WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2024
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Snowflake1968 wrote: »Heather - I 100% agree that funeral homes charge so much. I also think it’s not necessary for the viewing, the people I talked about didn’t want anything at all, not even a celebration of life. I believe that those left need something to remember and honour their loved one. I learned a lot about my Dad from his friends and family that attended, it was so nice to learn about him from a different angle.
I am very interested in MAID here in Canada. I think that quality overrides quantity when it comes to life.
I hope the Grands are not too tiring for you today.
The paintings are beautiful!Kylia - it must be difficult that your daughters aren’t getting along. Maybe your house could be neutral and a feud free zone.
I too am a hugger and touchy person, but I know who in my circle really doesn’t want touched or hugged.
Lisa - I loved doing the gallery wall, I’m quite happy with it now that I made a couple of small changes.
Annie - I have a terrible time at resisting lately, I used to be better at it. I think I’m not eating as healthy as I was, so I’m always looking for something to satisfy me.
Margaret - lovely photo.
Rita - I’m so glad you found what may be causing the higher anxiety. I used to watch 911 all the time, I need to get back to it. I’ve heard of the “living funerals” I think that is awesome.
A friend’s story regarding medication:Trigger warning so I’ll put in a spoiler.My friend started a new medication for fibromyalgia in February 2020, she was to have a follow up appointment in a month, but Covid hit and everything, including her doctors office shut down. She didn’t see a doctor again until April, but it was a video appointment and the main thing they discussed was a spot on her nose that turned out to be skin cancer. In June she had surgery that required a lot of plastic surgery afterwards to rebuild her nose. She was depressed and chalked it up to Covid restrictions and her surgery.
In October of that year they found out they needed to bring her MIL out to live with them, the MIL was terrible, called her names, threatened her, etc. Her husband didn’t believe his mother was being this bad. She ended up spending most of her days in the bedroom so that she didn’t have to interact with her. I was growing very concerned and invited her to come stay with us. I felt no one was paying attention to her.
In January of 2021 she ended up attempting suicide, when she was finally given the help she so needed it was found that the medication she had started almost a year before had suicidal ideation as a side effect. She never even thought about that, she had so many other things going on that she thought that was causing all of her thoughts and actions. Medication is nothing to play around with. As soon as the medicine was removed (slowly, she couldn’t stop it cold turkey) she was able to handle all of the other stuff that had been happening.
Linda - sounds like an eventful Easter!
Joy - I hope your daughter has a positive result from the tests. I had to have a lump removed when I was in my early 20’s, the stress of waiting for the result was hard to deal with.
Barbara - why music in the crawl space?
Sue - how terrible! I hope you fell better soon. That tenant needs to get out soon. Does your lawyer have any advice on how to do it?
Ginny - you are so right about the differing work schedules. This year hasn’t been as bad as last year when he worked nights and I was working days and nothing has been as bad as when he drove truck but it’s still been hard to stay connected this year. Although I have to say the last few days have been better.
I hope you don’t have to use your “go bag.”
Michele - pretty ceramics.
I have a tough assignment this week. I have to partner with a classmate that the instructor chose, we need to have a one minute conversation using only ASL. We are meeting after class tomorrow to write our script, we present on Friday and it’s worth 50% of our mark. I think that online courses should have any assignments that rely on a partner. It seems unfair, we don’t know each other, have only met in person once. Just strange to me.
I coloured my hair tonight, and am now watching American Idol and then The Voice.
Tracey in Edmonton
@Tracey, I took a semester of ASL for one of my language requirements. The final grade project, which was in person (no online classes back then) was to find a song, poem, monologue, to sign to the class. I chose the song “Big Girls Don’t Cry” as mine. While performing it, I psyched myself up and got lost in the music, so my facial expressions went along with the song and ASL. The class was laughing with me and I got an A plus for it. I was happy and had fun at the same time. On the other hand, when I was working on my both my masters, they were all virtual and had to work with others in groups. I always hated that, but took lead because I wanted the A and at the last minute would do whatever was missing and needed to get that grade for my group. I did assign parts and didn’t do anything about them until the very end. I would then send a note to the instructor stating what I thought was the contributions people did. The instructor more often than not, figured it out without my notes.
RVRita in Roswell6 -
Hello, my chickens... from the gray and gloomy River Valley of Arkansas, and the seriously clingy kitty who keeps making me retype my words when she headbutts my arm because I'm NOT PETTING HER ENOUGH. I can practically hear her yelling the thoughts... 🐈⬛😼Poor baby.
