LeanStrongSexy's 'NO MORE NEWSFEED' BLOG
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I forgot to add my sleep and edit wont add pics for me.
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My sleep likewise feels insufficient - I’m getting up “tired” even though I’m spending 8.5 hrs or so in bed…
At least my weight is slowly drifting back down - 192 this morning, still feeling bloated & sluggish. Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary & I got so hung up in non-productive rescue work that I didn’t even manage to get Hubby a friggin’ greeting card! (I should be able to grab one today, & I’ve promised him a nice steak dinner tonight)
Everything is piling up on me - between ordinary work that remains hectic, the rescue work that I know full well I brought upon myself, prepping for the ride this weekend, & getting ready for our little “bon voyage” fish fry for JR Sunday which are friends Jack & Linda are hosting. That situation is still breaking my heart - it was so sad when we picked up JR‘s mule. Tony is anxious to ride her, but I’ve told him she’s still settling in - in some way it seems disrespectful? We can re-introduce her to work when JR has departed - to me parading her around now would seem like rubbing salt in the wound…
It was also very sad when I went to the nursing home last night to get my former receptionist to sign a release form so I can place her poor neglected poodle mix in foster care. (She was very resistant about “not giving up her dogs” but at this point she can’t even take care of herself! so I concentrated on getting the form signed for Emmett. Since Cory is with me & Obie the heeler is with Misti, we’ll worry about those formalities later.) I don’t think Tamara is even 70 years old yet - but talk about “living hard & dying young”! - she’s fried her liver with alcohol (cirrhosis), and she also has lung cancer yet I found her smoking on the back patio along with three or four other residents, a tiny withered gnome in a wheelchair. I would hardly have recognized her but still knew her voice (she worked for me 25 yrs ago).
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Wow! Have you thought about taking a weekend off and relaxing at home and catch your breath?
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”I can rest when I’m dead” 😜🤣😂
My rest periods coincide with these sessions in my recliner with warm little dogs in my lap… If my activity levels fall any lower, I might as well fossilize! But seriously, I do ponder these questions sometimes - why do I place so much of my identity on being a veterinarian who is an endurance rider (aka “Endurovet”)?!? I adopted this username 20+ yrs ago as we were galloping into the 21st-century - another colleague was “Endurodiva”. I’m not a diva so Endurovet sounded just right to me…
It’s as good a distraction from the travails of life as anything, I guess!
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Sleep was better last night. Deep sleep over an hour. Yahoo! REM sleep was over 2 hrs. I actually feel rested. Food was better yesterday. I’ll step on a scale tomorrow see how I’m doing after a few days of being more careful.
I was under calories I think. The sweet potato was medium size but I didn’t weigh it and I don’t count calories for added butter. So I was most definitely at calorie when you add the butter. I’m taking vitamin supplements regularly again.
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I forgot my steps from yesterday.
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Very true. You posted around same time as me so I am just reading it now. Ok if that is how you got your name you can’t complain. Take rest when you need to. I wonder if it’s bc of your questions about your marriage has you like this. I hope you get to have the conversation with P soon you will feel better.
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I’m no kinda internet sleuth, but from what I can decipher from my weak Googling, Tamara is “only” 66 yrs old!!??!! She easily appears 20 yrs older - my mom at 94 looks better… Living proof that abusing one’s health for decades w/alcohol, cigarettes & God-only-knows what else has its cost. Obviously there are no guarantees & I certainly am not lording it over Tam from my high horse - I feel fairly geriatric myself these days, & other than a few years of partying “way back when” I was a college student, I’ve tried to be conscientious! Yet here I sit, psyching myself up to get a few more chores done before I collapse in bed - I need to go fill my water tanks on the trailer because we may have another service interruption tomorrow… They are working on widening our farm to market road: the first couple of times they accidentally cut the water line, but now they give us a little advance notice when they know they’re gonna have to cut things off to move it around. This has now happened two Fridays in a row which is aggravating!
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Sitting down w/confefe for a few treasured moments w/little dogs before I shower off, load a few more things in the trailer, & haul out… 🤞 for new young relief doctor who is filling in for me today - hopefully she likes us, we like her & we can integrate her into our clinic!
