Moment of realness
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I saw a terrific article yesterday on Apple News about an influencer named Danae Mercer.
She’s getting a huge following by showing how photos are either doctored or highly posed, using herself, with before and after photos. One was 8 am being flat bellied, and by 8:05 am having a belly pooch from eating or drinking.
She also shows how folks are positioning or lighting themselves in photos and shows herself in similar positions or lighting versus not posed.
I like that someone showing their “real” body is getting a following. Bully for her!
I was looking at a site yesterday for sports bras and was shocked to see models with saggy weight loss belly like mine, or stretch marks, or other “imperfections”. Then I was mad at myself for being shocked. Why should we recoil when we see real people with real “flaws”, instead of some heroin-chic starved model with a downturned frown, black eyes, and airbrushed skin?
This is what we’ve wanted and asked for, so why is it such a shock to the system to see?
I also looked at Amazon for sports bras. The Chinese sellers are the worst for doctoring bodies in product photos. Women with a perfect trunk shape, sporting spaghetti arms bent at wierd angles. Or butts blown out of proportion and then skinny little back-bent legs. If you ever want to go down a rabbit hole (I did) spend an hour looking at a product, then follow the chain of similar products. The more desperate the seller is to climb the rankings, the funnier the photos get.4 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »
I don't know that I want to SEE progress pics at this point. My before and afters have swapped. 🤪
Though looking back to where I was when I thought I was in my "best shape", I now recognize why some of my friends were getting worried about me.
I just saw the pic you posted of yourself. Why are they worried? You’re an inspiration 👏🏻
I meant that back when I thought I looked my best, my friends were getting worried that I was too thin, but I still saw fat and rolls and wanted to lose another 10lb. I didn't see what they saw.
Now I have a lot more muscle and fat.. Almost 40lb more. But I am pretty sure I prefer this me to that one. (still want to lose 10lb though lol)
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Although it’s not my position to like or dislike your body, I think the blue photo looks so much stronger and fitter and healthier. Good for you!
I did the same, and am happy I did. But….
Question, for yall ladies that lift. My back has always been broad but lately, lifting is making back, thighs, arms and calves more muscular, with no soft “give”.
My thighs are pulling my pants down and my arms and back are pulling my tops tight and short. But if I size up, waists and shirts will be too big.
The only brand that fits awesomely doesn’t ship here, so I have to wait til I travel to buy anything from them. My old go-to fit great til lately but it has spaghetti sleeves and barely covers my waistline since shoulders pull their garb up.
I’m having to dump a lot of clothes.
US manufacturers I’ve tried assume anyone wearing a smaller size is a stick figure.
How do y'all deal with this? Any brands you can recommend?
I feel like I’ve suddenly hit this really awkward size phase.
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springlering62 wrote: »Although it’s not my position to like or dislike your body, I think the blue photo looks so much stronger and fitter and healthier. Good for you!
I did the same, and am happy I did. But….
Question, for yall ladies that lift. My back has always been broad but lately, lifting is making back, thighs, arms and calves more muscular, with no soft “give”.
My thighs are pulling my pants down and my arms and back are pulling my tops tight and short. But if I size up, waists and shirts will be too big.
The only brand that fits awesomely doesn’t ship here, so I have to wait til I travel to buy anything from them. My old go-to fit great til lately but it has spaghetti sleeves and barely covers my waistline since shoulders pull their garb up.
I’m having to dump a lot of clothes.
US manufacturers I’ve tried assume anyone wearing a smaller size is a stick figure.
How do y'all deal with this? Any brands you can recommend?
I feel like I’ve suddenly hit this really awkward size phase.
I find that jeans marketed towards curvy fit tend to work better with my waist to butt ratio... But the best fit was to spend the $20 to fit for Thighs and get the waist taken in at a tailor. I wear a lot more stretchy clothes because nothing is soft on me anymore... 🤪 The stretchy clothes give a bit more in the areas they need to.
It's a real struggle (then add in to the fact that I'm 6'1 and my torso, legs and arms are longer... I'm guaranteed that my clothes won't fit)
Thank you for the compliment! I really appreciate it! I'm pleased with the way I look now. 😊2 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »Although it’s not my position to like or dislike your body, I think the blue photo looks so much stronger and fitter and healthier. Good for you!
I did the same, and am happy I did. But….
Question, for yall ladies that lift. My back has always been broad but lately, lifting is making back, thighs, arms and calves more muscular, with no soft “give”.
My thighs are pulling my pants down and my arms and back are pulling my tops tight and short. But if I size up, waists and shirts will be too big.
