Being disciplined is so hard
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ErkeayimImashova
Posts: 1 Member
I do good with my diet for maybe a day or two and then suddenly I just can't hold back and have a bunch of small snacks that quickly add up and suddenly I'm 200+ over my calorie goal, any tips would be appreciated 🤧
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Answers
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My first recommendation would be to get rid of any such temptations, if at all possible.
Second recommendation is to keep a journal for a couple weeks to see if there’s a pattern. Are you nibbling because you’re bored? Or stressed?
Start there. Include what you’re eating, what time of day, and what’s happening in your life at that moment. See what you can discover.
Others might have some advice about more filling dietary options, and maybe ask to some details about your exercise routine and protein intake. There may be some clues there, but it’s not my area of expertise.1 -
Hi there, and first of all, don't fret and give up because of this. This has happened to most of us. I get frequent rants about snacks and late night snacking from my fitpals. Since you haven't added any other info about your diet, here are some strategies that have been used by myself or my friends:
1) You might be undereating calories or trying too many "diet" foods. Your diet plan needs to be sustainable. It should contain food that you find tasty, otherwise it won't satiate.
2) You may not be eating foods that are filling. Too many soups, smoothies and such can leave you feeling more hungry. Cheese and nuts, or lean meat, can make you feel full for longer.
3) Your main meals might be too small. Main meals that are too large can be a problem but meals that are too small will send you to the fridge or pantry to look for more food. Remember that snacks are just supposed to help you refuel until the next meal.
I hope this helps, keep going and don't fret. Good luck 👍3 -
I'm also wondering if you've cut calories too far to be sustainable, or restricted more of your favorite foods than is really necessary.
But what I really want to do is talk about calorie math.
You say you end up maybe 200 or so calories over goal. If you have yourself set up to lose a pound a week, your goal is 500 calories less than the number MFP thinks it would take for you to maintain your current weight.
In that scenario, if you eat 200 calories over your goal one day, you've delayed reaching your goal weight by about nine and a half hours vs. if you'd eaten right at goal. You'd still expect to lose fat that day, just a bit less of it than if you'd eaten right at goal.
To me, that's not worth a lot of angst or self-recrimination. (Those things don't burn any extra calories, and they feel icky, so why go there?)
If you're set up to lose faster, the impact is even less. Even if you're at the slowest rate, half a pound a week, you're still only delaying reaching goal weight by one day.
I get that you don't want that delay. I'd recommend an unemotional problem-solving approach here: What is triggering the snack-y eating?
Look at the patterns. You could be over-depriving yourself (trying to lose unsustainably fast or eating all "diet foods"). You could need to tune up your food choices to be more filling. How's your sleep quality/quantity? (Fatigue triggers appetite.) Are certain social situations triggering the eating? Boredom? Emotional self-soothing? Sub-par nutrition? Too-intense exercise? Stress?
Try to figure out the root cause, and address the issue by tweaking your plan to be more sustainable.
I have a personal bias: Being more disciplined, motivated, full of will power, etc. . . . is not mostly a solution. (I stink at all those things, and lost weight anyway.
) Think about how to revise your plan to make it easier, i.e., require less discipline, motivation, will power.
If a person has a meaningful total amount of weight to lose, realistically it's going to take many weeks, months, maybe even a small number of years (if severely overweight). That puts a premium on finding relatively easy new habits that can become one's new daily routine without much struggle.
On top of that, if someone has a tendency toward overweight (like me!), weight management is not a quick project with an end date, after which things go back to normal. That's the formula for yo-yo regain, one of the unhealthiest options.
Personally, I want to stay at a healthy weight long term. I can't stay disciplined or motivated for the whole rest of my life. That makes weight management a forever endeavor. To me, since I stink at discipline, etc., that means the main strategy needs to be finding new habits I can do pretty happily nearly on autopilot when other parts of life get demanding (because they will).
FWIW, I've been maintaining a healthy weight for nearly 8 years now, after just under a year of weight loss, and around 30 previous years of overweight/obesity. YMMV, but that philosophy has worked out reasonably well for me . . . so far.
