My Doctor Suggested Weight Loss Surgery

coblujay

Yes, I'm about a hundred pounds over what the charts say I should weigh and COVID definitely added about ten more pounds. His suggestion was a strong reminder that I need to prioritize my health. Everyone has to make the best decision they can for themselves and for me, surgery is not a direction I'm willing to take.

Could this be the comment that finally helps me over the hump? Six years ago, I joined a weight loss program in my area that included dietitians, trainers and group meetings. The support was incredible and I lost over forty pounds, still leaving me over 200 pounds. I felt great and gained the confidence to try new things like kayaking and wall climbing.

Four years ago, I had gained about 25 pounds back but was working with a fabulous personal trainer. I felt strong and had amazing endurance. I took one of my dream trips of trekking to see the gorillas in Uganda and Rwanda. Don't get me wrong, I was the slowest in my group of really fit people and needed to stop more often that they did, but I recovered quickly and was able to complete the 5-6 hour hike and enjoy my time with the gorillas. It was an incredible experience.

Since then, without the goal of a big trip, I've fallen off the proverbial wagon. The interesting thing is, I've belonged to fitness pal for almost ten years and I weigh today almost the same as what I weighed when I joined way back then.

I recently started back on the program that I was in six years ago, but on my own, with a few of the people who were on that journey with me. We do weekly Zoom calls, track our calories and work to add exercise back into the schedule. Since the beginning of June, I've lost 13 pounds. That's definite progress.

Still, I'm afraid....

Despite all the diets, I haven't been able to keep the weight off or get under 200 pounds
Can I really do this after so many failures
What will I look like with all that extra hanging skin
Do I have the level of commitment and focus to stay strong
Can I make it the lifestyle everyone talks about so it becomes the norm

And excited....

I bought a size 16 jeans six or seven years ago that I've been able to put on once. I want to be able to comfortably wear them out or even donate them when they are too big for me!!
I want to continue to travel to the wild places for many years to come and to take advantage of every opportunity to hike and bike
I want to wear all the clothes in my closet that have been there for probably twenty years because I loved them and have been saving them for the day when I could fit into them again.
I want to feel great, confident and comfortable in my own skin
I want to go into the cute clothing boutiques and actually buy something off the rack

So, here we go! Maybe this is the time...the time I take back my health. I can't wait to see my doctor's face a year from now when I go in for my annual physical. Weight loss surgery? Not an option for me. Taking charge of my health...that's on me and I'm in!!

MikePfirrman

Good luck on your journey. You sound like a "serial starter" to me. No offense. But something in you, whether it's mental or self-sabotage, seems to get in your way when you succeed. You have succeeded before, to a certain extent. I hope you finally get over the hump this time.

There are many, many on here that have (and lost a lot of weight -- I lost 90 lbs and have added back 20 in muscle over 10 years). I'd encourage you to friend them, not the other serial starters that constantly fall on and off the app/site. Become friends with those that religiously track, every single day, and are brutally honest with themselves. Avoid people that put crap down like, "I had a cheat day, at a dozen cookies and a pint of ice cream". "Oh, was it good!". Oh well, tomorrow is another day... Friend people that take their weight loss serious and stick to it. I think that might make you more prone to stick with it.

This is going to sound mean, but there's circles of folks on this site that relish commiserating with other miserable, failed people at weight loss and love to take others down with them. They will sabotage you.

Perhaps Noom along with this for the mental aspect of weight loss, which is severely underestimated.

wunderkindking

I agree with not friending other people who share your problems - at least not exclusively - and that includes overdoing and brushing it off.

But man, also don't go all or nothing about it. That is part of why people quit and fail.

That includes 'ate a pint of ice cream, throwing the whole week in the trash, may as well enjoy myself now!' and it's faternal twin "I'm being healthier now, no more cookies/eating out/food I really like a lot for me!" YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GO OVER ON CALORIES SOMETIMES. IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL UNTIL IT BECOMES A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR.