The only brand that fits awesomely doesn’t ship here, so I have to wait til I travel to buy anything from them. My old go-to fit great til lately but it has spaghetti sleeves and barely covers my waistline since shoulders pull their garb up.
I’m having to dump a lot of clothes.
US manufacturers I’ve tried assume anyone wearing a smaller size is a stick figure.
How do y'all deal with this? Any brands you can recommend?
I feel like I’ve suddenly hit this really awkward size phase.
I find that jeans marketed towards curvy fit tend to work better with my waist to butt ratio... But the best fit was to spend the $20 to fit for Thighs and get the waist taken in at a tailor. I wear a lot more stretchy clothes because nothing is soft on me anymore... 🤪 The stretchy clothes give a bit more in the areas they need to.
It's a real struggle (then add in to the fact that I'm 6'1 and my torso, legs and arms are longer... I'm guaranteed that my clothes won't fit)
Thank you for the compliment! I really appreciate it! I'm pleased with the way I look now. 😊
I’m also struggling with clothes but I have the opposite issue as I’m 5’3 - so I often need petite ranges. Designers assume petite women are also sticks and not chunky mini Valkyries.
I really haven’t got it cracked yet, and a recent spell of hypertrophy has made my lats even bigger 😳 so nothing seems to fit. I’m currently living in a smart stretch skirt with boots for work, and a shirt or jumper. None of my t shirts fit and I agree the size up just looks ridiculous - because of my height I just look like I’m wearing my mum’s clothes (except she’s only 4’11).
I have found ‘paper bag’ trousers work for
My shape as they’re much more generous in the thighs but taper at the waist, and I’m also wearing wide leg trousers at the moment. They hang from my bum - rather than being held up by the sumo thighs - and look smart paired with a looser shirt.
I’ve just had to buy a new expensive winter work coat as the old one was straining over my back, and my coach has just gleefully informed me we’re doing hypertrophy again. Joy.2 -
It’s very interesting how our bodies keep changing for years after the main loss.
For me, the muscles still getting bigger, but all the loose skin, and what seems to be the remaining visceral fat, is being squoze into the area between pelvis and bottom ribs. (BTW, I can really see my ribs now. That’s new.) I can’t pull it out as far, but it’s like a water balloon around my waist. No matter how high the high-waist, it merrily pops up, out and over.
It’s become very exaggerated in the past two or three months and I’ve had to learn to live with it.
I was doing stuff in front of the gym mirror yesterday and happened to look at my feet. I had to laugh, because…. tears not allowed in gym, right? I had a little mini water balloon between ankle socks and leggings. WTF!!!! Now that’s just not fair. Even obese, I always had nice trim ankles.
Every time something nutty has happened like this, there’s been a big change. Last time I noticed oddball changes, my ribs went from horizontal to vertical. I’m holding my breath this time for a defined six pack, instead of giant wrinkled dimples where it should be.
I’ll be holding my breath indefinitely, I think. 🤣4 -
springlering62 wrote: »It’s very interesting how our bodies keep changing for years after the main loss.
For me, the muscles still getting bigger, but all the loose skin, and what seems to be the remaining visceral fat, is being squoze into the area between pelvis and bottom ribs. (BTW, I can really see my ribs now. That’s new.) I can’t pull it out as far, but it’s like a water balloon around my waist. No matter how high the high-waist, it merrily pops up, out and over.
It’s become very exaggerated in the past two or three months and I’ve had to learn to live with it.
I was doing stuff in front of the gym mirror yesterday and happened to look at my feet. I had to laugh, because…. tears not allowed in gym, right? I had a little mini water balloon between ankle socks and leggings. WTF!!!! Now that’s just not fair. Even obese, I always had nice trim ankles.
Every time something nutty has happened like this, there’s been a big change. Last time I noticed oddball changes, my ribs went from horizontal to vertical. I’m holding my breath this time for a defined six pack, instead of giant wrinkled dimples where it should be.
I’ll be holding my breath indefinitely, I think. 🤣
The issue I have at the moment is body insecurity. I promised myself I wouldn’t put the weight I lost back on but here I am - gradually going up. Granted most of it is muscle and I have totally changed shape, but in my mind it’s not a good thing. Totally irrational as I’m now training for sport and that’s why I’m changing, but sometimes the 90’s media demons of thinness being best creeps back in 🤷♂️2 -
claireychn074 wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »It’s very interesting how our bodies keep changing for years after the main loss.