I'm cheering for you to succeed at this: The results are worth the effort!4 -
ErkeayimImashova wrote: »I do good with my diet for maybe a day or two and then suddenly I just can't hold back and have a bunch of small snacks that quickly add up and suddenly I'm 200+ over my calorie goal, any tips would be appreciated 🤧
Whenever I hear something like this I wonder if the calorie goal is too low. Here are some indicators that might be the case for you:
https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/
That said, also see Ann's post above about whether 200 calories really matters in the long run. It might have more of a mental detrimental affect than a succeed at weight loss goal affect.1 -
Being disciplined is so hard ---> Most things worthwhile are hard. Keep grinding, good luck.0
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kshama2001 wrote: »ErkeayimImashova wrote: »I do good with my diet for maybe a day or two and then suddenly I just can't hold back and have a bunch of small snacks that quickly add up and suddenly I'm 200+ over my calorie goal, any tips would be appreciated 🤧
Whenever I hear something like this I wonder if the calorie goal is too low. Here are some indicators that might be the case for you:
https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/
That said, also see Ann's post above about whether 200 calories really matters in the long run. It might have more of a mental detrimental affect than a succeed at weight loss goal affect.
200 calories matters alot if you're going 200 over regularly. But once, no. But let's be honest, almost nobody who talks about going 200 calories over their goal is only doing it once. It very much sounds like this is a *regular* occurrence for the OP. In which case, they do need to figure it out. And just saying "oh well, it's just 200 calories, so don't worry about it" isn't really helpful. That's how most of us gained weight. "Oh well, it's just a couple extra cookies. No problem. Oh well, it's just a bag of chips. No problem. Oh well, it's just a cheesecake. No problem." But ultimately it all adds up. You very likely could be right that they are trying to eat in too steep of a deficit. We'll never know. But making sure your calorie deficit isn't too dramatic is where I would start too.0 -
And yet @sollyn23l2 it truly doesn't matter... until it becomes consistent enough to matter and leads to the regular "oh, well..." you discuss above...
... the balance between enough slack and quick enough clampdown is a balance that has to be found and that may also change over time... which is why it is a hard balance to find.
Too many oh wells and things will not go well. But too much clampdown is a bit too intense for the long term.
That said, while eating at a deficit not meeting the size of your deficit goal still results in deficit eating. And even maintenance only means no deficit for that day.
Since one presumes generally sustainable behavior, not creating deficit on any given day means.... nothing more other that you didn't create a deficit that day! 🤷♂️
Generally speaking an even keel is the way to go, so I too would look at how large a deficit we are trying to create
1 -
And yet @sollyn23l2 it truly doesn't matter... until it becomes consistent enough to matter and leads to the regular "oh, well..." you discuss above...
... the balance between enough slack and quick enough clampdown is a balance that has to be found and that may also change over time... which is why it is a hard balance to find.
Too many oh wells and things will not go well. But too much clampdown is a bit too intense for the long term.
That said, while eating at a deficit not meeting the size of your deficit goal still results in deficit eating. And even maintenance only means no deficit for that day.
Since one presumes generally sustainable behavior, not creating deficit on any given day means.... nothing more other that you didn't create a deficit that day! 🤷♂️
Generally speaking an even keel is the way to go, so I too would look at how large a deficit we are trying to create
Yup, that's what I said.0 -
sollyn23l2 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »ErkeayimImashova wrote: »I do good with my diet for maybe a day or two and then suddenly I just can't hold back and have a bunch of small snacks that quickly add up and suddenly I'm 200+ over my calorie goal, any tips would be appreciated 🤧
Whenever I hear something like this I wonder if the calorie goal is too low. Here are some indicators that might be the case for you:
https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/
That said, also see Ann's post above about whether 200 calories really matters in the long run. It might have more of a mental detrimental affect than a succeed at weight loss goal affect.
200 calories matters alot if you're going 200 over regularly. But once, no. But let's be honest, almost nobody who talks about going 200 calories over their goal is only doing it once. It very much sounds like this is a *regular* occurrence for the OP. In which case, they do need to figure it out. And just saying "oh well, it's just 200 calories, so don't worry about it" isn't really helpful. That's how most of us gained weight. "Oh well, it's just a couple extra cookies. No problem. Oh well, it's just a bag of chips. No problem. Oh well, it's just a cheesecake. No problem." But ultimately it all adds up. You very likely could be right that they are trying to eat in too steep of a deficit. We'll never know. But making sure your calorie deficit isn't too dramatic is where I would start too.
Which is why my PP led off with the math, but followed up with "figure out the root cause for going over, and revise your plan to make those overages easier to avoid".
Getting all anxious about the 200 calories has (IMO) zero benefit. Putting it in terms of the math puts it in a perspective. The point was to head OP off from catastrophizing about it, thinking s/he is a failure, getting discouraged, etc. Yes, if a person is routinely over goal, that's a problem (but how much over and how often does still matter).