Skyler103

Your post sounds like you're excited about starting your journey! It always starts like that. I wish we could all take that enthusiasm we start with and bottle it up. Then when it wears off, we could open it and take a drink! Unfortunately as you know, it becomes monotonous and sometimes even unsustainable if we deprive ourselves too much.

I'm also back here after several loss and gain cycles. It sucks. I have so many cute clothes in my closet that are useless right now. I'm trying a new strategy for weigh loss that is much talked about on these forums. I've set a lower weekly weight loss goal so that I can eat more food than I have in the past. Yes, it's slower, but it's more sustainable for me. I can have dessert every night. Not ALL the dessert, but some.

I'm not saying all this to blunt your enthusiasm at all. I'm just suggesting that maybe you'd be interested to try a different way as well. I wouldn't have thought to try to lose weight this way if so many people here hadn't had results that are long lasting. I'm hoping that I can lose it all for the final time and keep it off finally!

Good luck to you!

socajam

Skyler103 wrote: »

Your post sounds like you're excited about starting your journey! It always starts like that. I wish we could all take that enthusiasm we start with and bottle it up. Then when it wears off, we could open it and take a drink! Unfortunately as you know, it becomes monotonous and sometimes even unsustainable if we deprive ourselves too much.

I'm also back here after several loss and gain cycles. It sucks. I have so many cute clothes in my closet that are useless right now. I'm trying a new strategy for weigh loss that is much talked about on these forums. I've set a lower weekly weight loss goal so that I can eat more food than I have in the past. Yes, it's slower, but it's more sustainable for me. I can have dessert every night. Not ALL the dessert, but some.

I'm not saying all this to blunt your enthusiasm at all. I'm just suggesting that maybe you'd be interested to try a different way as well. I wouldn't have thought to try to lose weight this way if so many people here hadn't had results that are long lasting. I'm hoping that I can lose it all for the final time and keep it off finally!

Good luck to you!

Are you sure that you are not my twin - nice clothes in the closet unable to wear
Like you I am also trying a new strategy regarding eating and exercising.
I finally decided that as I have to take Synthroid daily which is a MUST, then why the hell is it impossible for me not to do some form of exercising daily too along with logging my food
I have started this and so far I have stuck to the plan with logging and daily exercising

MikePfirrman

wunderkindking wrote: »

I agree with not friending other people who share your problems - at least not exclusively - and that includes overdoing and brushing it off.

But man, also don't go all or nothing about it. That is part of why people quit and fail.

That includes 'ate a pint of ice cream, throwing the whole week in the trash, may as well enjoy myself now!' and it's faternal twin "I'm being healthier now, no more cookies/eating out/food I really like a lot for me!" YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GO OVER ON CALORIES SOMETIMES. IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL UNTIL IT BECOMES A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR.

We agree mostly. But the serial starters are usually the same ones that don't admit they went over for their day. They leave days off of calorie counting completely. And then usually say something to the extent of science denying, like "this isn't working for me...". "Oh, I'm the special flower that CICO doesn't work for...". When in reality, I wish they would put down the dozen cookies and half gallon of ice cream in their journal and get real.

For full disclosure, I don't log any longer. I did for like six years, every single flippin day, no days off.

Edit -- I'm not trying to be discouraging. If I had it to do all over, I wish someone would have told me to just log, every single day, for like a month. Don't worry about anything else.

Habits, not enthusiasm, is how you will get there. Habits happen better if you concentrate on changing just one thing, not two, certainly not 3, things at a time. Just religiously log all of your food for one month, weighing/measuring everything. Make that a habit that you will not compromise.

Then the second month, add in just one more thing (while retaining the habit of logging), like more movement -- 3 times a week.

The next month, rid yourself of all the calorie bombs (while doing the other two habits).

