Are you Dishonest, Slightly Dishonest or Completely Honest?
I’d like to know, as I’m sure others would like to as well, how honest you are with your food diary. Do you over-calculate? Under-calculate? Do you miss logging in days (or completing the day) because you know you are way over your goals?
I think just like AA, diaries are important not only for accountability and honesty, as well as it helps each of us to know we aren’t the only ones who struggle sometimes and that we have the support of the like-minded! Show your truth…. it can possibly help each and every one of us all!
Mine? I will log until I know I messed up royally. I won’t feel guilty for too long because it’s a wasted emotion that does more harm than good. BTDT. I am pretty honest to the 1/8th count otherwise (yes that includes every drop of ketchup, every spice and every beverage even if it's zero calories). 😂 Sometimes, however, like yesterday, I know I was going to go over at dinner. Oh, and I also had wine. 😂 Did I still log it? I did. I forgive myself because life is too short and we do the best we can and sometimes we may slip or just want to enjoy ourselves a little to keep our sanity. Knowing the emotion behind each meal or bite also plays a part. I ate a healthy dinner even if it was over my daily. If I’m being a "free for all" or it’s an "all or nothing" moment or meal, I will analyze the emotions behind it.
I have underestimated my wine glasses by the way LOL! I thought I was drinking 5 ounces but it turns out, after measuring my second glass last night, (my glass isn’t a wine glass but more of a cordial size like for amaretto) that it is not 5 ounces, it’s 8 😂. Has this happened to anyone else?
Be proud of how far you come, what you are still learning, and stay focused on what your goals are. Let’s continue to motivate each other every way or any way we know how!
Best Answers
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I'm sure I made accuracy errors as a newbie, but I tried to be as complete and entirely honest as practical during weight loss and in the first months of maintenance. To me, food logging is a tool, and I want to use that tool - any tool - in a way that supports my personal goals, but without dragging me into obsession, compulsion, or any other extreme that disrupts good overall life balance. Exactly how that works out is individual.
Just as personal background, I dislike life drama in general, and I'm not particularly emotional about food. I'm fortunate enough not to have had early-life trauma or drama about eating or body image. I know not everyone is that lucky. I know not everyone has my personality type, and don't consider that personality type particularly wonderful or virtuous. It's just how I'm wired - what I personally have to work with. We're all different, and I feel like personalizing the tactics is always important, but how to do that will vary with our personal preferences, strengths, challenges, lifestyles and more.
For me - and I know not for all others - deciding to eat over goal is just a decision I make, and I need to own the consequences of my decisions, good or bad. Sometimes in retrospect it's worth it, sometimes it's not. If it wasn't worth it, I need to figure out how to change my future decisions. For me - luckily - that doesn't feel like a character test, doesn't involve shame or guilt, etc. It's just food, not sin, and I need to eat in order to live . . . ideally happily, because mental health is also important.
These days, in long-term maintenance, I don't log every single day all the time, though I still log most days. When I don't log, that's also a decision, and I own it. It's probably more likely to happen on over-goal days, at least in part because those are often days when I had some delightful thing at a restaurant or friend's house that was entirely worth eating, but I'd be making a totally wild guess at portion sizes and calories.
Early on, I would've estimated, because I thought it was useful to get my best practical estimate of my actual calorie needs. Now, it's less of an issue, because I have a good handle on my calorie needs from long-term logging. I know how to lose a pound or few if necessary because my weight creeps up. I also know that some rare unusual day is a drop in the ocean, and my routine day-in, day-out habits are the ocean, the things I really need to manage most carefully to stay at a healthy weight.
There are also days now when I don't log because I'm especially busy, distracted, or tired. It takes very little time, but doing it religiously is less important to achieving my goals than it was at first. I'm just more relaxed about tactics, nearly 10 years in. I could probably stop logging and maintain weight, but I don't particularly want to. (Some other people don't want to log long term, and that's fine, too. It's still about personalization of tactics.)