From another thread, my inference is that you (Sollyn) perhaps find guilt helpful. I don't. I prefer "this plan isn't working, so I should find a plan that does".2 -
sollyn23l2 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »ErkeayimImashova wrote: »I do good with my diet for maybe a day or two and then suddenly I just can't hold back and have a bunch of small snacks that quickly add up and suddenly I'm 200+ over my calorie goal, any tips would be appreciated 🤧
Whenever I hear something like this I wonder if the calorie goal is too low. Here are some indicators that might be the case for you:
https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/
That said, also see Ann's post above about whether 200 calories really matters in the long run. It might have more of a mental detrimental affect than a succeed at weight loss goal affect.
200 calories matters alot if you're going 200 over regularly. But once, no. But let's be honest, almost nobody who talks about going 200 calories over their goal is only doing it once. It very much sounds like this is a *regular* occurrence for the OP. In which case, they do need to figure it out. And just saying "oh well, it's just 200 calories, so don't worry about it" isn't really helpful. That's how most of us gained weight. "Oh well, it's just a couple extra cookies. No problem. Oh well, it's just a bag of chips. No problem. Oh well, it's just a cheesecake. No problem." But ultimately it all adds up. You very likely could be right that they are trying to eat in too steep of a deficit. We'll never know. But making sure your calorie deficit isn't too dramatic is where I would start too.
Which is why my PP led off with the math, but followed up with "figure out the root cause for going over, and revise your plan to make those overages easier to avoid".
Getting all anxious about the 200 calories has (IMO) zero benefit. Putting it in terms of the math puts it in a perspective. The point was to head OP off from catastrophizing about it, thinking s/he is a failure, getting discouraged, etc. Yes, if a person is routinely over goal, that's a problem (but how much over and how often does still matter).
From another thread, my inference is that you (Sollyn) perhaps find guilt helpful. I don't. I prefer "this plan isn't working, so I should find a plan that does".
Right. And I'm saying that it's what we do over time that matters, not in one day. I'm not really saying anything dramatically different from you, just saying it in a different way.
In regards to guilt- every emotion we feel serves a purpose. To deny it or say I'm just not going to feel that emotion is counterproductive. Emotions are neither good nor bad. They simply are. I believe it's important to feel it, acknowledge it, and move on. If you never allow yourself to feel or acknowledge it, you just end up shoving it down. But it will always come back up if you do that.0 -
sollyn23l2 wrote: »sollyn23l2 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »ErkeayimImashova wrote: »I do good with my diet for maybe a day or two and then suddenly I just can't hold back and have a bunch of small snacks that quickly add up and suddenly I'm 200+ over my calorie goal, any tips would be appreciated 🤧
Whenever I hear something like this I wonder if the calorie goal is too low. Here are some indicators that might be the case for you:
https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/
That said, also see Ann's post above about whether 200 calories really matters in the long run. It might have more of a mental detrimental affect than a succeed at weight loss goal affect.
200 calories matters alot if you're going 200 over regularly. But once, no. But let's be honest, almost nobody who talks about going 200 calories over their goal is only doing it once. It very much sounds like this is a *regular* occurrence for the OP. In which case, they do need to figure it out. And just saying "oh well, it's just 200 calories, so don't worry about it" isn't really helpful. That's how most of us gained weight. "Oh well, it's just a couple extra cookies. No problem. Oh well, it's just a bag of chips. No problem. Oh well, it's just a cheesecake. No problem." But ultimately it all adds up. You very likely could be right that they are trying to eat in too steep of a deficit. We'll never know. But making sure your calorie deficit isn't too dramatic is where I would start too.
Which is why my PP led off with the math, but followed up with "figure out the root cause for going over, and revise your plan to make those overages easier to avoid".
Getting all anxious about the 200 calories has (IMO) zero benefit. Putting it in terms of the math puts it in a perspective. The point was to head OP off from catastrophizing about it, thinking s/he is a failure, getting discouraged, etc. Yes, if a person is routinely over goal, that's a problem (but how much over and how often does still matter).
From another thread, my inference is that you (Sollyn) perhaps find guilt helpful. I don't. I prefer "this plan isn't working, so I should find a plan that does".
Right. And I'm saying that it's what we do over time that matters, not in one day. I'm not really saying anything dramatically different from you, just saying it in a different way.
In regards to guilt- every emotion we feel serves a purpose. To deny it or say I'm just not going to feel that emotion is counterproductive. Emotions are neither good nor bad. They simply are. I believe it's important to feel it, acknowledge it, and move on. If you never allow yourself to feel or acknowledge it, you just end up shoving it down. But it will always come back up if you do that.