For me, the muscles still getting bigger, but all the loose skin, and what seems to be the remaining visceral fat, is being squoze into the area between pelvis and bottom ribs. (BTW, I can really see my ribs now. That’s new.) I can’t pull it out as far, but it’s like a water balloon around my waist. No matter how high the high-waist, it merrily pops up, out and over.
It’s become very exaggerated in the past two or three months and I’ve had to learn to live with it.
I was doing stuff in front of the gym mirror yesterday and happened to look at my feet. I had to laugh, because…. tears not allowed in gym, right? I had a little mini water balloon between ankle socks and leggings. WTF!!!! Now that’s just not fair. Even obese, I always had nice trim ankles.
Every time something nutty has happened like this, there’s been a big change. Last time I noticed oddball changes, my ribs went from horizontal to vertical. I’m holding my breath this time for a defined six pack, instead of giant wrinkled dimples where it should be.
I’ll be holding my breath indefinitely, I think. 🤣
The issue I have at the moment is body insecurity. I promised myself I wouldn’t put the weight I lost back on but here I am - gradually going up. Granted most of it is muscle and I have totally changed shape, but in my mind it’s not a good thing. Totally irrational as I’m now training for sport and that’s why I’m changing, but sometimes the 90’s media demons of thinness being best creeps back in 🤷♂️
I feel ya. The decision to add some weight back was pretty - hesitate to use the word traumatic, but after all the effort to lose weight, it was a heavy and very personal decision. A weighty one, if you will. 😝 As I add more muscle, the weight goes up even more.
It’s truly frustrating and counterintuitive to everything I “know” (or thought I knew), because no one I’ve known in my previous life was ever particularly fit.
In fact, it’s flat out scary. What if this is a mistake? Will I regret this? If I relax for a day or a week, will I get fat again? Will I turn into skinny fat? There’s so much noise in my head regarding weight still.
It’s a lot easier to be in the “gotta lose that last few” mode than it is to be there and wondering where the heck to go from here and what happens next. Because something’s always going to happen. You don’t lose this much weight, become this active and the body stay static. Nope.
It’s like an alternate reality sometimes.2 -
springlering62 wrote: »claireychn074 wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »It’s very interesting how our bodies keep changing for years after the main loss.
For me, the muscles still getting bigger, but all the loose skin, and what seems to be the remaining visceral fat, is being squoze into the area between pelvis and bottom ribs. (BTW, I can really see my ribs now. That’s new.) I can’t pull it out as far, but it’s like a water balloon around my waist. No matter how high the high-waist, it merrily pops up, out and over.
It’s become very exaggerated in the past two or three months and I’ve had to learn to live with it.
I was doing stuff in front of the gym mirror yesterday and happened to look at my feet. I had to laugh, because…. tears not allowed in gym, right? I had a little mini water balloon between ankle socks and leggings. WTF!!!! Now that’s just not fair. Even obese, I always had nice trim ankles.
Every time something nutty has happened like this, there’s been a big change. Last time I noticed oddball changes, my ribs went from horizontal to vertical. I’m holding my breath this time for a defined six pack, instead of giant wrinkled dimples where it should be.
I’ll be holding my breath indefinitely, I think. 🤣
The issue I have at the moment is body insecurity. I promised myself I wouldn’t put the weight I lost back on but here I am - gradually going up. Granted most of it is muscle and I have totally changed shape, but in my mind it’s not a good thing. Totally irrational as I’m now training for sport and that’s why I’m changing, but sometimes the 90’s media demons of thinness being best creeps back in 🤷♂️
I feel ya. The decision to add some weight back was pretty - hesitate to use the word traumatic, but after all the effort to lose weight, it was a heavy and very personal decision. A weighty one, if you will. 😝 As I add more muscle, the weight goes up even more.
It’s truly frustrating and counterintuitive to everything I “know” (or thought I knew), because no one I’ve known in my previous life was ever particularly fit.
In fact, it’s flat out scary. What if this is a mistake? Will I regret this? If I relax for a day or a week, will I get fat again? Will I turn into skinny fat? There’s so much noise in my head regarding weight still.
It’s a lot easier to be in the “gotta lose that last few” mode than it is to be there and wondering where the heck to go from here and what happens next. Because something’s always going to happen. You don’t lose this much weight, become this active and the body stay static. Nope.
It’s like an alternate reality sometimes.
That’s pretty much what’s in my head! Glad to know I’m not alone but crikey it’s annoying.
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springlering62 wrote: »It’s very interesting how our bodies keep changing for years after the main loss.
Speaking of realness
, I'd underscore that your body (and some others) keeps changing for years after weight loss because you keep changing it. It's not just time passing, it's work you do.