This is how success is built sustainably.

cmriverside

Despite all the diets, I haven't been able to keep the weight off or get under 200 pounds
Can I really do this after so many failures
What will I look like with all that extra hanging skin
Do I have the level of commitment and focus to stay strong
Can I make it the lifestyle everyone talks about so it becomes the norm

Let me just address your fears list, from having gone through all those fears when I lost the 80 pounds to go from 220 to 140. (In 2007-08, still at that weight, BTW.)

Can I really do this after so many failures

Yes. Of course. Fall seven times, get back up eight. Eat like a gorilla. Lots of fruit and vegetables.

What will I look like with all that extra hanging skin

I had *some* loose skin when I was done. It has all tightened up. Took between 1-2 years. I was 54 when I started my weight loss.

Do I have the level of commitment and focus to stay strong

Well, you kind of have to. Will it be a perfect process? No. Will there be several or many days of eating way too much? Yes. The commitment comes by getting back at it the Next Day. Not two weeks later. A day here and there of over calories does not make any difference. It's the trend and the consistency (not perfection)

Can I make it the lifestyle everyone talks about so it becomes the norm

Again, it doesn't happen in a one-time decision, it is a long process of two steps forward one step back and making small adjustments. Paying attention to actual hunger vs emotional hunger, being 80% consistent and 20% Grace.
Once again, lots of fruit and vegetables. An occasional treat (mango for the gorillas, or some ice cream for humans) but not every meal every day.




You won't find a fat gorilla...they just know their bodies.

Amazing creatures. I would so love to do that gorilla trek.

AnnPT77

Can you do this after so many failures?

Yes. People do, and stay at a healthy weight long term. You can, too.

*Learn* from those previous attempts. IMO, more important than "What worked to lose weight" is "What went wrong that prevented sticking with it? What went wrong that prevented keeping the lost pounds off?"

Often, people only think about "how did I lose weight fast the last time" and not about the rest of it, and the rest of it is the more important part.

Hanging skin

Many people seem to expect this to be a worse problem than it often is, looking long (long!) term. It's common to look worse part way to goal weight. (We can get kind of floppy/squishy, with remaining fat areas conspiring with gravity to keep skin stretched.)

Once that fat depletes more fully, skin can *begin* to shrink, and that takes time, too. That means we may look worse at goal weight than we will some months/years down the road into maintaining the loss. At age 60, my loose skin kept shrinking at least into year 2 of maintenance.

Go take a look at before & after photos over in the Success Stories part of the MFP Community. In clothes, most people look pretty indistinguishable from always-thin people. In bathing suits, there may be some loose skin, but often less than you might expect. At most extreme, surgery remains an option. In most places, surgery is at one's own cost, unless the loose skin is so severe as to be causing medical problems. If you start saving now, you may be well on your way to affording surgery by the time you reach goal weight + 2 years maintenance, and if you don't need the surgery . . . take a nice vacation.

Commitment and focus

"Motivation", "determination" and "willpower" tend to be fleeting. There's a honeymoon period.

Use that honeymoon period to find ways to make it *easy* to eat so that you're a bit below your then-current maintenance calories: Figure out what's easy, tasty, appealing, nutritious, practical for you personally. Ignore fads. Past the experiments to find the right routine, don't do things you're not willing to do forever, except for that sensibly moderate calorie deficit.

Use that honeymoon period to experiment and find ways to move more in your life - things that are enjoyable enough that you'd do them even if they weren't good for you. Moving more isn't just formal exercise, it can be new hobbies, redecorating your home, active play with children, games that involve movement - doesn't matter, just move more every day.

Many people treat weight loss as a brutal, punitive project with and end date. Instead, consider treating it as an experiment in finding the easy, sustainable ways to move more and eat fewer calories *happily* and *easily* *forever*.

Can you make it a lifestyle?

Yes, if that's what you work toward explicitly and intentionally, rather than treating weight loss as a project with an end date, after which things "go back to normal".

I lost from class 1 obese to a healthy weight back in 2015-16 using MFP, at age 59-60. I'd been overweight to obese for about 3 decades. I'm now 65, and have been at a healthy weight for 5+ years now.

You can do this, absolutely.

