WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2022

barbiecat
barbiecat Posts: 17,251 Member
in Motivation and Support
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:) A new season is always a good time to make a fresh commitment to important goals and resolutions. I am delighted to continue my journey to a life of health and fitness both physical emotional.

:) The name of the thread is Women Ages 50+ but all women are welcome. This is a great place to visit regularly for support and encouragement.

:) Be sure to bookmark the thread so you can find it again. Also sign your post with a name or nickname and a location so we can get to know each other better.

:) I look forward to this new month and this new season.

<3 Barbie from NW WA

The secret to living well and long is: Eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure..." Tibetan proverb

"The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials."---Lin Yutang
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Replies

  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,833 Member
    Barbie ... Thank you for the new thread!

    Beth near Buffalo
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,356 Member
    43
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,702 Member
    Barbie - thanks for the September thread! Can't believe we're in a new month already!

    Lanette <3
    SW WA State
  • okiewoman510
    okiewoman510 Posts: 1,319 Member
    Thanks Barbie! We appreciate you.

    Okie in the TX Hill Country
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,556 Member
    Today worked and when I went to take Jerry home he had a soda (was it really soda?) in his hand so I told him no more drinks in my car, he has a choice, he can throw it out or have someone else drive him home. He threw the drink on the ground saying “see, it was just Coke”. I just said “I won’t take the chance”. I kept reiterating that all the way to his house. He said “now what am I going to drink” so I told him I would take him to the Corner Table, they wouldn’t deny him. He didn’t want to go (is it pride or is he afraid of seeing his wife? Who knows? Who cares?) Really, don’t tell me one soda (maybe 32oz) would be enough for the entire day. Now that I think about it, I can’t help wondering if there was something about that soda. Well, that's the suspicious part of me coming out. Then went to WalMart, then cut the “grass”

    Had ceramics last night. Started working on the pelican for this lady at the condo. I’m not sure if I’ll go tonight since we can’t go next week. I do want to take Jess’ snail with me and hopefully start on that. I’ll leave my fish there and if I have to take it home before they move, that’s OK.

    Lisa – I didn’t know that about lizards!

    Carla – sweet Kolten

    Flea – you know, shortly before my father passed, he was bedbound and it was hard for him because he was so sharp, nothing wrong with his mind, but his body just wouldn’t do what he wanted it to do. Sometimes you wonder if someone having dementia isn’t better off. Yet…..

    Karen VA – what a blessing you are to your brother

    Heather – I’ve always thought the Mediterranean would be nice. Now I’ll get to experience it thru you.

    Melanie – welcome!

    Lanette – my MIL did that when she sold her house in FL and moved to the condo. Much less work.

    Katla – how wonderful you got to talk to your friend in Oregon. I can just imagine how happy you are.

    Rebecca – what beautiful singing! She gets it from you, I’m sure

    Meg – oh, yes, still doing the ceramics!

    barbie – I hope all goes well for you at the appointment

    Anne DE – so glad for your mom (and you) that her MD visit went so well. Good for you having a night with your friend!

    Michele NC
    who better get to dinner
  • Poerava14
    Poerava14 Posts: 1,098 Member
    Thank you, Barbie! Great start to this new month.
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Barbie — Thank you for the new thread. I am delighted to begin our September conversations. I look forward to hearing from our friends.
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,145 Member
    Barbie- Thank you again our fearless leader for starting us off on another month..
    Tomorrow I start my journey with medicare and the supplement.. wish me luck.
  • suebdew
    suebdew Posts: 1,298 Member
    Thank you Barbie I hope your eye appointment goes well.
    Rain all around us but none for our yard. Uggggg
    SueBDew in TX
  • linder4866
    linder4866 Posts: 11,453 Member
    ❤️🙋🏼‍♀️❤️
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,833 Member
    Karen … I love the Poppies! And so glad your downsizing and donating is going so well.

    Beth
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Thanks, Beth! I'll tell my brother.

    Allie, I can imagine myself doing just that in this house when it's empty...we have loved living in this well-designed-house-with-a-view. I am glad we will very likely leave it while we have the luxury of indulging in a bittersweet goodbye. My dear friends had to move out of their lovely home urgently due to a number of misfortunes; there were many regrets, tears, and lingering residual sorrows over some of the things they would have liked to have kept, & the lack of closure. I would hate that. I hated it for them.

    Karen in Virginia
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,708 Member
    Hi Gals,
    Barbie - thank you for keeping us going as a group so often this is the lifeline we each need.

