Less Alcohol ~ NOVEMBER 2021 ~ One Day At A Time

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  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,557 Member
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    Xellercin wrote: »

    This is a big part of why I never returned to drinking after taking my 90 day break. After awhile, not drinking didn't require me to use any will power.

    I knew if I started again, I would have to go back to thinking about whether ot not I would drink any given day and utilize willpower not to.

    I have a sobriety app that I log in every day quickly, I don't need it, but I like it because it keeps track of my sobriety milestones.

    But for it I wrote a list of the reasons I don't drink and it shows me that list every morning, although I haven't actually read it in forever.

    But on that list is "I'm fed up with thinking about alcohol every day"

    ETA: note, I'm not preaching that anyone who wants to moderate should quit, I'm just reminiscing about how challenging I found it to have to use willpower ever day I wanted to not drink.

    It's been a long time so I forget, but the quoted post brought back vividly those "happy hour" struggles when I was trying to cut back.

    @Xellercin I really enjoy your posts. Your strong convictions and truths as to why you no longer drink are a clear reminder to me as to why I have cut back dramatically to less alcohol.
    You do not come across at all as preaching.
    I commend you for the road you took and where it has placed you at today.
  • Lilylady3k
    Lilylady3k Posts: 3,814 Member
    edited November 2021
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    @MissMay - ((HUGS)) Thinking of you as you try to pull back from enabling your husband. If I remember right he is not allowed to drive (no drivers license). It will be a tough step but hopefully the two of you can talk and work through it.

    Enabling ... interesting point of view. I think you used the word once when I too was talking about drinking with my DH so that he would not polish off the whole bottle. I found that if I drank 2 glasses of the bottle that sometimes it just pushed him to open a second bottle. So while I did enjoy my wine it did not help reduce his consumption for the evening. And me drinking every time he opened a bottle of wine did not help me with my own personal goals. It is a work in progress and I'm doing better (sometimes :) )

    I googled "enabling vs helping an alcoholic" and a few other like "is drinking with an alcoholic enabling" and found some great advice on line!
    I like this point and it resonates with what you said above "LOOK AFTER YOURSELF: There may be very little you can do to help the alcoholic until he or she is ready to get help, but you can stop letting someone’s drinking problem dominate your thoughts and your life. It’s okay to make choices that are good for your own physical and mental health."
    https://sscouncil.org/2019/12/10-things-to-stop-doing-if-you-love-an-alcoholic/
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,557 Member
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    *Attitude ( not double d's)
  • Womona
    Womona Posts: 1,614 Member
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    MissMay wrote: »
    As always, my biggest deterrent to having less alcohol in my life is my husband. I am now going to approach his drinking problem with an "I don't give a **** additude". Being an enabler was never a thought I labeled myself. Until I heard it used on a TV program the other evening.

    I am now aware I drive him to get his booze, drive him to his happy hours and home from his happy hours, try to pull him out of situations that could cause him grief when he has had to much to drink(covering). Things like this.

    Then I get the heavy hand that I'm no fun. My non-alcoholic drinks cost more than something alcoholic, and I should relax more and chill.

    Hmmmmmmmmmm? 🤔

    Wow. That is really, really a brilliant analysis of the situation. It also very empowering, which is so exciting! It’s so simple, but not easy. We’re here for you as you transition out of being the enabler. Hopefully it leads to your husband coming around on stopping or curbing drinking. Even if it doesn’t, you’ll no longer be the one to lead him to where you don’t want him to go.
  • Lilylady3k
    Lilylady3k Posts: 3,814 Member
    edited November 2021
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    Testing out the changes. I saw mentioned that they are no longer supporting BBCodes. I was using color to highlight when I broke my own rules on # drinks in a day. No more color. No more bold or italics. No more hiding some of the history in spoilers to make the current messages more visible.

    Looks like copy and paste spaces out my lines because it is using new paragraph. hmmmm

    NOT A FAN!


    November accountability: 5/30 days AF

    Alcohol: 5 days (12 drinks)

    [i]Goal: Limit 1-2 glasses per day; 12-16 AF days per month. Aim to drink no more than 2 nights in a row.[/i]


    11/01 - [color=red] 3 wine [/color]

    11/02 - AF

    11/03 - 2 wine

    11/04 - 2 wine

    11/05 - [color=red] 3 wine [/color]

    11/06 - AF

    11/07 - 2 wine

    11/08 - AF

    11/09 - AF

    11/10 - AF

    [spoiler]

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    [/spoiler]

  • Lilylady3k
    Lilylady3k Posts: 3,814 Member
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    DH went to happy hour with clients. My sister stopped by to drop something off so we ended up going out as well. 1 Torchy's Tini :)

    After I returned home I walked the dog once more before DH returned.

  • dawnbgethealthy
    dawnbgethealthy Posts: 7,602 Member
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    I ended with 16AF days for October. My ongoing goal is 16-20 AF days.

    November 28th 2018 was when I started on this thread. My late Dad's birthday.

    I have learned to drink less over the past 3 years, although it was very tough at first weaning myself off of being a daily drinker.

    Diary style is how I roll and keep track.

    Wednesday November 10 - 2 3/4 drinks (I had a 3/4 one in the freezer). Almost too much, my "sweet spot" has changed I think from 3 to 2 1/2. No plans for my next drink day until I get my schedule Saturday night.

    Thursday November 11 - AF- long work day tomorrow

    Rolling total: 9AF days out of 11 days.

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