Moment of realness
Replies
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Well hello, there! I thought I’d follow up.
I think I’ve figured out what’s going on here.
Over the years my ribs had to flare out like a half-opened umbrella to accommodate my big, round waistline.
Because I was obese, once I lost weight, my ribs remained stuck out like the roofline of a little kid’s drawing of a house. They were at a 45 degree angle to my trunk.
I learned to accept them for what they are and just teach myself to stop seeing them. You know, you weightloss meisters, you. Thats when we focus and obsess on something about our bodies we don’t like and have to pretend not to acknowledge it anymore else we drive ourselves bonkers. I was there with my ribs.
Friends, my ribs are finally starting to slope down!!!!!
Whoaaaaa!!!!
The reason my belly is getting softer and squishier is because all the extra skin is now being confined under the narrower “roof line”.
I always joke that when I plank, if I’m wearing a crop top (because I can) to extra skin hangs down and I look like a cow needing milking. I noticed Saturday my faux-teats almost reached the ground. (Sometimes I think about the weirdest crap during yoga!)
Does I care? No!!!! That’s why God gave us spandex, Lycra, and high waisted britches.
And something else is fixing to happen, because I realized this morning I’m chafing in a really odd spot at the back of both underarms, and had to pull out the Body Glide. (A godsend product, if you’re not familiar with it.)
The last couple times I had unexplained chafing came before something good.
All this is to say, even three years in to weight loss and a year into maintenance, my body still rewards me for my efforts and the love I give it.
If you’re worried about stretch marks, turkey neck, loose skin, and so on, just stick with what you’re doing. We’ve given our bodies years of abuse and they need time to catch back up with this.12 -
Bump to @KickassAmazon76’s great posts, and a comment regarding extra or loose skin following weight loss.
I decided to treat myself to a dream pair of embroidered blue jeans. Way up-budget from what I spend on clothes. (I’m a TJ Maxx kinda girl, but following weight loss I’m making a conscious effort to get better quality and better fitting clothes, but fewer of them, since I live in leggings anyway.)
Anyway, I was carefully measuring my waist with a tape measure and was getting 34. That equates to about a size 12 in this particular brand, which made no sense. I’ve been wearing 27 in another brand, which has become loose, and consistently wear a 2 or 4 in other pants.
So I held my nose and ordered a 26.
Too big. Have had to send them back to swap for a smaller size.
Now, the tape measure gets 34, but the actual size that fits is far below that.
Loose skin on the belly is very very….flexible, malleable, moldable, for lack of better words.
If you are measuring inches, be aware that once you reach a certain point, it’s no longer a particularly valid way of determining loss, or enjoying those NSVs.
Loose skin has a mind of its own. I mean, it is really really weird and misleading, like a parasitic alien being.
No plans for a tuck. It’s taking a while, but I can see the loose skin diminishing. In the two weeks since my “apron” post, my apron has disappeared again, and there’s a visible improvement in loose skin.
Persistence, sticking to plan, continuing to move move move and log log log. Beats the hell out of painful surgery.
I am not special. If I can do this, you can, too.11 -
THANK YOU for the continued updates, @springlering62 !!3
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@springlering62 You are amazing, and I appreciate your posts SO MUCH.
i have been really struggling with the extra weight I've gained.
For me, one of the first places I see it is in my raging cellulite. As soon as I get a bit of extra weight, I see it everywhere. If I were to hazard a guess, it's because my skin is pretty tight against the muscle, and it's very thin. (Figuratively and literally)... so as soon as the fat cells swell, the dimples appear.
I know it's normal, and many have it, and it's pretty much out of my control UNLESS I stay sub 22% bf, but still... It being there makes me grumpy. I am working on learning to love myself through it all... but some lessons are harder than others!
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I can't love this thread more. Seriously, you ladies are awesome. And @springlering62, your really crack me up.
Thanks for the post about the measuring being wonky. I feel like every time I try to measure myself, I get a different number! Sometimes down, but usually up. I just gave up entirely, because I can tell by my clothes that I've gotten smaller. Either I really don't know how to use a measuring tape, or my body is being weird. *shrug*
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Not me, not-randomly bumping threads I think are awesome and helpful and shouldn't be buried...7
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Love this thread!4
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I'm going to post here, adding to the batwing/bingo wing part of the dialog, because another thread has me PO-ed about this pet-peeve subject. (I hope our fine OP here, @KickassAmazon76, will be OK with this addition.) Also, this thread can always use a bump, because it's excellent.
