WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2021
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Tina,
I used to be married to a man like your husband. We both had enough therapy that we learned the problem was that he a passive aggressive personality. Knowing that didn't stop him. He's apparently hardwired that way. I like him so much better since we are divorced. Your post made the hairs on the back of my arms stand up. That behavior is so familiar to me. Ugh.
Heather,
A very Happy Birthday to you, dear lady! I am so very glad you were born; it is something for me to truly celebrate!
JanetR,
Happy Anniversary! I love the photo of you and Callie! It is heart-warming.
Carol,
I hope your eye procedure goes well!
Cheri,
I love those poppies.
Kelly,
Oh shoot! I'm sorry you had to cancel your trip to see your 2+1 grandchildren and their Mama.
Karen in Virginia
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KetoneKaren wrote: »Tina,
I used to be married to a man like your husband. We both had enough therapy that we learned the problem was that he a passive aggressive personality. Knowing that didn't stop him. He's apparently hardwired that way. I like him so much better since we are divorced. Your post made the hairs on the back of my arms stand up. That behavior is so familiar to me. Ugh.
Yes, he is passive aggressive, but won't dare admit it. In any case, I just need to say NO to him more often when I suspect he will flake out and deal with the consequences later. Eventually, he'll get over it.
To his credit, he did rush home and shower quickly and we made the movie. He also bought my nephew a concert T-shirt at the concert we took him too last night and snagged an autographed drum cover they tossed into the crowd and gave it to my nephew. So, he does have that side too. He just tends to disappoint more than I'd like. Maybe I need to work on making it clear that I need a commitment to the event AND that he will be ready on MY schedule.
Tina in CA
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drkatiebug wrote: »
MaLynda, google chair exercises. You may find several that you can do, just to get the blood flowing.
Thank you, I will check some out. They sound like I could do them.0 -
Maylinda there are some good chair exercises you can do to build strength and mobility. Bob and Brad are my favorite, annoying but knowledgeable, sources: https://youtu.be/cYiH0p4hAm4
Thank you! This is helpful0 -
Just wanted to report that I am reading “The Woman in Blue” by Elly Griffiths and she used the word “doughty” to describe one of the policemen. I had never heard it before Terri used it the other day. Now I’ll probably see it everywhere.
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drkatiebug wrote: »Just wanted to report that I am reading “The Woman in Blue” by Elly Griffiths and she used the word “daughty” to describe one of the policemen. I had never heard it before Terri used it the other day. Now I’ll probably see it everywhere.
If you see it everywhere, then it's an example of the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon2 -
Did part of a Slim in 6 DVD then took my walk. First day of work tomorrow so no formal exercise.
Nico – welcome! You and M will have lots in common
Ghostmo – welcome!
Barbara – happy anniversary. I never heard of self-injecting warfarin!!!! Vince’s is a tablet
I had such a bad dream last night that I cried out “HELP”. Then I couldn’t help myself, but I was constantly holding onto Vince. He kept saying “it was just a dream” but I will couldn’t help myself. Fine today.
M – I’m in agreement with you. Many times when someone talks on a mobile their voice cuts in and out.
I didn’t know that Toronto used to be called York! Learn something new every day
janetr – how nice of you to help Chris like that
Cut the weeds and then dyed the sheet again. It’s still gray. Hopefully, this time it’ll be darker. I used two packets of the dye. If it isn’t, it’ll be the way it’ll be, I’m not doing it again. Update: It was darker, but not as dark as the other sheet I have. The only other thing I can think of is that I should use the liquid dye, not the powder that I used. Well, this year I will not do it again.
Store bought cookies: what I used to do is when I’d get a craving for like a sugar cookie (they are one of my downfalls), I’d buy a package (usually about 12 and I certainly don’t need all 12), take one or two out for me, and then give the rest to the cashier for them to put in the break room. Enough for me, then I don’t have the temptation laying around
Looks like we’re pretty well ready for the Halloween party except for most of the last minute things like getting out the coffee pots, filling them to go, putting on table cloths, putting up signs, etc. Maybe now Vince will work on the Christmas in the living room.
