LeanStrongSexy's 'NO MORE NEWSFEED' BLOG

endurovet

My bladder got me up 3 times last night, but at least I was down a lb, back to 191…

Shortness of breath is alarming, but we’re all coughing & sneezing at the clinic, so I’m writing some of this off to allergies. Using my nasal spray has been helpful, still waiting to hear from the bike shop. This cool crisp weather has me anxious to saddle up in a different sense!

leanstrongsexy

I have been doing some stuff around the house. I have curtains up now in colours I like. I got new ones for living room and my room. Windows are big. Each window needed 4 panels each. Sleep was ok for length lousy for deep sleep

endurovet

Another restless night for me, in part thanks to the Charlie Kirk assassination. Even if you didn’t agree with his politics, the man shouldn’t have been shot - on a college campus, no less!?! Will we be sliding into Civil War 2? - tune in tomorrow, same bat time!

Getting ready to load up & go over to mom’s facility for a “one day early” celebration of her 94th birthday. Her actual birthday is 9/12, but I obligated myself to judge a ride this weekend probably 6 months ago? So I really didn’t know at that time if we would have another birthday to celebrate - my bad! I am hoping with her imprecise grasp of time & place these days, it won’t be a big deal. I’ve ordered a sandwich tray & a cake - my friend is going with me, & while she asked about taking mom out for lunch, I think that would be too much for her to handle. She got very disoriented & upset the last time we tried to take her out which was probably 4 months ago.

leanstrongsexy

Wow the climate down that way is extraordinary. I’m sure your mom will be happy to be celebrating anything at her agar. She may not care whether it’s for herself or someone else.

I charged my Fitbit and forgot to put it on. But I feel like I slept well.

leanstrongsexy

Finally a good nights sleep. REM & deep sleep. I took 300 mg of CBN and slept like a baby. I would like to sleep longer but I got my 8. Weight 233. This is the highest I’ve been in a year. I have to stop buying my ice cream. Or figure out a better version. My weekend was busy. The guy doing the wood work was here taking measurements. The girl helping Felicia, here now known as F, paint here room. Nathan, her son, now known as N and my son were all here Saturday. My son spent the weekend hanging out with his mom. F & N still sleep at their apartment until the end of the month. Then they will live here permanently. We will also have 3 dogs. 4 when my son is here. F has a now green painted room. I’m still waiting for kitchen drawers, hopefully next week. Then he works on the pantry. It’s a space under the stairs. Previous owners had it for clothing storage. I’m going to open it up and turn it into a pantry. Then I have some shelf making to do. Then removing of a standing bar. Then a closet for my room. Once all the small stuff has been done he will build me a new bathroom.

endurovet

I’m very tired this morning after a busy weekend at the competitive trail ride. I didn’t study my maps well enough - the ranch was farther out there than I thought, about 3.5 hours away. Elaine called it “Wayfarer Out West” for good reason; we were only about 40 miles from Abilene! But it was a beautiful ranch - I didn’t get a chance to ride: when I was thinking about it Saturday afternoon since I had a small uncommitted block o’ time, Zach called me so I sat down & talked to him instead! It’s all good, I’ll never miss out on a social opportunity with my boy…

I’m amazed my weight is holding steady at 191 since they fed us really well - Elaine had arranged for two different food trucks to come out: a taco truck Friday night & a barbecue wagon Saturday night. We had leftover brisket for our “brunch” Sunday mid-morning as we were out on trail waiting for the riders. And Roger was back after his quadruple bypass surgery 6 months ago (he wasn’t riding however; he was there as a ride official), it was great to see him as well as the rest of my friends. I only took a handful of pictures myself but I will try to snag some from my friends’ Facebook posts

Roger!!

Our motley judging crew

endurovet

Fairly decent sleep - still catching up after the weekend. Friday night I slept fairly well, but Saturday night I was tortured by more black ants coming from God knows where? I’ve got to get out there & spray more poison around the trailer.

Carla got this great sunrise photo Sat morning

leanstrongsexy

Wow. You had some awesome weather for the rides too. It’s too bad you didn’t get to ride but I understand talking to Z over others. I still do that with my son. That is why I was so pleased to have him over this past weekend.

weight today was 229. I took a B vitamin complex which helps get rid of retaining water. Good night sleep and good food wise. I also avoided buying my ice cream. My step count was around over 10K

I need to take this seriously now that the stress is so much lower and I am coming to terms with my mov and the loss of my dream. I have decided to call the new place, the Bee & Butterfly Garden. Next year it will be all about getting the garden flowering instead of bushes.

endurovet

190.6 this AM as I ever-so-slowly & painfully creep back below 190… Once again, restless from about 4 AM onwards.