I think self-honesty in logging generally is a helpful thing, if logging is the right tool for a particular person. Not logging things one wishes they hadn't eaten is counter-productive for reaching weight management goals. I understand that's not easy for everyone, but it's IMO important. If that's a big struggle for a person to do, I'd be considering whether food logging is the right tool for that person. It isn't the best method for everyone. Other methods can work.
I admit, I'm sort of curious why you decided to delete the other thread: I thought there were some good answers there.
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For the record, I can see your diary.
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Answers
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Logging for me can become an obsession. In part because I'm probably OCD about some things, and also because I have 8 lbs to lose and it works for me to be totally acurate. I enjoy myself a little more on weekends. Weekdays is where I mostly stay consistent, yes for those reasons you mentioned "to not disrupt good overall life balance." Whenever I get to my goal weight and maintain (done a bunch of times in my life), then I don't always log in every day completely or at all even. I guess I meant by my question is, are people not being honest because of embarrassment or shame, or is it because they just aren't as motivated or determined to reach their goals. Just trying to get people to open up, because this is a non-judgmental thread and if anyone does judge, they will for sure be told to buzz off!
We all must take accountability and accept the consequences for our choices/decisions, absolutely. If I go out to restaurant or friend's house, yes I sometimes have also did an estimate of what the caloric content probably is… but then I get in my head and say "well, what about the fat, fiber, salt, carbs." So it does and can become an obsession at times for me, but I am okay with that.
I think the guilt comes from years of battling weight loss and gain. I maintain it for a few years and always gain it back. It also comes from years of having some anorexic tendencies such as starving myself, or binging and spitting out the food. It's a learning process that took me a while to kick but it has been over 15 or 20 years since I've done that. I guess the mentality of it still can arise if I eat something that will ruin my weight loss for the entire week, which it does, probably because of my age, etc., hence the guilt.
As far as being an emotional eater, yes, I feel I sometimes do that but rarely ever anymore! I think that's a learned behavior from when we are children, we are rewarded with food for doing something good. Or being in an Italian family where seconds and thirds are pushed on you, no exceptions! LOL! However long it takes to learn new behaviors does not matter….as long as we learn!
As far as trauma in the past, that can be part of emotional eating as well. I will not discuss my traumas though don't worry. In one of my other instances, a trauma such as someone saying you look fat, or another saying you could lose a little more (after telling them you are so proud and happy that you lost 8 lbs!), well that can be damaging permanently, even if you heal from it and gain confidence over the years after you let those people go.
I guess this post I made was to know where people are at (weight loss or maintenance) and to help inspire and motivate and support one another. Also because I notice a lot of people have their diaries hidden. I can only imagine they hide it, it is possibly because they are possibly either not fully honest, or they don't want to show the foods they had if they are bad choices, even if they stayed in their caloric goal for the day. I think it's awesome to see people's diaries because not only does it "inspire me", but sometimes it can "give you ideas on what to eat" when you are so bored of eating what you usually eat on a weekly basis. I agree that it is counter-productive for reaching weight management goals by wishing they hadn't eaten something, because it's a learning process.
Lastly, to answer your question why I deleted the other thread, it was because I had it in the food section. I wanted it in the motivation and support section. Yes absolutely there were some (2 answers were posted) very good answers there, I totally agree! And I was hoping those who did post on prior thread that is probably now deleted will put their responses here into this thread.
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I've actually wondered whether MFP now defaults diary setting to private, or defaults profiles on the logging side (as opposed to Community side) to private. I joined a long time ago - 2015 - and there have been some episodes that led to privacy-related things being tightened up a bit. I'm not sure whether diary settings are among them. If it's defaulting to private these days (?), then diary being private isn't a sign of honesty or lack of it.
I don't even remember what the default was when I joined, TBH. Mine's open to friends, and I accept FRs from anyone who has at least some characteristics that help me believe they're not a scammer/catfisher, such as people who have some reasonable-looking posting history in the Community. I even encourage people to FR me if they want to see how I get protein as a vegetarian.