Michele NC2 -
Athena update:💖. They visited the pumpkin patch💖
Hope ya enjoyed! Her hair is getting longer! She's such a cutie!
Rebecca
Whidbey
Washington
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Michele - I didn’t know Toronto was ever called York and I lived there for two years.
Rebecca - Athena is looking more like a little girl, she is growing so fast.
I’ve cleaned done some laundry, went shopping again with my daughter and granddaughter. Now I’m just being comfy and lazy In my new chair.
I did buy a little pillow for behind my head and it helps with the progressive issue.
Tracey in Edmonton4 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »Michele - I didn’t know Toronto was ever called York and I lived there for two years.
Rebecca - Athena is looking more like a little girl, she is growing so fast.
I’ve cleaned done some laundry, went shopping again with my daughter and granddaughter. Now I’m just being comfy and lazy In my new chair.
I did buy a little pillow for behind my head and it helps with the progressive issue.
Tracey in Edmonton
She is! Soon in December they'll be moving into their first rental home! My son is tired of apartment living!👍💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Washington3 -
"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: BP, dogs to powerline, practiced WBW, DM, GDLL, SWTD.
Bonus: 10 mins vacuuming, 20 mins misc cleaning, ‘nother load laundry.
Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, livestream church, practice WBW, DM, GDLL, SWTD, SWSY, call Spectrum Mobile to learn how to print statements, call pc guy to schedule tuneup, Silver Linings, T’ai Chi from Friday, text C, fire district: research NFPA, grant NIMS requirements, input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, likewise Lee skills/tasks, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Tequila Little Time, Homesick, Nothing but You, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Do Your Thing, practice dances: All Night, TGIF, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat), One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Te about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Sunday: call S, USE those torture bands/do that SWSY video, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
Reminder: Weekly: Mon=15 mins SWSY. Tues=30 mins line dance at home. Wed=30 mins T’ai Chi & 1 hr pack walk. Thurs=15 mins BB&B. Fri=30 mins T’ai Chi. Sat=1 hr pack walk. Sun=15 mins pilates, yoga or wii balance games.
October
3: Take a small step towards a goal that really matters to you. Hmm. Guess that’s the motivation problem, not sure I care that much about any of those goals? Watched a short video by the atomic habits author, seems to have inspired…
4:Start your day with the most important thing on your to-do list: better stick with morning readings, …begin thy task…
Terri, took a real close look at your habits. Thank you for the inspiration! Worked out I have 12 almost solid daily or weekly habits and 3 I want to work on, 15 grids, just like you. Adding colored pens to today’s shopping list. My graph paper has room for 4 grids across, plenty of space to grow
Machka thanks for the clarification, didn’t realize the Warfarin was a pill and separate from the injections. Not sure I could let Joe inject me either. [shudder] Did / do you have to have frequent blood tests? “…walk into the dead zone to get off the phone” :laugh: I’ve done that!
Pip our dogs shed a lot too, but fortunately it blends in with the spruce needles in the carpet. :laugh:
Janetr glad 3rd time was the charm. Joe and I have been together 37 years, married for 34, my first, his second. Think being friends first, and fairly self sufficient/independent helped. We both knew what we did NOT want in a relationship
Brava for your daughter reaching out to her son in law through her own grief.
Kelly happy to see you posting, sorry your trip was canceled, was looking forward to more pics
Katla ((hugs)) a whole year is a very very long time. ((hugs))
Tina I’m afraid I’m guilty of what your husband does to you. Joe likes to leave 5-10 mins before our agreed target leaving time. I frequently run a little late. We both get stressed, I feel pushed and he feels frustrated and anxious, but we’re both trying to do better.
Heather why does watching the London Marathon make you cry?
