WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2025
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Flea-accurate description of medicaid rules. Different states are more aggressive than some at recouping monies. It has changed a bit over the years-the spouse can keep house, etc. In the vast majority of cases the government just pays.
Kylia-I live north of 70 (close to the northern county line). 70 cuts my county in two. Staff who live south said it started there around 4. No clue if it will impact work tomorrow-I'll just wait for call. Thankfully my subaru handles snow and my driveway isn't too long if I have to shovel.
Had a good lunch with stepson and family. Their boys are all well behaved, just some regular boy stuff.
Going to go put left overs from lunch in container to take to work tomorrow and pack a breakfast-have everything ready if needed.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio6 -
Good evening all
Here is a group picture of all of us at the party.. Dan had a blast..and those he grew up with him were there.. and his mom and dad..
,I forked out for the cake and the pizza your kid only turns 40 once.
Tracy didnt want to take the kids out that late..they go to bed early.. sent her the picture
She start works tomorrow, and I start watching little girl..8 -
Snow: earlier today I got a message on my tablet that the schools are having a 2 hr delay tomorrow. Makes me laugh. But this is the south. What is Lynette going to do when she has to drive from the house to her work. As it is, one time we had a dusting and she told me that she was going to ask Vince to drive her to work since he has a big vehicle. Ahhhh I don’t think so
Allie – good luck tomorrow
Michele NC4 -
Well we lucked out and the major part of the storm went south of us. We got about 2-4 inches of snow, the wind helped spread it around. DGD and her husband came over this afternoon and cleaned the driveway and sidewalk, then salted everything. So we should be good to go in the morning. Then our oldest son and his wife came over to make sure we were set to get out. Felt bad since it was already done so said I forgot bread and was down to one piece, so they brought a loaf of bread. I feel very Blessed.
Flea--Thanks for sharing your vacation pictures.
Allie--Sorry to hear about Jean.
I am realizing just how much I depend on DH for since he can't do much. I can do it, but find taking the trash out is one thing I want him to take back soon as possible, and driving around town. I realized that we got this car the first part of Oct and I didn't drive it until he couldn't the middle of Dec. I used to be so indenpent. I do like working as a team.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE6 -
7707700
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We took MIL's dog over to the care home to see her. She has been asking for him. It was kind of sad but not surprising- Kobe didn't want anything to do with her. We had asked that they have her in a wheel chair so she could go outside and see the dog out there. They said they put her in one but she complained because her back hurt too much(she has 0 tolerence for pain of any kind) so they said to bring the dog inside. She was laying flat on her back, wouldn't sit up. I picked the dog up and put him on her bed three times and she kept calling for him to come to her. He wouldn't do it, just kept looking at me then jumping off the bed. She said he doesn't know her anymore. It was just a strange place.
She would either spoil him(hand feed him his food that was mixed with bacon, chicken, dry food and canned food plus put chicken boullion on it with some water) but, she would also yell at him constantly to eat/drink/go to bed and if he refused she would hit him with a rolled up newspaper- Poor thing doesn't know what to do. We didn't stay too long and took him back home and walked him a bit extra.
DH finds out Thursday if they will be keeping her another week or if he needs to find a new place this weekend.9 -
Lisa - I need go take your advice. I’ve had this discussion too many times when I’m angry, but I need to do it when I’m calm.
You’re right, it probably won’t stick but I’ll feel better for getting it off my chest nonetheless.
This morning he told me that this is an easy thing to replace, we just need to order the part. I’m debating on whether ordering it from Amazon is a good move or not.
Kylia - Sometimes these traits we have are warranted from necessity. I think the first few years of our marriage when we worked different shifts, then he drove truck for 8 years made me even more independent than I planned on being. Truth be told, I called on my Father, Grandfather and Brother a lot too, but they taught me as I went along. 😂
Vitamins - I only take Vitamin D. The health authority here did a 10 year study on it by having the levels tested every time you had bloodwork. It found that everyone in this climate is low and even just taking it through the winter is not enough. My doctor told me to take 3000-4000 IUI everyday. It is hit and miss if I remember or not.