The bike shop left me a message last weekend when I was out of town that my trike is finally fixed - I will go up there tomorrow to pick her up, then the real challenge begins: to see how far I can ride her on flat level ground (definitely not gonna try around my neighborhood - these hills would kill me!)

I did a few minutes of tai chi this morning which was very beneficial; I was a little too stiff n’ sore to lie down on my yoga mat. “Didn’t wanna!” Great work on your step count, mine was about 5K yesterday.

leanstrongsexy

Night before last I didn’t sleep well so last night when I went to bed, I charged my Fitbit and fell asleep very very early. But because I was charging my Fitbit I have no idea how I slept according to it, but according to me, I slept pretty solid.

I have done well food wise. Will keep trying though.

endurovet

Whelp we splurged a bit - I took Hubby & Tony to the pub yesterday as celebration in part of Katie-Mule’s homecoming (my friend JR’s mule whom I agreed to take in) as well as a bon voyage dinner for Hubby as he shoved off this morning to go to Phoenix & visit his baby brother… So my weight bumped up to 192 this AM, hoping the bloat falls away by tomorrow.

I was very sad for JR - another long story I will have to blog about! Fundamentally he is returning to Brazil so he is assured of having healthcare - he was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s but he’s several years out from getting Medicare. His estranged wife will take in his two cats - we had started preparations for me to get them certified to emigrate also, but then JR changed his mind & decided to leave them with Carla. However, she didn’t want Katie Mule or her little burro companion, Mr T. Tony had expressed an interest in riding Katie today but I wanted to give her a little more time to settle in. I plead exhaustion, haven’t slept worth a darn these past 2 nights.

leanstrongsexy

Wow! Sounds like you had a busy weekend. Could you post pics of the burro and the companion?
I understand about the food. I have a new favourite ice cream. I can’t seem to resist it for long. Haagen Dasz cookies and cream. I didn’t have any today because I’m out. Sleep didn’t come very early for me last night. I got to over 6 hrs of sleep but not much deep.

endurovet

A few rainclouds blew in yesterday evening, leaving things gray & dreary this morning - so I just snagged a couple of JR‘s FB photos. (I promise I’ll post photos of Mr T the burro later - he is darling!)

These photos are from the Pole Canyon Ranch up in the Panhandle, which unfortunately has been put on the market - I hear the first sale fell through so I might be able to go see it one more time.

leanstrongsexy

Oh wow. That is a lot of red dirt. It’s interesting to see. Sunny day too.
Yesterday was uneventful but the guy doing the wood work on weekends was here and is coming back today. So once the kitchen drawers are done I can start organizing and unpacking my kitchen. Then it will be the pantry. Install shelves and stuff. I’ll take pictures of things as there done.

Slept pretty good. Got 8 hrs and almost an hour of deep sleep

food was better. Weight 230. Up from all the ice cream.

endurovet

I’ve been looking forward to sleeping in our big bed but it hasn’t gone as well as I’d hoped…

Took me a while to get to sleep - & while I did get some good deep sleep, I had another episode right before the alarm went off so it was hard to peel myself off the mattress.

& my weight is up 2 lbs; too much snacking around w/celebratory foods! (Cheese curds, I’m looking at you!)

leanstrongsexy

The drawers for the kitchen are done. I can now unpack the kitchen stuff. Next is the pantry.

No sleep last night

endurovet

Ugh! I’m not sleeping as well as I had hoped, downstairs in the big bed…

Last night I met my young colleague Dr Brown for dinner, it’s always nice to see her! & even better, she may foster Emmett, the little poodle mix I’ve rescued from my former employee who’s dying of lung cancer & cirrhosis, this weekend when we’re going to the state veterinary conference…

I’m looking forward to the conference but hanging onto my little kernel of irritation at hubby since he ran off to Phoenix to visit his brother (I did blog about it) - “If you don’t want me to go, just say so!” It feels really passive-aggressive of him to schedule it this way - when he knows A.) it’s too short notice for me to go & B.) it overlaps with the state veterinary conference where I take my staff every damn year!