Lisa sending good vibes for the new Dr. and Wednesday’s appointments.
Tracey looking forward to pics of your new chair, rug, lights and hooks. So jealous of your Ikea, have never lived near one.
Kay and Barbie, “doughty” and “Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon” what a wide ranging education we get on this thread!
Michele sorry to confuse. Guess when I was having my meltdown I didn’t hear which rx I’d have to self-inject. Did Vince have to have periodic blood tests? I’ve cried out “Help” mid-nightmare many times, so loudly that I woke Joe, no easy task. Then he has to awaken me, also not easy. I shake for a long time afterwards. Remind me what you’re dying the sheet for?
Rebecca Athena Rose is growing up so fast, then looks like such a baby when she’s sleeping.
Phone conversations and hearing. I have to walk away from my laptop and turn off the tv or I will be distracted and drift off instead of really listening. I’m more comfortable with email and texting, can be more precise, but miss the feeling of connectedness that comes from hearing a beloved voice. Heather, I ache for your loss of Ros, I miss my friend Candy’s voice so much.
Joe surprised me with wine, a flowering succulent and a Pioneer Woman magazine but best was the meal we shared. KFC and champagne. We were both happy. Alas, we also ate too much and finished off the bottle
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMODOctober: leaner/stronger/kinder than September.2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
daily: sit with Joe:3, weigh/wii: 3/1/15; steps>7228=7479 vits=2.25, log=3, CI<CO=3, CI<250<CO=2, Tumble=3, Shadow=4, mfp=3, outside=4, up hill=4, clean 10=4.
wkly: Sun:P, Y or W=1 , Mon:SWSY= , Tue:LD= , Wed:TC= , PW=, Thurs: BB&B=, Fri:TC=, Sat:PW=1, rX x4=1.
wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/31:140.2 8/31:140.0 9/30:141.2 10/3: 10/10: 10/17: 10/24: 10/31:
mnthly: board mtg= , grant=, plan=, waist=42.
bonus: AF=2, play= sew=
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Cookies - I think about them occasionally but rarely buy any and I've given up most baking so I don't bake them either.
About the only time I'll have cookies is when we travel somewhere. They're kind of a special travel food.
Chips - I used to eat a bag of them a day! But now, I might have a small bag 3 or 4 times a year. Last time I had a small bag was, I think, Easter.
When I dropped them from my diet in 2015, I went through salt withdrawal but eating pickles and salted cottage cheese got me through. Now I find potato chips too salty and I don't eat much of pickles and salted cottage cheese any more.
Chocolate - I have that just about every day, but not as much as I used to.
Fast Food (like McDonalds, Burger King/Hungry Jacks, etc.) - the last time I ate at a fast food place like that was in 2018 and we had ice cream. The last burger or other meal we had at one of those places was before that some time ... like maybe 2017.
We do eat at Zambreros and Subway as our "fast food" places.
@exermom ... as an employee of BK, did you know that they tried to set up in Australia as Burger King but could not. So they changed the name to Hungry Jacks?
We're trying to eat a more healthy diet with very limited quantities of red meat, fatty and salty foods. The sites that talk about my recently noticed gastric issues suggest "eating a diet rich in whole, natural foods, such as vegetables, fruits, nuts, and whole grains" in smaller quantities throughout the day.
In particular, I am to avoid food with a high salt content. But I'm to also avoid fried, greasy, or spicy foods.
https://www.healthline.com/health/intestinal-metaplasia
https://www.verywellhealth.com/intestinal-metaplasia-4797929
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322056
I will be talking to the specialist next week for further clarification.
Machka in Oz (most southern state in Oz)3 -
Machka thanks for the clarification, didn’t realize the Warfarin was a pill and separate from the injections. Not sure I could let Joe inject me either. [shudder] Did / do you have to have frequent blood tests? “…walk into the dead zone to get off the phone” :laugh: I’ve done that!