Margaret - I hope your furnace issue is an easy fix.
I need to create a list of who to call for what.
Canadian TV does not allow drugs to be advertised if they require a prescription. We still see lots because we watch mostly American television.
Heather - I believe that we should all be able to do things. Wiring a plug is a good example. I’ve also fixed toilets like Margaret, I’ve changed the element in my oven, and need to do so again. My grandfather was funny, he wouldn’t help me learn to drive until I knew how to put air in my tire, check my oil, etc. but being a girl I wasn’t allowed to mow the lawn.
My father just taught me a lot because I helped him, he was a licensed general contractor, red seal electrician, carpenter and could do plumbing but really didn’t like it.
Pip - Hugs
Rita - I am loving your “thoughts for the day”
Rebecca - I know I’ve been complaining about my poor DH a lot lately but he has been loading the dishwasher and emptying a more often lately. He also will come to the door when he hears me come home from groceries and asks if I need help.
Today I set up Rodger’s new light on the tv, hung some pictures back up in the house again from Christmas and then went to grab a couple items at Walmart.
I am so tired of the same foods so tried something new tonight. It was ok, but that was it. Don’t know if I would do it again. It was air fried ravioli. Quick and easy, but just ok.
Kelly - I’ve told DH that I want him too. It makes a difference.
My girls went together and bought me a digital Skylight frame I think three years ago now. I absolutely love it! I can send a link to anyone I want and they can send me pictures. I can also upload from my phone. I need to actually do a photo dump soon.
Debbie - I’m so sorry your DH is being so miserable about all of this.
My cousin’s MIL treated her dog the same as yours treats hers. When she went into a home the dog refused to have anything to do with her. Even when they brought her for a visit the dog refused. They thought that it was because the dog was scared she would hit him.
I am always so grateful to live in Canada when any of you talk about the cost of medical needs in the States. The province here sets the price that homes can charge for residents and in AB your savings, assets and house cannot be touched. In NB it can. There are some exclusive private homes that can run up to 10k a month, but you must pay for that on your own.
Michele - how far is it to Jess’ from your place? Why does she come just to sleep and go back?
Allie - Sorry to hear of Faith’s passing, I remember when you helped care for her.
Sorry Tracy and the kids couldn’t attend Dan’s party.
It looks like a fun time.
Barbara - I’m not fully sure what goes into a Junk Journal myself, but it’s basically a small notebook decorated like a scrapbook might, but you use “junk” to decorate with.
Kaitlyn is using some of my scraps of paper and stuff that I wouldn’t use, plus ticket stubs, receipts, gift wrapping, etc. this is the two pages she worked on yesterday.
The “news article” type piece came in the whiskey I bought Brodey for Christmas it’s from the town I’m from in NB and they had visited it.
I took the tree and 5 of the Christmas totes, and my craft market suitcases all back to the sheds today. I then loaded up the bags of bottles into my car since I made room.
I think that was my workout for the day.
Tonight I had a nice chat with a longtime friend. I’m coughing today for some reason, I hope I’m not getting sick.
Tracey in Edmonton
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2
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In the UK they can force you to sell your house for care, unless a spouse is living in it. They leave you with a certain amount they can't touch. They would not take the spouse's money, or the childrens'. Every government has promised to reform the situation, but never does. The local authority is responsible for adult care, and it takes around 36% of their whole budget.
As a society, we get what we pay for. I have sworn never to go into care, and, if I am not able to make my own decisions, I have signed an Advanced Declaration not to be given lifesaving treatment, like antibiotics etc. Fighting John about it will be my childrens' job.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx7 -
🤗 🤗 🤗 and 🙏 🙏 🙏 to those who want/need them.
céad míle fáilte to our new ladies.
☘️ Terri
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Winter is here.....about 8" of snow. Vet did call me yesterday. They said not to head that way until they call. As bad as the roads are I am guessing they will be rescheduling.