In photo 1, here we have the classic arm flap thingie, as illustrated by me, 66-year-old mostly non-weight-lifter, who lost 50+ pounds a few years back. Arm horizontal, relaxed. Flappity flap. Ooo, the horrorzzz! 🙄😉
Photo 2, same me, slightly different moment, just holding the same arm the same amount of relaxed, but vertical orientation. (Still a little of my hair in the photo at left, so you can see that this is the orientation.) Where has that hangy/flappy bit gone? Hmmmm.
Photo 3, same me, yet another nearby moment, upper arm still oriented horizontally, but flexing as much as I can. I'm not very good at this flexing thing, and like I said not really a lifter, but it does seem like there's less hang/flap, vs. photo 1, unless I deceive myself.
Finally, photo 4. I'm still not that great at the flex, but even holding the arm out straight, looking almost the same orientation-wise as photo 1, but focusing hard on tightening upper arm muscles in that same position, there's - I think - noticeably less hang/flap. (Yes, there's still some.) Imagine what a person could do, if they practiced. (I didn't.) Imagine what a person could do, with a professional photographer, professional lighting (instead of my badly-light hallway-wall cell phone selfie). You don't suppose the online fitspo influencers use tricks like that to deceive us, do you? 😉😆
On top of that, these flex photos would look more defined, if I'd lifted before taking the flexed photos, after taking the relaxed one. (I hate to lift. It's a character fault. So I didn't.)
And BTW, yes, my underarm looks a little weird: Some surgeon took out a bunch of lymph nodes there, and then a radiation oncologist irradiated that whole area, creating stringy-looking scar tissue (cording). (It's fine, now. Just looks unusual, divots and cording. I don't care.) It's too hard to take photos of the other (right) arm, with my non-dominant (left) hand.7 -
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wilson10102018 wrote: »
Now that there’s pretty darn funny.1 -
What a great encouraging post!3
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Bump. Just because I love the amazing and special ladies who posted on this thread.
@AnnPT77 and @KickassAmazon76 you're both still logging, rowing, lifting etc.
How about an update?
I’m probably about eight pounds or so heavier than the last time I posted on this thread.
At first I was a little panicked. But……..had I quit weighing, logging, exercising? Nope. I’m still wearing the same clothes as last year. Why the weight gain? Muscle weight.
The only difference is the summer shorts I just pulled out are harder to pull up because my thighs are more muscular. Had to eliminate a few shirts, too, because of arm and shoulder muscles.
Do I look less feminine with muscles? I’d venture to say, nope! Anyway I like them and I don’t give a flying *kitten* what anyone else thinks.
My “plank udder” has shrunk, skin below the neck has tightened, I don’t have loose-skin crepe paper thighs (it was like watching a walking accordion above the knees. Building muscle with squats helped- you can’t spot reduce but damned if you can’t spot improve, at least a little).
Above the shoulders, well, no amount of exercise is going to help there lol-other than with mental attitude. A smile and body confidence (me!!!!) go a long way towards making people ignore that area anyway. I was never a beauty, so not gonna worry now lol.
One thing that’s really different- and rather disappointing- is that strangers acknowledge me now. When I was obese, people looked right through me. Was that me, trying not to be seen, or people dismissing me due to weight? It seems the smaller I’ve gotten, the larger I loom, and it confounds me.
Anyway, hoping folks will update or share here!13 -
springlering62 wrote: »Bump. Just because I love the amazing and special ladies who posted on this thread.
@AnnPT77 and @KickassAmazon76 you're both still logging, rowing, lifting etc.
How about an update?
(snipsies)
OK: You asked, remember? And this is a thread about realness, right? It's pretty real around here, right now, maybe in the spirit of the thread, maybe beyond. I'm behaving like an ornery toddler lately.
Last week, it was temporarily nice weather here and I got out in a boat a couple of times, and had some nice outdoor bike rides, after a seemingly interminable cold, snowy, dark Winter.That's me (in orange shirt and cap, closest to the camera), with 2 other 60-somethings in stern 3, on Friday . . . though our bow rower/photographer is a mere child of 43.
That, plus on the health front I went and got blood tested in preparation to meet with (I hope) my new primary care doc, since the one I've had for 20+ years (and trusted lots) has retired. I'm mildly cranky about that.
Then it turned stupid cold and rainy again, even snowed again, and I went into tantrum mode, I guess.
I'd been doing better than usual this Winter, keeping my hedonistic self going pretty well with less-fun indoor workouts 6 days most weeks (stationary bike, machine row), with fewer breaks in the action than a usual Winter (hardly any this year). But the weather shift was apparently an excuse to bleeahh, and I've only done a couple of short (2-3 mile) walks and a couple of stationary bike workouts (about an hour each) this week. Plus I've been eating All. The. Foods. 🙄
This, too, will pass, I'm sure. Helpfully, I'm starting to miss my normal routine (and the weather will actually generate some Spring-ness here eventually, and I'll be out on the river again).
