Not the Success I had Hoped for ...but

Lady_Magenta

Today was the big day. A jump on the scale and I would finally see the 50-pound weight loss I had been aiming for and not just that. I would also finally see a weight starting with a “2,” and I would leave the 3-hundred numbers behind me for good.

I had worked so hard, so much has changed since last September.

I stepped on the scale and my face got longer and longer. I felt so much disappointment. I had gained weight..quite a bit, five pounds in one week on my usual daily calorie intake between 1200 to 1500 calories a day.

WTH?

I was furious. I had a complete thyroidectomy at the beginning of February and I now have to take a daily hormone pill for life. Also, I have to take calcium supplements because I live dairy-free free and the glands that are responsible for the calcium are a bit under shock after surgery and it takes a while for all to be normal again.

Weight gain happens to most after a surgery like this. But why me? I am doing everything right (ok the 4 Merci bars the other day were not good) but otherthan. I am gluten-free, dairy free, I don’t often eat added sugar, I am no longer diabetic – not even pre-diabetic anymore.

When the scales showed 308 lbs, I got so angry with myself, with the universe, with life in general. How unfair is this?

I have been battling constipation for weeks, a known side effect of Calcium Carbonate(Oystershell Calcium). I felt lost, but then I held my head up high...and that’s the difference to me now and how I would have reacted last year before I came here.

I am in it to win it and now matter how long it will take and no matter how many setbacks there will be. I am going to lose the 100-150 pounds I am aiming for. Watch me! And I will do it without weight loss medication because this is for life.

I emailed my doctorand this time, I made it URGENT. I wasn’t willing to wait for 2 or 3 days, I was hoping to get an answer today.

"Your meds need to be adjusted," she wrote back. "You have an appointment on April 21st; we will see how your blood work looks then,” she continued and I answered right away.

“I am going to get the blood work done tomorrow morning TSH 3 and 4 (hormones) and the Calcium and Vitamin levels and we adjust it right away,” I wrote back. “Please, I am not willing to gain another five or ten pounds. We need to fix it now.”

Just a year ago, I would have used this setback and the unexpected weight gain to eat myself silly. I would have taken this as an excuse to overeat and binge-eat because why not?

But I am not this person anymore.

It’s not just that my weight changed over the last seven months (down from 348 to 308 in the morning), but my thinking has changed as well.

I am not an overeater anymore. I eat mindfully and I plan my meals. I weigh my meals and on most days, I log what I eat faithfully (not yesterday due to a power outage).

I will succeed because that’s why I am here.

After messaging back and forth with my doctor (or her nurse practitioner) I felt a bit guilty. I am not that urgent and neither am I special, but I appreciate that I got some answers today already.

I ordered calcium citrate (it doesn’t cause constipation but costs more, I learned today).

I will do what it takes. Watch me!

Maybe I shouldn’t have posted it under SUCCESS, but then when I think about it. Now, in the late afternoon, it feels like I had success today. I am not giving in.

(PS. I don’t have cancer, we didn’t know that before surgery.)

Turns out I picked the right name for my group. I got that right.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/147326-determined-losers-on-a-weight-loss-mission-its-not-a-diet-its-a-lifestyle-change

lacylucy1935

Sounds like you are determined! Don't give up, today is a new day and you can do this. You have had a minor hiccup but will push forward! I struggle all the time and I have 10 pounds that just won't give in, but I have to stay on it all the time or I could easily go right back up another 10-15 or even more.

You got this :)

broadwey21

You are so inspiring keep it up, you have such a good attitude and it is plain to see you will get there. I recently had a similar experience I got down to 302 from 325 in 2 months I was so excited to see my number start with a 2 so I totally get it when I didn't get there on my planned timescale :)

We went on a mini break to Seville in March, we walked loads probably at least 3 times my normal step count, we ate sensibly and quite often missed dinner (we had breakfast included, we had a decent high protein breakfast then shared some Tapas in the afternoon so didn't need dinner) We weren't saints had a few treats here and there but nothing crazy, I got on the scales at home and it showed a 5lb gain in 4 days !! Like you the old me would have said sod it and binged but my inner voice was saying its a body blip and it will even out, I thought about it, I was exhausted from the travelling, I had a minor injury on my foot which was painful and to top it all the "sleepwell" mattress on the hotel bed was so uncomfortable that I didn't sleep well, I Googled it as I knew I hadn't eaten anywhere near the 17,500 calorie excess that I would have to have eaten to gain 5lbs and it affirmed that my body was in shock, just too much going on and it said nope not having it, anyway I ate my normal regime nothing super strict and weighed the following weekend and there we are back to 302, I've only recently come back to MFP and was wondering where the newsfeed had gone I used to like that, I'm hoping to hit the 2's soon.

Good luck to you with the Dr I hope they listen to you.

peter4018

Gaining 5lb would require a surplus of 17,500 calories. If your TDEE is around 1,500 calories a day (very conservative estimate), that would mean you'd need to take in 4,000 calories a day for a week to gain 5lb.

So good news then! What you're seeing on the scale isn't necessary fat gain, something else is going on. Maybe massive water retention, the constipation you mentioned, or your scale battery needs changing, or something. Weigh yourself again in a few days and see what it looks like.

You are right though. Not giving up is a success and you are doing great! If the food tracking your reported is accurate you haven't gained any fat. Not on 1200-1500 calories a day, its just impossible.

kpitts925

Such an inspiring post! Keep up the great job you are doing, especially making YOU a priority!

LizbethHeller

You have made so much progress! Not just in weight, but in attitude! Whatever is going on, it is temporary. Don't give up!

Jille0

You know, it is a great success to make yourself a priority in your life. Congratulations! Self love will see you through to your goal.