DH snippy with me because I wouldn't help plow driveway last night. I would rather take the snowblower the 1000 ft than drive the little truck with blade especially in the dark! My anxiety just skyrockets in the snow. Yes, I know how to drive in it. I drove a dump truck to plow and salt for 20 years, but the last 5 were miserable after getting caught in a white out. The only snow we had last year, I watched a camero spin out on my way to a training class. Driver was okay. Missed the trees, just took out fence. I will be happy when I retire and can choose to stay home!
I did color lots yesterday after driving DH lots of places. Should I have done something more productive yesterday, maybe....but it was a good relaxing day for the most part.
Hugs for everyone!
Stay safe wherever you are!
Make the best choices you can for both your mental and physical health!
Love ,
Kylia in a very white Ohio7 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »I needed 51 AA batteries to operate everything I had lit at Christmas. I bought a pack of Duracell on sale as my first set, I don’t think they lasted very well. The second set I bought was Walmart brand and they’re still going.
I try, as much as possible, to get USB powered lights. They were popular for a little while, then seemed to have mostly disappeared. I would have more random twinkly lights about if more were USB powered.Snowflake1968 wrote: »I woke up this morning and it was cold in here. I asked Rodger if the furnace had been on and he said yes, but it was having to get really cold in here before it kicked in. I looked at the thermostat and the temperature was only 18C.
18C (65F) is about as hot as I like it indoors, and if it is 18, I will be in shorts, a tank top, and likely barefoot.
We keep our air con running at 16C and fortunately, with our new sunscreen shades, that keeps the temperature about 18C in the mornings and evenings. During the day, it gets a bit uncomfortable at about 22C (71F), but I add fans to try to keep things cool or go outside where there's always a breeze. Overnight, the temperature drops to 16C (61F), or sometimes a bit lower.
At work, I've now got 2 fans blowing on me to try to keep me cool because the temperature in there is a toasty 21 or 22C.
It's a cool night outside, so it is 16C in here right now, and I'm in shorts and a tank top ... but I have a light sleeveless top over the tank top and I have small socks on.
I bought 2 new tank tops today ... I wear them so often!Snowflake1968 wrote: »I’m tired of having to figure everything out and I have no one to blame but myself.
My parents were really a traditional male/female role household. If something went wrong mom would even call my Dad to come home from work to deal with it if it was something urgent. If Dad couldn’t her Father lived right across from us and when my brother was about 12 he started fixing things. I never wanted to be one of those women that had to depend on a man, I think I took it way too far and Rodger just let me. Why should he have to think about any of it when he knows I will.
Tracey in EdmontonWhidislander wrote: »I think each mate having different tasks is important. If I make a labor intensive meal (lots of pans used etc) he will tidy in the kitchen as much as he's able, putting leftovers in containers, dishes in dishwasher. I just have to hand wash some pots and the cast iron. I might bring in a load of bags first off from the car after a grocery haul, but I let him do the multiple trips from the garage, because I put everything away. I think its a give and take. I would be exhausted if not only did I have to make the meal but totally clean up everything. If your mate is on the "same level" health wise as you, you and him should delegate tasks equally. It seems only fair.
That's my two cents anyways.😁💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
Absolutely Rebecca!!
My husband and I have even divided up the yard. The backyard is his (mostly) and the front yard is mine (mostly). And our laundry - he does his and I do mine.
I have taken on more since my husband's accident, but even so, he still does as many of "his things" as he can.
Maybe it's because we married later in life and had both gotten used to doing things for ourselves.
More on Vitamins, Minerals, etc.
B6, Calcium, and Evening Primrose Oil seemed to help with my menstruation issues. They seemed to ease the nausea, bloating and pain a bit. Thankfully I don't need B6 or Evening Primrose Oil very often now.
I was actually a little puzzled why a man would be on B6 in that article because I associate B6 with "women's issues".
I have been prescribed 5 mg of folic acid and B12 for my MTHFR.
I take a Vit D in winter.
I take some of the electrolytes (calcium, magnesium) when I'm exercising a lot or gardening in hot weather. I also salt my food and eat food with potassium in those conditions.