Weight's still fine, though obviously creeping up a little, quite slowly, still BMI 22, clothes still fit, etc. Too soon for fitness impact from slacking off, as of today Garmin still claims my (walking) fitness age is less than half my chronological age (🤣🤣🤣 in literal terms, but I'll take it as a good sign nonetheless).
Am I angry, guilty, anxious about this? Nah, not much. It happens sometimes, over these years of maintenance. Then normally I eventually find my mind, replace it in my head, start behaving like a semi grownup again. Probably go that way this time, too. 🤷♀️
Real enough? 😉😆
One thing that’s really different- and rather disappointing- is that strangers acknowledge me now. When I was obese, people looked right through me. Was that me, trying not to be seen, or people dismissing me due to weight? It seems the smaller I’ve gotten, the larger I loom, and it confounds me.
Anyway, hoping folks will update or share here!
Y'know, I didn't have that perception, though I know it's a common experience. (And BTW I don't at all disbelieve those who report it.) I don't know whether it's that I'm oblivious to others' attention (or lack), or loud therefore noticeable at every size, or not cute** so was never noticed whether fat or thin, or what.
** I mention the cuteness thing because I've also known other women to say they became invisible as they aged, and I didn't/don't have that sense about myself either, at least not so far. In context, given the people who said that to me, I've wondered if that was about their becoming (or feeling/presenting as) less attractive or sexy with age, in common cultural terms. Attractive appearance has nearly never been my currency, save perhaps a short period of teens to early 20s where most women have some kind of dewy-sweet gazelle-grace appeal going on.
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… I've also known other women to say they became invisible as they aged, and I didn't/don't have that sense about myself either, at least not so far. In context, given the people who said that to me, I've wondered if that was about their becoming (or feeling/presenting as) less attractive or sexy with age, in common cultural terms.
Ann, you clearly present as a stacked, healthy, older woman.
I’ve found that, as I cross the line to similar, people don’t know what to make of me.
When I had a giant chest, my mom used to berate me “Stick ‘em out and be proud of ‘em!” (which naturally only made me 100x more self conscious .) I became an expert at hiding boobs, weight, etc. I’ve never enjoyed standing out, now with more visible muscle than last year, am a little uneasy about warmer weather coming. (I walk 10 miles or so a day in our CBD for various reasons.)
I can choose to be invisible if I cover up, or watch heads in surprise turn the few warm days I’ve been able not to. It’s a strange paradigm. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with it this summer, since, obvs, covering up is not an option here in the Deep South.
You, with your muscles and rowing skills, probably have a bit more unintentional swagger or confidence or “presence” or even “shock value” than the average “older” woman .
You’re far beyond the realm of average and thus, not invisible.
There’s a new generation of women like you and (blush) me, and more coming as the healthier crop of youngsters age. It’ll be interesting to see how society recognizes us.
Sorry if this comes off as more me me me. I do a *kitten* poor job of trying to explain.3 -
springlering62 wrote: »
… I've also known other women to say they became invisible as they aged, and I didn't/don't have that sense about myself either, at least not so far. In context, given the people who said that to me, I've wondered if that was about their becoming (or feeling/presenting as) less attractive or sexy with age, in common cultural terms.
Ann, you clearly present as a stacked, healthy, older woman.
I’ve found that, as I cross the line to similar, people don’t know what to make of me.
When I had a giant chest, my mom used to berate me “Stick ‘em out and be proud of ‘em!” (which naturally only made me 100x more self conscious .) I became an expert at hiding boobs, weight, etc. I’ve never enjoyed standing out, now with more visible muscle than last year, am a little uneasy about warmer weather coming. (I walk 10 miles or so a day in our CBD for various reasons.)
I can choose to be invisible if I cover up, or watch heads in surprise turn the few warm days I’ve been able not to. It’s a strange paradigm. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with it this summer, since, obvs, covering up is not an option here in the Deep South.
You, with your muscles and rowing skills, probably have a bit more unintentional swagger or confidence or “presence” or even “shock value” than the average “older” woman .
You’re far beyond the realm of average and thus, not invisible.
There’s a new generation of women like you and (blush) me, and more coming as the healthier crop of youngsters age. It’ll be interesting to see how society recognizes us.
Sorry if this comes off as more me me me. I do a *kitten* poor job of trying to explain.
You're very flattering to my ego - thank you for that.
Note, though, that while I admittedly lost less weight than you have, I was class 1 obese (and looked it) at age 59.