She doesn't like it when it's chilly and rainy, as her favorite all-time spot outside is the concrete pavers, which soak up the sun and provide the best backscratching ever.
Anyway... I stopped in earlier and read last night's posts, but I knew I wouldn't get my yoga done if I started talking to y'all, so I got the dishes going and got yoga+ done before I sat down to the laptop again. I added toe point lifts to get the back of my thighs well stretched, and a few reps to some of them. I'll be moving up to the higher-resistance bands by next week for the band work. I'm at the 30-minute mark now.
Re: Expressions of feeling (it got a little long, so I spoilered it):I'm not sure I ever have a feeling anymore that I don't express to SOMEbody. I don't necessarily believe that is a virtue, or even necessarily enjoyable for everyone else to deal with coming from me.
I grew up with an abuser and dealt with holding that unexpressed for decades, and then lived through silent neglect, emotional disapproval, secrets and avoidance for another 27 years. I decided once I left that marriage I was done hiding ANYthing, whether it's how I feel, what I'm thinking, or anything else. So I don't.
I'm not saying full disclosure is the right way, the best way, or the healthiest way to be. To me, if it makes people feel better not to express their emotions, they shouldn't be made to feel bad about doing so. But if I'm curious about Corey's emotions, I ask him. He will often answer me, but when he doesn't, I don't push. However, he rarely offers them up without being questioned.
He never has a problem knowing where I stand, however. About anything. You would have to ask him if he's happy with that - I'm figuring since he's stuck around for 15 years, he's pretty much OK with it...
Regarding people touching me: You've probably noticed I don't like it. It's fast approaching the phobia level with all the medical stuff, but luckily doctors try not to touch people anymore if they can help it. My hair's naturally curly, one of the reasons I keep it quite short now, and people used to touch it all the time, particularly when I was young. They don't do that anymore. "Ew" is a huge underestimate of how I feel when a stranger touches me.
Rita - The medications have been, barring one or two symptoms, much worse than the issues they're supposed to be resolving. I landed in the ER twice, strictly because of a medication that I shouldn't have been given. You have my complete sympathy, and I'm so pleased you found out what was causing those horrible panic attacks.
Pip - Membership in the families we're born into seems to make some folks feel they have permission to be absolute goobers to us and each other. You're right, you can't make this stuff up, you just have to laugh and tell 'em to take a long walk off a short pier.
Read everyone's, as always, but kept only a few at top of mind. Just got my confirmation call, nothing after midnight tonight, have to be at the hospital at 6 a.m., so I'll have to take my morning meds and coffee with me to have after. Should be a doddle, right? Right.
And... I've rattled enough. Welcome to anyone who's new - jump into any conversation that interests you.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
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Today is:
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Good morning, Friends!
Michele, NC: Are there any rescues who would take Eva? Maybe if she got with the right foster from a rescue they could work on some of her issues.
M in Oz: Oh the hair thing! Don’t get me wrong, I love having my hair washed at a salon or when my BF runs his hands through it. But since I’ve grown out the natural sparkles and the length, random people will try to touch it and ask if it’s real. Seriously?? I want to say, "No, it’s not real, it just a figment of your imagination.”
Anna in Michigan: I have a cat, Biscuit, who likes plants, too. I’ve had to move them either out of his reach or put them in my home office where I can keep an eye on them. I have a 30+ year old pothos that he loves to nibble on. Our other cat, Cheddar, could care less.
As for me, I did a Barre video and some yoga last night after work. So easy to get in an after-work workout in working from home. I love Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. She has easy to follow routines, explains poses well, and is kinda funny, too.
Looking forward to tomorrow night. My best friend, daughter, daughter-in-law, and I are going to see SIX here in Jacksonville. I ordered an outfit online, but once I tried it on here, well, it’s a bit shiny, LOL Black satin pants, a champagne sequined top, a champage and white jeweled headband, and chandelier earrings. I was trying to channel Catherine of Aragon. Might skip the earrings.
Everyone make it great day!
Linda
Jacksonville, FL
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Today’s gratitude: Joe telling me about the Count of Monte Christo, he just finished the first book where Dantès did good for all who tried to do good to him, and is not starting the second book getting into the revenge. I’m thankful I’ve never been hurt so very badly that I would be consumed with vengeance.