    Finally I have found a trust lawyer who at least knew what I was talking about on the phone. One of the things we who live in the USA should be aware of is that there are some “interesting” newish laws and taxes (about 15-20 years new) about leaving money to grandchildren or great grandchildren if their parents are still alive. It is called generation skipping and depending on the size of the estate it is either no big deal, or it is a huge deal. If it affects you PM me and I’ll give you more details. Or I can put it in group if there is a lot of interest.
    Mom and I will meet this lawyer in a few weeks, I am just hoping there is a connection, because I am running out of choices. Many of the lawyers are still meeting over zoom, and my Mom will not accept that as an option.

    Karen – your brother is so talented I am glad he is selling some of his art, it is too beautiful to not be shared with the world.


    Smiles Kim
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,071 Member
    <3
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,356 Member
    42
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited September 2022
    Barbie— Thank you for September. I appreciate the gift of each new month. I am grateful for the wonderful women here. <3

    Katla
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    💞 Barbie thanks for taking such good care of us 💞I was going through my storage containers and memorabilia that I have saved over the years and I found the letters that you sent to me when I was taking a break from here due to my chronic Lyme's and I am so grateful for your kindness to me and all of the ladies on here 💞 you are amazing 💞

    💞 Mary from Arizona/ Minnesota

  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,786 Member
    Thank you, Barbie. <3 Your constant presence is our lodestar.

    Karen - Is your brother up to approaching a greetings card company? Or even producing his own and marketing them? Even in a small way? My feeling is, he is not up to that and I would not want you to take on another burden. They are perfect for that market and I would buy them if I saw them in the card rack at my local shop! :D

    At last, a day to myself. I have a newspaper article to finish. :o

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • wizzywig
    wizzywig Posts: 1,246 Member
    Thanks Barbie for the new month. I've finally caught up with August, now on to September :)

    I've booked a hair appointment for Saturday, I'm hoping the weather will be fine as there are some gardens near the hairdresser that has a kiosk that sells beverages and home made cakes. I've asked mum if she would like to go for a coffee. She's not been in the best of health the last few months so it will do her good to get out of the house.

    Tracey I love the dragon, I prefer them with a bit of colour.

    Better move, I haven't done my exercises yet, I've been getting fit with Rick :D

    Love to all
    Viv <3
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    edited September 2022
    Tracey, My son did watch/help when his in-laws downsized, so he has an inkling of what is involved. But you're right, he probably won't ever know what I spared him from, if I do this right. It's a natural consequence of me taking responsibility for the disposition of my/our belongings and getting my affairs in order.

    Heather,. My brother Gary did have some notecards made many years ago; he had worked for an advertising agency for many years so had knowledge about magazines, brochures, business cards, etc. They were lovely. I'll mention it to him. There is a small business here called Gracie's Cottage that carries an eclectic mix of vintage items, cottage chic, local art, etc. I'm sure he could market them there. I don't know if he'd be up for anything else now, but it's an idea for the future. I hope once we get him into his own apartment, he will have time to heal from the last 7 years of being in group homes. I feel so bad for him. I have to be careful not to spook him. Baby steps.

    Rebecca, First, I want to echo what the others have said about being privileged to see that darling Athena grow up. She is a delightful child and I look forward to the photos and updates.
    Second, my heart is with you as you support your sister get through the loss of her husband. It sounds as if his celebration of life is going to be amazing. It's so heartwarming to hear of the enthusiastic RSVP response - it speaks volumes about him.

    Kim, I am very interested in a group discussion about generation skipping, and anything else you would be willing to share about estate planning. I need to get that all done, update wills, etc., and it intimidates me a bit. It seems to me that many attorneys aren't adept at explanations that a person can understand (and retain). I figure if a professional really understands something, he/she should be able to customize the explanation for a specific client.

    Kelly, I know you are so busy! I'm looking forward to seeing photo updates of your precious grandchildren.

    ___

    Today, my housekeeper and I are going to tackle the storage unit. I hope we can get it empty. If not, my granddaughter has offered to help me over Labor Day weekend.

    ___

    Karen in Virginia
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,688 Member
    From a couple years ago ... might be appropriate for several of us ...
    Make things easier on yourselves by ...

    -- making sure all affairs are in order. 2 names on all accounts, enduring power of attorney, bills, wills, taxes, paperwork, whatever it takes. Make sure you both know everything about your accounts, bills, etc. etc. etc. of all sorts. Make sure everything is up to date and crystal clear. It's easy to say, "I'll remember my password" or "We'll sort that out later" ...
    http://ssandifer.com/MyLoveList2015.pdf... all about organising estates, etc. ... very good information although you will have to check what's what in your particular area.

    Also, from a USA perspective:https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/getting-your-affairs-order

    And from an Australian perspective:https://www.agedcare101.com.au/aged-care/get-set/“putting-your-affairs-order” and https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/life-events-and-you/life-events/money-musts-before-you-die and https://yourlifeassist.com.au/information-assistance/put-your-affairs-in-order/


    -- making sure you're fit and healthy. Being fit and healthy improves the odds. Also could you actually support and lower your partner to the ground, should he/she collapse? Do you know first aid?