Pip our dogs shed a lot too, but fortunately it blends in with the spruce needles in the carpet. :laugh:
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
Yes, I had heaps of blood tests for the year after my DVT, but my INR had settled in that time and my DVT dissipated so they decided I was OK.
In all my vacuuming yesterday I saw a significant sign of spring ... dark fur all along the edge of the carpet and in the corners. Rhody is shedding like mad!
M in Oz2 -
Karen - Can I return that lovely compliment. I feel the same way about you.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Lisa in AR. We were thur your area on our way home from MO a couple of weeks ago and I thot of you. Such a gorgeous area. Thank you for your kind words. Callie had come over to help me go thru closets, shoes etc before we moved, she took home a load of coats, clothes and jewelry and took a picture of herself with her wearing a lot of it. I'll try to post her picture.. She was definitely one to make you smile.
Her husband has shared some of my things with her friends and I smile thru my tears when I see pictures on Facebook with them wearing some of my things.
Janetr OKC7 -
Barbie thanks for starting us off! I thought I had already posted on this thread but maybe not.
Barbara happy anniversary!
Terri I like the tips/intros, thanks! agreed about F! I did say to O I should start recording.
Heather Belated happy birthday! yum for the meal out. I love a good seafood meal out.
Barbara is there anything you can do to make the walks alone more interesting? I used to walk tons and find it so interesting, but now I get bored. I used to be not at all in favour of having ears occupied - I preferred ambient sound - I am not one to listen to music all day at ll!!
So now if I walk a lot I sometimes listen to a podcast or other audio and it can really make the time go by. or phone calls. I've done a fair bit of my activist work on the phone.
Debbie, it's very automnal here too: rainy and cool for many days.
Michèle what a great idea to give away most of the cookies right away.
WELCOME all new people
HELLO TO EVERYONE ELSE
COMMUNICATION STYLES
I'm very comfortable speaking on the phone, for the most part.
email can be great for facts.
I find email not good when there are sensitive subjects, is often source of misunderstanding.
Julie, France2 -
full on last week - I was upset the 1st half of last week with the stuff with F.,
Wednesday big day but went well. Thursday dentist all morning and looooooong boring not useful hospital meeting Thursday afternoon. I was able to see my friend B just afterwards, who I rarely see. It was nice to have a chat and to see his kids again.
Details about seeing BI've been good friends with B for well over 10 years. We only meet up occasionally now and only talk on the phone from time to time, but do talk about very personal things and we know one another's lives pretty well. We used to live just 5 minutes walk from one another and would sometimes jog together, but he has moved about 20 min drive away now.
I hadn't realised but he has been spending all his weekends like Friday to Monday in his work place where he is doing fixer upper work - for months - and maybe Monday evening to Thursday evening he is home with his very young twins and their mom - his SO. And his SO works outside, so they only see one another in the evenings but have to tend to the kids at the same time, so basically they never have any real time with one another. He had been wanting me to see their new place for I guess over a year, no rush. The hospital appointment was just nearby, so I was able to pop by just after. He showed me the place then we went to the nearby coffee place - the whole thing was an hour and then we walked to pick up his twins from daycare, stroll them home, let them play on the slide. I was expecting B's SO's mother to be there - who I met a few weeks ago, and got along well with. But she was at yoga or something and B's SO was just getting home the moment we got back with the kids. She was not happy that he picked up the kids towards the late side, before daycare closes, and really not happy that I was there, though I've met her several times. she didn't even say hello to me, when I said hello. She was clearly irritated. I kind of didn't pay much attention to their fuss between them as I got a message that I was able to - conveniently turn my attention to - B has told me that she is always unhappy with him and always unwelcoming to and about his friends - even his male friends (and we are quite normal people - not alcoholics or mean people, etc.) and I really did not think she would be happy to see me there - though B seemed to want me to come back up for just a moment there. Maybe he was affirming his right to also maintain his friends. (not separately but they or he can also see his friends.Apparently they have mostly only been seeing