Carol the trees and ocean (and fenced area for the dogs) are 3 of the things that make this my “dream home.” Happy to share with you!
Linda Thanks for letting us know it all came out ok
“sprinkles” ;}
Oh Sue. Is there no way to expedite her eviction?
Michele prayers for Eva in her home. Why ever would Jess want to interest you in gardening? Haven’t you enough to do? ROTFLMAOWMP! Hadn’t thought of the good side of worry, looking for my wallet should have burned a few calories. Thanks! Your praying mantis made me smile!
Tracey music and talk radio in the crawl space to disrupt the mousies’ peace and urge them to move back into the quiet forest Tracey you are so right about differing schedules. Both Joe and I are retired, but his last job was graveyard shift and our patterns have never re-synced after that. A little sad, but means our morning tea chats are all the more important to me. There may be more to that assignment than meets the eye… but you’ll have no trouble. You’re great at getting people to cooperate
Machka happy to make you smile and remind you of the “incoming” hugger. Filed the list of TBI websites in my “just in case…”
Debbie “. . . and she ate all of it.” WOW! What a positive result of both your calling her out on the lies and a sweet balm to Easter’s pain. You GO girl!!!
Heather Brava for proactivity! Edie’s wish and your response made me misty.
Annie I’m with you. Send a check.. or use a credit-not-debit card for its protections.
Anna in MI “measurements… shrinking”? VERY well done!. That is truly what I wish and will work for this month.
Lanette love hearing about your girls and so thankful they were protected from whatever got the bunny. Thanks so much for yours to Machka about Dr. David Hanscom. “this I can do” Brava!
Rita good wishes on weaning yourself off from the anxiety meds. Know your walks and photography are therapeutic. ((hugs)) Would love to see a YouTube of your signing Big Girls Don’t Cry. Bet it would make me laugh too!
Pip good take on the soap opera.
Lisa holding good thoughts that tomorrow’s procedure brings clarity and painless solutions.
Shoulda done what Lisa did, now won’t have time for PT before shower. Grr.
Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
April: Move more than yesterday, fuel better than yesterday, live NOW.
Open heart and mind before mouth.
2024: Strengthen: body, mind, heart-connections
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Well my teeth cleaning went fine yesterday. They only did the upper teeth, the lower teeth is at an appointment in July. My husband just got "coding" done. His cleaning is spanned over 4 appointments! Then comes the teeth correcting. So it will be something that financially will be spanned over the year, (they're a busy place).
So yesterday got a call from eldest in Japan. He's doing well, and has organized a solution to his household goods dilemma. You see he had his household goods shipped over and though he has 90 days to get it, he had no place to put it. He was told the housing there would be unfurnished, but they are furnished places, and SMALL. We told him they would be, but he was like I don't have too much stuff. Well now he is scrambling a bit but wants to buy a moving truck. He will park it on base and he can keep his boxes in there, his furniture and his scooters. I have my doubts it will work. There is the fact that he needs a commercial vehicle license for that. But in the end he will either have boxes all in his place, and just sell his furniture, or this truck thing will pan out. Fingers crossed!
The grandkids being sweet💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
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Linda - Love your description of the outfit! Enjoy yourself!
I'm not a toucher or hugger. No one has ever tried to touch my hair, thank goodness! I have learned to be a little more open to touch than I used to be, but it's a struggle. As a victim of abuse as a child, it's a complicated subject. Let's say, with the right person, I'm fine. I do hug Edie. And I'm OK in a sexual relationship. Otherwise, I think I give out 'keep out' signals! Over here it's normal to do the air kissing thing, which is a bit ridiculous, but I can do it.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx5 -
Debbie - I hope MIL agrees to the Meals on Wheels, that will help give your husband a break.
Machka - We are in drought conditions here in Alberta this year. I am hoping we get some rain because the fire season is going to be bad if we don't. Next week my final session in my course is on Traumatic Brain Injury and Physical impairments. I feel I'll be a bit ahead of the game from everything you have shared.
I have tried to journal too, but found when I have something on my mind it’s best for me to write it out then tear it up. I write in letter style more often than not. I can’t meditate either, I have never figured out how to get my brain to shut up. I do like going for drives when things are on my mind, crank the music and go. I don’t do that much now, but it was my go to for years.
Heather - I sure hope your doctor steps up soon and completes that form. I also hope you get a nap in sometime today.