Wishing you much success!

coblujay

Thank you, Mike. One of my goals is to track every day and I'm 33 days in. I appreciate the tough love. I can definitely use your honest opinion. I'm not sure how to friend people here, but I'll figure it out. I'm a positive person overall and have been successful in my life in many areas and I refuse to stop traveling and challenging myself in other ways. This is one area that has been the biggest challenge. My plan is to keep moving forward even if it's just an ounce at a time. Be looking for my friend request!

coblujay

Thank you all for the great advice. It's encouraging to hear about your experiences. Wunderkind and Mike, I tend to surround myself with positive people, so this will be another area that I do that. People who inspire and encourage. My sister is joining me in this new life plan and that has already made it easier. We both cook extra meals and share them and we are hiking every Sunday at White Ranch in Colorado. The hikes are beautiful, the people are friendly and we get a chance to spend time together. Skylar and Socajam, I love the idea of lowering expectations a little so that I don't get disappointed so often. It's unreasonable to expect a few pounds every week. I have started cooking again. I'm surprised my stove still works. I'm having fun with it so far. Mike, love the idea of changing one thing at a time. It definitely gets overwhelming. The logging seems to be much easier since I discovered how to put recipes in. I can make changes to the ingredients and MFP will easily make those modifications. So I'll keep tracking. Congrats on 6 years of tracking!!

coblujay

Cmriverside, Thank you!! I had no idea that the skin would shrink up a bit. I remember the first time I saw an article about extra skin and was shocked. I love to travel to the wild places. I'm not really a beach and umbrella drink kind of person. The gorillas has to be one of my very favorite trips and I'd go back again in a second. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to do it that I really prepared with workouts. Haha! Lots of fruit and veggies for the gorillas!

coblujay

AnnPT77, Congratulations on maintaining for 5+ years. I'm 62 now. I will look at the success stories. I guess I need to take a photo so I can post my before and after in a couple years. You are an inspiration. Thanks for addressing all my questions. I've been at about 250 for the last 20 years. Looking forward to breaking through!!

Skyler103

You have such a great attitude, and with your sis to lean on, I'm confident that you'll do this better than you ever have before!

coblujay

Thanks Skyler103. I'm lucky to have her. She pushes and encourages me all the time.

cmriverside

That
Picture
Is
Awesome


I'm a big gorilla fan. One of my acquaintances from volunteering at the zoo was scheduled to do that trip last summer

I haven't run into her in a few months, so I hope she was able to get it re-scheduled. It was for her going to be a trip of a lifetime, too. I guess Covid is a pretty big threat for the gorillas as well as Ebola and of course poaching. The more tourists the better for the gorillas apparently. If people can learn about them they're more likely to protect them.


Thanks for that beautiful face.

I can't even. So amazing.

PersonOfDisinterest

Go-rillas are overrated nobody cares they aren't even that cool whatever

cmriverside

PersonOfDisinterest wrote: »

Go-rillas are overrated nobody cares they aren't even that cool whatever

Gingers.

Always feisty, eh?

coblujay

Haha! To each their own Person of Disinterest. Cm, I loved every minute with them. The hike was tough, but so worth it in the end. I'll treasure the memories forever.

coblujay

Two month update: I really appreciated all the great advice when I posted this two months ago and I took that advice very seriously. I've had some struggles, but have remained focused. On July 6th, I had lost thirteen pounds since officially starting this journey on June 3rd.

As of today:

• Lost 27.6# total
• Exercising 4-5 days a week. I've added swimming to the mix of hiking and Orange Theory Fitness (OTF). It's been a great addition. I hadn't done laps before and while I'm still learning and working on my endurance, I've really loved my time in the pool.
• Logged for 97 days
• Went through my closet and donated anything that no longer fit or that I won't ever wear. All my size 22 pants have been donated. I'm never going there again.
• I visit the forums on a regular basis to stay connected and gain inspiration

What's next?