her friends for some years. Anyway - clearly against her real wish she -after some minutes - asked if I wanted to stay for dinner (I think she was already prepping dinner only for the family - but said she could spread it out)... I declined of course! (and really was ready to go home time-wise). At first she was so clearly stressed kept repeating the same thing that made no sense - that B could walk me to the subway - whereas I had my own wheels that we kept answering. and then she went on about another thing. but after a while she came out of her anger (at me anyway.....and probably suspicion - - ) and smiled warmly bid me goodbye.. I had explained I was at the hospital for skin cancer after appointment (I surely wouldn't have gone into it - had she not been upset) and to kill 2 birds w one stone I was finally able to visit B for the 1st time. I expressed sympathy for her situation - in a half sentence, and mentioned how interesting is her work (which is truly very interesting). I feel sorry for B in that situation but I think he could handle his life better. He had met and got on okay with his SO, who at the time, just over 40 I think, was working on procreating alone with a sperm donor. He ended up being the donor in short, and now he is the dad of 2 very young kids at maybe 53 years old, and -though he is faithful and a somewhat good father- I think he really is not happy with the situation and maybe doesn't feel it's right or the right choice to leave. I think he is going to sell his old place and buy a studio just nearby in which he can work if things go well/better and to which he can move for co-parenting if it doesn't. He is not cheating but he is not straightforward about how he is feeling with her - and he knows he should be mores - so that's what was going on. I took it as couple bickering - which can happen - and didn't give it much thought in regards to me.
Friday there was a work get-together for the 22 people retiring this year or last year. I felt SO TIRED at noisy lunches (both on Wednesday in a normally busy lunchtime, crowded asian restaurant, and on Friday for this work get together). I found it tiring to have to have so much noise an talk at lunch time.
Saturday I went to a school thing where I presented my research in 3 minutes. I spent quite a bit of time preparing it - all morning Saturday and part of Friday morning. Mine went really well. I looked at models on line - and saw that the "winners" of this format have a joke element to start. That is not my style of speaking. I can make jokes with ease, I would thus say more need to pay attention to being rigorous, and organised. So I spent the 1st 30 seconds on a sort of fake story - that became more and more clear that it was fake as it went on - as an illustration to the research I was doing. It worker very well. There were only about 5 of us signed up out of about 20 people present and about 100+ who could have signed up. Had there been a winner I think I would have won!.
So yesterday I mostly vegged out! not admirable - but oh well!
I have not been tracking and exercise has been very modest - though I did a slow pedal on the recumbant as I was finishing practicing the 3 minute talk.
I had no choice but to see F on Wednesday and Friday. Early Wednesday I sent him a mail asking him to refrain from speaking to me aggressively etc, I don't know that he got it before I saw him on Wednesday but he would have seen it by Friday. He was friendly on Wednesday but I know O had spoken to him a bit already by Tuesday. So F was very polite on Friday. The email doesn't seem to have hurt.
wishing you all a good day.
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Hi - the weeks are flying by. Just dipping in quickly to mark October. I'm going to meet a few friends for coffee this morning so better get a wiggle on.
Heather wishing you a happy birthday
Pip welcome home.
Best wishes and love to all
Viv
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Morning ladies
Woke up around 3 am ,will try and get back to sleep,thinking of my dad today he would be celebrating his 93rd birthday... but im sure he is celebrating with my mom up in heaven..5 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »B has told me that she is always unhappy with him and always unwelcoming to and about his friends
I've heard that line before!
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[/quote]
If you see it everywhere, then it's an example of the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon[/quote]
Barbie- Had to look that up! This happens to me with the numbers 911. Ever since the events of 9/11, it seems that those are the numbers I see on clocks, in random number sequences. INteresting!
Janet R- Baby #3 is a boy! So, my daughter is in a sea of rough and tumble boys (this includes her hubby.)
ttfn xoxoxo KJ4 -
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