And opposite to Lisa, I don't take iron and I limit my Vitamin C intake.Vitamins I take B12, magnesium, iron, and in winter D3 with K2. Right now that is working for me. I don't do well on just a multivitamin. By taking these individually I can adjust how my body feels. Call me weird, but about once a week, I hold the vitamin bottle, close my eyes, and ask my body if I need this vitamin. If I sway that means yes, if I hold steady, I feel it is my body saying no. Sounds kind of woohoo, but has helped in my vitamin decisions. Probably need to add fish once or twice a week to my diet for Omegas, but yuck
Kylia in Ohio not stressing about upcoming storm
I'm with you on fish but you could take a fish oil capsule.margaretturk wrote: »I went to the British arrow awards last night. It is the best of British Commercials. I enjoyed it. Interesting there were no big Pharma commercials in that mix. One of my favs was the little boy with his Venus Fly Trap. Many thoughtful ones about Climate Change and family values. The Marmite commercial was cute. They had pregnant moms eating it and then watching the babies faces in utero and their reaction to Marmite. Thought of you Macha because I know you have mentioned it. Here I guess they call it VegX.
If the UK is like Canada and Australia, it may not be allowed to show drug ads. You won't see them on Canadian or Australian TV. I find it hilarious when we go to Canada and watch a US TV channel with SO MANY drug ads and they're all the same.
Do you have any of these symptoms? (And probably every one of us does have those symptoms at some point.) Talk to your doctor about the new drug FIXALL. FIXALL will fix every one of your symptoms (and we'll show you images of people living full and active lives in the background). Are you ready to start taking FIXALL and become one of these exciting people? .............. And then, the mechanical voice comes on listing the thousands of side effects of FIXALL, including all the symptoms that FIXALL is supposed to fix.
My doctor would see me to the door if I came in and suggested I needed a medication!!
Marmite is British ... Vegemite is Australian. Apparently, they are similar but there's something significant that identifies one or the other. I've never had Marmite, and did not like Vegemite!! I haven't eaten Vegemite in 20 years and that is OK with me.
Machka in Oz
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grandmallie wrote: »they were showing some of Tasmania..beautiful down there.
It is beautiful here.
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Not sure how much snow we actually got. I don't think my neighborhood too bad-maybe 3-4? But rest of county must be worse-County has closed offices for day. All schools closed. It really does help I they can clear the roads without a bunch of people competing with them. With the wind drifting gets bad on county roads. Since I have been up for while monitoring and them making calls-I may just stretch out on the couch for a bit
Ginny in Ohio-and I agree with Kylia-very white!4 -
I'm new here. Starting January Right! Been trying intermittent fasting, light workout daily and tracking food. I have 43lbs to lose! The last couple of years have been stressful to say the least! Mom and Dad passed, flipped a house, bought a house and sold our home of 18 years! Had 2 foot surgeries as well!
I started at 180 and my goal weight is 135. Currently at 178.
Looking forward to the motivation and trying to encourage some of you as well.
Sure do miss the daily feed and my group from the old calorie count website.
Brigitte, OH-9 -
Ginny I wish the powers that be would close our shop today, but not happening. Maybe we will sell the last of our snow throwers!
Kylia5 -
Today was my first day back at work. Always tiring! Spent half the day trying to remember where I left off.
Got in a short walk at lunch and a longer walk after work.
This is from my second walk:
Machka in Oz5 -
Welcome Brigitte! You are in good company. Two of us are also in Ohio. Check in often!
Vet called. They are closed! Sigh of relief. Really was looking forward to quiet day time at home tomorrow though. Oh well. Kittens happily eating and drinking now.
Stay safe!
Kylia7 -
Brigitte in OH ( @brigittethomson ) - Welcome! Sounds like you're pretty snow-covered today! Don't forget to bookmark us, or you can always find us under the community section of Motivation and Support threads. The thread moves fast, so don't worry if you don't get an instant response - it could be three to six other people were posting nearly the same time. We talk about our entire lives, as everything we do is part of getting healthy, and avoid only politics and religion.