• As the weather gets colder, my sister and I won't be hiking any more, so I plan to add more OTF sessions.
• I found an indoor pool where I can continue to swim
• Interested in adding more specific weight training
• Will be researching taking a diet break for a week or two to give my body a rest. I'm a little nervous about this. I don't want to get off track.

Thanks to everyone for all their encouragement and suggestions. Hoping to report back more progress two months from today.

callsitlikeiseeit

you are doing AMAZING.

and as someone who has lost 192 pounds since 2014 (and counting)....without surgery. you CAN do this. I promise!

And with only 40 some pounds to go, so far no loose skin. That could change, but so far so good.

springlering62

I love updates, especially well thought out and inspirational ones!!!!!

AnnPT77

@Coblujay, you are doing *just great*. In fact, it sound practically perfect, such as the way you've found forms of exercise it sounds like you really enjoy: Good stuff. I hope things are going well on the satiation front, too. Those are pretty key variables, I think, happy activity and reasonable satiety.

A diet break can be a really good idea. You've done so well, I'm betting you'll ace that, too. Maybe thinking of it as "maintenance practice" helps frame it in an extra progress-oriented way?

Since you're researching, you've probably seen the thread here, but in case not:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1

It identifies some good outside resources, too.

Wishing you continuing success . . . and in your case, I'd place bets on it!

coblujay

@callsitlikeiseeit Wowsa!! You are an inspiration. I'm so happy for you. I'm seeing some loose skin already, but taking it as a badge of honor. That could change as more appears. I do know that I'm feeling so much stronger and confident and I love fitting into clothes I couldn't wear before. Thank you!

coblujay

@springlering62 Thank you! I'm following your journey with your BL and enjoying every post.

callsitlikeiseeit

coblujay wrote: »

@callsitlikeiseeit Wowsa!! You are an inspiration. I'm so happy for you. I'm seeing some loose skin already, but taking it as a badge of honor. That could change as more appears. I do know that I'm feeling so much stronger and confident and I love fitting into clothes I couldn't wear before. Thank you!

i remember how EXCITED i was when i realized i could buy clothes in a 'NORMAL' store! in 'NORMAL' sizes! i was like oh, wait! i dont have to go to a special store or to a back corner of the store!

a lot of loose skin tightens up naturally as you go along and then more over time. stay well hydrated, lotion, coconut oil, pick your moisturizer of choice- a lot of people swear by it. it may or may not help, but it also wont hurt. and youll smell good LOL losing it slowly helps. gives the skin time to 'recover' it truly is not a race. i took about a 2 year maintenance 'break' and just started back at the beginning of this year. like i said, we will see what happens skin wise as i continue (im looking at you, lower stomach....), but for now its okay.

kshama2001

coblujay wrote: »

Two month update: I really appreciated all the great advice when I posted this two months ago and I took that advice very seriously. I've had some struggles, but have remained focused. On July 6th, I had lost thirteen pounds since officially starting this journey on June 3rd.

As of today:

• Lost 27.6# total
• Exercising 4-5 days a week. I've added swimming to the mix of hiking and Orange Theory Fitness (OTF). It's been a great addition. I hadn't done laps before and while I'm still learning and working on my endurance, I've really loved my time in the pool.
• Logged for 97 days
• Went through my closet and donated anything that no longer fit or that I won't ever wear. All my size 22 pants have been donated. I'm never going there again.
• I visit the forums on a regular basis to stay connected and gain inspiration

What's next?

• As the weather gets colder, my sister and I won't be hiking any more, so I plan to add more OTF sessions.
• I found an indoor pool where I can continue to swim
• Interested in adding more specific weight training
• Will be researching taking a diet break for a week or two to give my body a rest. I'm a little nervous about this. I don't want to get off track.

Thanks to everyone for all their encouragement and suggestions. Hoping to report back more progress two months from today.

Thanks for the update!

Why no winter hiking? I stop hiking in the summer and am happy when the cooler weather rolls around again. I just keep adding more layers, warmer boots, and wool socks. Save a pair of larger jeans and put some leggings or pajama bottoms under them.