I’m a little anxious about diving back in for what I hope will be my first 25-mi completion in almost 4 yrs. (Twoie & I finished our 25 in May, but we were overtime) Unfortunately Catie is tied up with her marching band, but I’ll be riding w/a competitive trail person who is crossing the aisle to check out endurance!
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Wow. That does sound exciting. I had no idea endurance horse trailing was a thing. I hope you do well.
Last nights sleep wasn’t great. I wish I could remember what I did Wednesday to get such a great sleep.
Food was good but below calories.
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I don’t know how Fitbit can call the last 2 night good to fair sleep when my deep sleep has been less than hr both nights.
food has been ok. No ice cream has been bought. I’m following my food lists and eat when Im hungry but no food after 6 pm. If I have to eat something before an Aleve I don’t count. Weight is now 227. So that is good. My handyman was here yesterday to take measurements for the dryer platform and the bookshelf above the dryer and a bookshelf next to the window and all this will complete the kitchen work. Bookshelves for cookbooks.
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Well, I guess this weekend’s expedition counts as Strike 2, as once again we failed to secure a completion (I blogged about it - omitting more of the bitchy details, like Tony sulking when I turned off the generator Friday night as I didn’t want to run the AC any longer, we needed to conserve some fuel for Sat afternoon!)
I’m still incredibly proud of Twoie; this was 100% on me! He is much easier on my old carcass than Baraq - I’m a little stiff & sore this morning, understandably so! but I know if I had ridden Baraq I would barely be able to walk… weighing in at 192 even, I’m going to step on my new vibration plate & see if it helps with some of the muscular soreness.
Last night’s sleep was “Fair”:
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That is amazing about Twoie and your muscles and bones. I’m impressed you got that much deep sleep but hardly any REM sleep. I don’t think I have ever seen my sleep reversed like that.
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I’m slowly coming out the other side of the “Valley of PEM” - I was thinking longingly of the basic “banana stretch” in yoga, which I couldn’t do in my bed last night with three little dogs piled around me! So it felt so good this morning when I could limp across to the other bedroom where I have my yoga mat to stretch out on the floor & do it for a few minutes…
The vibration plate seems to be helpful also - I am amused by its tinny little Bluetooth speaker, but it will play some music to me while I jiggle away!
But I have decided to offer my four-day weekend to my son as an opportunity to do something together - he has talked about riding in some of the scenic places he’s visited recently. I told him I’d be happy to haul his mule wherever he wants to go! He said he would check with Victoria & let me know… While that’s not exactly what I had in mind (Victoria is not a rider) - I could haul Silas for her, he’d take good care of her for a short ride. Before I know it, February will be here & I will try to do even better to make no demands on my son’s time as he tries to build a successful marriage…
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That sounds awesome. Did you happen to mention to your son that you wanted the weekend to be just about the 2 of you having quality time. I do that with my son. Mother’s Day weekend and my birthday weekend I insist he spends it with me. Maybe if you get the chance talk to your son about it designated time for just the 2 of you.
The planned ride sounds like fun. I always like going riding.
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Sheesh, I’d have to tread carefully there - with all of their ups & downs, I fear that making a suggestion of “exclusion” (of course I’m not shunning Victoria - I just want some one-on-one time with my son, as you say!) would cause trouble…
Hopefully all would be well if he offers this opportunity to her & she declines because it’s not her thing - this is why I have mentioned in the past that I have my doubts about their relationship: Victoria seems so insecure & prone to jealousy on top of being a “high maintenance model” as Zach accompanies her to nail salons, hairdressers & lash bars… I was trying to iron out potential schedules last night, but Her Majesty called so Zach had to immediately sign off the phone. There have been times when we have had dinner, for instance, & she has called 3 or 4 times. It’s as if he’s under constant surveillance; I couldn’t live that way!
But there’s gotta be a compromise between that & a situation like last night, when my husband completely ignored my text message & was gone for hours…(He had a fire dept meeting and was going into town afterwards - I would’ve liked to ride along, but I wound up just having a bowl of granola for dinner which bloated me up by 1.5 lbs this morning, yee haw!)
