Does anyone have a similar experience? Fear of Goal Weight

I have a milestone but I keep avoiding it. I reached it once 25 years ago and then immediately stopped trying to lose weight. I reached it again two years ago and then immediately stopped trying to lose weight. When I see that first number change from a 2 to a 1, panic sets in.
It really concerns me that I have this mental block that makes me not want to reach my healthy weight. I am trying again this spring. 20 pounds to go until I reach the milestone, I am hoping that I am able to make it past the milestone this time.
Does anyone have the same issue and some ideas about conquering what looks like a fear of being healthy?
Answers
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I completely relate to the challenge of hitting a weight milestone and then suddenly feeling a deep resistance or even fear. It’s like part of me is wired to retreat the moment I get close to the goal. I've been within 5 lbs of onederland too many times to count and then gain back weight.
I started in February with a different approach. Every day, I recommit to my journey, not just to lose weight, but to become the healthiest, most empowered version of myself. I remind myself that I am safe to succeed. I am worthy of being well. Instead of focusing on the fear, I center myself in my “why”—why I started, what health means to me, and how I want to feel living in my body every day. Through positive self-talk, I challenge the voice that says “you can’t” and replace it with “you are doing it.” And I’m not chasing perfection—I’m building consistency, one day at a time.
I hit 199.5 today, for the first time in a very long time. I’m stepping through an old mental block and into lasting freedom. With positive thoughts I can make it past and stay past the milestone—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too.
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