I don't believe that to be universally true. I can accept that it's true for you, because I have no reason to disbelieve you. For myself, I'm not an emotional person. I come from a non-emotional subculture. I'm perfectly capable of deciding something isn't worth beating myself up about, then not beating myself up, without shoving it down and having it come back up. Perhaps others don't or can't, but I'm still going to put it out there that beating oneself up is optional.
Emotions may not be good or bad, but some of them feel better than others. Letting go of some of the negative ones is IME achievable. We're going to need to agree to disagree, and let various OPs decide what works for them.5 -
sollyn23l2 wrote: »sollyn23l2 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »ErkeayimImashova wrote: »I do good with my diet for maybe a day or two and then suddenly I just can't hold back and have a bunch of small snacks that quickly add up and suddenly I'm 200+ over my calorie goal, any tips would be appreciated 🤧
Whenever I hear something like this I wonder if the calorie goal is too low. Here are some indicators that might be the case for you:
https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/
That said, also see Ann's post above about whether 200 calories really matters in the long run. It might have more of a mental detrimental affect than a succeed at weight loss goal affect.
200 calories matters alot if you're going 200 over regularly. But once, no. But let's be honest, almost nobody who talks about going 200 calories over their goal is only doing it once. It very much sounds like this is a *regular* occurrence for the OP. In which case, they do need to figure it out. And just saying "oh well, it's just 200 calories, so don't worry about it" isn't really helpful. That's how most of us gained weight. "Oh well, it's just a couple extra cookies. No problem. Oh well, it's just a bag of chips. No problem. Oh well, it's just a cheesecake. No problem." But ultimately it all adds up. You very likely could be right that they are trying to eat in too steep of a deficit. We'll never know. But making sure your calorie deficit isn't too dramatic is where I would start too.
Which is why my PP led off with the math, but followed up with "figure out the root cause for going over, and revise your plan to make those overages easier to avoid".
Getting all anxious about the 200 calories has (IMO) zero benefit. Putting it in terms of the math puts it in a perspective. The point was to head OP off from catastrophizing about it, thinking s/he is a failure, getting discouraged, etc. Yes, if a person is routinely over goal, that's a problem (but how much over and how often does still matter).
From another thread, my inference is that you (Sollyn) perhaps find guilt helpful. I don't. I prefer "this plan isn't working, so I should find a plan that does".
[snip]
In regards to guilt- every emotion we feel serves a purpose. To deny it or say I'm just not going to feel that emotion is counterproductive. Emotions are neither good nor bad. They simply are. I believe it's important to feel it, acknowledge it, and move on. If you never allow yourself to feel or acknowledge it, you just end up shoving it down. But it will always come back up if you do that.
I think this is a fascinating topic. I agree with you 100% intellectually, but it is so hard to put into practice. I want to shove those negative emotions away. But you're right, what's repressed will eventually come bubbling back up.3 -
It is a choice of approach. People deal differently. I personally like to identify situation/emotion (assess), then figure out next step and do that.
Of this approach, includes releasing any negative emotion without beating myself up (self-flagellation), then turn and embrace the next step and the positive benefits ahead.2 -
Adventurista wrote: »It is a choice of approach. People deal differently. I personally like to identify situation/emotion (assess), then figure out next step and do that.
Of this approach, includes releasing any negative emotion without beating myself up (self-flagellation), then turn and embrace the next step and the positive benefits ahead.
Exactly. Nobody should be beating themselves up. But figuring out your next steps is an *important* part that I think often gets lost. I may sound harsh sometimes, but it's honestly to get people to think critically about what they are doing and how they are doing it, and whether or not it's working for them. Our emotions can often let us know that something is not working for us.2 -
@sollyn23l2 ~ concurring. Adding. the process of change is not always discussed. We learn things, then make flash/routine decisions in all areas of life. It is essential for life to happen well. But we don't often treat learning new "dieting" skills to something similar to learning new "athletic" skills for example.
If we are used to having a food thought, acting immediately, we could be finished eating before we stop, go oopsie, percieve we blew it, feel guilt.
It is a shift, don't you think, to stop acting/eating on impulse, assess, make a plan, try, repeat. Eventually we get it...
Before that though is even the decision to change anything in a real way. When I was quitting smoking, I used to think... ok, i should quit, but i like it socially and don't really wanna. I remember one day thinking, well, if I can't smoke, then how will life be better if i quit. Explore that.
Food, really excess food/over-eating is like that, for me. If i just really need to stop over-eating, then how can I eat, how will life be better, explore that. Embrace it even. Make it an adventure. It has been a profound change in deep belief/values and approach. In hand with that was a decision to release guilt, and focus on the change(s) and process of it all.3
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