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Oh dear. Have you tried taking Victoria on a mother in law/daughter in law to be outing yet, to try to bond with her. It’s always good to get in good with the GF so that she can’t complain about you. Maybe if she felt secure that you like her she will feel less jealous or needy. Or whatever it is she has going on in her head.
What is her relationship like with her real mother? Are they best friends or do they not get along with her. Depending on her relationship with her mother might have her thinking things when it comes to you.
She’s never been a daughter-in-law and you’ve never been a mother-in-law so there’s some things you’ll have to figure out along the way, but you gotta get her on your side.
I don’t know. I’m just spitting out things that are coming to the top of my head.
Let me tell you about my week so far. Monday we took Nathan to the eye dr. and found out we were two hours early, so I brought Felicia home she had a migraine, then took Nathan back to the eye doctor. He had his eye exam, while he was there Felicia called to say something was wrong with my big dog Shamie. The little *kitten* found two chocolate squares and was high as a kite. We didn’t know if the 400 mg of THC or the couple ounces of chocolate we’re gonna kill my dog so off to the vet we went. Thank goodness Dr Doug was there. He thought it was funny but he was fine. It took till this morning before it was out of his system. Took Chewie to the vet today to have her shots and her yearly exam but before we left this morning, the smoke detector started to chirp it was out of battery juice and Chewie panicked every time it went off and very clingy. She figured we had to get out of the house.
Next week I take Grizz to the vet for his yearly exam and shots. Living in town we now have to make sure that they have all their shots. Tomorrow I have to go get gas and my lottery tickets. On Friday I’m gonna go talk to the sales rep about a new vehicle. I’ve decided I want the Jeep Grand Cherokee 6 personFood hasn’t been bad. No ice cream but I really want some. Sleep sucks. Not even worth posting.
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That’s a good “icebreaking” idea, but if anything, poor Victoria had an even more disrupted/disturbed childhood than my Z! Her teen parents neglected her to the extent that her paternal grandparents sued (& won) for custody when she was 3 yrs old, so she grew up w/a skewed “sibling” type relationship to her dad. Z has related hair-raising incidents which Victoria is aware of (!!!) of her bio mom trying to “self-abort” - needless to say, they didn’t have much of a relationship when V was a child, & even now, leaves much to be desired since as far as I can tell, bio mom C treats Victoria more like a drinking buddy than any sort of maternal influence…
So it’s no big surprise that Victoria is needy & insecure & has had very little good modeling of a healthy partnership. (Her grandparents exhibit a tumultuous pattern as well - I’ve lost count of how many times Z has related to me that Andy & Adela are threatening each other with divorce)
Thankfully Shamie’s a big boy, but dogs are very sensitive to THC. Two chocolate squares wouldn’t hurt him 😉
And by strange coincidence, I may soon be shopping for a “new used” car too - my baby Buick wasn’t shifting right when I was zipping down the highway yesterday, I was praying for it to get me back to the clinic for my afternoon appointments. I drove my mom’s car (the Big Buick) today, but the drivers side window fell into its slot when I lowered it - another repair 🤦♀️
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It sounds like V could use a very stable Mother figure. Maybe you could be that for her. Show her what a loving mother is supposed to be like. You can be a positive influence on her. Let Z know this is what you would like to do and have him be on your side for this and he can help encourage V to spend time with you. Maybe try prior to going somewhere with riding with Z.
I became the stealing influence with Felicia when she started to date my son again and I can see the difference. She a better mom to Nathan. He is ten but when I saw Felicia again after her and Davey split was 2019 and he was 4. She was trying her best to be a great mom, but she didn’t have the best mom herself and she was trying to do a much better job than her mother did, but I believe I helped in a lot of ways considering I had done it 30 years before she did. I also didn’t have the best mom and made a conscious effort to not be like mine while raising David. Instead I married my ‘mom’ rather than becoming the same. It took 20 years to leave the second one too.Sleep was ok but the deep sleep is really low.