I didn't feel invisible then. I don't feel any less or more visible now. I don't perceive a difference.
Is that my perception, or something real? Dunno.
Like I said, maybe I'm just not tuned into what other people are thinking/doing - oblivious. Maybe there was something unusually visible about my way of being when I was fat, compared to others, that's still part of my way of being now (though I don't have any reason to believe that to be true, nor do I have any hint what it could be if it was true).
I believe you, I believe others who've made similar observations. But I didn't/don't feel it in my own life (so far), fat or thin . . . other than perhaps that brief period in youth where I felt more noticed (but was maybe simply more self-conscious).3 -
I just saw these posts now. Ladies you are so amazing and I'm so impressed to read your thoughts and viewpoints. Thank you so much for sharing!
Hard to believe it's been almost 2 years since the original post. I lost weight. Life got tough and I gained some back, then I got back to lifting and I've been focused more on drinking my water, eating at a mild deficit, and lifting HEAVY. I am loving the changes I am seeing (and the strength). I still have the same realness though... cellulite, scars, rolls - all still there... but I am learning to accept them.
Even though my weight has only changed by about 10 pounds, I feel like my body has changed a lot more. I'll see if I can find a progress pic, and then maybe a relaxed pic for comparison. (Cuz flexed always looks so much different! haha)
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Love this post! Thanks so much for sharing!1
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »I just saw these posts now. Ladies you are so amazing and I'm so impressed to read your thoughts and viewpoints. Thank you so much for sharing!
Hard to believe it's been almost 2 years since the original post. I lost weight. Life got tough and I gained some back, then I got back to lifting and I've been focused more on drinking my water, eating at a mild deficit, and lifting HEAVY. I am loving the changes I am seeing (and the strength). I still have the same realness though... cellulite, scars, rolls - all still there... but I am learning to accept them.
Even though my weight has only changed by about 10 pounds, I feel like my body has changed a lot more. I'll see if I can find a progress pic, and then maybe a relaxed pic for comparison. (Cuz flexed always looks so much different! haha)
I’ve seen the pics and the GIFs. You are just a ball of awesomeness fire.5 -
Looking good and fit! 2
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I can tell at first glance it was the same day.. you were just sticking your stomach out on the second photos. You're in great shape.. all of us could slouch over. or let our stomachs stick out. But, overall. you're in fantastic shape. But i get your point. Photos on social media platforms are touched up .. taken from best angles and lighting ... not real one bit.
Even my own daughter.. whom i think is so beautiful .. looks like a different person and nothing like her real self in the photos she posts. Wheni see them, i think? Who is that? AS if, some other pretty girl is pretendng to be my daughter.
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I am so f’ing grateful I don’t have a teenager these days. I don’t even know how parents cope, and the ginormous pressure kids put on themselves, just to look like little pouty lipped, almond-lined eyes just like the next girl. It really creeps me out. It’s like little robot armies of lookalikes.elisa123gal wrote: »I can tell at first glance it was the same day.. you were just sticking your stomach out on the second photos. You're in great shape.. all of us could slouch over. or let our stomachs stick out. But, overall. you're in fantastic shape. But i get your point. Photos on social media platforms are touched up .. taken from best angles and lighting ... not real one bit.
Even my own daughter.. whom i think is so beautiful .. looks like a different person and nothing like her real self in the photos she posts. Wheni see them, i think? Who is that? AS if, some other pretty girl is pretendng to be my daughter.
Sorry. Old person rant over.
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My daughter (age 15, sophomore in high school) tries to make herself different from the crowd by dressing pseudo-Goth, then is surprised/upset when the other girls, rather than celebrate her individuality, shame her for not looking like them. Any given day you never know when she comes home from school whether she'll be upbeat or abjectly depressed. Yes, we're looking into whether she is bipolar, but still...7
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My daughter (age 15, sophomore in high school) tries to make herself different from the crowd by dressing pseudo-Goth, then is surprised/upset when the other girls, rather than celebrate her individuality, shame her for not looking like them. Any given day you never know when she comes home from school whether she'll be upbeat or abjectly depressed. Yes, we're looking into whether she is bipolar, but still...
This was both my girls. I despaired of the goth look, but my husband told me there was a lot worse things they could be do, and they were only Demi-goth, so yeah, he was right. They were great kids.
One went to a pretty strict Christian school and would do anything she could to be different. They had to change the dress code umpteen times to thwart her. She would wear mutlpple necklaces. Banned. Long elaborate homemade earrings. Banned. Homemade hair extensions of yarn and shiny thread. Banned. Drawings on her shoe soles. Banned. As soon as school was done for the day, she’d change into a rainbow tutu and red furry leg warmers for her volunteer gig as an afterschool assistant for the little ones.