I've set mine to friends because there did seem to be a period where a few people were doing "gotcha" things about diaries to people they had disputes with, which in my world is just unnecessary drama. I don't pretend to be a perfect "clean eater" - I don't think that's necessary, TBH. But I also don't need stuff like "of course you claim you prioritize veggies, but you actually eat Doritos!!!" (BTW, I've acknowledged the occasional Doritos here, like now. 😉)
I don't really believe in "bad food choices" at the individual food level, as long as the foods aren't literally poison, or allergenic to the person involved. I think what matters is good overall nutrition and calorie level from the overall way of eating. Eating that Dorito isn't going to cancel out the Greek yogurt at breakfast or the 400g of broccoli at dinner. 😆
ETA P.S. I think you can flag/report your own post, click the "other" option, and ask the moderators to move it to a different section.
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Copied from the other thread prior to it being deleted…
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I am completely honest, but I am not necessarily completely accurate. By this I mean I do not bother calculating exactly how much ketchup I use with my fries, or use a scale to decide if I had 8oz of chicken or 9oz. Estimates fill my log, but as long as I'm still making progress, this is good enough for me. If I were to end up stalled and frustrated, I would make a more conscientious effort to be more detailed and thorough. But not until then.
Never bothered to create a food item, but I have compared existing food items against Google searches of USDA or restaurant menus to decide which entry I want to use.
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Yes, I can see your diary @AnnPT77. I had no idea it could be a default private diary setting. So obviously it wouldn’t mean someone is hiding it on purpose if it’s set at a default. Thanks for letting me know. I guess nobody would know if their own diary is hidden unless they were asked or told.
I cannot tell who would be a scammer or catfisher.
I agree, I’ve witnessed people calling people out for having bad items and yes, it is totally inappropriate and unnecessary drama, I agree! I didn’t mean bad choices, I meant choices that aren’t really part of healthy eating or good overall nutrition and calorie level. Haha, yes I agree that eating Doritos will not cancel out the Greek yogurt or broccoli! 😊
I didn’t know that about flagging and moving it to a different location. I flagged it to remove it. I didn’t notice a section where I can change it to a different location. Now I know and thank you for the information!
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Thank you for transferring your response from my deleted thread!! (which is because I didn't know I could have just transferred it to the right section lol) @nossmf . Thank you for your complete honesty…. I dig it! In the end you're right, if consistency is there and you're still making progress, then it isn't necessary to add minuscule calories, especially if you work out. Yes, if i didn't have the nutrition info on the actual item, then I have googled searches too. Thanks again!
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@AnnPT77 I joined back in 2010 (I know my profile says 2014, but something happened at that time which caused many people's accounts to "reset" for a reason I never learned.). IIRC, at that time you were asked point blank when establishing your account what setting you wanted, and IIRC the little toggle defaulted to "Private". Over the years, I remember several instances of new members asking for assistance with their diary, and established users asking them to change settings to "Public" or whatnot.
I can ask my daughter about her account, she opened hers just a couple months ago.
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Can someone please tell me if they can see my diary on my profile page?
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SafariGalNYC you can transfer your message from my "soon to be deleted prior post" here if you like. I deleted it only because I wanted to put it in the proper section "motivation and support" and remove it from Food and Nutrition area. I didn't know I could request just to move it rather than delete it. Anyway, Iiked your answers too!
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It's open to friends, at least. You should be able to tell yourself, by looking at your diary settings.
In web browser MFP, it's in Settings/Diary Settings near the bottom of the page.
In the phone/tablet app, it's in More/Settings/Diary Settings/Diary Sharing.
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I figured the quicker way was to politely ask if someone could just go to my profile and look… nevermind. Thank you.
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That's reasonable and logical. 🙂 After 30 years in IT, a good chunk of it as a help desk manager, it's just reflex for me to answer questions with "how to". 😉
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I checked my settings. It’s set to public. Thank you!!
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Ahhh gotcha. I get that! No worries. Thank you again!
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