Annie - Your Dad sure is wanting to stay active and useful.
My Dad did the same, I was reading my Mom's diary last week - October 2012 - "Lorne, (my dad) got out of the hospital this morning, they've ordered a hospital bed for him. We went to Nancy's this afternoon so he could check on the deck he's building." At this point my Dad was on oxygen 24/7 and had been told he his chemo wasn't working, but he still went and built a deck for his niece. I think it helped him keep his mind off things.
Anna - I worked in a nursing home, there were quite a few residents, men included, that dyed their hair. Most of my family has allowed their grey to come in. I am just not ready to allow mine to come in, for several reasons. I may at some point allow it, I think the growing in part will be the worst.
I hope you’re able to help your dad with his hearing aids. They are expensive not to take care of.
Great job on your weight loss.
Rita - I wouldn’t keep trying meds either if I had negative reactions.
I’ve met, via Teams, the lady I will be conversing with using ASL on Friday. We each are going to say 6 lines. I would have made it a bit more challenging to learn, but we’re not sure if our instructor will even know what we’re signing. I just hope it’s long enough. Working in a team that affects me personally always bothers me, I like being responsible for my own marks on my own.
On speaking my feelings: I have a tendency to bottle things up and then let it explode. I have worked on this over the years and have gotten much better at saying things than I used to.
If I’m being honest, you ladies probably know more of my inner thoughts than anyone else.
On being touched: I actually love being touched and hugged. Not by complete strangers but if we’ve just met and made a connection I for sure would be open to a hug. My eldest daughter doesn’t like being hugged, has a huge personal space area, but is very loving towards the grands. Rodger, thankfully, is very open to hugs and touch and so is Kaitlyn. Brodey is not a hugger. I’ve actually made him a mug that has cactus on it that says “not a hugger”. Lauryn’s husband is not the hugging type either.
Barbara - I never would have thought about a radio to get rid of mice. I have the plug in sonic things in our place. “Knock on wood” we have made it two years without an issue here. I hope to never have to deal with them again.
My eldest daughter is suffering terribly with anxiety and it’s affecting my grandchildren’s education. I don’t know how to help her. She is having dizzy spells and ends up vomiting a lot, she then can’t drive the kids to school. The schools are too far for them to walk, the city busses are not safe at all anymore and they don’t qualify for the school bus. If I lived closer I would just drive the kids myself but I can’t drive into the city twice a day to take them and pick them up. I’m so concerned about this, also quite angry about it because she didn’t go see the doctor and now the doctor has retired and she doesn’t have one. I try not to nag at her about it because I don’t want our relationship ruined, but I’m quite put out.
I’m also put out with DH right now, he keeps taking the option to come home instead of staying at work, because he’s bored. He told me before I chose to go back to school that he would work to make sure we weren’t affected too much financially. He isn’t holding up his end of the bargain. I also don’t want to nag at him, he’s an adult and should know if he’s not working we don’t have money.
I’m feeling very angry at both of them today.
Tracey in Edmonton
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Heather - I'm so pleased that all the grandkids' presence in your lives means so much. Your love just shines out of every picture you post with them.
Allie - Thinking about you and your test today, and the pics of your sMiles are a boost for all of us. Hope your Tracy's doing OK.
Tracey - Hate that feeling of helpless anger, it's not a good place to be inside your head. As you said, you tend to sit on things and explode, and this sounds like a couple of those things that are going to lend themselves to that behavior. I understand the reluctance to say that you're angry about their actions, though. No easy answer, dear heart, just lots of hugs from far, far south of you... You'll find your way through it.
Well, I got all virtuous and got my work done on the elliptical after my last post, because I decided I don't want to do any work outside whatsoever. I won't do the brickwork at 52 degrees outside (11C). At this temperature, even when it's dry, my hands feel like they're in an ice vise, just burning cold. When you're working with brick, the cold wetness of the mortar seeps into your hands no matter what. Absolute torture.
Then I fell down the internet rabbit hole, watching videos on YouTube. My daughter called, then Corey called for his lunchtime chat. After we settled on what's for dinner, he went back to his lunch, I got a few licks done on my current painting, and now I'm going back to the craft room to work on something... Not sure what yet!
Later, y'all,
Love, Lisa in AR
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Debbie - this was on my FB newsfeed. I thought you might get a chuckle out of it.