For me - a much lazier soul about self-improvement - I did see positive visible changes after reaching goal weight, for a couple of years or so. For sure, loose skin shrank. To some extent, residual fat stores rearranged themselves a little. But you've had a lot more dramatic change, based on what you've mentioned here on MFP.
Unlike you, before-during-after loss, I didn't dramatically increase exercise, just mostly kept doing what I'd been doing for over a decade while overweight/obese. (I was quite active, still am, but not even close to you, @springlering62, and not lifting routinely and progressively like you and so many of the other lovely, strong women in this thread.) That - not increasing lifting - is not the ideal course, and not what I'd recommend to others for best results.
If others want those results, the ones you're getting . . . they need to commit to doing the work. Some good things will happen for quite a while after weight loss just from time passing and the body adjusting to staying around goal weight.
But for continuing improvements, continuing work is realistically required.
For me, the muscles still getting bigger, but all the loose skin, and what seems to be the remaining visceral fat, is being squoze into the area between pelvis and bottom ribs. (BTW, I can really see my ribs now. That’s new.) I can’t pull it out as far, but it’s like a water balloon around my waist. No matter how high the high-waist, it merrily pops up, out and over.
It’s become very exaggerated in the past two or three months and I’ve had to learn to live with it.
I was doing stuff in front of the gym mirror yesterday and happened to look at my feet. I had to laugh, because…. tears not allowed in gym, right? I had a little mini water balloon between ankle socks and leggings. WTF!!!! Now that’s just not fair. Even obese, I always had nice trim ankles.
Every time something nutty has happened like this, there’s been a big change. Last time I noticed oddball changes, my ribs went from horizontal to vertical. I’m holding my breath this time for a defined six pack, instead of giant wrinkled dimples where it should be.
I’ll be holding my breath indefinitely, I think. 🤣
Your ribs are vertical? My mental picture is not getting what you're saying here. But I'm curious!
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@AnnPT77 because of obesity, scoliosis, and a tendency to huddle in a tight little cross-legged ball when I sit down and read or do needlework, my ribs splayed out in a wide V.
They’ve now shifted back to “normal” and go almost straight down.
Think of the ribs on an umbrella, forced open to accomodate obesity, and with weight loss, the umbrella closed.
My arms now relax straight down at my sides instead of elbows bent and arms out to the side, resting on ribs, kinda like Jabba. In fact, they’re more like his little friend.
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Here I was thinking your ACTUAL ribs went up and down somehow like a Victorian corset! 🤪 My brain is soooo messed up.3
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You weren't the only one...was trying to visualize (in a non-creepy manner) rib bones twisted 90 degrees to align with the spine.3
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »I can tell at first glance it was the same day.. you were just sticking your stomach out on the second photos. You're in great shape.. all of us could slouch over. or let our stomachs stick out. But, overall. you're in fantastic shape. But i get your point. Photos on social media platforms are touched up .. taken from best angles and lighting ... not real one bit.
Even my own daughter.. whom i think is so beautiful .. looks like a different person and nothing like her real self in the photos she posts. Wheni see them, i think? Who is that? AS if, some other pretty girl is pretendng to be my daughter.
I wasn't pushing out my stomach, I just wasn't sucking it in. That was me just relaxed. I wasn't faking it to look bigger. If anything, the flexed pic is more false. 😔
Since then, I am probably up another ten pounds so it's even more of a difference now.
As I age and my wrinkles start to show, skin care isn't as smooth... It can be very tempting to go the way of filters. I try to avoid them as much as possible, otherwise I end up hating what I see in the mirror.
I'm sorry.. i wasn't thinking you were faking anything.. i thought you were trying to show us how posture and how we stand or sit could make us look larger.
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »
I don't know that I want to SEE progress pics at this point. My before and afters have swapped. 🤪
Though looking back to where I was when I thought I was in my "best shape", I now recognize why some of my friends were getting worried about me.
I just saw the pic you posted of yourself. Why are they worried? You’re an inspiration 👏🏻
I meant that back when I thought I looked my best, my friends were getting worried that I was too thin, but I still saw fat and rolls and wanted to lose another 10lb. I didn't see what they saw.
Now I have a lot more muscle and fat.. Almost 40lb more. But I am pretty sure I prefer this me to that one. (still want to lose 10lb though lol)
Oh okay, the pic I saw of you was the after and I thought, WOW she looks AMAZING! I’m so relieved we’re putting skinny behind us and embracing muscles and curves. You’re killing it.2
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