I've had decades of practice, lol.

AnnPT77

coblujay wrote: »

@callsitlikeiseeit Wowsa!! You are an inspiration. I'm so happy for you. I'm seeing some loose skin already, but taking it as a badge of honor. That could change as more appears. I do know that I'm feeling so much stronger and confident and I love fitting into clothes I couldn't wear before. Thank you!

FWIW, WRT to loose skin after goal:

@springlering62, who commented above, is one who's posted some good before/after photos, and she's approximately in your (our) demographic.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10763291/my-turn-to-overshare-my-adventure

Much less impressive, and only 50-ish pounds lost in total at age 59-60, but this is my loose skin report from age 64 after maintaining within a healthy range for a few years (I'm a tad thinner than that now, maybe a little more skin shrinking with time after those few more pounds, but no dramatic changes):

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10809632/loose-skin-50lbs-loss-at-60-4-years-maintenance#latest

My loose skin definitely looked worse en route to that point, especially during loss when subcutaneous fat was still conspiring with gravity to keep skin stretched. Don't let that scare you. Odds are good that it'll improve at goal weight, and improve further in the months afterward of maintaining goal weight. It's a process. 😉😆

springlering62

kshama2001 wrote: »

coblujay wrote: »

Two month update: I really appreciated all the great advice when I posted this two months ago and I took that advice very seriously. I've had some struggles, but have remained focused. On July 6th, I had lost thirteen pounds since officially starting this journey on June 3rd.

As of today:

• Lost 27.6# total
• Exercising 4-5 days a week. I've added swimming to the mix of hiking and Orange Theory Fitness (OTF). It's been a great addition. I hadn't done laps before and while I'm still learning and working on my endurance, I've really loved my time in the pool.
• Logged for 97 days
• Went through my closet and donated anything that no longer fit or that I won't ever wear. All my size 22 pants have been donated. I'm never going there again.
• I visit the forums on a regular basis to stay connected and gain inspiration

What's next?

• As the weather gets colder, my sister and I won't be hiking any more, so I plan to add more OTF sessions.
• I found an indoor pool where I can continue to swim
• Interested in adding more specific weight training
• Will be researching taking a diet break for a week or two to give my body a rest. I'm a little nervous about this. I don't want to get off track.

Thanks to everyone for all their encouragement and suggestions. Hoping to report back more progress two months from today.

Thanks for the update!

Why no winter hiking? I stop hiking in the summer and am happy when the cooler weather rolls around again. I just keep adding more layers, warmer boots, and wool socks. Save a pair of larger jeans and put some leggings or pajama bottoms under them.

I've had decades of practice, lol.

OMG that’s like Rudolph Christmas special cute!

coblujay

@kshama2001 My sister and I were looking at the trail today and decided we could easily do the more level road section even when it snows. The other trails we hike have steeper climbs and downhills and unless it's dry, I'm not confident enough to attempt them in the snow or mud. I've really enjoyed our hikes, not just the challenge, but spending time with my sister. So I'm hopeful we can keep going. What a fun picture!!

coblujay

@callsitlikeiseeit I'm still far from buying "normal" clothes, but I'm fitting into clothes I have in my closet but haven't worn for years. I've been using lotions, but that might be a good place to add lots of yummy scents. Watch out, lower stomach, she has it in for you!!

coblujay

@AnnPT77 You have been one of my inspirations from the start, Ann. I read so many of your responses that are filled with wisdom from personal experience. I will check out the post on diet breaks. I don't crave much and seem primarily hungry when i don't have those extra exercise calories to add to my deficit calorie level. So, I'm careful to preplan when I know one of those busy days is coming up. I can't wait to read through the posts on extra skin. I'm just excited to see it right now. I'm sure it will get old as more weight comes off. I'll do my best to be patient and let my body adjust to the new norm. I still have about 60-70 pounds to lose, but I'm getting there!! Thank you for all your support!