Trqcey10 -
Afternoon all
Everything went well nothing in the colon and he did a few biopsies on the endoscopy ,but nothing unusual.
Im home and relaxing
Alfie snoozing next to me.9 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »Hello, my chickens... from the gray and gloomy River Valley of Arkansas, and the seriously clingy kitty who keeps making me retype my words when she headbutts my arm because I'm NOT PETTING HER ENOUGH. I can practically hear her yelling the thoughts... 🐈⬛😼Poor baby.
Re: Expressions of feeling (it got a little long, so I spoilered it):I'm not sure I ever have a feeling anymore that I don't express to SOMEbody. I don't necessarily believe that is a virtue, or even necessarily enjoyable for everyone else to deal with coming from me.
I grew up with an abuser and dealt with holding that unexpressed for decades, and then lived through silent neglect, emotional disapproval, secrets and avoidance for another 27 years. I decided once I left that marriage I was done hiding ANYthing, whether it's how I feel, what I'm thinking, or anything else. So I don't.
I'm not saying full disclosure is the right way, the best way, or the healthiest way to be. To me, if it makes people feel better not to express their emotions, they shouldn't be made to feel bad about doing so. But if I'm curious about Corey's emotions, I ask him. He will often answer me, but when he doesn't, I don't push. However, he rarely offers them up without being questioned.
He never has a problem knowing where I stand, however. About anything. You would have to ask him if he's happy with that - I'm figuring since he's stuck around for 15 years, he's pretty much OK with it...
Pip - Membership in the families we're born into seems to make some folks feel they have permission to be absolute goobers to us and each other. You're right, you can't make this stuff up, you just have to laugh and tell 'em to take a long walk off a short pier.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
Totally understand when you say "silent neglect and avoidance"-been dealing with it a bit over 27 yrs.
I have talked to him a few times(Very few-don't like confrontation so keep quiet) about it but it may change slightly for a week at most but always goes back to the old ways.
Agree on the family thing- I got a call from our former childhood neighbor who came out to dinner when I was at mom's.
He said he talked to my older sister(she had been bugging him to call her-trying to reconnect with old friends). In their conversation, she started talking about mom's place(where we grew up). She said she thinks the property is worth, get this, 10 MILLION $$$$ and she is expecting to her her full share of that amount. The property is worth a lot but closer to 1/10 of that, maybe a bit more.
Mom did tell Mike when he was out visiting another time that she knows that both sisters just would want to sell the place for the money but I want to keep it. Younger sister actually asked my dad for "her share of her inheritance" YEARS ago, over 10 yrs before dad passed away.
I will mention older sister's conversation with Mike as a way to start the much needed conversation of exactly what her plans are. I know there are going to be hard feelings on all sides.
Guys are going out to lunch-dh's friends are coming down from Sacramento and ds will be home from school by then so all four are going. I was invited but think I will enjoy the quiet time and work in the yard. Supposed to get up to 70 today- was 75 yesterday afternoon. Rain coming back on Thursday.
Didn't go walk MIL's dog this morning because dh was taking him to the vet so I stayed home- getting chores done with no interuptions is so nice.
On my third, or maybe forth cup of tea. Will make myself a nice lunch in a bit.
Debbie
Napa Valley,CA
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Tracey - I am so familiar with that kind of anger, and it keeps me awake at night.
I sometimes get into a hyper-critical state over John, or someone else. It is corrosive to ones wellbeing. I find one small action can help, like scheduling a drink together outside the house where it's easier to talk. For your daughter, it's just hard. Especially when it affects the kids. I wonder what's underneath it all. No solutions, only commiserations. Your grandchildren are just wonderful. What's their take on it?
I didn't go up to the doctors today. I think my proactivity had hit the buffers. Tomorrow I will get myself there.
No results yet from my emails.
Had a Zoom today with my schoolfriends. Frustrating conversation, because we were talking about ADHD, and I know that G has it. I went all round the subject, but couldn't say so. I'm seeing her on Thursday, so, who knows. . . . I can't believe she hasn't realised it! She is textbook. She puts it down to her mental illness. I don't think diagnosing people left, right, and centre is helpful, but many have found profound relief.And a community.
Had delicious roasted root vegetables for dinner, with chilli, and green beans. Crême fraiche.
All good.
