one another, but we haven't spoken for 5 years or so and it really wasn't reciprocal at all.

    Whether you got anything out of it or not, it might have been a "gift" for the other person ... just what that person needed.

    There's a woman at work who gets into long conversations with people ... sometimes too long. But I remember that she lives alone so much of the time, her encounters with people are at work and she might need that bit of social contact.

    Similar with my husband. A feature of his brain injury is to talk much more than he used to and often more than necessary. Sometimes I just want to get on with something but he's often alone and seems to need to talk.

    M in Oz

    Good point
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,724 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Jump Back Up July
    This month's theme is all about resilience and understanding how we can build skills that will help us to bounce back. We can't always predict or control what life throws at us, but we can build a range of skills and nurture our resources to help us respond flexibly, effectively deal with challenges, recover more quickly and even learn and grow as a result.
    https://www.actionforhappiness.org/jump-back-up-july

    Calendar:
    vcb24bd4r1ec.png


    Saturday 10 July:
    6j5hs5vna1w3.png



    M in Oz

    I did this yesterday with all of you lovely ladies and you really did help! I am working on my reactions and some suggestions for change.

    Penny WOW! I love it! What a beautiful area to call home.
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,137 Member
    Morning ladies
    Snowflake- it has been a long time coming and should have done it 20 + yrs ago,and like your sister im worried it will be the same for him,he will try and depend on other people ,he is already being a hermit,im just worried he will.start having dark thoughts..I love him dearly but cant hold his hand the rest of his life,i have to be able to live my own..
    Keep him and I in your prayers please,going to need all tbe help i can get.
    My dad was the same way.. he lived alone,even though Dan lived with him,Dan just kept to himself and didnt really have big conversations with him..
    My dad was lonely and everyone else was always needed to go here or there and just didnt want to sit there and listen ,always saying get to the point dad( my brother Sean)
    or get to the point Don,everyone else...i even put that on his urn lol.
    But like is said you never know how much time you have
    So everytime I went to see him id get a big hug and a kiss and i would sit down and let him talk...never regretted my decision.
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,724 Member
    Allie- My tough love story has to do with my youngest daughter. She was blowing her money on new clothes and accessories and not saving for her rent. I helped her out once (she was working, had 1 child, having marital issues). I told her that she was a married mother and needed to keep the roof over her head. I would make sure neither she nor GD were cold or hungry, but that I shouldn't have to pay for a roof over their heads so she could have new things. The consequence was that she and GD could be at our house during the day, but after GD went to bed, DD would have to leave until morning. I didn't care where she slept and GD was protected. Well......she got evicted...surprise(not). My sis in law was pissed at me for following through. DD was there early in the morning, cleaned up, stayed with baby, occasionally fixed us dinner, put baby to bed, then left for night. She crashed on many a friends' couches for about 6 weeks. Apparently, she and her DH started talking during that time and decided to work things out. He applied for shore duty to work on his marriage (he was Navy and out to sea). The positives were that they have been married almost 19 yrs and they really did get their act together for awhile. The negative was they moved my DGG to FL :'( I have helped them out since then, but they always know they have to keep the roof over their heads first and foremost. It is hard to be a parent especially to adult children, but you are a STRONG woman and we are PROUD of you! HUGS as you make these tough decisions for Dan's benefit (even though he won't see it that way for awhile)

    <3
    Kylia in chilly Ohio
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,724 Member
    Julie I have been on those phone calls! Heck, I have probably (most likely) been the speaker on those occasionally. The wonder of speaker phones allows you to dust, fold laundry, or do craft while (speaking/listening). I do agree with Machka that maybe he is just lonely. You made a difference in his day I am sure!

    Annie I hope Teddie is feeling a little better today.

    Snowflake What a wonderful plan for the weekend! GD looks so happy with her chair. Have fun!

    Better get my day going....work, dinner with friends, then off to Kentucky. I guess my husband doesn't care if the house is dusty or not (not that he can see that!) Reckon that is low on the list.

    Love!
    Blessings!
    Hugs!
    Prayers!


  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,137 Member
    Kylia- yes he lives alone and has a little 2 room place,a kitchen and bedroom (yes there is a bathroom)
    Im sure my brother and SIL will have something to say with what im doing,maybe even his dad.. but he also has mental health issues like his dad and paternal grandmother.
    Im only doing what I know i should have done many years ago and im hoping it all works out.. if he quits his job becuase he cant get there then he will have to figure out how to survive and either get another job or get social services involved to do his day to day living
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    kymarai wrote: »
    Julie I have been on those phone calls! Heck, I have probably (most likely) been the speaker on those occasionally. The wonder of speaker phones allows you to dust, fold laundry, or do craft while (speaking/listening). I do agree with Machka that maybe he is just lonely. You made a difference in his day I am sure!

    Annie I hope Teddie is feeling a little better today.

    Snowflake What a wonderful plan for the weekend! GD looks so happy with her chair. Have fun!

    Better get my day going....work, dinner with friends, then off to Kentucky. I guess my husband doesn't care if the house is dusty or not (not that he can see that!) Reckon that is low on the list.

    Love!
    Blessings!
    Hugs!
    Prayers!


    I did put on the speaker phone quite a bit. it was quite late in the day (like 7pm) and I didn't think to do housework during the call. That would have been a good idea.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,681 Member
    bananasandoranges wrote: »
    kymarai wrote: »
    Julie I have been on those phone calls! Heck, I have probably (most likely) been the speaker on those occasionally. The wonder of speaker phones allows you to dust, fold laundry, or do craft while (speaking/listening). I do agree with Machka that maybe he is just lonely. You made a difference in his day I am sure!

    Annie I hope Teddie is feeling a little better today.

    Snowflake What a wonderful plan for the weekend! GD looks so happy with her chair. Have fun!

    Better get my day going....work, dinner with friends, then off to Kentucky. I guess my husband doesn't care if the house is dusty or not (not that he can see that!) Reckon that is low on the list.

    Love!
    Blessings!
    Hugs!
    Prayers!


    I did put on the speaker phone quite a bit. it was quite late in the day (like 7pm) and I didn't think to do housework during the call. That would have been a good idea.

    It's like the evening Zoom meetings I have with my cycling club ... I turn on the video for the first 5 min or so to wave at everyone, then turn it off, and listen while I file emails, do my nails, sort things, organise what I'm taking to work the next day, etc.

    M in Oz
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    edited July 2021
    Allie ~ I think you are doing the right thing regarding your son. I do hope you will continue to urge him to get help through counseling. If he cannot afford to pay for such help there might be a church that offers help through their ministry.

    Kylia ~ I know that you are having many problems with getting the help you need to run the business that belongs to your husband and SnL. However, you do not mention what your husband does at work. Does he help? Can he do some of the tasks that are taking up so much time?

    Got the clear lens removed from my eye yesterday and was told that it is healing well. Looking forward to getting the other eye done in August and worrying about what kind of lenses to have inserted when I finally get cataract surgery.

    Son and family will return from their vacation at the beach today and take those two large dogs home. Thank the Good Lord.

    Carol in GA

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