No white stuff out of the sky, but definitely in the deep freeze (16F / -9C) this morning. Corey's in the living room keeping the fire going because his work truck battery froze overnight and is dead, dead, dead. Had it on the charger for more than an hour so far, and barely even got it to power the lights up, no joy for getting the engine going.
So... he'll be home for another two hours, until the auto parts stores open. There are three just seven miles from here. He'll take my car down and pick up a battery, and once he's got them swapped, he'll head for work. I'm ready for it.
Bless him, by the time dinner rolled around last night, we were both kinda sniping at each other. Just too much togetherness at this point. I apparently get a leetle bossy, and he gets a teensy bit defensive when I do... I've GOT to learn to back off on saying "Well you could..." because what he hears is "Since you don't understand how to do it, I'll tell you how you should..." I'm admittedly prone to giving him advice whether he wants it or not.
It will pass soon enough.
I've got chores to do - one load already through the washer, time to get that in the dryer and get my meds set up for the week.
Off to the races, kids!
Love from frosty Arkansas
Lisa
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Morning all
Im here with the little munchkin who is down for her morning nap
So Im being quiet and checking in..
Tracy is supposed to be working until noontime.we shall see
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Just a little snow in SW Ohio.
Kylia10 -
SIL leading DH down driveway.
Someone thinks she wants out! She was watching baby squirrels.6 -
Oh...and yes, the blind man is driving the UTV clearing the drive for the ladies in his life. I would have just driven to the road, after all, I have 4 wheel drive. It helps him feel useful though. I figure he use to drive this driveway blind drunk, so probably knows it better than us!6
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No snow here but plenty of darkness. Even though daylight is increasing, this is the first day the increase shows up by one minute in the morning which is when I get outside.
In retrospect, I realize that Jake had been slowing down gradually in the last two years or so. We were home together all the time except when I was walking and he gradually did less and less and spent his time while I was gone reading stuff on his phone, playing solitaire on the computer, or watching You Tube videos about things that didn't interest me. When I was home we spent more and more time sitting and talking or watching TV. The change was so gradual that I didn't notice it.
He used to take an active roll in meal preparation. He bought a NInja Foodie and a bread maker and created his own recipe binder. By the last year he was happy to let me do all the cooking and if I asked what he wanted, he would tell me that it seemed that I liked to be in charge of the meals, so he let me. The only reason I liked being in charge of the meals was that if I didn't do, it didn't happen.
The upside of all that is that I don't feel like all the chores and responsibilities have been thrust on me. Gradually I've been doing it all for longer than I realized.
I think Jake's sudden decision in November to trade in the electric car for a car that could be serviced locally was part of his preparation to make life easier for me after he was gone.
Dogs are telling me they want to go out again. They won't stay long, but now I gotta go.
Barbie in NW WA14 -
7717710
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OregonMother wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »[b
Debbie-good luck with MIL decision. While she may like it at home, bottom line is she will get better care in a facility most likely. While it is costly, it sounds like she has the money and then the government will kick in.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
Dh(who yes is the most pessimistic pessimist around) says that she won't get any help, $$ wise, until she cleans out her bank accounts and sells the house and uses that money for her care.
I don't think it is that drastic but it might be.
She has three medical insurances( Kaiser, Tri-care, Medicare) so something should help with the cost I would think. He says there is help through the VA but her monthly income is over the threshold so they won't help. Before he said it was because she would have too much money in her savings after getting the money from her brother(which she only got half of, niece took the other half).
He just keeps saying- that is like a new car every four months - $8000 per month for the care.
Having her in the rehab place hasn't lessened the burden on him really. Just added more stress because they are pushing to get her out of there. He still goes twice a day plus two times or more to take care of the dog and hang out with him because he is lonely.
Yesterday was the first time he saw his mom just one time but we were over with the dog twice.
I can't say much or he gets very angry- unless I am agreeing with him-can't have an opinion of my own
Debbie
Time for church- then pick up the dog to take him over to see her.