Ironically, the younger kids thought she was awesome and a lot of the older ones copied her. But she just never felt like she fit.
It wasn’t til the Halloween after she graduated, one of the teachers contacted her and asked to borrow one of her wigs, tutu, and leg warmers. She went to the school Halloween party as my daughter and everyone instantly knew who she was. She had done it in love and respect and not to make fun of my daughter. Great teacher, and I had the opportunity to thank her recently.
For some reason, that really connected with my daughter and eased a lot of the pain of high school.
I sincerely hope she hangs in there through HS, and that you tell her every day she has your love and support. I don’t think we told ours enough and they need to hear it during these periods. Girls are THE worst to other girls.6 -
springlering62 wrote: »
I am so f’ing grateful I don’t have a teenager these days. I don’t even know how parents cope, and the ginormous pressure kids put on themselves, just to look like little pouty lipped, almond-lined eyes just like the next girl. It really creeps me out. It’s like little robot armies of lookalikes.elisa123gal wrote: »I can tell at first glance it was the same day.. you were just sticking your stomach out on the second photos. You're in great shape.. all of us could slouch over. or let our stomachs stick out. But, overall. you're in fantastic shape. But i get your point. Photos on social media platforms are touched up .. taken from best angles and lighting ... not real one bit.
Even my own daughter.. whom i think is so beautiful .. looks like a different person and nothing like her real self in the photos she posts. Wheni see them, i think? Who is that? AS if, some other pretty girl is pretendng to be my daughter.
Sorry. Old person rant over.
I am so f’ing grateful I'm not a teenager these days.
I was just telling my OH this AM that I liked 90's grunge and stuck with it
I was in high school in the early 80s and all that I remember was the hair (which I did not have.) 2 -
kshama2001 wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »
I am so f’ing grateful I don’t have a teenager these days. I don’t even know how parents cope, and the ginormous pressure kids put on themselves, just to look like little pouty lipped, almond-lined eyes just like the next girl. It really creeps me out. It’s like little robot armies of lookalikes.elisa123gal wrote: »I can tell at first glance it was the same day.. you were just sticking your stomach out on the second photos. You're in great shape.. all of us could slouch over. or let our stomachs stick out. But, overall. you're in fantastic shape. But i get your point. Photos on social media platforms are touched up .. taken from best angles and lighting ... not real one bit.
Even my own daughter.. whom i think is so beautiful .. looks like a different person and nothing like her real self in the photos she posts. Wheni see them, i think? Who is that? AS if, some other pretty girl is pretendng to be my daughter.
Sorry. Old person rant over.
I am so f’ing grateful I'm not a teenager these days.
I was just telling my OH this AM that I liked 90's grunge and stuck with it I was in high school in the early 80s and all that I remember was the hair (which I did not have.)
I went for the the huge rock chick hair 🤣🤣 oh how stupid I looked. Not to mention how many cans or hairspray I got through. Got light blue streaks put in and school told me to leave until I removed them. Then I discovered nu-metal and grunge. Not sure that was a better look either!
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elisa123gal wrote: »I can tell at first glance it was the same day.. you were just sticking your stomach out on the second photos. You're in great shape.. all of us could slouch over. or let our stomachs stick out. But, overall. you're in fantastic shape. But i get your point. Photos on social media platforms are touched up .. taken from best angles and lighting ... not real one bit.
Even my own daughter.. whom i think is so beautiful .. looks like a different person and nothing like her real self in the photos she posts. Wheni see them, i think? Who is that? AS if, some other pretty girl is pretendng to be my daughter.
I wasn't pushing out my stomach, I just wasn't sucking it in. That was me just relaxed. I wasn't faking it to look bigger. If anything, the flexed pic is more false. 😔
Since then, I am probably up another ten pounds so it's even more of a difference now.
As I age and my wrinkles start to show, skin care isn't as smooth... It can be very tempting to go the way of filters. I try to avoid them as much as possible, otherwise I end up hating what I see in the mirror.0 -
springlering62 wrote: »
I don't know that I want to SEE progress pics at this point. My before and afters have swapped. 🤪
Though looking back to where I was when I thought I was in my "best shape", I now recognize why some of my friends were getting worried about me.1 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »
I don't know that I want to SEE progress pics at this point. My before and afters have swapped. 🤪
Though looking back to where I was when I thought I was in my "best shape", I now recognize why some of my friends were getting worried about me.
I just saw the pic you posted of yourself. Why are they worried? You’re an inspiration 👏🏻0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOgd9hitEAE
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