LoveHeatherUKxxxxxxxx.3 -
My Siri is a head butter to my head when she feels like it..2
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🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri3 -
I’ve talked to Rodger with only a bit of a raised voice. I think he heard me, I don’t know if it will make a difference but I feel better letting him know how I’m feeling.
As for how the Grands are handling my daughter…
I won’t ask them outright anything that would make them think their mother is doing anything wrong. However, they have made comments on their own.
A few weeks ago when Jonah said something about not going to school, Michaela told him that Mom is sick and they have to take care of her. She then told me, “jonah gets upset when we don’t go to school, but I just tell him Mom’s sick and we need to stay home”.
This past visit last week though, she was practicing math and writing because she feels she’s getting behind.
Jonah told me that their Dad takes them on his days off.
I am at a loss on this one. She obviously can’t drive when she’s dizzy, but this is affecting them.
She had been on meds for anxiety that they think is caused from undiagnosed ADHD, but when she started getting so sick they took her off the meds. They have ran various tests because she has lost probably 60-65lbs now, they told her it was anxiety but didn’t give her anything to try to calm it.
I have bought her a bunch of self-care stuff. For Christmas I gave her the Witches guide to self care, I bought her all the stones, oils and candles she would need for the mental health chapter. I don’t know if she has used it or not.
I am going to be seeing her this evening. Maybe I’ll try to have a conversation with her.
Ugh! Wouldn’t it be nice if life just went along without any struggles.
Tracey9 -
Well I am read up to the end of March. I had 4 days off. We went to Kansas to DH's side of the family for Easter. We had a nice time and got to meet to 2 new babies. Our DGD went with us.
My test's on Friday went well and I meet with the doctor next Monday to go over the results. My main concern right now is the shortness of breath and being tried all the time.
Back at work today and since the one is gone so much less drama.
Pip--I am sorry to hear about your mom and family. I have not cried since I can remember. Not for either of my parents, sister or son. Guess I just go numb.
Michele--Sorry for your loss. It is never easy to lose one of our fur babies.
Tracey--Great on your grades. Can't believe it is almost done and you will be doing what you love, working with children.
Allie--Tough news for Tracy and family.
Rita--I pray you are doing better. panic attacks are no fun.
April--Sorry to hear about the setback for your son and dad. Prays and hugs
Rori--HUGS. we never know when grief will hit
Well ladies tomorrow I will try and get this month read. Each of you are very important and to me.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE 7 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »Hello, my chickens... from the gray and gloomy River Valley of Arkansas, and the seriously clingy kitty who keeps making me retype my words when she headbutts my arm because I'm NOT PETTING HER ENOUGH. I can practically hear her yelling the thoughts... 🐈⬛😼Poor baby.
She doesn't like it when it's chilly and rainy, as her favorite all-time spot outside is the concrete pavers, which soak up the sun and provide the best backscratching ever.
Anyway... I stopped in earlier and read last night's posts, but I knew I wouldn't get my yoga done if I started talking to y'all, so I got the dishes going and got yoga+ done before I sat down to the laptop again. I added toe point lifts to get the back of my thighs well stretched, and a few reps to some of them. I'll be moving up to the higher-resistance bands by next week for the band work. I'm at the 30-minute mark now.
Re: Expressions of feeling (it got a little long, so I spoilered it):I'm not sure I ever have a feeling anymore that I don't express to SOMEbody. I don't necessarily believe that is a virtue, or even necessarily enjoyable for everyone else to deal with coming from me.
I grew up with an abuser and dealt with holding that unexpressed for decades, and then lived through silent neglect, emotional disapproval, secrets and avoidance for another 27 years. I decided once I left that marriage I was done hiding ANYthing, whether it's how I feel, what I'm thinking, or anything else. So I don't.
I'm not saying full disclosure is the right way, the best way, or the healthiest way to be. To me, if it makes people feel better not to express their emotions, they shouldn't be made to feel bad about doing so. But if I'm curious about Corey's emotions, I ask him. He will often answer me, but when he doesn't, I don't push. However, he rarely offers them up without being questioned.
He never has a problem knowing where I stand, however. About anything. You would have to ask him if he's happy with that - I'm figuring since he's stuck around for 15 years, he's pretty much OK with it...
Regarding people touching me: You've probably noticed I don't like it. It's fast approaching the phobia level with all the medical stuff, but luckily doctors try not to touch people anymore if they can help it. My hair's naturally curly, one of the reasons I keep it quite short now, and people used to touch it all the time, particularly when I was young. They don't do that anymore. "Ew" is a huge underestimate of how I feel when a stranger touches me.
