Tips for maintaining a positive mindset?

emgracewrites

How do you change your mindset when you’re having a really bad day? I feel like I’m so far behind in work, chores around the house, creative pursuits… everything. And despite eating like crap the past week, the scale still says I’ve lost weight when I’m trying desperately to gain.

I want to try and reset my mind but I don’t know how and I just feel so overwhelmed right now.

bojaantje3822

I have a really weird answer that works for me but might make things worse for others. When I am having a really bad day, I think of stuff I have to do that I hate and will put me in a bad mood that I've been putting off for a while because I didn't want to ruin my day with it. And then do it. All the stressful, scary, annoying things on my to-do-someday list I do when I already feel stressed and the cortisol is gonna stay with me for a while anyway. And it helps me feel good about finally getting it off my to-do list and the adrenaline rush I get from so much crap in one day, it kinda works to lift my mood.

Other than this solution, exercise helps me. Specifically really challenging (either heavy/hard on the body or technically complex) stuff. My mind just goes blank and afterwards there's no space for bad feelings.

Now the combination of these two solutions, in the order written, that really helps.

I hope you can find something that works for you. Maybe this is not it but there has to be something

Chef_Barbell

I drink :drinker: 🤷‍♀️

AnnPT77

This may be a little too out there for you, but I try to remind myself that behavior counts more than mindset. Yes, attitude and thoughts influence behavior, but the reverse is also true: If I can change behavior, thoughts may follow.

I tell myself I need to do something about the things I know need to be done, just some small step/action. It doesn't have to be the most important thing (because trying to figure that out increases the overwhelmed feeling, causes "analysis paralysis"). It can be any affirmative or useful thing - the easiest one.

Sometimes that works, and helps break the logjam.

Decoy152

I usually break a bad or negative mindset by physically executing on a positive action. If I am scattered, I forget all but one step of one task and execute on it. If I am not feeling motivated, I go for a walk or exersize. If I am eating poorly, I prepare tomorrow's meals today. And so on. Initially it feels like swimming through molasses but before I know it, my mindset improves.

Xellercin

Well, there's a difference between having a negative mindset and having unpleasant emotions in response to legitimately negative experiences.

If you've had a legitimately awful day, you just need to have those unpleasant emotional reactions for awhile. Having those feelings isn't a problem to solve. They're just something to recognize, respect, and move through.

Learning to be okay with your feelings sometimes feeling awful is a huge part of being able to cope with life, and absolutely critical for maintaining a positive attitude.

I'm generally an extremely positive person because I learned to make space for awful emotions and not react to them as a problem to solve.

If they're rational and proportional, then they're normal and allowed to be there.

Being positive doesn't mean always feeling good and always being happy. It means always being able to experience the legitimate joys and positives in life and not perceiving life as worse than it is.

If you have a legitimately positive attitude then when things feel awful, the instinct isn't to push away the awful feelings, it's to understand the source and proactively start improving the circumstances that caused the suffering in the first place.

So because I'm a very positive person, if my job is making me miserable, I don't push myself to be positive about my legitimately awful job, I start considering different job options.

I'm able to deal with negative feelings because I know that when push comes to shove, if something is really bad, I'll take the necessary steps to make my life better.

So if your day was decent, and you feel miserable, then you may need to work on your attitude. But if your day was legitimately brutal and you feel awful, then positivity in the absence of proactivity can actually be toxic, and just keeps you in a bad situation longer.

IAmTheGlue

Rituals of life are soothing.

Make your bed. Fluff up your pillows. Fold and put away a load of laundry. Push your chairs in neatly around the table. Load your dishwasher. Mop your floor. Restore order.

I’m serious. Do the rituals of an ordinary, boring life… but with intention, looking for the calm they bring.

It works for me. One foot in front of the other.

And then if you are still stressed out, you will be stressed out in a clean space.

Sage your home.

SafariGalNYC

I think in many ways we are told to “be positive” at all costs.. except that ignores the root causes of why we are feeling the way we are feeling.

I left MFP for awhile over toxic positivity .. I finally realized - it’s not about positivity for me .. it’s about not feeling despair over things I can’t control.
(Also - examine why I make choices with things I can control)

It helps me to meditate a bit, breathe .. but mostly the things that are causing me stress are still there after I take a break.. so I had to fix a lot of my stuff.

Work - task list with priorities. Friends and family - set boundaries. Be clear with how you are feeling and what you need to do to take care of you.

That’s what helped me.

Hope you find some respite.

avatiach

These are some great ideas, some of them I have never tried before and will try.

For myself, some things that sometimes work for me: take time for myself—sometimes that means a walk or swim, or reading an escapist book (fantasy, romance, mystery), watching something silly on tv…

They don’t always work, which is why I might try these other things!