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Last night we took Victoria’s grandma out for her BD - we hadn’t had a “family social” event in a while since both of them have had health issues. They spent the first half of the summer getting over Covid! Andy has had the worst of it with his ongoing cancer battle. I’m honestly surprised he’s holding up as well as he is: bone thin w/a feeding tube. I’d probably have given up long ago - I really didn’t expect him to make it home from his hospitalization last Christmas followed by his prolonged stay in rehab. So part of me is surprised that Victoria is stretching out their “elopement” plans as long as she has - if she wanted both her grandparents in attendance, we should’ve already “dunnit”?
The other, cynical part of me thinks that perhaps, given her grandparents’ tumultuous relationship, she’s hoping something happens to Andy beforehand?!? It’s an awful thought, isn’t it? but there - I said it! After all, he’s the father figure who has lectured her about her extravagant, self-indulgent ways…
I think that’s enough bile for tonight - I need to go finish loading my trailer for my ride tomorrow. Re-shifting my focus means my next Texas opportunity to complete an endurance ride will be November 15th. (I’ve tried to sit quietly in meditation when I was deciding whether to try to go to the Mississippi ride next weekend, & it really won’t be that painful to pass it up - it’s a damn long haul for a relatively short event.)
Sleep has been “OK”
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Sleep for me was finally better for me.
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Yep, it was so nice to not have to set an alarm this morning! but my eyelids still popped open at 7:05 - I lounged around with the little dogs until about 7:45. Rolled out to find new rescue dog Corey had gotten himself stuck on the wrong side of the neighbor’s fence but it’s so brushy & overgrown that it was a major rescue mission! I couldn’t get him to stand up on the fence so I could grab his forelegs & haul him out, & I wasn’t quite tall enough or strong enough to stand on my tippy toes & deadlift him over the fence. Hubby came out to survey what was all the commotion, but wouldn’t just reach over, grab his collar & do a clean jerk - “he had to go put on his pants“.
While he did that, I went back to the barn, got a rope, backed the truck up to the fence, roped Corey around his head & shoulder so I could drag him up & over the fence without choking him. P showed up just as I had gotten this sorted - good thing it wasn’t a real emergency!?! I had a few choice words to say about him being as useless as tits on a boar hog, but I bit my tongue, brushed myself off & came on back in the house to make us breakfast… P doesn’t realize how good he’s got it - that I am not a scold or a nag or, God forbid, a hysterical screamer!
But the good news is, my weight is sitting at 190 even after riding 10 miles in the heat yesterday & putting up with Tony’s complaints. I realize Tony has had an extremely sheltered childhood (I don’t blame his folks with all of his health issues) but I’d like to think I’m broadening his horizons. However I had a broad smile on my face when he was complaining to my friends that I had not put any bottled water in the ice chest (it’s a small cooler - it was more important that the food stay cold!) & dear Julz said, “Well, manchild, feel free to pack your own ice chest & bring it along!”
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I like that Julz. She said what you wanted.
I think you and P are coming to an end or a Head. Something is going to blow or stop. I see remnants of things my ex was doing before I made the decision to leave. You are lucky that you can kick him out and keep your place. He just sounds like an unreliable roommate.I’m surprised I got that much sleep
It’s the Canadian thanksgiving here so I am cooking a family dinner here for the first time for a holiday. In the new house and I have never done a family dinner. My son and ex are coining over. Davey and ex are bringing scallop potatoes and ham. I’m cooking a couple of chickens because I don’t like turkey and I didn’t get to the city to buy a capon. I’m roasting the chicken on a bed of sweet potatoes, carrots and white potatoes. Davey has an also bringing buns and dessert. I think Christmas I’m going to get a prime rib roast.
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Wow! It is getting into the holiday season isn’t it?!? My cousin has already texted about her plans to host again (she picked it up a few years ago when my aunt had to pass the torch) - my hat’s off to her! Sounds much better as you say, to scorch a big juicy prime rib or ribeye roast…
Then I skulked around on FB to see if there had been any Official Relationship Changes (there is not), but I did see her estranged husband posted a photo of himself with his side piece apparently vacationing in Mexico (?). I know if P & I divorce, I won’t be posting it on social media so there’s that…
(Yep, it’s Cabo San Lucas - I think it’s in exceptionally poor taste, especially when his friends & family are commenting “what a lovely couple they are”! People suck, that’s all there is to it!)