Rita - The medications have been, barring one or two symptoms, much worse than the issues they're supposed to be resolving. I landed in the ER twice, strictly because of a medication that I shouldn't have been given. You have my complete sympathy, and I'm so pleased you found out what was causing those horrible panic attacks.
Pip - Membership in the families we're born into seems to make some folks feel they have permission to be absolute goobers to us and each other. You're right, you can't make this stuff up, you just have to laugh and tell 'em to take a long walk off a short pier.
Read everyone's, as always, but kept only a few at top of mind. Just got my confirmation call, nothing after midnight tonight, have to be at the hospital at 6 a.m., so I'll have to take my morning meds and coffee with me to have after. Should be a doddle, right? Right.
And... I've rattled enough. Welcome to anyone who's new - jump into any conversation that interests you.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
I like that, never heard of it, “ tell 'em to take a long walk off a short pier” lmao4 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 2hrs 8min 28sec, 40elev, 3.02ap, 83ahr, 113mhr, 6.52mi= 684c
Strava app = 799c
Zwift home spin bike- strava stats- 18.54min, 148elev, 143aw, 53arpm, 20.9amph, gear40, 114ahr, 141mhr, 6.59mi= 137c
Strava app= 155c
Zwift stats- 18.55min, 148elev, 143aw, 52arpm, 20.93amph, 6.60mi= 155c
Total cal 8214 -
I’ve had a few for different times in my life.
Is There Life Out There
Ballad of Lucy Jordan
One Day at a Time
Why me Lord
Tracey in Edmonton8 -
Tracey - When I started my first company, we did a number of all-nighters finishing up technical writing contracts. One of them, I was so tired I ended up crying behind the wheel of my car because I couldn't remember my way home. I played "Walking on Broken Glass," by the Eurythmics at high volume until I was awake enough to remember, and then all the way home with the windows open at 30 degrees so I could stay awake. Every time I was struggling in college, I'd put that on at high volume. When I met and fell in love with Corey, it was "Bleeding Love," by Leona Lewis, and every time he walked in the house, it was "Fried Chicken" by the Zac Brown Band.
I had to look up The Ballad of Lucy Jordan, but I knew the rest...
4 -
I’ll have to look those songs up, except Chicken Fried. I know that one.
I listened to them, you’ve introduced me to new artists
Tracey2 -
Someone I know has a "911 Playlist" on her phone. It's a group of songs that will bring her out of a funk and they are always available to her. 9
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didn't walk(dh took his mom's dog to the vet for a check up so I got to stay home) but did track and stay under on my calories. Chose left over baked salmon, steamed asparagus and a pear for dinner instead of one of the big baked Chinese pork buns dh's friend brought down. That would have put me way over on calories I think. I will enjoy one tomorrow(walking, yard work at MIL's and zumba all tomorrow).
Weather was great again, just a bit cooler than yesterday. Got my green house pretty much organized while all the guys(dh's friends, dh and son) all went to lunch. Was so nice to have a quiet day to myself. They were supposed to go to the movies too this evening but they were all too tired and dh has to be at work at midnight tonight. He is back in his room so still have a quiet evening. Son just left to go to his girlfriends house.
Having my tea(have been drinking tea all day, switched to decaf at 2), will watch some tv and go to bed a bit early. Insomnia last night- got to sleep sometime after 3AM and up a bit after 8.
Debbie5 -
1
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Hi Gals,
Tracey in Edmonton – try googling uber for kids, and there are in the states a number of services designed for kid transportation – with extra safety and screening…. Might be to expensive but worth checking out.
Debbie – It was a lot of work but finally got my mom to put in writing everything about who gets what in what quantity and how…. Even down to a list of some of the more valuable of the items in the house… If you can help her do anything like that it will make it easier. I was able to couch it in the this will be the final gift you can give to each of us, both the gift of clarity and maybe that then we will be able to stay connected after you are gone. ---- In our case there is small hope that all of us will stay connected but I knew it was what she wanted and certainly less fighting will not hurt.
Lisa and Tracey – I did listen to at least part of each of the songs, and had never heard any of them.
Thinking of you all,
Kim in N. California
5 -
0
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Kim - I’ll check that out. Thank you for the suggestion.
Tracey2 -
🦋0
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