I think he is correct, Debbie. My mother-in-law got Medicaid help with her long-term care, but she was not allowed to have more than $2000 in savings. They didn't count her house. Then when she died, they "billed" the estate for what they had spent in her care, to the tune of $130,000. We sold her house to one of my stepson's for basically what we owed Medicaid and paid them off. My husband thought it was immoral, but really, why should the taxpayers pay for her care when she did have an asset? I don't know what they would have done to get the money if she hadn't had her home. I am assuming they would not have come after us for it, but I don't know for sure.
My mother had long-term care insurance which paid us back for most of what we spent for her long-term care; otherwise, we would have had to pay it all out of pocket until she got down to $2000, minus her house. In other words, I don't think you would have to sell the house first, but I think the state will have to try to get back what they have spent. The federal government requires it. (This is from the research we did after his mom died and we received the bill.)
They only way to get around it is to transfer wealth five years before the care is needed. A co-worker did this with his mother's assets, transferred them all into his name, and they prayed that she would last five years before needing care. She did, just. And now, of course, she accuses him of stealing her house and money, but it worked for all of them, and he was able to protect her assets and investments.
But thankfully your MIL has the money to afford a nice place, because what Medicaid pays for isn't nice. We upgraded my MIL, and we paid, I think $1200 a month, out of our pockets to put her in a place that wasn't for "poor people," as she said. Completely oblivious to the fact that she was just about as poor as a person could be.
I understand the pressure, too. Once the rehab place my mother was in realized that she wasn't going to improve, they were pushing us to find her a long-term care situation. I personally don't think going home from rehab, when it is determined that you can't improve, is a wise decision. But everyone has to do what is right for their families.
Hang in there!
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
For a time after my mother in laws husband passed (my husbands stepfather) she sent us a fair amount of money to hide in our savings, then she got it back after a time.🙄💖.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa4 -
dlfk202000 wrote: »Whidislander wrote: »Regarding letting a man fix things, Lee is of the opinion that he just calls other men (or woman) that know more, and get paid for know it, well he keeps businesses going in doing so. He is not a fiddler, or a person that takes something apart just to figure it out. I do let him do a lot of things though. If there is a power outage it is he that goes round and resets everything. He reorganizes the dishes in the dishwasher because evidently I don't do it correctly (frustrating)! I think each mate having different tasks is important. If I make a labor intensive meal (lots of pans used etc) he will tidy in the kitchen as much as he's able, putting leftovers in containers, dishes in dishwasher. I just have to hand wash some pots and the cast iron. I might bring in a load of bags first off from the car after a grocery haul, but I let him do the multiple trips from the garage, because I put everything away. I think its a give and take. I would be exhausted if not only did I have to make the meal but totally clean up everything. If your mate is on the "same level" health wise as you, you and him should delegate tasks equally. It seems only fair.
That's my two cents anyways.😁💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
I like your "two cents"- sure would be nice. My dh also goes behind me when I do things like cleaning the litter boxes or feeding the cats, lawn work at his mom's house- because it isn't up to his standards- Yes, very frustrating.
He does not help with any cooking, dishes, laundry, garbage, etc Then gets mad because he wants me to help him when he cleans the second catio(the cat keeps getting out because of the way he does it plus takes so long to do it, cleaning, vacuuming, etc every day and he is too fat to be inside with the door closed. Doing that catio is the one chore I don't do but I do feed them twice a day in there. Do it quick and get out before he wants to come out. He just wants to eat. The other cat just hides in there when I feed them-she is totally feral.
Debbie
Husband only does the dishwasher deal, but he knows I clean things up better than him. When I come back from visiting my sisters, the first thing I do is get a soapy scrubber and wash down the kitchen counters and stovetop. Writing my name in shiny grease is not ever gonna happen in my kitchen, (but it happens when I am gone!).
I am sorry your husband is cruel, and doesn't help you like he should. ((((((((Big hugs)))))))) to you for dealing, and doing your best.💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa4 -
Whidislander wrote: »OregonMother wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »[b
Debbie-good luck with MIL decision. While she may like it at home, bottom line is she will get better care in a facility most likely. While it is costly, it sounds like she has the money and then the government will kick in.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
Dh(who yes is the most pessimistic pessimist around) says that she won't get any help, $$ wise, until she cleans out her bank accounts and sells the house and uses that money for her care.