    -- making sure your house well set up. Are there stairs? Tight corners? Difficult showers?


    -- having a look at options around you. What would you do for groceries? What if you couldn't drive? If you have never used public transportation, try it now while you're still able. What about things like doctor's offices? Hospitals? All the stuff you use? Is it scattered around and difficult to get to or quite convenient?


    --making sure you've got resources. Do you have people who can offer assistance? Knowledge of who to call if you've got problems with the house? Do you know about services in your area which can help?


    -- creating an Emergency Management Plan for fires, floods, and health issues.
    https://www.redcross.org.au/prepare


    -- starting to downsize. Distribute the family treasures (unless you're using them, of course). Scan then shred paperwork. Reduce things you don't really need. If you were to make the move into a smaller apartment in a senior's complex, would it be a huge undertaking or would it be a fairly smooth transition.
    https://dallas.momcollective.com/most-of-your-stuff-is-worthless-3-things-you-should-be-doing-now-to-reduce-what-you-own

    Machka in Oz
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    <3
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,688 Member
    edited September 2022
    OregonMother wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    My Brother had to take my Mom’s car away from her when she first started showing signs of Alzheimer’s. It started out that she was driving to town 8-10 times a day and couldn’t afford it. At one point she called me because her car wouldn’t start and my brother (a mechanic) was too busy to look at it. When I called him to ask about it he told me she had ran it out of gas and luckily it was in the driveway. He did put gas in it, but she was soon getting lost and not knowing her way home. It was 7 miles outside of town through 4 miles of woods. He unhooked a wire so that she thought the car wasn’t working again. He sold it shortly after that. She was upset, and I think the loneliness exacerbated the Alzheimer’s, but it was for her safety.

    Tracey in Edmonton

    My grandfather also developed dementia, starting in his 70s if I recall correctly.

    I remember that one of his early symptoms was repeating himself frequently, and it seems that is quite common in people with dementia.
    https://www.scie.org.uk/dementia/living-with-dementia/difficult-situations/repetition.asp

    But at some point along the way, he had to give up driving too. I don't remember how easy/difficult the process of giving up driving was for him, but I do remember that my grandmother had to learn to drive in her 60s!!!

    My husband can no longer drive either but, as I mentioned, he gets around on foot or by bus which is good. And I try to take him places most weekends. I know that being social is important for him so despite the fact that I'd rather stay in bed most weekends and not go anywhere or deal with anything, we do get out and about.

    I had to relearn to drive.

    Katla, I've been glad to see that your daughter is taking you out now and then. Hopefully when your husband gets a bit better he might be able to go out for walks with you or to help you with other transportation as Kim mentions below ...
    GodMomKim wrote: »
    Katla – my heart goes out to you. Please work with your daughter or staff at the assisted living community to find/learn about the other transportation options in the area you are. Maybe the assisted living community has a shuttle bus that can take you to the store, hairdresser etc… or you could learn how to use the Lyft or Uber app on your phone. I am guessing that the issue for you is less the physical car, but more the freedom to go when and where you want. And other transportation might help.

    Machka in Oz

    Yes. I believe repeating things, as if it is new information is a warning sign. At least, for me, after two or three times, never mind dozens of times, I figure something has gone wrong. And I am heartbroken.

    We were lucky, I guess, that with all of my mom's mobility issues, completely bedridden now, can't even sit in a wheelchair, her mind is sharp. She realized on her own a few years ago that she was not safe to drive. My niece sold my mom's car a few months ago because my mom was tired of paying for insurance on it.

    I think it's harder for people with dementia because apparently they can't see what is happening, or don't remember why things are happening. I assume that was the case with my coworker's dad who, upon finding his car missing, had a rental brought to him.

    As a family member, trying to negotiate dementia must be so difficult, because you end up being the villain by just trying to enforce safety measures.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley OR


    Same with brain injury ... the brain doesn't know that it doesn't know. It's known as "lack of insight" or "anosognosia".

    https://www.health.qld.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0037/388576/insight_aware_fsw.pdf
    https://www.headway.org.uk/media/4091/lack-of-insight-after-brain-injury-factsheet.pdf

    https://www.dementiacarers.ca/when-the-person-with-dementia-doesnt-know-they-have-limitations-anosognosia/
    https://www.agingcare.com/articles/anosognosia-dementia-patients-cant-recognize-impairment-210090.htm


    For example, my husband ...
    ... can list all the physical aspects of his brain injury but is mostly unaware of his cognitive issues.

    Interestingly, I know his physical and cognitive issues and how to compensate ... so the results of his assessments can come as a little bit of a surprise to me too.


    Machka in Oz

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