is this abuse? I think it is!

twinketta
twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
There is a program about to start in the UK about a guy called Ricky who weighed 896lbs at 39 years old.

Sadly he died, I have not watched the program, but I have read and watched TV of similar situations.

Surely, the people that do not seek help for the person concerned is abusing.

What is your opinion?
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Replies

  • VeganLexi
    VeganLexi Posts: 960 Member
    I'm watching Rhod Gilbert...

    I'm guessing probably yes though.
  • tigerblood78
    tigerblood78 Posts: 416 Member
    I don't think you're gonna make a 900 lb man do a damn thing he doesn't want to do
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  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    possibly at a certain point when mobility become limited you wonder
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    So you're blaming other for his death? That's BS!

    Who is feeding him and cleaning up after him? Surely he reached a point where he could not do it for himself?
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  • TitaniaEcks
    TitaniaEcks Posts: 351 Member
    I don't think you're gonna make a 900 lb man do a damn thing he doesn't want to do
    Yes but no. If his relatives really cared about him they would have dogged him to seek help. Sadly I see a lot of family and friends enable super-obese people because they think it's unkind or rude to encourage them to lose weight.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    So you're blaming other for his death? That's BS!

    Who is feeding him and cleaning up after him? Surely he reached a point where he could not do it for himself?

    When things got to that point IMO he had an enabler...not an abuser.
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  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    So you're blaming other for his death? That's BS!

    Who is feeding him and cleaning up after him? Surely he reached a point where he could not do it for himself?

    You can bet he couldnt perform basic ADL without assistance. It's a shame he didnt get the addictive counseling and therapy he needed before it was too late.
  • TitaniaEcks
    TitaniaEcks Posts: 351 Member
    So I should sue McDonald's for my extra weight? Surely they should say "Max, you don't need that Big Mac"

    Right?
    McDonald's doesn't care because it's only there to make money off you. The role of family and friends should be the opposite of that.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    Folks, its called free will. Look it up. You can't force the man into therapy. Yuu can't withhold food. He made his choices. He died with them.

    If you eat yourself into being bed and can not make choices in a rational way, then is it free will or are you medically/psychologically impaired?
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    So I should sue McDonald's for my extra weight? Surely they should say "Max, you don't need that Big Mac"

    Right?

    Sue coke or pepsi I think you could find more evidence for HFCS increasing our waists then McDonalds
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    Its not abuse, its enabling but he allowed himself to get to that point, we all have choices
  • Southern_Belle_LA
    Southern_Belle_LA Posts: 931 Member
    So I should sue McDonald's for my extra weight? Surely they should say "Max, you don't need that Big Mac"

    Right?

    ^This! and it was attempted and failed and a law was passed to prevent people from suing them for getting fat!
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Unless he was being force fed, or is mentally unable to make his own choices, HE is the one who decided what or what not to put in his mouth.
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  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
    It's almost like dealing with an addict. He was addicted to food. But I have experienced addicts in my life alcohol and drugs. And as a family we would speak to them about seeking help. But change only happens, when they are ready to change. And if my family member died from a drug overdose, it wouldn't be my fault. Because I tried. It's called accountability.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    So I should sue McDonald's for my extra weight? Surely they should say "Max, you don't need that Big Mac"

    Right?

    ^This! and it was attempted and failed and a law was passed to prevent people from suing them for getting fat!

    Present this law to me please?
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Folks, its called free will. Look it up. You can't force the man into therapy. Yuu can't withhold food. He made his choices. He died with them.

    If you eat yourself into being bed and can not make choices in a rational way, then is it free will or are you medically/psychologically impaired?


    It's still free will, even if some people consider that his choices were wrong, it's still HIS DECISION.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    Its not abuse, its enabling but he allowed himself to get to that point, we all have choices

    OK we will call it `enabling`

    If you had a daughter or son or other family member that got to that stage would you `enable`?

    Would you seek help from a medically qualified person?
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I don't think you're gonna make a 900 lb man do a damn thing he doesn't want to do
    Exactly.
  • Southern_Belle_LA
    Southern_Belle_LA Posts: 931 Member
    So I should sue McDonald's for my extra weight? Surely they should say "Max, you don't need that Big Mac"

    Right?

    ^This! and it was attempted and failed and a law was passed to prevent people from suing them for getting fat!

    Present this law to me please?

    Pelman v. McDonald's Corp. is the lawsuit that started it and you can look up "Cheeseburger Bill" passed Oct. 19, 2005
  • DesDawn24
    DesDawn24 Posts: 147 Member
    He's a grown man, not a child. He made his choices. You can encourage people and push them and support them all you want, but in the end the choice is theirs. We would never say it was abuse if someone was smoking and no one intervened, even though that can slowly kill you as well. I think that to call this abuse would open up the floodgates and allow people to wrongly place the blame on others for choices that they've made.
  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member


    OK we will call it `enabling`

    If you had a daughter or son or other family member that got to that stage would you `enable`?

    Would you seek help from a medically qualified person?

    A child under the age of 18, yes I would step in. A grown *kitten* man, who makes up his own mind. No. I could speak to him, make suggestions, but ultimately it's his choice.
  • VeganLexi
    VeganLexi Posts: 960 Member
    It depends on how early this all started...
  • Victory_or_Death
    Victory_or_Death Posts: 21 Member
    We all have our own karma.
  • Melo1966
    Melo1966 Posts: 881 Member
    It's almost like dealing with an addict. He was addicted to food. But I have experienced addicts in my life alcohol and drugs. And as a family we would speak to them about seeking help. But change only happens, when they are ready to change. And if my family member died from a drug overdose, it wouldn't be my fault. Because I tried. It's called accountability.

    Right. So if you were buying and giving him the drugs and cleaned him because he could not clean himself due to being to out of it would you then be partially at fault?
  • Sarahndipity30
    Sarahndipity30 Posts: 312 Member
    coming from someone who has worked in the medical field, you cannot FORCE help on a mentally able human being. if they are aware of their choices and decisions and refuse help, that is their decision. no medical person will force themselves upon someone like that, it is called liability.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I think those of us who consider it a form of enabling are look at it from the perspective of you have a 900lb man, who I assume is bed bound, he is clearly suffering a severe addiction and most likely was not physically able to get his fix without help.

    Someone bought, at 900lbs he wasnt working, and prepared his food and brought it to him.

    Someone continued to hand him a loaded gun until his addiction finally succeeded in winning his life.