I don't think it is that drastic but it might be.
She has three medical insurances( Kaiser, Tri-care, Medicare) so something should help with the cost I would think. He says there is help through the VA but her monthly income is over the threshold so they won't help. Before he said it was because she would have too much money in her savings after getting the money from her brother(which she only got half of, niece took the other half).
He just keeps saying- that is like a new car every four months - $8000 per month for the care.
Having her in the rehab place hasn't lessened the burden on him really. Just added more stress because they are pushing to get her out of there. He still goes twice a day plus two times or more to take care of the dog and hang out with him because he is lonely.
Yesterday was the first time he saw his mom just one time but we were over with the dog twice.
I can't say much or he gets very angry- unless I am agreeing with him-can't have an opinion of my own
Debbie
Time for church- then pick up the dog to take him over to see her.
I think he is correct, Debbie. My mother-in-law got Medicaid help with her long-term care, but she was not allowed to have more than $2000 in savings. They didn't count her house. Then when she died, they "billed" the estate for what they had spent in her care, to the tune of $130,000. We sold her house to one of my stepson's for basically what we owed Medicaid and paid them off. My husband thought it was immoral, but really, why should the taxpayers pay for her care when she did have an asset? I don't know what they would have done to get the money if she hadn't had her home. I am assuming they would not have come after us for it, but I don't know for sure.
My mother had long-term care insurance which paid us back for most of what we spent for her long-term care; otherwise, we would have had to pay it all out of pocket until she got down to $2000, minus her house. In other words, I don't think you would have to sell the house first, but I think the state will have to try to get back what they have spent. The federal government requires it. (This is from the research we did after his mom died and we received the bill.)
They only way to get around it is to transfer wealth five years before the care is needed. A co-worker did this with his mother's assets, transferred them all into his name, and they prayed that she would last five years before needing care. She did, just. And now, of course, she accuses him of stealing her house and money, but it worked for all of them, and he was able to protect her assets and investments.
But thankfully your MIL has the money to afford a nice place, because what Medicaid pays for isn't nice. We upgraded my MIL, and we paid, I think $1200 a month, out of our pockets to put her in a place that wasn't for "poor people," as she said. Completely oblivious to the fact that she was just about as poor as a person could be.
I understand the pressure, too. Once the rehab place my mother was in realized that she wasn't going to improve, they were pushing us to find her a long-term care situation. I personally don't think going home from rehab, when it is determined that you can't improve, is a wise decision. But everyone has to do what is right for their families.
Hang in there!
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
For a time after my mother in laws husband passed (my husbands stepfather) she sent us a fair amount of money to hide in our savings, then she got it back after a time.🙄💖.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
My mil had thousands of dollars stashed around her house. We had to go through everything, literally.
It's sad that it has to come to that, but it is what it is.
Flea
Willamette Valley OR4 -
The kids came over and were delighted with their little crates. Even Max!!! We kept joking about how he should paint his in manly colours, so he took that on and painted Manly Man's Box on the side, and a spanner and a screwdriver. They also played the most complicated game imaginable!
Lunch was wraps, and jumbo hot dogs, bacon, mashed avocado, and Greek salad. Salted caramel ice cream for dessert. Much appreciated, especially by Edie. Bea had pasta bows and pesto, as always.
Bea didn't quite finish hers.
So, absolutely knackered, but v pleased with the day.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx9 -
grandmallie wrote: »Good evening all
Here is a group picture of all of us at the party.. Dan had a blast..and those he grew up with him were there.. and his mom and dad..
,I forked out for the cake and the pizza your kid only turns 40 once.
Tracy didnt want to take the kids out that late..they go to bed early.. sent her the picture
She start works tomorrow, and I start watching little girl..
Allie, I seem to know that restaurant! What was the name? I think I’ve been there for a Christmas party when I was working at the printing shop in Newington. Brought back instant memories!
Prayers for all your stress. Hugs too….
RVRita4
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