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Wow, that is kind of tacky.
Thanksgiving went ok. Although the veggies I put under the chicken to cook didn’t cook all the way through in 2.5 hrs at 325. So just know that the oven needs to be set at 350 if you cook veggies under the chicken in a pan. We didn’t have enough forks or knives unpacked so that was interesting too. Christmas 🤶 hope will be better organized.
Sleep was ok I guess but not enough deep sleep.
I’m heating up the scallop potatoes now to have as lunch.
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Ugh, that’s rough! My big “awake” periods seem to hit in the middle of the night - I’ll generally fall asleep fairly easily, but then stress + weak bladder gets me up around 2 or 3 AM
Then that last good-sized stretch of REM sleep about 4 AM messed up my internal clock - it took me a long time to get on track that it was Monday (dammit).
And yeah, I was strongly tempted to comment on Robbie‘s photo how poor in taste it is for him to be parading his side piece around while he’s still legally married (but I didn’t). The funny thing is, that skank bears a strong resemblance to one of my other cousins (Sharon) which really made me look twice! I hope his wife has not seen it but we all know how ubiquitous social media is - let alone his kids! The maddening thing is the hypocrisy - they’ve always been deeply involved fundamentalist church goers. I suspect they’re waiting until the youngest kid graduates high school but that’s at least 4 or 5 years away? I know **I** couldn’t hold out that long - I tried to put my foot down when my son was 8 mos old (my ex had been running around with his side piece for about 16 mos, something about my (+) pregnancy test triggered his own midlife crisis!) - when I told Ex he either had to stay home to work on our marriage or move out, he tried to terrorize me for a couple more months but finally packed up & moved out right before my first Mother’s Day, how lovely!
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I am cautiously optimistic because a few of my parameters seem to be getting better - I usually sit down at the end of the day & put on the pulse oximeter, it has typically been 93 or 94. I take a few deep breaths & it’ll come up to 95 or 96, but the other night I sat down, put it on & boom! it was 96 - pretty amazing!
At first, I thought it was a glitch but I just tested it this morning & even though I’m a little short of breath from marching around the barn feeding horses, it’s staying at 96. I don’t know if this is spontaneous healing or thanks to the new batch of Chinese herbs that I just started last week? Either way, I’ll certainly take it! I wish my sleep quality were a little better & my shortness of breath felt better, but progress is progress…
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Yes progress is progress. Today Felicia and I went to see my friend Jessica’s in Cottam, about 1 hr & half drive. Took her some of my empty moving boxes. Her son and grandkids are moving to the house across the street from her house.
Sleep sucked. Today while out I stopped and got some of this stuff I find I get a much better sleep with this stuff. So I’m going to try it with my THC chocolate
Tomorrow Griz has a vet appointment. Check up and shots.0 -
Pulse ox read 97 just now, pretty amazing after a stressful tiresome workday! My girl Kristy was out sick today with a migraine, which is concerning given her history of an honest-to-God brain tumor 8 yrs ago. Surgery did not completely eradicate it & she recently had her annual scans. I have floated the idea of targeted photon therapy, which is what I had for my clavicle tumor (a metastasis courtesy of my thyroid cancer) 7 yrs ago. I was able to schedule an extended lunch hour so I kept working throughout the 5 wks of my “zaps”. But of course, the main obstacle will be getting insurance authorization. Absolutely maddening!
I cut off my association with MD Anderson when they didn’t go to bat for me: I thought we had everything lined up for me to have my radiation treatments there; I was going to take a sabbatical from work etc. etc. but then when my insurance disallowed it, suddenly my radiologist dropped me - referring me to surgery where they wanted to do this gruesome mutilation instead?!? So I had to get treatment at the Texas Proton Center here in DFW. What a mess our “healthcare” system is…
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I haven’t been on a scale lately. I’ll try to remember when I get up.
Today Grizz saw Dr. Doug for a check up and shots. He has a slight ear infection with yeast. He got his rabies, distemper, and lanpo, (I think that’s what they call it) I call it the pond vaccine.
I thought I slept better but I do remember waking a lot through the night. Some to pee others not sure.
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