So I’ve been staggering around this week, basically testing out how I’d feel if P was gone for good - he’s not bringing much into this equation & I’m tired of being disrespected. While I know he doesn’t “owe” me anything, I’d appreciate basic kindness & respect. All I seem to have is a roommate who does the mowing, a few other minor repairs, & very specific errands that I ask of him - like taking my horse trailer to get a flat tire fixed a few weeks ago. 

leanstrongsexy

Peace sounds more like a roommate that does errands and handyman stuff. If it’s not benefitting you then it benefits no one

leanstrongsexy

Well the electricians were here today. All of the electrical heat boards have been removed and the new outlet under the kitchen sink was installed. On Tuesday, the plumber will be here to put a water line for the fridge, install the instant hot water tap, install the dishwasher and tighten the sink taps. The drawers have been installed now. Unfortunately the drawers are not deep enough to stand the frying pans upright. Now they will have to be stacked. Which is not exactly what I wanted but I’ll make do. We are slowly unpacking the kitchen now. This weekend I hope to have the pantry completed so that stuff can be put away.

endurovet

Slow progress is still progress! “Life be strange” sometimes - Peran can sound like the sweetest, most concerned husband from 800 miles away over the phone, which has me scratching my head & wondering why don’t you act that way when you’re under the same roof with me?

Another Facebook friend posted a psychological Jungian testing link which I’m anxious to try, uncovering one’s blind spots… I’ll investigate it this evening when I get settled in my Ft Worth hotel room (fasting today to atone for the overindulgences of this past week):

https://www.humanmetrics.com/

leanstrongsexy

Wow. Are you in FT. Worth for the conference?

I had ice cream for breakfast and BBQ chips and dip for supper yesterday for my meals. Today I’ve had ice cream so far.

endurovet

Yes, got here about 4:30, got checked in & immediately jumped into acupuncture lecture! (I felt guilty bcz Misti specifically pointed these lectures out to me - I was hoping to just chillax in my hotel room, no rest for the weary!)

& I did grab a donut this morning but have fasted the rest of the day… Probably grab a bite after these lectures!

leanstrongsexy

Davey is moving in for the weekend. His dog is in heat and my ex, whom Davey lives with, has an attached male that they are trying to keep separated from my son’s Xena. No more puppies.

My sleep last night felt good but it sucked apparently. Less than an hr of deep sleep

endurovet

Just got home from state veterinary conference (ponies were standing at the gate asking me “Mom, why are you so friggin’ late?!?”) - & while I’ve got a ton of things to do to get myself lined up for the work week, such a wave of exhaustion hit me that I had to sit down for a few minutes…

P will be home late this afternoon from his family visit & while part of me is anxious for him to get back to our off-kilter “normality”, I know we desperately need to have that kind of a “talk” that could make or break our relationship:

A.) What’s the plan, Stan?? P is too young for conventional retirement, & I am tired of feeling as if I’m carrying the load like Atlas bearing the world on my shoulders

B.) I have told P over & over & over again what I need from a marriage: to feel valued & appreciated - a little affection, a little humor, maybe even sincere interest in how hard I work, with the many bowling balls & chainsaws I’m having to juggle goes a long long way with me! I’m tired of feeling as if I’m shouting down a well (no response to many of my conversational gambits) while I think fondly of my call to my childhood sweetheart a few weeks ago - we talked for an hour & a half which felt like an eyeblink. (No, do not worry that I’m gonna go trying to rekindle that relationship - if P & I separate, I’m going to spend a good long time by myself! Conventional marriage is overrated: a great deal for the men, while it seems to be self-sacrifice for the women)

Now I’ve got to go let the ponies out & straighten up my disaster area of a house. Feels as if I’ve held the line weight-wise but I will be curious to see what the scale says when I weigh in in the morning after all my hiking around Fort Worth. I got just under 10k steps on Friday & about 6K on Saturday. Sleep was fair but missed out on the deep sleep…

Friday night’s example

leanstrongsexy

I left my ex in 2012. I have lived alone since then. Having Felicia and Nathan in with me solves a few things for me. 1. I am concerned about my brain/senility health as I get older. It runs in the family on my dad’s side. I follow my dad’s ancestry. Now I have someone to watch over my brain to make sure I stay safe and to keep track of me as I get older. I figure I’ll be in a nursing home by 80. Good thing they are building a new one in town. And Felicia works there.

endurovet

Whelp P didn’t roll home from the airport until almost 9:30; by that time I certainly didn’t want to get into any serious discussions! Stepped on the scales this AM to shock & horror at seeing 194 - but of course inflammation is a thing! My legs & central core are noticeably sore. I did a 45-min online yoga class Sat evening before we all dressed up & went out to dinner which was mostly floor stretches - very good, I should’ve repeated it last night but started watching the Cowboys game (WHY??!!?? Why do they allow a tie in professional sports?!?)

Gonna go steam my bod in the shower - but I’m witcha on having somebody around - if I fell or otherwise had an accident down in the barn, it might be a long time before someone found me. Maybe I’ll make a habit of carrying my phone 😳

leanstrongsexy

Or you could get one of those medical alert devices. That way if you’re unconscious when you fall or a horse kicks you at least the medical alert will be notified.